How to get a girl to stop playing hard to get in this scenario

[DarkKnight]

Hey guys. So I am dealing with a girl I regularly encounter who clearly likes me, but also plays hard to get. This is in a shop where I frequent, I noticed her vibes towards me but each time I am paying for stuff with her she acts overly formal, basically goes super aloof, despite this in the distance I see her nonverbal involuntary cues or how she is extra eager to listen in on my conversations. Anyway just trust me she likes me. The other girls who work at the same place seek rapport with me and are easy going in general. I suspect she is LSE and in fact very attracted.

And yes I understand the tech of dealing with hard to get girls, Chase wrote an excellent article here:

"Why Girls Play Hard to Get (PLUS How to Get Them)"​

But the problem in my scenario is that this girl is putting up walls near other employees or customers which severely limits my options because I cannot do overt moves when she is making it difficult for me, this is a shop I regularly frequent. Hard to use verbal tech to create scarcity or whatnot when there are always people around who are definitely paying attention.

Now let me be clear, I am not hyper focused on her or anything, but I have encountered this scenario in multiple venues. Basically I am asking you guys for a magic pill to make snap girls out of hard to get mode in contrived environments because it offends my sense of productivity.

For some reason this scenario happens with girls who are actually quite hot but also low self esteem, it is very hard to get them out of this mode. In the future I will encounter this again, so I hope for some suave moves from you guys.

I could also you know, just let this go. But I know I will encounter this again and again and again.

 

[johndoe]

In my experience, the girls who I perceive as playing hard to get are just not interested. They may be attracted, but they usually are not keen on moving things forward (e.g. either they are attached, I am attached, or some other extenuating circumstance).

I usually try to escalate once or twice. If they don't bite, I'll move on.

 

[DarkKnight]

In my experience, the girls who I perceive as playing hard to get are just not interested. They may be attracted, but they usually are not keen on moving things forward (e.g. either they are attached, I am attached, or some other extenuating circumstance).

No, sometimes girls autoreject themselves regardless of being attached yes or no. And the issue here is that I cannot escalate as the girl or similar girls are putting up walls in already contrived places. Basically exacerbating the social control. But that this automatically means she is already attached is not true. Girls like this have opened up and chased me hard after their first hurdle but unfortunately sometimes it takes months and in some rare cases years.

Also girls who are in relationships are easier with flirting because of the attention. These types freeze up but you sense their interest simmering.

 

[johndoe]

No, sometimes girls autoreject themselves regardless of being attached yes or no. And the issue here is that I cannot escalate as the girl or similar girls are putting up walls in already contrived places. Basically exacerbating the social control. But that this automatically means she is already attached is not true. Girls like this have opened up and chased me hard after their first hurdle but unfortunately sometimes it takes months and in some rare cases years.

Also girls who are in relationships are easier with flirting because of the attention. These types freeze up but you sense their interest simmering.

Yes, this doesn't mean they are automatically attached. But girls are very socially aware, and more often than not, if the walls they put up feel like a dead end, it usually is meant to be.

There are girls who are really socially inept and do these things to guys they like, but girls like that are extremely rare.

Yes, there are girls who put up "walls" so that they don't seem easy. But if they are interested, it is not difficult with a bit of cheeky persistence to get them to open up. Sometimes, nothing you do will work, because they are just not interested! Whether they are attracted to you doesn't matter, because they aren't willing to come along for the ride.

 

[DarkKnight]

Yes, there are girls who put up "walls" so that they don't seem easy. But if they are interested, it is not difficult with a bit of cheeky persistence to get them to open up. Sometimes, nothing you do will work, because they are just not interested! Whether they are attracted to you doesn't matter, because they aren't willing to come along for the ride.

alright , I did not do anything to really escalate just yet. The girl just went auto-aloof without me even conveying interest aside from basic groceries, she is reacting to my vibe/my presence not to my escalation. Keeps looking at me when I am involved with others blah blah. You know the deal.

So lets just stick by my original question instead of presuming these girls are attached or by default not interested, because I have gotten such girls unfortunately it took some time for them to recalibrate.

The question is not what is she thinking, the question is, how do you get a girl to snap out of hard to get behavior in an environment which is already difficult. So lets not deviate from that, right now.

 

[Chase]

@DarkKnight,

If you have rapport with the other girls, just involve them in the conspiracy to get the girl you want on a date.

DK: “Hey, so what’s the deal with Linda? I feel like she’s always looking my way, but is she shy? Is she in a relationship or something maybe?”​

​

Girl: “Actually she likes you but she’s really shy, blah blah…”​

You could even take a page from Ovid’s book and ask her to wait for the right time then talk you up to the girl:

How to Pick Up Girls in Ancient Rome (According to Ovid)

Ovid’s Ars Amatoria is filled with tips on seducing women. While many are timeless, others give a unique look into how pickup worked in ancient Rome. I finally got around to reading Ovid’s Ar Amatoria Book 1 – his instruction manual on picking up girls. It’s a fun read, with a number of...

www.girlschase.com

Even if she ends up being in an LTR or something, the other girl is likely to tell her, “You know, Linda, DarkKnight was asking about you…” which will either encourage her to open some bigger escalation windows for you or else cool her off completely. Either way is good for you — either way she quits playing games.

Chase

 

[johndoe]

alright , I did not do anything to really escalate just yet. The girl just went auto-aloof without me even conveying interest aside from basic groceries, she is reacting to my vibe/my presence not to my escalation. Keeps looking at me when I am involved with others blah blah. You know the deal.

So lets just stick by my original question instead of presuming these girls are attached or by default not interested, because I have gotten such girls unfortunately it took some time for them to recalibrate.

The question is not what is she thinking, the question is, how do you get a girl to snap out of hard to get behavior in an environment which is already difficult. So lets not deviate from that, right now.

Just catch her alone and talk to her brother. Or ask her to grab a coffee with you. That will give you all the answers you need.

 

[DarkKnight]

@Chase BEAUTIFUL. I will use this

 

[TomInHo]

@DarkKnight I've noticed a trend and I hope you can be open to criticism, but I feel you play things way to safe. You work a lot on your fundamentals which is good but you're way too entitled and think women should do all the heavy lifting for you

For example in this situation you are complaining this girl is playing hard to get but apparently you never even asked her out. Just been vibing and using your presence

alright , I did not do anything to really escalate just yet. The girl just went auto-aloof without me even conveying interest aside from basic groceries, she is reacting to my vibe/my presence not to my escalation. Keeps looking at me when I am involved with others blah blah. You know the deal.

I mean what does that even mean? How could a girl be playing hard to get if you never even attempted to move things forward... Do you expect her to beg you to ask her out? Do you need her to give windows that are painfully obvious before you have the balls to make a move?

Also you seem to be very emotional when a girl gives you any resistance at all... the vibe is "Oh I'm so sexy, how dare she resist me? Doesn't she know I'm DK" just like this in your other post about AI's

After class I start talking to her and deep diving her, other girls try to talk to me but I lock her in. So we get a bit of a convo and I ask her age (she doesnt ask mine back.. which I consider a red flag), after some talk I ask her name, she doesnt ask mine back and that is definitely a red flag after showing so much interest, I take it as she doesnt want continuation but I remain in state I remain calm and cool. Anyway convo fizzles out she tells me she has to leave and I tell her alright bye, meanwhile I scan my mind "was I too attainable?" "Was I too direct" but I know that I was quite smooth, not perfect but well enough. Anyway from the few details she told me I look at her instagram and I see some boyfriend who honestly not even being jealous, looks like a total chump. Not even near me in value. So I kind of feel blueballed and I regret not talking to the other girls or especially the very hot bombshell. Reason for this was not wanting to piss off my target, because again I have a whole legion of broads who are angry with me and have gone into autorejection. Next time I see this girl she will get very short answer I can tell you that, I can really turn annoyed with these girls. Now the new goal will be to absolutely push her into autorejection because I am annoyed this took my time for nothing. Entire fucking hour which I could have focused on the other hotter girl. Never mind that after that class a new girl came up , but still

Too worried about being cool and smooth and not really focused on the girl. You might think her BF is a chump but apparently that chump knows something that you don't... it actually might not be a bad idea to ask him out for a beer and find out how they got together because you might learn something

Because my guy resistance is not rejection, it's merely feedback. And the more you put yourself and out there while taking risks, the better you will get at moving things forward

Its okay to be imperfect and akward sometimes and in fact the better your fundies are those things make you seem more real and attainable to the girl. And no matter how much you improve your fundies, resistance and rejection will always be a part of the game. And I personally feel you are scared to get rejected

Which is ironic because the better your fundies get the more girls get scared about getting rejected by YOU!

 

[DarkKnight]

've noticed a trend and I hope you can be open to criticism, but I feel you play things way to safe. You work a lot on your fundamentals which is good but you're way too entitled and think women should do all the heavy lifting for you

No, you are totally off in this one.

I mean what does that even mean? How could a girl be playing hard to get if you never even attempted to move things forward... Do you expect her to beg you to ask her out? Do you need her to give windows that are painfully obvious before you have the balls to make a move?

Dude cut the crap with questioning my "BALLS", This is not open for criticism this is trying to judge and frame. I am talking about a girl who is acting super aloof (did you even read?) when there are people around who are observing us and making things very difficult, in other words no window at all. Has nothing to do with fear or whatever, it is obvious that if I make a move there it will immediately blow up due to the social pressure she will feel instead of giving me something to work with. She fucking works there, different than cold approach, different than transit, different than clubbing.

Too worried about being cool and smooth and not really focused on the girl. You might think her BF is a chump but apparently that chump knows something that you don't... it actually might not be a bad idea to ask him out for a beer and find out how they got together because you might learn something

Or the chump was in the right place at the right time during highshool or something, ever think about that?

Its okay to be imperfect and akward sometimes and in fact the better your fundies are those things make you seem more real and attainable to the girl. And no matter how much you improve your fundies, resistance and rejection will always be a part of the game. And I personally feel you are scared to get rejected

Yeah and I feel you are being a douche and totally off. If you followed the chat a bit you would have seen enough about me making moves or whatnot, but if this is the intuition you have from what I am posting here you probably need to speed up on some knowledge before making judgement calls.

Here is the thing, you read my previous post, where I admit I slipped up that night, and this time without considering the info I wrote above you made an automatic reply. That is my intuition.

Anyway Chase has already helped me in a suave way. (why did he not go your route and question my balls?) I really don't appreciate this post. I asked for tactics, I got them, but I have ZERO interest in qualifying myself to a guy who is extremely off. Jesus Christ someone reading your post would genuinely think I am some incel or whatever.

Anyway this post had ended in a good note, this adds zero value. Your comment is not even about this post, it is about the previous one. Your quoting the previous post I made supports this.

 

[TomInHo]

No, you are totally off in this one.

No... I'm not off

If everyone sees it except you then you are living in delusion. I just hurt your ego and self image so you disregard any criticism. But it's that very ego that is stunting your growth and game

Dude cut the crap with questioning my "BALLS", This is not open for criticism this is trying to judge and frame.

Yes I'm questioning your "BALLS" because you're always protecting them. Every post I see from you is posturing about how amazing you are and yet not getting the results you want

Gotta ask yourself if you really are so amazing then why are you still having issues? No one is perfect G and its okay to be vulnerable at times

I am talking about a girl who is acting super aloof (did you even read?) when there are people around who are observing us and making things very difficult, in other words no window at all. Has nothing to do with fear or whatever, it is obvious that if I make a move there it will immediately blow up due to the social pressure she will feel instead of giving me something to work with.

You know the best way to find out if a girl is really aloof? Move shit forward

I can't tell you how many girls I've laid that were awkward or aloof when talking to them, but I just knew they were down and asked for compliance anyway. You don't need women to be all over you to fuck them ya know and every seduction is not going to be smooth

Or the chump was in the right place at the right time during highshool or something, ever think about that?

Yet you still can't imagine he did something right. Didn't you say you have legions of women that auto-rejected and hate your guts? Weren't you in the right place at the right time then? So why couldn't you capitalize on them?

Oh that's right.. it's because you're too beautiful and your game was so solid... that's why it didn't work out with them

Also weren't there other men in that girls life when got her BF... why did she pick HIM?

Yeah and I feel you are being a douche and totally off. If you followed the chat a bit you would have seen enough about me making moves or whatnot, but if this is the intuition you have from what I am posting here you probably need to speed up on some knowledge before making judgement calls.

Just calling it how I see it

Here is the thing, you read my previous post, where I admit I slipped up that night, and this time without considering the info I wrote above you made an automatic reply. That is my intuition.

No... I thought things through

Anyway Chase has already helped me in a suave way. I really don't appreciate this post. I asked for tactics, I got them, but I have ZERO interest in qualifying myself to a guy who is extremely off. Jesus Christ someone reading your post would genuinely think I am some incel or whatever.

Of course you don't appreciate this post, you hate criticism and rejection but love appearing smooth and in control

Anyway this post had ended in a good note, this adds zero value

I beg to differ but again truth hurts and you have to ask yourself if I am totally off why do you even care what I think? I'm just some random dude on the internet

 

[DarkKnight]

you have to ask yourself if I am totally off why do you even care what I think?

Because I was already helped and you come barging in with drivel. Anyway think whatever you like dude, I have zero interest in qualifying to you. Didn't even read your last post fully after I saw how off the first one was. You are not hurting anyone, just wasting energy . Good night to you

 

[Skills]

This when ww5 fast @DarkKnight @TomInHo dont think he meant to insult you his delivery style similar to mine straight foward, anyways It could be this: https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/the-fake-negative-approach-invite.23631/

Or there are a segment of women that attention whore or shit test with the beauty cause they know forward move wont happen... imagine a dude picking up a fight in front of a bouncer/cop cause he knows the dude will not throw a punch....

Or a taken women heavely flirting to then say at moment of truth "i am taken".... againg nothing changes you still have to make moves preferably indirectly to gauge reactions...

This good fundies good fundamentsls auto rejection talks remind me of nosexnovalidation forgot his name in this forum the ai dude....

 

[DarkKnight]

Alright guys lets end the flame war, I actually like TomInHo[] (generally,not right now lol). But I think I got insulted most by the scared of rejection thing, which I am definitely not. Still obviously sucks when it happens though (I mean rejection). But again I have zero interest in flame warring or qualifying and have already been helped by Chase. So that entire followup is redundant. It is more about the previous post than this one. Perhaps also a bit of posturing, I do not know, nor care. Big waste of energy.

@Skills things need to be said straight but it should also be true. Scared of rejection is not me, people have even sucked up to me saying they "admire my courage" whatever the fuck that means. Being framed as a pussy is not exactly constructive.