Long-Term How to deal with proposed Sex Bribes

[GregorDeVillain]

It's a simple enough question.

I was introducing my girlfriend of 7 months to Dungeons and Dragons where I DM and she wanted her character to have something more powerful so she started seducing me and initiate sex, expressing directly "If I do XYZ, can I have that?"

I was caught off guard. It's not like I've ever had issues having sex with her and it's not that I ever had problems since but that was obviously a test and all I could do was playfully say no all the time while counter escalating.

Is there a better frame to hold in those situations than "No, i don't think i will, but i will enjoy what you’re offering regardless"?

If she had denied continuing afterwards, how should I act?

 

[Derek da man]

What's wrong with a little trading between you? You need to keep your negotiation skills sharp and understand what you want out of any trade.

If you agree to trade make sure you get more out of it than she does, just make sure you keep the upper hand or the most dominant position.

 

[GregorDeVillain]

What's wrong with a little trading between you? You need to keep your negotiation skills sharp and understand what you want out of any trade.

If you agree to trade make sure you get more out of it than she does, just make sure you keep the upper hand or the most dominant position.

Thing is, I don't like getting bribed like that. Half my friends are in that group, I introduced them to it, and I have a certain reputation to uphold of being strict but fair. So she was testing me and making it playful and I was trying to look for a way to let her down easy without spoiling the mood by being too serious

 

[Derek da man]

Now with the extra situational information - I think you're right in that she was testing you.

Is there a better frame to hold in those situations than "No, i don't think i will, but i will enjoy what you’re offering regardless"?

I think your frame should be "No - I don't trade." then just TAKE what she offered and maybe in front of friends (depending on situation) just to make the point. If she wants to test you then push back.

 

[GregorDeVillain]

So... I was right in my knee jerk reaction?

 

[Derek da man]

In my opinion yes. Next time you'll be prepared with some other suitable responses

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

It's a simple enough question.

I was introducing my girlfriend of 7 months to Dungeons and Dragons where I DM and she wanted her character to have something more powerful so she started seducing me and initiate sex, expressing directly "If I do XYZ, can I have that?"

Was this during an actual game with other people?

WIA

 

[Wick]

Think you handled it well.

If I was in this situation, I would leverage the role play aspect of this.

“You do realize you’re in the realm of D&D, where a bribery such as that is met with strict punishment” with a wink
And if she continues and says something obvious like “what if I like punishment?”

“I’m especially harsh on pretty little (brunette, blonde” what ever she is), so you’ll get your punishment, but no favors ”

All said with over the top seriously, and a grin. Basically not taking her serious, setting a new frame and ignoring hers, and moving on. “It’s done, you can’t, but we can play for a moment, and then we’re back to D&D”