How To Go 100% Monk Mode?

[Troy]

I've taken the Hexaco Personality Score and one of my biggest strengths is consciousness. I score an at 92.25% whereas the average human being scores at 42.76%. My scores were as follows:

Organization 100%
Diligence 100%
Perfectionism 69%
Prudence 100%

However here is the flip side to this. I also score high in some areas of emotionality:

Fear 92%
Anxiety 89%

My extremely high level of consciousness usually overrides my fear and anxiety. As a matter of fact, I fall in the top 10% of humans when it comes to consciousness and other traits which are not relevant to this post so I will skip them.

Usually I am able to work 12-16 hours on a Saturday and Sunday. However the world is starting to open back up. (Now this is going to be a very controvertial topic and I dont want to spark any drama or anything).

But here goes...

I have been somewhat enjoying the lockdowns. Why? Because I dont have to sit in my room working on a Saturday night while I know there is a massive street party going on down the road with over 500 women young attending. So with the lockdown I dont have the social pressures STARING ME DEAD in the face.

Its easier to relax on a Saturday night knowing (or think) that

"Hey I aint the only person on lockdown. There are no parties or events tonight in the entire country. Ahh let me relax and go read a book/focus on getting clients. Let me go focus on my high income skills. Even if women are still having sex with their boyfriends at home, at least its not in my face as much."

Thats basically how I have thought of this pandemic. This has been the greatest opportunity I could have received to level up my skills with less pressure from the outside world. I know this is a very contravertial topic... because well men on here want to get laid. And so it may sound counterintuitive to the agenda here.

I suffer from FOMO. As you can see I have high fear and anxiety in my personality. As COVID regulations are dropping off, events and places will begin to open again soon. There is one major problem though. During COVID there was massive inflation in my country and salaries have not kept up with that. The cost of food has risen by 40% and transportation by 50%. Thats just the basics which is putting an even greater strain on my finances as pay has not increased.

How This Affects How I See Dating​

The job market in my country is very weak. The value of my currency is going to trash. And so I am working like a mad man to get my life in order. The reality is I should not be dating right now. You guys saw my post a few weeks back with that girl. I honestly am not in a place mentally to be dealing with any woman who may start playing games with my head.

This is how I view dating at the moment.

...................................................................................................

Ok I got $500 in my pocket (for example)

Do I spend that $500 and take go on 25 dates with women? ($20 per date. So basically transport and extremely cheap food, condoms)

Or do I take that $500 and invest it financial coaching, books on personal development, tools e.t.c.? So I can level up faster? Let me give an example. There was one time I had the last $300 to my name. And in the moment I had to purchase this business tool called Camtasia https://www.techsmith.com/camtasia-pricing.html so I could edit videos. And Camtasia cost $299.99 for a lifetime use on 2 computers. So good deal, right? I think so.

And if I were to go blow that $300 on 15 dates, and not get laid, that alone would have driven me crazy. Here I got my last $300 and I be spending it on something that brings ZERO immediate return on my investment. Imagine I spend $300 taking women on dates and now I gotta go home and STILL MASTURBATE. WTF? I know this is extreme, but I am 100% sure there are guys on here who have gone on 10 dates back to back and not gotten laid. And so I aint got money to put into something unless I can see future potential growth.

At least if I spend that $300 on Camtasia I can have an opportunity to create more high quality videos. Which could boost my income. And then I could use that residual income to THEN go on dates.

.......................................................................................................

That mindset right there is how I think. Its a constant mental battle between spending money on dates vs my personal financial growth. I just think its backwards to put my purpose second and women first. Someone on here already pointed out to me "Troy it does not seem you have it in you to do broke dating".

And yes I 100% agree. But now that the world is opening back up, I am starting to feel that FOMO rise again. Its becoming more and more difficult to focus and find joy in what I am doing. Honestly a lot of things have become totally boring. Heck even Porn is absolute trash now a days. I need real women to date and sleep with.

But I also need to keep in mind my financial goals. So I keep fighting with myself. And I feel at this rate, I am only burning myself out. Anyone got any tips on how to go full monk mode?

How to shut off your sexual desires for a month, 3 months? How to get rid of FOMO? I honestly need this time to put my focus on that ONE thing that will propel me forward.

Troy

 

[Alpha13SC]

But I also need to keep in mind my financial goals. So I keep fighting with myself. And I feel at this rate, I am only burning myself out. Anyone got any tips on how to go full monk mode?

How to shut off your sexual desires for a month, 3 months? How to get rid of FOMO? I honestly need this time to put my focus on that ONE thing that will propel me forward.

Do you have a clear goal in mind? What are you striving for? Also a plan?

I find it very easy for a man to go on this path as long as he know what his purpose is and how he is gonna achieve it.

 

[Alpha13SC]

Imagine I spend $300 taking women on dates and now I gotta go home and STILL MASTURBATE. WTF? I know this is extreme, but I am 100% sure there are guys on here who have gone on 10 dates back to back and not gotten laid. And so I aint got money to put into something unless I can see future potential growth.

Also, this is a flawed mindset. So what if you went on 10 dates and got no lay? You're not spending money to get laid. You do it because you want. Otherwise is just an economical exchange and the process with a woman it's not about that. At least not in this way.

 

[Troy]

Also, this is a flawed mindset. So what if you went on 10 dates and got no lay? You're not spending money to get laid. You do it because you want. Otherwise is just an economical exchange and the process with a woman it's not about that. At least not in this way.

Thats not the point. The point is I have XYZ amount of dollars. And that money needs to be invested wisely so I can get a good ROI. Lets just say I spend $20 going on 100 dates.

Thats $2,000. From what I have heard, the highest closing rate of even the top seducers is 20%. Ok so out of 100 dates, I sleep with 20 women. Ok cool cool. But here is the problem.

I have to make a choice. Its either go on dates or invest in my financial future.

Now lets say I took that same $2,000 and invested in a financial coach. And over the next 6 months I earn $60,000. Cool. Now I got all my bills paid. And I have residual money to go on dates. Thats money I can afford to spend without thinking twice in my sleep.

@Alpha13SC What you took away from what I said is I am exchanging money for sex. Thats not the point of my post. No I do not intend to exchange money for sex. That is prostitution. And thats not the route I intend to go. My intentions are purely to get a return on my investment. And right now cash is too limited for me to be throwing it in the wrong places.

Thats the point of this post. How can I get rid of my sexual desires so I can spend the money in places that will grow that money. So one day, in the near future, I can go on dates without worrying if I am spending this months rent money on dating.

Thats the point.

Do you have a clear goal in mind? What are you striving for? Also a plan?

I find it very easy for a man to go on this path as long as he know what his purpose is and how he is gonna achieve it.

I have an extremely high consciousness level which means I am typically very focused on the task at hand. Trust me, not many people can work on tasks like I can and remain focused.

If I wanted to, I could work 2 days straight. Bro even machines need a break. I have high levels of discipline. But at some point my sexual urges kick in. I got to take breaks to rest and recharge. And one of those breaks would be to date beautiful women and have sex.

The problem is even when I am in my downtime, I do not have enough cash to even do that. I keep thinking "damn $20 I could put that towards XYZ goal".

 

[Alpha13SC]

Guys were right. You really have charisma on text. Too bad I don't have time to write as much. I m going straight to the point and you missed it completely.

Thats $2,000. From what I have heard, the highest closing rate of even the top seducers is 20%. Ok so out of 100 dates, I sleep with 20 women. Ok cool cool. But here is the problem.

This is highly subjective here. Usually, I take my girls in a park, with no money involved, unless gas which is on me.

I have to make a choice. Its either go on dates or invest in my financial future.

If you actually answered my question, you wouldn't write this.

@Alpha13SC What you took away from what I said is I am exchanging money for sex. Thats not the point of my post. No I do not intend to exchange money for sex. That is prostitution. And thats not the route I intend to go. My intentions are purely to get a return on my investment. And right now cash is too limited for me to be throwing it in the wrong places.

What you're trying to do here is trying to outframe me. Either you understand me and where I come from, or seek another solution. Just pointed a flaw in your mindset and that's seeing dates as a cause of spending money. Yeah, there are money involved, other times not. But the thing is that you shouldn't think this way.

Thats the point of this post. How can I get rid of my sexual desires so I can spend the money in places that will grow that money. So one day, in the near future, I can go on dates without worrying if I am spending this months rent money on dating.

Already told you. When you have a higher purpose, something big you're working on, for example a personal project, company project, gym or whatever where you invest so much energy, girls will become 2nd, 3rd place without effort.

I have an extremely high consciousness level which means I am typically very focused on the task at hand. Trust me, not many people can work on tasks like I can and remain focused.

If I wanted to, I could work 2 days straight. Bro even machines need a break. I have high levels of discipline. But at some point my sexual urges kick in. I got to take breaks to rest and recharge. And one of those breaks would be to date beautiful women and have sex.

Apparently, your discipline is just two days in a row.

The problem is even when I am in my downtime, I do not have enough cash to even do that. I keep thinking "damn $20 I could put that towards XYZ goal".

I m not trying to troll you or something. All I m saying is that if you have a strict plan on how you'll spend the 20$ or 600$ or how much you ll have, you wouldn't think about doing something else with them.

Hope you'll fix your financial life as soon as you can.

Alpha13SC

 

[Troy]

Guys were right. You really have charisma on text. Too bad I don't have time to write as much.

Is this a compliment on my text ability? Im not sure and hoping you share if it is a compliment or something else. Thanks

This is highly subjective here. Usually, I take my girls in a park, with no money involved, unless gas which is on me.

I agree its subjective. Its a subjective example. Good for you banging girls in a park. Ive done that before and its one of the best feelings. The cool breeze is blowing and my dick is going inside a womans warm pussy. In and out. Hot and cold lol.

What you're trying to do here is trying to outframe me. Either you understand me and where I come from, or seek another solution. Just pointed a flaw in your mindset and that's seeing dates as a cause of spending money. Yeah, there are money involved, other times not. But the thing is that you shouldn't think this way.

Point taken, I hear you.

Apparently, your discipline is just two days in a row.

No you missed the point here. The point is I was making is if I wanted to, I could work 2 days straight without sleeping or eating. When I am working on a project I love, get sucked into it and Im a workhorse. Im like Conor Mcgregor when I am working. Jab Jab, there is no stopping me.

The reality is I have been making an attempt to fix my financial situation for the past 4 years. In my country life is tough and opportunities are hard to find unless that person has connections.

I am starting from the rock bottom. And I do not regret the ways I have invested my money in the future. Because right now I have just about every tool I need.

See I am more discipline than most people. On my last job I went 2 years straight without calling in sick or taking one day of vacation. Meanwhile most persons in the office were calling in sick 2 days out of every month. It really takes discipline to go through the tough stuff I have gone through.

Hope you'll fix your financial life as soon as you can.

Alpha13SC

Thanks I appreciate it. Yeah the sooner I fix the finances, the sooner I wont have to ask questions like this on the boards.

 

[Will_V]

I've taken the Hexaco Personality Score and one of my biggest strengths is consciousness. I score an at 92.25% whereas the average human being scores at 42.76%. My scores were as follows:

Organization 100%
Diligence 100%
Perfectionism 69%
Prudence 100%

However here is the flip side to this. I also score high in some areas of emotionality:

Fear 92%
Anxiety 89%

My extremely high level of consciousness usually overrides my fear and anxiety. As a matter of fact, I fall in the top 10% of humans when it comes to consciousness and other traits which are not relevant to this post so I will skip them.

Usually I am able to work 12-16 hours on a Saturday and Sunday. However the world is starting to open back up. (Now this is going to be a very controvertial topic and I dont want to spark any drama or anything).

But here goes...

I have been somewhat enjoying the lockdowns. Why? Because I dont have to sit in my room working on a Saturday night while I know there is a massive street party going on down the road with over 500 women young attending. So with the lockdown I dont have the social pressures STARING ME DEAD in the face.

Its easier to relax on a Saturday night knowing (or think) that

"Hey I aint the only person on lockdown. There are no parties or events tonight in the entire country. Ahh let me relax and go read a book/focus on getting clients. Let me go focus on my high income skills. Even if women are still having sex with their boyfriends at home, at least its not in my face as much."

Thats basically how I have thought of this pandemic. This has been the greatest opportunity I could have received to level up my skills with less pressure from the outside world. I know this is a very contravertial topic... because well men on here want to get laid. And so it may sound counterintuitive to the agenda here.

I suffer from FOMO. As you can see I have high fear and anxiety in my personality. As COVID regulations are dropping off, events and places will begin to open again soon. There is one major problem though. During COVID there was massive inflation in my country and salaries have not kept up with that. The cost of food has risen by 40% and transportation by 50%. Thats just the basics which is putting an even greater strain on my finances as pay has not increased.

How This Affects How I See Dating​

The job market in my country is very weak. The value of my currency is going to trash. And so I am working like a mad man to get my life in order. The reality is I should not be dating right now. You guys saw my post a few weeks back with that girl. I honestly am not in a place mentally to be dealing with any woman who may start playing games with my head.

This is how I view dating at the moment.

...................................................................................................

Ok I got $500 in my pocket (for example)

Do I spend that $500 and take go on 25 dates with women? ($20 per date. So basically transport and extremely cheap food, condoms)

Or do I take that $500 and invest it financial coaching, books on personal development, tools e.t.c.? So I can level up faster? Let me give an example. There was one time I had the last $300 to my name. And in the moment I had to purchase this business tool called Camtasia https://www.techsmith.com/camtasia-pricing.html so I could edit videos. And Camtasia cost $299.99 for a lifetime use on 2 computers. So good deal, right? I think so.

And if I were to go blow that $300 on 15 dates, and not get laid, that alone would have driven me crazy. Here I got my last $300 and I be spending it on something that brings ZERO immediate return on my investment. Imagine I spend $300 taking women on dates and now I gotta go home and STILL MASTURBATE. WTF? I know this is extreme, but I am 100% sure there are guys on here who have gone on 10 dates back to back and not gotten laid. And so I aint got money to put into something unless I can see future potential growth.

At least if I spend that $300 on Camtasia I can have an opportunity to create more high quality videos. Which could boost my income. And then I could use that residual income to THEN go on dates.

.......................................................................................................

That mindset right there is how I think. Its a constant mental battle between spending money on dates vs my personal financial growth. I just think its backwards to put my purpose second and women first. Someone on here already pointed out to me "Troy it does not seem you have it in you to do broke dating".

And yes I 100% agree. But now that the world is opening back up, I am starting to feel that FOMO rise again. Its becoming more and more difficult to focus and find joy in what I am doing. Honestly a lot of things have become totally boring. Heck even Porn is absolute trash now a days. I need real women to date and sleep with.

But I also need to keep in mind my financial goals. So I keep fighting with myself. And I feel at this rate, I am only burning myself out. Anyone got any tips on how to go full monk mode?

How to shut off your sexual desires for a month, 3 months? How to get rid of FOMO? I honestly need this time to put my focus on that ONE thing that will propel me forward.

Troy

There's nothing wrong with going into monk mode. I did that right at the beginning of this year for a few weeks and got a bunch of stuff done.

The thing is, you must have goals, and you must complete them. It's no good going into 'monk mode' as a reflex reaction to having a problem in your life. I know people like that now (and I did it myself for a while) and the result is that everything gets rusty, your relationships suffer, and you end up feeling more desperate and disoriented than ever.

Think of monk mode as taking a lung full of air and going underwater. Each time you do it, unless you fully recover (i.e. gain some kind of success) you come back up each time more tired and rubbery, until you just end up going through the motions without having any real intentions, and probably end up either staying under (giving up on the world and living an isolated life) or throwing yourself at some lifeline that you otherwise wouldn't go near (i.e. a bad social circle or ugly women).

So what are your goals? It shouldn't take too long to make some money on the internet. I was making a chunk doing technical writing on Fiverr back when I was broke, and that's the dankest, darkest, back alley freelance website in existence. I even ended up getting a permanent client there who gave me $US160 for a 500 word article, though that's rare.

You say you are conscientious, that's great, but what is all your diligence aimed at? Perhaps you are not the sort of guy who enjoys coming up with weird, risky ideas and going for broke, so freelancing might be a good start. What is your skill set? Is it something that lends itself to online work?
...

On the topic of FOMO when going into monk mode, I have found that it's necessary to approach the tasks that I am doing with the same libido as I would otherwise direct at women. That is, I have to pursue it aggressively as an expression of myself, as a mission of mine, rather than treating it as simply work. I frame it internally as a kind of personal war against failure, a refusal to accept one thing and a striving for something else at all costs. I usually go to the gym in parallel, using the physical fatigue as a way to process my mental fatigue in a much more intuitive and satisfying way. I think of both the mental and physical exertion as me crafting something new and strong and fruitful underneath the husk of what was there before, so that even though I know some aspects (such as my social life) will be rusty when I am finished, the foundation is improved.

In that context, I often actually don't miss women for at least a while. When a man is in battle, women are simply annoying. But eventually you will take a rest from battle and want to enjoy playing around with women and having good times. That's why you have to make sure you come back with a win, a conquest, an improved situation, an excess of confidence and self esteem, so that they come flocking to see what it's all about.

So set some clear goals, find ways to start making money more quickly with less faffing about, get from the bottom rung of the ladder to the next one as fast as possible, and then going up will be easier.

 

[Troy]

There's nothing wrong with going into monk mode. I did that right at the beginning of this year for a few weeks and got a bunch of stuff done.

Thank you for understanding!

The thing is, you must have goals, and you must complete them. It's no good going into 'monk mode' as a reflex reaction to having a problem in your life. I know people like that now (and I did it myself for a while) and the result is that everything gets rusty, your relationships suffer, and you end up feeling more desperate and disoriented than ever.

Think of monk mode as taking a lung full of air and going underwater. Each time you do it, unless you fully recover (i.e. gain some kind of success) you come back up each time more tired and rubbery, until you just end up going through the motions without having any real intentions, and probably end up either staying under (giving up on the world and living an isolated life) or throwing yourself at some lifeline that you otherwise wouldn't go near (i.e. a bad social circle or ugly women).

I agree with having goals and completing them. Uhmm yes a lot of my relationships have suffered. I've lost male friends due to this. And I've also lost women by going into monk mode.

2+ years ago I thought I was about to come up from success when I had a company that was growing. Multiple business partners (some even earning 6 and 7 figures outside of our partnership), lots of systems built for success. I was working and jamming. But ultimately the project failed. The business partnership quit and I was left doing cleanup.

So to your point, I came up from under and did not have much to show for it.

So what are your goals? It shouldn't take too long to make some money on the internet. I was making a chunk doing technical writing on Fiverr back when I was broke, and that's the dankest, darkest, back alley freelance website in existence. I even ended up getting a permanent client there who gave me $US160 for a 500 word article, though that's rare.

My goal at the moment is to earn enough profit to:

get an apartment
get a car
take care of all the bills
save up some money per month (I know the exact amount)
have $1,000 left over per month to continue investing in my high income skills so I can make more
have $2,000 so I can travel here and there, go on dates. (I would aim to spend up to $30 per date. Even free if at all possible)

Yeah I am making some money online. Its just not consistent enough in the right quantities. I think Fiverr is for those who already have a good social circle outside of work. Who they can call on to get gigs. I got a Fiverr profile, but people pretty much never order there. I think the platform changed a lot when they started limiting buyer requests so the only way to get jobs now is to drive my own traffic to Fiverr. And that requires lots of trusted connections. Which I do not have. But from what I have seen, once some gigs are there and positive reviews, people may start putting in more orders.

I just dont see a way now to drive traffic to a platform as large as Fiverr. Especially to my own page little reviews.

You say you are conscientious, that's great, but what is all your diligence aimed at? Perhaps you are not the sort of guy who enjoys coming up with weird, risky ideas and going for broke, so freelancing might be a good start. What is your skill set? Is it something that lends itself to online work?

Yeah you right I aint taking no risky ideas that I have no idea is going to work. Ive got several skills:

Transcription
Video Editing
Wordpress Design
Customer Service

(I literally just got finished creating my CV website, doing photoshoots and all that fancy stuff to start branding myself. And Im about to ask all my past business partners for honest testimonials so I can get that extra credibility boost. They know me best, my work ethic etc so I think that will help.)

On the topic of FOMO when going into monk mode, I have found that it's necessary to approach the tasks that I am doing with the same libido as I would otherwise direct at women. That is, I have to pursue it aggressively as an expression of myself, as a mission of mine, rather than treating it as simply work. I frame it internally as a kind of personal war against failure, a refusal to accept one thing and a striving for something else at all costs. I usually go to the gym in parallel, using the physical fatigue as a way to process my mental fatigue in a much more intuitive and satisfying way. I think of both the mental and physical exertion as me crafting something new and strong and fruitful underneath the husk of what was there before, so that even though I know some aspects (such as my social life) will be rusty when I am finished, the foundation is improved.

In that context, I often actually don't miss women for at least a while. When a man is in battle, women are simply annoying. But eventually you will take a rest from battle and want to enjoy playing around with women and having good times. That's why you have to make sure you come back with a win, a conquest, an improved situation, an excess of confidence and self esteem, so that they come flocking to see what it's all about.

So set some clear goals, find ways to start making money more quickly with less faffing about, get from the bottom rung of the ladder to the next one as fast as possible, and then going up will be easier.

Thats interesting. Im going to try it out. I could go on and on and type more. But before I do, I will test out your idea to the best of my abilities. Thanks man!

Troy

 

[Will_V]

I got a Fiverr profile, but people pretty much never order there. I think the platform changed a lot when they started limiting buyer requests so the only way to get jobs now is to drive my own traffic to Fiverr.

Yeah I used to hit up the buyer requests constantly at the start.

The best thing is to get some jobs from friends to get some 5 star reviews. And make sure that every single job you get, no matter how crap, you over deliver and get those reviews. Reviews are everything there. Once your gig starts to float toward the top of the pile it's much easier to sort through to find the best clients.

That said Fiverr is only one avenue, and definitely not the best quality. Cold calling is a great way to find clients (at my last coworking place there was a business employing 5 people at very good professional salaries, and all their clients were cold calls). It's not as hard to do as many people think, but almost nobody does it because it seems scary.

 

[ulrich]

@Troy, you don’t need to choose between money-making and dating. You normally find a balance between the two.
Also, as you earn more money, the FOMO disappears because those 300 USD you spend in a date become smaller and smaller as you earn more money.

What I don’t get is why… if you have been working your ass off for the last two years… if you have been improving your money making abilities during the last two pandemic years… why are you still in a position where 300 USD is something that troubles you?

I lost my job at the start of the pandemic and my online business tanked… 1 year later I was back on my feet with a similar paid job than the one I had before and a couple opportunities for extra income.

There is something wrong in the way you are assigning resources and your sexual instincts are not the root of it.

 

[Skills]

@Troy, you don’t need to choose between money-making and dating. You normally find a balance between the two.
Also, as you earn more money, the FOMO disappears because those 300 USD you spend in a date become smaller and smaller as you earn more money.

What I don’t get is why… if you have been working your ass off for the last two years… if you have been improving your money making abilities during the last two pandemic years… why are you still in a position where 300 USD is something that troubles you?

I lost my job at the start of the pandemic and my online business tanked… 1 year later I was back on my feet with a similar paid job than the one I had before and a couple opportunities for extra income.

There is something wrong in the way you are assigning resources and your sexual instincts are not the root of it.

correct i never understood the break to make money stuff, is just another type of cope imho.... is like learn time management..

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www.theskillsmethod.com

 

[Troy]

Yeah I used to hit up the buyer requests constantly at the start.

Awesome!

The best thing is to get some jobs from friends to get some 5 star reviews. And make sure that every single job you get, no matter how crap, you over deliver and get those reviews. Reviews are everything there. Once your gig starts to float toward the top of the pile it's much easier to sort through to find the best clients.

That said Fiverr is only one avenue, and definitely not the best quality.

I agree reviews are everything. I see people with 3,000 reviews and I can tell at that point they even got full time staff running the business. Because aint no way 1 person is running a website design and they got 60 jobs just in the queue (all of which are due in 14 days) lol.

I will ask my friends if they got any small jobs they wanna do and try that. Cool!

That said Fiverr is only one avenue, and definitely not the best quality. Cold calling is a great way to find clients (at my last coworking place there was a business employing 5 people at very good professional salaries, and all their clients were cold calls). It's not as hard to do as many people think, but almost nobody does it because it seems scary.

I never thought of that. I will think more about this. Cool!

@Troy, you don’t need to choose between money-making and dating. You normally find a balance between the two.
Also, as you earn more money, the FOMO disappears because those 300 USD you spend in a date become smaller and smaller as you earn more money.

What I don’t get is why… if you have been working your ass off for the last two years… if you have been improving your money making abilities during the last two pandemic years… why are you still in a position where 300 USD is something that troubles you?

In late 2020 my business partners quit the business. And that caused me to crash. All the clients I had were dissolved in the business. And I ended up deep in debt. So I had to pay off that and the credit card interest was high. Basically I was too reliant on them to bring in clients. Meanwhile I handled everything else during the partnership:

marketing
website design
video creation
SOP's
e.t.c.

When they left, I got myself in debt. And then 2021 rolled around and thats when I started investing more into my high income skills. I spent a good part of 2021 doing things like:

investing in sales coaching (so I could do it myself)
investing in one time payment tools (for things like video creation, image editing, etc...)
basically going back to school and getting certified in my craft. I thought to myself if local employers dont want to hire me, it must be because I dont have a track record of working with XYZ large company to give me credibility. So I thought the best thing to do was to go back to school and get officially certified so I could stand out more in the job market.

These activities alone took up 10 months in 2021. Here we are in 2022. I've been doing gigs on and on. But nothing stable as yet. I just completed my CV website and so by around April, I will be able to spend more of my time doing the grunt work. Prospecting for clients and all the real hard work.

Im even considering spending 3 months just working for free to get testimonials. If local companies wont hire me, I will work for free in exchange for credibility.

 

[Will_V]

I agree with @uriel, if you are taking this long to get on your feet you are doing things wrong. It shouldn't take more than a month to start scraping together some money online.

Regarding balancing lots of dating and starting a business, personally I can't do it. I have a pretty obsessive mind and when I want to do something it takes over my reality. It was that way with women and it's that way with business. I find it difficult to relax or sit around chit chatting when I feel the burden of the work ahead of me on my shoulders, or if I'm truly unhappy with my circumstances.

Not saying that's good or bad, but I've learned to work with my personality. I avoid multitasking, I focus hard on something for a while and everything else goes into standby mode for that period.

Gotta figure out what approach makes it easiest for you to make progress with the least amount of whipping yourself, not gonna be the same for everyone.

But the important thing is that no matter what route you take, lack of progress is completely unacceptable. Some measurable metrics have to be improving all the time, every day.

 

[Troy]

I agree with @uriel, if you are taking this long to get on your feet you are doing things wrong. It shouldn't take more than a month to start scraping together some money online.

I understand and I wish I had it as easy as you write it. I have been doing on and off gigs online and making money. Its currently not consistent enough to be a full safety net income. And since I am making investments, 100% of my profits are going back into paying back the bank (along with their interest rates.

I dunno, maybe I need to be more patient with myself. While I have definitely made some mistakes along the way with the online marketing, I believe Ive learnt a ton of skills that will carry me through out life.

One skill I learnt for instance was I have the ability to lead. I was the front and center leader for a group of male entrepreneurs (who were already 6 and 7 figure earners themselves). They even outright told me I did a great job leading the group. But there were other unforseeable challenges that prevented those partnerships from going on.

One thing I will share is I do see most online businesses failing. Kudos to you @Will_V and all others who have managed to start online businesses and within a month be profitable. Thats commendable.

I have never done Ecommerce, but I see articles reporting a 90% failure rate within 4 months. Resource:

90% of e-commerce start-ups end in failure within the first 120 days - Internet Retailing

The vast majority of e-commerce start-ups are set to fail within their first 120 days of operation, new research has revealed.

internetretailing.net

And then I have seen other articles that most small businesses take 2-3 years to be profitable. And they dont become truly successful until 7-10 year mark.

How Long It Takes for a Small Business to Be Successful: A Year-By-Year Breakdown

Discover how long a small business takes to become successful, plus get examples of successful businesses and tips to make sure your business succeeds.

www.freshbooks.com

Im a keep going, its probably just not my moment as I had to take time to develop my skills.

Regarding balancing lots of dating and starting a business, personally I can't do it. I have a pretty obsessive mind and when I want to do something it takes over my reality.

I agree 100%

Gotta figure out what approach makes it easiest for you to make progress with the least amount of whipping yourself, not gonna be the same for everyone.

But the important thing is that no matter what route you take, lack of progress is completely unacceptable. Some measurable metrics have to be improving all the time, every day.

I agree 100%. I have taken notes and will be working to implement your advice in my next projects.

Troy