How to inject sexuality into your conversation

[Smith]

Hey guys,

Just got back from a date, but it was still hard for me to put in some sexual frames into the conversation smoothly.

So I was wondering, how and when do you guys inject sexuality into the conversation smoothly without seem forced and awkward?

Maybe it's the way I deliver it. I tried to do it in a playful way, but it still doesn't seem smooth at all and interrupt the flow of the conversation.

Any tips would be appreciated!

- Smith

 

[hillshift]

It is tricky to do this because each woman has a different threshold of what "decent" is. You have to be subtle at first and see if she picks up on it. If she responds well you know you are on the right track and can incorporate a little more into the conversation. If she doesn't pick up on it or ignores it then wait for more rapport building and then slip another subtle comment or innuendo in there. At some point you'll realize she's either too dense to pick up on the shit your putting down, is purposefully ignoring it out of uncomfortably with it, or hopefully she laughs/plays along.

I think the key is to be relaxed and comfortable enough to let an clever innuendo or comment come to mind and then have the confidence to throw it out there. Don't act embarrassed or make it awkward. I would prefer a double entendre, so if she comments on it you can smile and act like you meant for it to be interpreted the innocent way, then act like she is the one with the dirty mind! If she's smart she'll know what you're doing but if done correctly she'll think it's cute and clever.

Whether the innuendo works or not, the more you build rapport the more she should be feeling comfortable with you. I would also suggest just grabbing her hand and casually holding it in the middle of conversation just to initiate some physical contact. That way touching starts to be normal, which she will need to be comfortable with anyway.

 

[metomeya]

I found a very easy way to do this. But you have to set the frame early on when you meet the girl.

Yell something inappropriate when you first meet her. Then apologize saying you have tourrets.

Then you have the green light to say whatever as long as you make a weird face and say it really loud.

Here are a few suggestion for you to say:
"milk nipples"
"swollen penis"
"sex cake"
"ejaculating hippo"
"cock sandwich"

 

[metomeya]

Seriously, though.

I usually wait for the girl to hint at something sexual first. Then I return it at the same level.

If it go first, it is about 50/50 if she response well. And if she doesn't respond well it might be game over. The trick is to have her chase you; not the other way around.

Try showing value until she decides to chase you and make the first move herself. I find telling stories to be very effective at showing value.

 

[Smith]

It is tricky to do this because each woman has a different threshold of what "decent" is. You have to be subtle at first and see if she picks up on it. If she responds well you know you are on the right track and can incorporate a little more into the conversation. If she doesn't pick up on it or ignores it then wait for more rapport building and then slip another subtle comment or innuendo in there. At some point you'll realize she's either too dense to pick up on the shit your putting down, is purposefully ignoring it out of uncomfortably with it, or hopefully she laughs/plays along.

I think the key is to be relaxed and comfortable enough to let an clever innuendo or comment come to mind and then have the confidence to throw it out there. Don't act embarrassed or make it awkward. I would prefer a double entendre, so if she comments on it you can smile and act like you meant for it to be interpreted the innocent way, then act like she is the one with the dirty mind! If she's smart she'll know what you're doing but if done correctly she'll think it's cute and clever.

Thanks hillshift! I think this is a good strategy. I usually think too hard to come up with a clever innuendo when I'm with a girl, but when I'm with a mate, they just come up all the time haha.

Seriously, though.

I usually wait for the girl to hint at something sexual first. Then I return it at the same level.

If it go first, it is about 50/50 if she response well. And if she doesn't respond well it might be game over. The trick is to have her chase you; not the other way around.

Try showing value until she decides to chase you and make the first move herself. I find telling stories to be very effective at showing value.

Waiting for them to take things sexual is like waiting for paint to dry lol no?

That's interesting. What kinda story do u tell to show your sexual value? surely not how u bang several chicks on a wild weekend right?

 

[JDB_40k]

I'm finding the best way recently to inject sexuality into a conversation is through non-verbal communication. Like sexy eye contact, touching - like stroking her hair out of her eyes.

Or when they ask a question - something I've been experimenting with positive results - they ask "what do you do?" I'll respond in a coy way with a sly smile "all kinds of things" most of the time they say "such as?" - I playfully say "satisfy people's needs" and then I explain a little bit of my job in a neutral way.

Still experimenting with it, because I'm finding talking about sex - even the way Alek described - isn't working out.

 

[metomeya]

Waiting for them to take things sexual is like waiting for paint to dry lol no?

That's interesting. What kinda story do u tell to show your sexual value? surely not how u bang several chicks on a wild weekend right?

Not for me, maybe for you.

The best stories should have the following elements.
-show you have resources or are resourceful (but telling her has to come off very casual and not try hard)
-create emotions in her (excitement is usually the best one)
-make it so she would want to be a participant in your adventure/story (if you do the one above right, this is a given)

Usually the best stories I find are ones about traveling to exotic locations. I can show her my resourcefulness by talking about the expensive place I stayed at for free, or about my friend's tiny house that happens to be on a private beach. You get the picture. Then I talk about my adventures there to stir emotion (like when we chased after some whales on our tiny boat...yes that really did happen).

If you do it right, you should see a switch in her head go off (her eyes will light up). From there her attitude towards you should change or improve.

If you haven't traveled to some where cool (talking to anyone who is reading this), then go somewhere. Travel does so many great things for you besides just having a story to tell. Can't afford it? Then you are not resourceful. And thus not desirable. Learn to be resourceful, do something worthy of a great story, and become attractive to women. If there is a will, there is a way.

On the sexual part, I take it back, I do flirt with the girls once that trigger goes off. It just feels so natural, I guess I never really thought about it. And the more I think about it, I usually put sexual topics in my conversation by talking about sexual truths first. Like telling her, "You know how girls are, even if she likes a guy, she'll never tell him no matter how much or perverted she thinks about him." Her, "haha. ya, that's so true." Then continue with normal conversation.

Like a comedian, their stuff works because you know what they are saying is true no matter how inappropriate.

However, the trick is to not over do it. Think of it like salt and pepper. A little bit can make a bland dish taste great. But if your dish is nothing but salt and pepper...it's going to taste like shit.

From there you can touch and flirt with her in a joking manner. Like above, this part just feels so nature, it is hard for me to break it down. I'll have to give it more thought.

And, again, waiting for that switch to go off in her head is the best way to do it. In fact, if you do that, she'll make things sexual even if you don't. I can default to my introverted and shy nature that I had as a kid with some girls and this is what usually happens.

Anyway, make her chase you (just like the name of this site ).

Hit that switch and it is a done deal.

 

[JDB_40k]

On the sexual part, I take it back, I do flirt with the girls once that trigger goes off. It just feels so natural, I guess I never really thought about it. And the more I think about it, I usually put sexual topics in my conversation by talking about sexual truths first. Like telling her, "You know how girls are, even if she likes a guy, she'll never tell him no matter how much or perverted she thinks about him." Her, "haha. ya, that's so true." Then continue with normal conversation.

Hey Metomeya,

I'm really starting to get the hang of being a strong conversationalist as well as building an emotional connection. Four of the last five girls I've gone out with I've noticed their eyes light up, but when I try to turn things a bit sexy I stumble a bit. Probably a bit too direct.

I think what might work best for me is misinterpretation. For instance they will say something and I'll quip back with something like "oh kinky" or "how provocative" or any number of buzzwords that are playful.

Back to the point though, what are some other ways to bring up sexual topics like you mentioned - making it seem natural of course.

 

[metomeya]

Those are good ones. Girls always seem to like the play on words.

I think what I mostly do is tease to please, but making it sexual. And it just feels natural because everyone does it growing up (without the sexual part of course). Even if you are a shy introvert, you've done it with your family members. Just take that mindset into the date.

The more I think about it, a lot of injecting sexuality into your conversation isn't about making the girl horny, to make her think perverted thoughts (she already is ), nor to make her like you.

Instead, injecting sexuality into a conversation is to make her feel comfortable around you and trusting of you. This way she won't feel any anxiety or distrust when she is horny and/or naked around you.

And getting a girl horny isn't a great tactic to make her want to have sex with you (unless you include alcohol, already in a relationship with you, or the girl is a slut...in which case you should probably start developing higher standards). It is best to make her emotional. Meaning, make her have a lot of fun and she'll be more likely to sleep with you. ***There is one BIG exception to this, which I'll talk about at the end of this post...man I'm giving all my best stuff away here. Need to start charging you guys

Anyway, I imagine the original post was really about transitioning to sex. In my experience this is the best way to do it:
Hit the switch (by showing you are a desirable male), tease to please (build that sexual comfort), you setup logistics or wait for her to setup logistics (I've never setup logistics myself, I was just busy and no one girl seemed like enough trouble to do so), act normal, and at the end take her.

Keep in mind this can all be done in one day, but it also works over an extended period of time.

Let's break down what I haven't talked about yet.

Wait for her to setup logistics: she'll invite you to her place to watch a movie when her roommates aren't there, or ask you to fix something that isn't that hard to fix. You'll know in the back of your head why she is asking you over.

Take her at the end: Just like it sounds. I find one of the safest (just in case you misread the situation) and most fun ways is to pick her up and carry her with both arms or throw her over your shoulder. Girls love this. Then throw her down on her bed. And I hope you can figure out what to do from there.

Okay, the big exception. How to make girls so horny they have to have sex with you (without alcohol).

So this goes back to the idea that girls want sex just as much as guys do. But girls want a relationship more, thus the reason our whole sex scene is complicated. Anyway, a girl will have sexual fantasies just like guys do. If that sexual fantasy includes you, then there is a chance to make her so horny she'll break down and let you have your way with her.

The difference with the above is, there is no switch you trigger (her eyes never light up, because it is purely perverted thoughts she is having)...but you will notice things are going on in the back of her head. And she'll hint at things. Usually, she'll tell a random story with sexual undertones or just a straight up perverted story that will have random people in it. She is hoping you'll connect the dots that those random people in the story is suppose to be you and her.

The best way to take advantage of this situation is to get her somewhere private and give some more stories but personal stories...sex stories. You'll have to go first, and you'll have to pressure her (in a fun way) to give you all the dirty details. It works because you are making her comfortable (being slutty), she's having fun telling the stories, and very horny from thinking about it. And since you are her sexual fantasy, there is no way she'll be able to resist.

You can use this story trick in other situations as well, but you really need to make sure you read the situation very well before you do so.

The stuff above isn't rocket science. When it happens to you, you'll figure out what is going on.

The big take away here: everybody loves a good story.

 

[Smith]

The difference with the above is, there is no switch you trigger (her eyes never light up, because it is purely perverted thoughts she is having)...but you will notice things are going on in the back of her head. And she'll hint at things. Usually, she'll tell a random story with sexual undertones or just a straight up perverted story that will have random people in it. She is hoping you'll connect the dots that those random people in the story is suppose to be you and her.

The best way to take advantage of this situation is to get her somewhere private and give some more stories but personal stories...sex stories. You'll have to go first, and you'll have to pressure her (in a fun way) to give you all the dirty details. It works because you are making her comfortable (being slutty), she's having fun telling the stories, and very horny from thinking about it. And since you are her sexual fantasy, there is no way she'll be able to resist.

OMG! so that's why I lost that girl last week lol. She was telling me random stuff with sexual undertones, but I didn't take advantage of it. haha damn it. This is good advice metomeya! Thanks =)

 

[Seppuku]

Still learning this too, as it was new to me when I started reading this site.

Right now, my approach is non-verbal, by touching her a lot and using my voice. When I compliment her I would prefer "sexy" to "pretty", "charm" to "beauty".

 

[PinotNoir]

Been working on this as well. If go on a lot of dates in a short period of time, it gets easier. You build momentum, and because you're seeing so many girls, you care less,i.e., abundance mentality, so the riskier and closer to the edge you get in conversation.

First, my warm up. This one I literally use all of the time, and I learned it right here on the forums. I suggest she just likes something because of the hot guys or something else.

"I like to travel to England." "Oh, just for the hot guys I'm sure"
"I love football." "Oh, just so that you can see hot guys sweat"
etc.

Great way to get warming up and no girl is going to get offended by this. You build on this momentum, getting riskier and closer to the edge....

Second are your typical sexual innuendos. This is where you start getting more suggestive/bolder.

"Oh no, 50% chance of rain!" "Oh no? You don't like getting wet?"
(She's playing with some round spheres on her necklace/bracelet.) "I like how you play with those balls." or "You must like handling balls."
etc.

Thirdly, you have made it to the most sexual part without being directly sexual (e.g., "Let me put my penis in your vagina.").

(After saying a sexual innuendo.) "You are such a dirty boy." "Then, you should give me a bath with soap."
"It is so hot out here." "You're just saying that because you want to get naked with me." (Sex frame)
etc.


Ideally, set up 2+ dates for a week, and you'll see yourself getting better and wittier (sexually) for each date. Keep pushing closer and closer to the edge. Take risks and be ballsy about it. Even if you think she might cringe or slap you, say it, and you might be surprised when she laughs or gives you that "look" of desire.

 

[Smith]

Thanks PN,

First, my warm up. This one I literally use all of the time, and I learned it right here on the forums. I suggest she just likes something because of the hot guys or something else.

"I like to travel to England." "Oh, just for the hot guys I'm sure"
"I love football." "Oh, just so that you can see hot guys sweat"

I love using this one too. Usually the girls think they're funny. Another one I like is to talk about topics that could easily become sexual, then asked her "what if...". This one is also a lot of fun. You get to know her sexually as well.

I think a lot of dropping sexuality into a conversation is to be in the moment, be relaxed and not think too much about her reaction when you deliver it. And you don't even need to use too many of these to work. Usually a few times is all it takes for the girl to get the idea.

 

[PinotNoir]

"in the moment, be relaxed"
Very true, man.

It kind of depends on personal style too. If you are more like Ryan Reynolds, then you might deliver it in a snarky-I-know-I'm-sexy way. It's situational though and also depends on what you're saying.

The ideal scenario is to integrate sexual conversation into your own style, and that's really what guys need to work on. Really try to make up your own with your own delivery style and get used to doing it. Once you start actively trying to improve it and getting multiple dates to get experience from with it, you can start getting good at it pretty quickly. Get dates and remind yourself before every date to be consciously aware of sexual convo chances.

What is a "what if..." example? I was searching through my brain, and the only examples I could think were with girlfriends, but not on any initial dates. Here's an example that I used on a girlfriend:

*We started talking about the movie Crank and the sex scene.*
Her: "OMG, yeah that sex scene in front of the bus was so crazy."
Me: "Haha, so you liked that. What if Jason Statham was here right now and ripped your clothes off in front of a bus?"
Her: "Mmm..." *blushes red and starts laughing*

 

[Smith]

I agree. Find out what style suits your personality so it seems congruent is very important.

What is a "what if..." example? I was searching through my brain, and the only examples I could think were with girlfriends, but not on any initial dates. Here's an example that I used on a girlfriend:

*We started talking about the movie Crank and the sex scene.*
Her: "OMG, yeah that sex scene in front of the bus was so crazy."
Me: "Haha, so you liked that. What if Jason Statham was here right now and ripped your clothes off in front of a bus?"
Her: "Mmm..." *blushes red and starts laughing*

It's just like your example using a hypothetical scenario to talk about what she likes.
I got the idea from RSD in this video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ban1-umBhMI.
Although you have to be very calibrated to the situation and the girl, and obviously start off light when she's just getting comfortable with you. Then it's very natural to go on and talk about sexual fantasy, such as threesome, later on when you get deep. Again, how sexual you go will depend on the girl and how much tension is already there.
If she already gives you positive signs, but you haven't sexualize the interaction yet, then it's a great way to bring that in.