How to DUMP girl when ex is in picture

[Tramp]

So that girl I was dating, turns out her ex is still in the picture. I need help on how to handle this.

Here's the facts:
- Her ex, her, and I have been friends since jr high. We're all 20.
- They lost their virginity to each other in 8th grade, behind my back, both knowing that I had a crush on her.
- They dated for 3 years, fell in deep love and all that shit.
- He cheated on her last year. While housesitting her place, he snorted some coke and banged out her ugly friend.
- When her and I first started dating a couple months ago, multi-orgasmic sex included, she told me she didn't really talk to him anymore and that he was a lame person.
- A few weeks ago, I found out they still texted (I found out because she told me in passing, like she didn't think it was a big deal, despite telling me a month earlier she didn't really talk to him). I didn't think much of it.
- Well, they hung out today to grab food, and she was happy about it. Granted, her little sister was with them, but I don't think that particularly changes things. I wasn't invited, but she texted me telling me that they were hanging out, and the texting conversation overall had no purpose.
- He goes to school 4-5 hours away from where she and I are at. Idk if this changes anything.


I read Chase's article on how to handle it when the ex is in the picture, but I wanted to ask for help anyways since I am inexperienced and don't want to blindly follow advice when I don't completely know what I am doing.

1. Does this sound like a bad situation/set-up to continue forward with? I have given her the best orgasms of her life (her words), and pretty much did everything as I should have to keep this girl roped, but if she's still hanging with this guy, I'm guessing that it's just not enough. I really dig this girl, so I don't want to see this situation through rose-colored glasses, I could use a second opinion.

2. If this sounds like a situation I can't beat, I should just break it off with her. So how do I do that? What do I say? I read Chase's article on how to break things off, but it didn't mention how to break it off when she does something wrong.



Sorry to sound "woe is me," I'm just still racking up experience and I guess I am a bit jolted by how this one turned out. Thanks for your help everyone!

 

[Tramp]

For the record, I think talking to her about it and discussing my issue with her talking to him is a stupid idea. But let me know if I'm wrong about that, or if there are other options I am missing. When emotions run high it's easy to get blindsided, so I'm trying to be logical here.

 

[Tramp]

Guys, some help would be nice, I'm supposed to see her tomorrow and I don't know what to do.

 

[Tramp]

Nvm fuck it. I'll just wing it.

 

[Maxxz]

What to do is easy? Move on and next this girl.

Why is she telling you she's seeing her ex other than her wanting to toy with your mind?

Look I don't know what kind of emotions you have for this girl, but whatever it is my advice will be to move on or let her play on your own turf. Meaning don't get too invested.

 

[Tramp]

I can do that, i guess I'm worried I'm pulling the plug prematurely. I was thinking about talking it out like Chase mentions here https://www.girlschase.com/content/dale- ... ece-advice but I'm willing to break it off with her if that's what is best. I guess I'm just looking for what my options are.

 

[Maxxz]

Your options are actually quiet easy here. Most guys think things over too much in their head, I used to be like that. You worrying about pulling the plug too early proves that.

You have to be willing to let this girl go, like I said whatever emotions you're feeling is just that, emotions caused by her to fuck with your head.

If you wanna pursue this thing with her, my advice like before is don't be too invested. If you see her tomorrow let her know in a non-accusatory or non judgmental fashion you don't really care much about her still going back to her ex. You've got boundaries, you like her but won't pull heaven and earth to stick around if she'll jam that stuff in your face.

 

[Tramp]

@Maxxz I don't think I'm going to be able to not be too invested, so then I'm going to break things off and move on, but still give her the option to change things. Does that sound like an ok move? Basically telling her "Look I thought we had something special and amazing, but I can't continue this as long as these conditions aren't being met. If you change your mind, call me. If not, cool. Later." How does that sound?


And thanks for your help man, I really appreciate it.

 

[Maxxz]

Pretty much. But I won't use the "special" or "Amazing" line. I'll be more like "I thought we had something cool and great going here?" And you don't think her ex in the picture advances moving forward with her. You let her know you're willing to bail, in a chill non-judgmental way.

The key here is to let her know you've got options without stating it. Boundaries you're willing to set without giving her control. If she bites great, if she whines and says blah, blah, blah I still have feelings for the ex you bail and cut all contact. She'll get the message.

Good luck man. Over and out.