How to deal with virgin pain?

[KJ Francis]

Here's a fun one... Any tips?

I met this girl on Bumble... Filipino Christian with a Jesus fish on the back of her car. We had a short first date... Prearranged two-bounce, coffee to start then drive to a nearby park for a walk around the pond. She showed up looking kind of stern. Maybe like cautious auto rejection or something that gradually softened, maybe as my attainability went up by qualifying her. She's a real sweet girl.

I went for a kiss at the end and she was pretty awkward. I kind of let it go and followed up later. She didn't like that I don't text her every day to chat. I forget exactly how I got the second date, but I felt it was dead in the water, so I showed a little honesty about my lifestyle and basically wished her well. I guess she then moved me into her lover slot, because she basically set the frame to experience kissing in case she dies without getting married. For real.

So I got her to a coffee shop near my place, went for a quick walk, and lucky me it started raining. Oh what do you know, I live right here... Hello plausible deniability. So we go inside and towel off.

This shit is fascinating. She kisses like a succubus, like inhaling my lips... Eyes fully open, looking like a little dog that freezes up when you scratch its stomach. She is so physically clingy, like will stay grabbed on to me to the point that it feels awkward to walk.

Now we hit a point where she was chasing me to come over every week. I slowed it down and took a little break, but now she's back to asking to come over every few weeks. She's chilled out on the texting thing and is in control of her emotions. I enjoy laying in bed talking with her, touching a lot. It's beauty and the beast.

This is like a multi month escalation. I'm amazed. She's comfortable being almost naked with the sheet on top and lights off, and she always asks if we can have "dry sex".

So for a few times now, I can get up to the first knuckle of my finger in her. I am making progress in the magnitude of millimeters. She's in physical pain.

Is this normal? It feels like her pussy's fused shut. I've been with some tight women, but wow. Like do you have to take it easy here or inevitably use one swift painful poke like boba tea?

 

[KJ Francis]

Oh and she's mid-30's. So maybe virgins turn to stone eventually.

 

[KJ Francis]

Still very wet

 

[ulrich]

You’re probably going direct to her pussy without stimulating her first.

Have you tried giving her an orgasm before by stimulating her clitoris?
Also use lots of lubricant.

 

[KJ Francis]

You’re probably going direct to her pussy without stimulating her first.

Have you tried giving her an orgasm before by stimulating her clitoris?
Also use lots of lubricant.

Hey, thanks ulrich. There's normally lots of touching to warm her up, almost like a thigh massage to relax her body, but yeah I'm going for it quick.

I normally don't play any music but last time did loud deep house with a subwoofer, and it really helped to put her in a trance state to cowgirl grind on me to the rhythm. She'll hold my cock sometimes but always keeps her panties on and prefers my boxers on because she's worried I'll fuck her.

She needs assurance every time that I won't (weekly churchgoer). I have done very little internal frame busting on this cause she's discovering for herself more each time this all feels pretty good...

But yeah I'm far from a clit commander. I'll for sure make this my focus with her though. Thank you. Do you think if I give her tiny little body the shakes, it'll loosen her up from the inside out? It feels like a stretchy rubber seal I need to expand, but I have zero visual information since her panties are always on.

My usual M.O. with most girls is to finger really deep and get her to need a cock inside her quick. I'll graze the clit a few times and then later during sex have an awareness of pelvic pressure, but I've had times with girls where I'm playing around and it's obviously just not hitting for her. It seems a lot of them are small and hard to find under the hood? Then I've had a couple girls with big ones I can practically jack off like a freaky little erect thing.

So my habit is to skip it and go for the more consistent interior stretch. But I will look into getting a grasp on it.

 

[Alpha13SC]

Put her on her back, you on top and let her play herself with your dick and trying herself insert it.

If it doesn t work, no worry, just let her do that to get super wet. Then put her on doggy and try the same thing. Usually, in that position, you can go deeper.

You can t really avoid pain in this situation. But you can end it fast, if you ll go all at once, not slowly. Like a bandage.

 

[KJ Francis]

Put her on her back, you on top and let her play herself with your dick and trying herself insert it.

If it doesn t work, no worry, just let her do that to get super wet. Then put her on doggy and try the same thing. Usually, in that position, you can go deeper.

You can t really avoid pain in this situation. But you can end it fast, if you ll go all at once, not slowly. Like a bandage.

Ah that's a good idea to let her insert. She's a super Christian not internally dtf on a logical level at the moment, but I may be able to get her to control my finger.

I can't feel what she's feeling and have hurt her a bit. It took a few meets to get her to accept any touch on her pussy. Last time she was happy to see if we could touch without pain.

And I didn't even think of doggy! Could try fingering... Maybe it'll position the pussy better if I get her in a back arch.

So that's the real question... You are ok to rip the bandage so to speak without injuring her? Ideally lubed and after clitoral orgasm like ulrich said.

...
Pretty unusual dynamic for me...

Her:
Just got back, that was really good, had a great time, a month away is good right

Me:
Same here. It was great. Depends how much pain. How's it feel?

Her:
Sore but just superficial, it was painful at the time.
Can we not do it next time, it hurts. I don't like pain.

Me:
Of course

Her:
Thank you
When can I come? I'll be busy on December so I have to see my schedule

 

[Alpha13SC]

Ah that's a good idea to let her insert. She's a super Christian not internally dtf on a logical level at the moment, but I may be able to get her to control my finger.

I can't feel what she's feeling and have hurt her a bit. It took a few meets to get her to accept any touch on her pussy. Last time she was happy to see if we could touch without pain.

And I didn't even think of doggy! Could try fingering... Maybe it'll position the pussy better if I get her in a back arch.

So that's the real question... You are ok to rip the bandage so to speak without injuring her? Ideally lubed and after clitoral orgasm like ulrich said.

...
Pretty unusual dynamic for me...

Her:
Just got back, that was really good, had a great time, a month away is good right

Me:
Same here. It was great. Depends how much pain. How's it feel?

Her:
Sore but just superficial, it was painful at the time.
Can we not do it next time, it hurts. I don't like pain.

Me:
Of course

Her:
Thank you
When can I come? I'll be busy on December so I have to see my schedule

What do you mean being ok to rip the bandage without hurting her?

She ll be a bit in pain the first 1-2 times. Buy she doesn t need to know how bad.

The reason of why you should let her play with your dick is to let her desire it inside herself more and more. Doggy style, every cm feels deeper than usual(it goes like that).

Also, would try to give her an oral and focusing solely on that while inserting a finger. Starting slow. Fractionate while doing it. Pace her verbally "hey, it s ok baby, calm down", "it s ok" then go and kiss her while playing with her clit.

Dark stuff which I don t recommend but tbh I m sure somebody did it - to use a numbing cream - but this is a flying idea.

 

[KJ Francis]

What do you mean being ok to rip the bandage without hurting her?

She ll be a bit in pain the first 1-2 times. Buy she doesn t need to know how bad.

The reason of why you should let her play with your dick is to let her desire it inside herself more and more. Doggy style, every cm feels deeper than usual(it goes like that).

Also, would try to give her an oral and focusing solely on that while inserting a finger. Starting slow. Fractionate while doing it. Pace her verbally "hey, it s ok baby, calm down", "it s ok" then go and kiss her while playing with her clit.

Dark stuff which I don t recommend but tbh I m sure somebody did it - to use a numbing cream - but this is a flying idea.

Like regardless of her pain level, would she be ok if I forcefully entered her with my finger? She is just as wet as any girl in her 30's I've experienced, if not more.

But I don't know much about the hymen. Like is that what bleeds? Is there any risk of injury? Is the hymen still there in non virgins?

I was with a girl last weekend who said her first time there was no blood and was accused of not being a virgin. She was with the guy for years and then realized he had a small dick when her next partner made her bleed. Then the guy freaked out thinking she was a virgin.

 

[Alpha13SC]

Like regardless of her pain level, would she be ok if I forcefully entered her with my finger? She is just as wet as any girl in her 30's I've experienced, if not more.

But I don't know much about the hymen. Like is that what bleeds? Is there any risk of injury? Is the hymen still there in non virgins?

I was with a girl last weekend who said her first time there was no blood and was accused of not being a virgin. She was with the guy for years and then realized he had a small dick when her next partner made her bleed. Then the guy freaked out thinking she was a virgin.

Not all virgins bleed from sex. The girl I m with right now didn't. A previous virgin made me full of blood. But both of them behaved the same in terms of pain(would say the girl I m rn more). And their general behaviour was the same. If you experiment it once, you ll recognize it then. That s my experience.

Yes, the hymen stretches and tears, resulting in blood. Unless your dick is sharp as a knife, there shouldn t be any injury.

As I said, she ll have pain anyway, but you can trick her by giving other stimulus like I mentioned before.

 

[KJ Francis]

Not all virgins bleed from sex. The girl I m with right now didn't. A previous virgin made me full of blood. But both of them behaved the same in terms of pain(would say the girl I m rn more). And their general behaviour was the same. If you experiment it once, you ll recognize it then. That s my experience.

Yes, the hymen stretches and tears, resulting in blood. Unless your dick is sharp as a knife, there shouldn t be any injury.

As I said, she ll have pain anyway, but you can trick her by giving other stimulus like I mentioned before.

Ok this is helpful, thank you. Basically I didn't know how seriously to take it. If this is something every woman goes through regardless and it's going to be ok in the end, maybe I can explain it to her like the bandaid metaphor. You can either micro tear or at all once, but it's gotta get done.

She might be open to numbing. Like she has to be on board with going through that right? I can see this causing big attachment. You are getting huge investment and compliance from her to break her body open, then be rewarded with pleasure.

 

[Alpha13SC]

Ok this is helpful, thank you. Basically I didn't know how seriously to take it. If this is something every woman goes through regardless and it's going to be ok in the end, maybe I can explain it to her like the bandaid metaphor. You can either micro tear or at all once, but it's gotta get done.

She might be open to numbing. Like she has to be on board with going through that right? I can see this causing big attachment. You are getting huge investment and compliance from her to break her body open, then be rewarded with pleasure.

The numbing cream idea was just for the sake of discussion, I would not take that into discussion. But I m sure somebody in this world did it.

Everytime I did was when we were into position of doing it then I did it without announcing them I ll go full in. Sex was just expected but they didn t know how and when it will be the moment.

I had only one girl, 9y ago, told me she want to do it with me first time and didn t showed too many signs of pain. Now thinking about it, was kind of too easy and almost no pain. The math ain't mathing.

What I would do is to get them crazy wet, giving another stimulus, kisses, breast, clit, them touching my dick, putting it into position, and when they re very aroused physically and mentally, go full in.

 

[KJ Francis]

The numbing cream idea was just for the sake of discussion, I would not take that into discussion. But I m sure somebody in this world did it.

Everytime I did was when we were into position of doing it then I did it without announcing them I ll go full in. Sex was just expected but they didn t know how and when it will be the moment.

I had only one girl, 9y ago, told me she want to do it with me first time and didn t showed too many signs of pain. Now thinking about it, was kind of too easy and almost no pain. The math ain't mathing.

What I would do is to get them crazy wet, giving another stimulus, kisses, breast, clit, them touching my dick, putting it into position, and when they re very aroused physically and mentally, go full in.

Thanks man. Sounds like she's not some odd case and it'll be ok. She's a nurse so I thought maybe cream wouldn't be so foreign an idea to her.

Sounds like she needs a prescription for some clit play.

Maybe I'll learn oral on her actually. Never really seemed appealing but it's a clean time to give it a shot.

I am a gift to women.

 

[SteelbookCollector]

Oh and she's mid-30's. So maybe virgins turn to stone eventually.

a woman that is a virgin at 35? was she saving it for marriage?

 

[Lover]

How is her breathing and muscle tension when you try to enter her?

It helps with good amount of foreplay to turn her on and then remind her of breathing and relaxing once you want to enter her. You want to make her relax completely, and the psychological comfort is important.

And if this still doesn't work, then she should see her physician

Vaginismus

Find out about vaginismus, which is when the vagina suddenly tightens up when you try to put something into it. Find out about possible causes and treatments.

www.nhs.uk

 

[KJ Francis]

a woman that is a virgin at 35? was she saving it for marriage?

Jesus fish on the back of her car... Christian with ethnic church group same as social circle.

Hadn't heard the word "fornication" in a while

 

[KJ Francis]

How is her breathing and muscle tension when you try to enter her?

It helps with good amount of foreplay to turn her on and then remind her of breathing and relaxing once you want to enter her. You want to make her relax completely, and the psychological comfort is important.

And if this still doesn't work, then she should see her physician

Vaginismus

Find out about vaginismus, which is when the vagina suddenly tightens up when you try to put something into it. Find out about possible causes and treatments.

www.nhs.uk

I will pay close attention next time, thanks! It doesn't seem like she tightens up on me down there... Just like she's in pain as it stretches. It's hard to tell how bad... She's a little girl despite her age.

Psych factor is huge... We only got to fingering within the last few times. The first time making out, her lips were surprisingly very relaxed, but she was clinging to me with both hands almost like she had no idea what was going to happen.

She is so much more chill now. It's been a very cool experience to watch her discover this.