That's a lot of useful advice. Thank you. I have had a date or two that felt like an interview, and I knew that they weren't going well, but didn't know how to change their course. I read Chase's article about it and I know that the point is to get to know her (by deep diving) without making it feel like work or an interview etc. So you inject playfulness into it whenever it gets heavy. But, do you have any hints on how to come up with these playful comments in real time? I'm kind of slow at it. Anyway, that's why, nowadays, I start with getting some food together because that naturally slows the conversation. I'm definitely going to focus exclusively on the conversational aspect on my next date (my schedule's getting packed haha); I should get to know her while making her laugh.
Practice. And realizing that your delivery means far more than what you say most of the time. Imagine someone hilarious like Will Ferrell and how he could say literally anything and make most people laugh.
Here is a video that I think is an excellent example to demonstrate the concept of just how far you can stretch having no material if your delivery is on point
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8S0FDjFBj8o
I wish I could give better advice on humor, its one of the few things I've always had naturally so I've never had to break it down and analyze it the way I have other pieces of the game.
So, if I have poor logistics then, what exactly am I supposed to do when I pull her to the second bar? Back when I did drink dates, I had one in which the woman wasn't warm to the idea of the second bar, but I managed to get her there due to persistence. Then, in the second bar, she seemed really unhappy and eventually said that we should leave. This happened even though she seemed fine in the first bar and even told me some intimate details about herself throughout the date. On another date in the same sequence of bars, she easily came to the second bar because I sold the bar well, but, when we got there, she didn't seem comfortable with any of my physical touch and the date petered out. One more time I asked for the second bar even though logistics were good and she was ready after the first one...never again! These were all approx. 3 hour dates spent in bars just talking, with no food to slow down the conversation. It was pretty exhausting, I felt. But, anyway, what am I supposed to do once we get to the second bar if the logistics are no good? Or, in that case, is it better to reach a high point in the first bar and then end the date soon after?
There are a lot of different frameworks to look at seduction through, but I think a simple way we can examine the topic for your purposes is by breaking it into three categories.
1) Fundamentals -- how attractive are you walking around in your everyday life. If someone saw you at the store, or lounging around in a bar, how attracted to you are they.
2) Logistics -- how convenient is meeting girls, going on dates with them, and pulling them back to your place for sex. What is your logistical gameplan for moving girls somewhere and sleeping with them?
3) Techniques/Skills -- What are you doing to approach girls? What are you doing to interact with girls once you've approached? How are you overcoming objections and closing the deal?
To be successful at seduction you need to achieve at least a certain MINIMUM standard at all of these things.You started this thread asking about fundamentals, which as we have discussed already are not your main problem, so let's disregard those for now (Although you should certainly keep improving them as best you can). In my last post I gave you some advice on some of the techniques to work on and some to avoid, so lets focus on logistics now.
We need to have a logistical gameplan going into every date. One of the many benefits of scheduling dates via online dating as opposed to trying to pick girls up in the wild is you do not need to come up with logistics on the fly. Everything you do can and in fact SHOULD be pre-planned. Go into the date with a very clear gameplan of where you are going to take a girl. Have a plan A and a Plan B prepared.
I don't know your setup, so I can't plan this for you, but I can share some general concepts as well as what I've done that's been effective. For me my logistics look like:
1) Have girl meet me outside my apartment which is centrally located and nearby almost everything in the metro area, and also happens to have street parking that almost always has spots
2) Walk to cool bar a few blocks away, of which there are many
3) Get the girl to agree to a change of scenery during a high point in the interaction
4) Pull girl back to my place where I live by myself and have the very first unit in the building when you walk in the door for escalation and sex
So, as you can probably see, my logistics are absolutely killer. This is not due to random chance; I specifically looked for a place that was centrally located and within walking distance to bars when I was apartment shopping. I pull girls back to my place on literally 90%+ of my dates these days, and a huge part of the reason I'm able to do that is all I need to do is walk them 3 blocks down the street and straight into my apartment. Thus my first suggestion to you would be this; get your life orientated in a way that gives you dynamite logistics for meeting girls, going on dates, and bringing them back to your place. If getting home involves a 30 minute train ride you are going to find it INFINITELY more difficult to get laid on a consistent basis, and you realistically might have to rule out getting sex on the first date until you get to a much more advanced level.
I recognize that if you are locked into a lease/have roommates/live with family/whatever the case may be its easier said then done to change all of that, so lets work with what we have.
Here is what I used when I was living with my parents and had horrible logistics:
1) Meet at a bar I had pre-scouted for a good conversation spot
2) Get girl to agree to move to another bar
3) Walk to another bar that was a much more intimate and night-lifey setting, and had couches set up in an area where you could sit and order cocktails
4) Grab a kiss and do some minor physical escalation
5) Weather permitting, take a walk to somewhere like a park or my car to attempt whatever escalation I could
6) Try to have a girl over on subsequent dates when my parents were out of town or when I could invite myself over so that I could escalate to sex
I didn't get sex on the first date ever using this method, but I stole plenty of kisses and got comfortable moving girls around. Eventually, as my game got good enough, I did get a few lays on the 2nd and 3rd dates and ended up taking a girl as my girlfriend
