How to get over wanting to 'own' a girl

[NaturallySmooth]

Hey i've been struggling with this a bit lately. There's a really cute girl who is into me, but I can only see her every month or so. When i do it's obviously a great time and she still texts/calls me almost every day and I know that she is super into me.

The problem is that when she stops texting or calling for a bit I feel threatened. I don't usually text/call her first and we are not going out or anything. I know that I can never 'own' a girl or control all her movements, but I still always want to. I want to know that she will always be into me and I know that i sometimes talk to her too much because of this.

How do I get over this feeling of trying to control girls? Once again i'm aware that she has her own life and I have mine, but it is difficult to acknowledge that and stop being possessive

 

[Biz]

Why do you want to "own" her? When she isn't talking to you are you afraid that she is talking to some other dude, will sleep with some other dude, and eventually stop talking to you, because of some other dude? Cause if that is the case then you need to remember there are always more girls, and there is always a better girl. If you do everything this site describes, she won't want to leave you. But worrying about her and who/what she is doing is a good way to put yourself in a needy state of mind. And then your fears will come true.

On another note. Are you continuing to try and meet other girls, or is she your only focus? Are you happy only seeing her once a month? Meeting more girls, and taking them out will help your desire to "own" her.

 

[trashKENNUT]

NaturallySmooth,

How do I get over this feeling of trying to control girls? Once again i'm aware that she has her own life and I have mine, but it is difficult to acknowledge that and stop being possessive

Yea, i have been there. It is good to stop in your tracks and say to yourself that you will never "own" a girl. Likewise, gaining experience by dating more women lessens that feeling.

IF you have the opportunity, Check out Chase past article. "It's All a Game".

Zac

 

[NaturallySmooth]

Yeah i've been going after other girls, but I should try and do this more actively. I'm not concerned about her sleeping/seeing other guys. It's more of a thing where I want her the same level of attraction to me.

Also thanks for that article link, I'll check it out soon!

 

[PinotNoir]

Yes, I've been there too when I was even less experienced than I am now.

Here are some articles that I think you need to read:

In the case of a relationship you do this by saying:

• I can't control this person
• I can't control whether she feels attraction for another man
• I can't control the person that she is
• Essentially, I can't forever control the outcome of this relationship

By being honest with yourself and each other you acknowledge the risks and variables inherent in the complex system of your relationship.

This puts it on a much more sustainable path because you siphon all of that previously felt fear out.

https://www.girlschase.com/content/scare-tactics-and-illusion-control-life-and-relationships
https://www.girlschase.com/content/are-we-just-friends-does-she-me-back-or-not
https://www.girlschase.com/content/keeping-your-cool-dont-chase-women
https://www.girlschase.com/content/don’t-get-too-attached-girl-sale
https://www.girlschase.com/content/cant-stop-thinking-about-her-heres-why-you-need-meet-more-girls

But, you must realize that you cannot control her. It is her decision to kiss or have sex with other guys. And if that it is her decision, then you can make the decision to date and make love to other women, as you should. And if she does have sex with another guy, then that just shows her true character and shows that you are better off without her.

When you haven't dated that much and you're only dating one girl, then I think it's a very natural tendency for men to get attached and controlling. I know that I definitely felt it, and I wouldn't consider myself a sexist guy that tries and own women. It's a natural feeling because you think that this is the only chance and that this is the greatest woman available. But, it is not the truth. If it ends, there are millions of women just as great and even greater that you can date and make love to and form a relationship with.

There's also a great article by Ricardus on this, but I couldn't find it.