Hi Samson,
I think I have a lot of value but I'm not displaying it adequately. I have a career at the top of the tech industry, my own business, a top education, I'm an ex-pro pianist and musician, a national powerlifter and bodybuilder, considered handsome and the British accent seems to add something. I'm also a very caring and loyal, warm and affectionate person. I have a lifestyle where I can do what I want when and where I want. The women who are platonic friends see me as a very high value man. And yet I struggle to have a woman like this take me seriously though she is younger than me and probably doesn't have the same real world experience.
Based on my knowledge of the girls in DC area It was probably your British accent combined with your confidence that probably let you advance this far with this girl. Read the article I mentioned to get an idea of how well you did.
The suggestion I would have is that you have a wide range of achievements and interest that are amazing. When interacting with girl’s emphasis the areas that you feel will connect well with a particular girl. It differs from girl to girl. A girl that has been living in the DC area has probably has other guys trying to interact with the same manner that work in the tech industry. As you probably know the DC beltway has a large number of tech companies. Based on my reading of the girl on the details you wrote I would have emphazied on future travels/ adventures that I planned to take. For Example I would have explained about a plan to visit south Africa and do the Bungee Jump From Bloukrans Bridge . I would go into vivid details about my plans. If my read was correct about her likes This would have made her want to be a part of my plans without even asking her. This probably would have connected on an emotional level if my read was correct. My suggestion is read the girl and talk about things that will connect with her on an emotional level than at a logical level.
Looking back on it, I think when I was in her hotel room before sushi, after she changed her top, I could have just taken her hand and pulled her a little in front of me and said, "well let's take a look at you then," with a smile and then if she turned her body toward me then I could have held her chin or moved her hair and said "you have the deepest blue eyes". Then if she didn't turn away I could have kissed her right there, or if she did turn away at least it's moved the interaction up past just "hanging out".
I have my doubts on how far you could have escalated with her mom with her. Not sure if they were sharing the room together or how their relationship is. For most the mom or other family members appearing would have made it hard to stick to the plan. You went far ahead than most would have considering the mom so nothing to feel bad about. I was surprised how instead of being downbeat when the mon appeared you went ahead to work to charm the Mom.
Good luck with the photos. I once had a girl that was in facebook and had gone cold. After seeing photos with another girl she began to text and wanted to meet up with me. Even otherwise I feel having these photos would help if you need to use them to show value. If I find the articles I will send them to you.
PS. I have made the assumption that it would not be a good thing to ever explain to a woman on a date, "If I seem a bit nervous it's because I've been in one long term relationship for nearly my whole adult life and dating is still a bit new for me." However, is there a chance that expressing this vulnerability would buy me a bit more tolerance and get underneath the bitch shield?
It depends on the girl. If she went through the same recently it would connect to her. Or if she was cheated on and looking to find someone that is the opposite. In this case the girl was excited when you told her about the party so do not think it would have helped as this was not she was looking for. My suggestion is read the girl and then use the card that you feel would be more effective.
If anyone else has had issues with getting over-attached to someone they find very attractive, how do you deal with this?
Think about the experience you had with the girl that had BPD and at that time you felt that it would be hard to get someone in the same level or better. Now you can see that you are having more better options. I Use these experiences like these for my brain to understand that there are equal or better options available instead of just being focused on one girl. I also tell myself that the chance of getting a girl I am into is better if I am not just focused on her.
