How to deal with girl full of herself?

[Xerud]

Ok so there was one girl I didn't want to pickup and I said before that i've got girlfriend (which I think at least I shouldn't tell that) but I didn't want anything from her because she's acting like she's something special.

The girl was sitting on bench and with friend (there was 100 meteres away festival) so I said hey [her name] I already knew her from before, but I haven't talked with her before just said my name.

Today was different in my opinion she was still interested and just asked for my number and I said that I don't have cellphone so she gave me on facebook.

So FB conversation was like :
her number
I said then cool, maybe I'll contact you see ya tomorrow...
HER: Okey
ME: maybe
HER: as you want
ME: haha wau, someone's angry
HER: I'm not haha but like you want, but we wont be alone like today
ME: aha okay... you can quite dance salsa
HER: yeah sure hei haha
ME: yeah I've seen better (mean better girls) dancing... for start is okay
HER: -_-" haha
ME: slowly
HER: "I" easy
ME: I heard that your going tomorrow for running (here in our town it's some popular running -sport so I joked little)
HER: ne haha?
ME: you said to me
HER: who said that, what
ME: you
Her: am no
ME: I'm joking, cjao
HER: haha right
ME: blond?
ME:
HER: yes haha
ME: cool
ME: i don't want to write
HER: I see haha
and just a little conversation she said that she go to sleep and I'm going too actually so I said
HER: I'm going to sleep
ME : go
ME: no, no I'm kind
ME: good night, have a nice sleep
HER: same, goodnight

Also when we were just dancing little salsa and everything she wanted I think to hold my hand little but when she hold my hand she squeezed(like holding tight - hard) it why?

Ok so actually I'm not interested in that girl but how to make her interested in me, what I did wrong, should I even contact her on cell phone? What would you write to her on cellphone? I'm shit at writing text.

 

[ray_zorse]

I think the problem is you were not nice to her. If you want girls to chase you, you always have to be warm and receptive to them, if they initiate anything it should be rewarded handsomely with your attention and engagement. There's a perception that to succeed in pickup you need to be an asshole, but that's not true. It's rather that you shouldn't be a "nice guy" in the specific ways described in "No more Mr Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert Glover. Or for a more convenient reference check this article. Although the article is titled "How to be an asshole", in my opinion what it really describes is how to be a nice guy without being a pushover. That's really the sweet spot. With this girl you were being unnecessarily critical and insulting. So your attainability was not good. But honestly, it's hard for me to understand why you want to game this girl if, as you say, you're not interested? Why not just leave well enough alone? Make a polite dismissal, or politely accept her number and don't contact her... if you actually want her as a friend that's different, but what value does she bring to the table as a friend? Will she be inviting you to all the cool parties, etc? ... if you friendzone her on the pretence it might lead to sex with you later, that's not a nice thing to do, but if you really want her as a friend you could have an honest discussion with her in which you explain your position re. dating and/or friendship?
Ray

 

[Xerud]

That's right. I wasn't writing nice to her because she's looking just for attention I HATE that ...but before i was kind to her... plus she's acting like some 14 year old kid. It's about 17 years old. One more thing how to be leader when we were walking and i saw friends and i just talk for a little but they weren't even waiting for me. Why?

 

[ray_zorse]

Well, you know, we all want attention... to be a high value man we have to rise above that (because attention-seeking, approval-seeking behaviour makes us look weak and unattractive), but girls are allowed to be girly, they thrive on attention, connecting and relating, we can indulge them a little, no? I don't see any problem with her behaviour, she wasn't being bitchy, etc? If you're not attracted that's fine, but do be nice, a high value man is compassionate to those he deems as below him, right?

About leadership there are some threads about this, it comes up from time to time... typically dudes start to read GC material and suddenly want to be the leader of their social group where before they'd been kind of a nobody, well don't sweat it, change happens organically. Just focus on always bringing value to the table, such as by being a friendly, relaxed guy, by doing small things such as introducing people to each other, or if someone's left out of the conversation, engaging them, or if people are standing around wondering what to do, confidently stating a plan (need to think a few steps ahead to be able to do this... on the other hand, status jockeying etc, is value taking... so if someone is already leading the group just try to fill your assigned role, help move things forward and otherwise leave well enough alone. The last thing you want to be thinking is stuff like "everyone is ignoring me, how do I make them stop", if they're ignoring it's because you haven't earned their attention yet. Being a leader takes hard work and a commitment to doing things for the good of the group, if you do that you'll eventually tend to find yourself in a leadership position whether you want it or not (people being what they are, i.e. pretty passive). Add value in the small picture and let the big picture take care of itself. It helps if you really like and respect people (in your group) and want to help them out and smooth the path for them. Also bear in mind some people are not cut out to be leaders (too selfish / conflicting priorities, etc) and being a sigma, not alpha, would suit their personality best. Anyway, you get what you work for.

Ray