How to communicate (if at all) personal handicaps?

[lux7]

I was one of the lucky 5.000 ppl a year to get sudden deafness to one ear.

It will be harder to understand people out of crowded and noisy places and/or people whispering to the non working hear.

How would you communicate during those times that you have hearing issues?

Keep it vague, such as something like “let’s talk about that later/let’s move over there, I have some issues at hearing you now”
or openly and frankly as you are unfazed by it “only one working ear here, let’s keep the deep conversation for quieter places”


WORK
And about work, would you go the same way as any other place or would you change something given the different relationship with employer and colleagues..

 

[Ross]

I would just say it as soon as it became an issue.

For example, she starts talking to you on the side that you are deaf on, and you can barely hear her, tell her that you're deaf in that ear.

I think frankness is definitely the route to go in this situation, as people can be put off if you tell them you can't hear/understand them without a justifiable cause. Same thing goes for work.

 

[lux7]

Thank you Ross.

How would you go about people who give you the "oh poor you" expression/sentence once you tell the story if "oh poor you" is the last thing you want to hear?

 

[ray_zorse]

It's weird but I've basically never had this problem, perhaps cos people can easily see I have hearing aids so they tend to ask about it first?

But Ross is right... I guess it's kinda like the situation where you meet someone in a wheelchair and you're kinda hesitant to even mention the fact they're in a wheelchair... but in reality they'd probably prefer you just referred to it straightaway "so what happened to end up with you in this sick arse chariot anyway?"... so as to clear the air... and that's what I prefer, I have no objection to people asking me about my being deaf or whatnot. So I basically put them at ease and tell them I don't mind talking about it, it's fine to ask whatever questions they might have... usually they want to know how much I can hear and I'd say "ohh well if I got out of the shower and someone called me I wouldn't know, but I'd hear a door slamming".

You can pretty much turn it to your advantage... examples "okay I'm just gonna move to this seat over here so I can hear you better" or perhaps the other way... "can't hear you too well, move to this seat"... or "lets go outside it's too loud in here"... et cetera... the other thing to do is to have people yell into your good ear if it's noisy. I tend to have a routine I use for this, first I tell them to yell in my ear and they're usually pretty pathetic, like they stay 5cm away... so I give them an example of how different it sounds between 1cm and 5cm... then I have them try again... etc... I say something like "don't be fuckin polite, just yell in my ear so I can hear you, right up close"... most will get it eventually and I'll congratulate them.

-Ray

Edit: Also, if their reactions to the story are not what you want, don't tell the story. Make something up or avoid the question somehow. Really all they need to know is the situation now, not how it happened. I have this about my accent / origins, often end up explaining that I have an accent because I'm deaf and I'm really really Australian... which sounds like qualifying myself... load of bullshit, so what I've been doing now is saying shit like "Oh I can't possibly tell you that... I would lose my top secret security classification" or "I have been sent from a secret location to tantalize the ladies" or "A secret agent never reveals his origins"... have been playing around with it, don't want things to become too scripted.