How to handle insults

[StoicMind]

Well my ex-girlfriend contacted me yesterday after about a month and a half of no communication. She's about a year and a half older than me, I was a junior in high school and she was a senior when we started dating. Then when she went to college we broke up (not for the reasons you think), but anyways I'm pretty sure she still has some kind of feelings for me this is about the second time she's contacted me after prolonged periods of not talking. So this is how the conversation went:
Her: Hi
Me: HI
Her: How are you?
Me: Great. How about you?
Her: I'm Good
Me: That's good, what have you been up to.
Her: Work, Church, and Dance. Hbu
Me: Oh you're dancing again that's cool I bet you've missed it. Anyways, mainly I've been going to the gym and doing a lot of reading, and just enjoying having graduated and stuff.
Her: Nerd.
Me:*Rolls eyes*

Ok, so that's how the conversation went. I'm not too sure why she called me a nerd the only thing I mentioned that could deem me worthy of becoming a nerd is me reading. But why would she single out that action out of everything I said. Perhaps me working out and my accomplishing something (graduation), shows me building value withing myself and she's intimidated by that idk. And while we are here did I write too much when I replied to what I've been up to. I was hoping to create opportunities for her to contribute to the conversation more. She could have replied oh yea I missed dancing blah blah blah or Oh yeah congrats on graduation, or comment on me being skinny (well how I use to be skinny), etc. Maybe I should have spread this out more throughout the conversation.

Well anyways, next year me and her will be in the same college. I'm really not interested in a relationship with this girl but I wouldn't mind fucking her. However she throws a lot of insults, kind of reminds me of Helga from Hey Arnold. How do I handle that.

 

[Estate]

Nobody knows what she meant but her but I would guess it was just some banter and you're blowing it out of proportion.

I studied Computer Science in college so we were all nerds, haha. But we had a little banter always going on when someone would break a normal convesation and start talking about video games or programming or something, we'd go "neeeeeeeerd!". It was just banter, because we all did that stuff.
If she knows you read, it's probably the same.

Like, I had a buddy last weekend, wasn't being very talkative when we met some girls. They made a comment like "You're so standoff-ish, come over here!". It was just banter and they were actually trying to include him but he took it the whole wrong way and just got weird and pouted, then 2 days later was still moaning about what they said. They meant nothing by it, infact they were bantering and trying to include him.

Ignore it and progress the conversation.

 

[Richard]

Outside of what Estate said:

Me: Oh you're dancing again that's cool I bet you've missed it. Anyways, mainly I've been going to the gym and doing a lot of reading, and just enjoying having graduated and stuff.

Please remove anyway, but, and however from your vocabulary. These words are neutralizers and can be insulting by accident.

Stoic, you did a great job opening this girl... but (insert obligatory criticism here) <--- as soon as you say but, however, anyway you just neutralized everything you said before that word.

So, in this case,

you're dancing again, that's cool, I bet you've missed it.

Anyway sounds like you're brushing all of that off.

Just a simple nuance that can help you.

 

[StoicMind]

Thanks guys, I'll omit my use of however, anyways, etc. Looking back I use them a lot and I've been meaning to stop it is a habit and I understand how it can sound condescending and dismissive. And usually I brush off insults like that, I mean I am a nerd. I just wanted to see if there was a better way of handling it, and I know with this girl there will be a lot of insults going my way as we reestablish rapport . She laughed at me rolling my eyes and then began asking me about my niece and nephew so no harm really done.

 

[bassman]

Used to have this happen to me a lot before I understood girls. She's fishing, throwing out a little bait to make sure you are still around as one of her options. Basically she wants her cake and eat it at the same time.

By replying the way you did, you gave her what she wanted. Now a days if I get one of these texts, I either don't answer at all or if I do I act very distant and disinterested. Keep her wondering. She probably does still have feelings for you, that's not unusual after a serious relationship. But that doesn't mean she wants you back. She has plenty of options she'd like to explore, but wants to make sure that you are still around in case they don't pan out or she changes her mind. Like I said, don't take the bait...

 

[StoicMind]

Used to have this happen to me a lot before I understood girls. She's fishing, throwing out a little bait to make sure you are still around as one of her options. Basically she wants her cake and eat it at the same time.

By replying the way you did, you gave her what she wanted. Now a days if I get one of these texts, I either don't answer at all or if I do I act very distant and disinterested. Keep her wondering. She probably does still have feelings for you, that's not unusual after a serious relationship. But that doesn't mean she wants you back. She has plenty of options she'd like to explore, but wants to make sure that you are still around in case they don't pan out or she changes her mind. Like I said, don't take the bait...

This use to always be my thought, I've ignored her last attempts to reestablish contact with me, but now I'll entertain it. Like I said If i could somehow find a way to fuck her I'll be happy that's all I want.