How to keep a girl hot for you if you’re out of town for a while?

[Kaida]

I ended up getting back together with that virgin from the LR (may write an update on the main thread). But yeah, she hit me up out of the blue telling me to come over. It was my last week before leaving to college so she probably felt the scarcity creeping in.

Shes a solid 8 imo, I like her. We built a really nice connection, which I think is quite an accomplishment because shes obviously a strong avoidant.

Spoiler: Extra Context / Sidetrack

We ended up hanging out almost every day that week. Lots of investment from her as well:

- I got her to sneak me into her house multiple times even though she’s very risk-averse and her Mom was coming back soon

- I brought her home at 1am and she got smacked by her parents for being so late, and she was still telling me about she doesnt care and that a slap only lasts a few seconds

She also told me she hasnt hung out with someone this much other than a guy last year

Gave me strong LMR for most of the times we got sexual, telling me stuff like she doesn’t want to get attached and she doesn’t think she likes me enough to fuck (but still gave me lots of BJs), but by the last day she was much more open to fucking.

She was on top of me while I was dirty talking her with a sexy voice. It was like she was in a trance. I kept telling her about how badly I wanted to fuck her and she just kept inching her pussy towards my dick, but as soon as literally 1/8th of the tip goes in she jumps back because if the pain. I probably should have calmed her down and just helped her break the hymen then and there.

I’m at university now and she’s still texting me often. The thing is, I’m only gonna be back in town late November for Thanksgiving. Thats over 4 months from now.

I’m still going to be doing pick up and talking to other girls, but I want to be able to keep this connection with her warm until November so that she’s still hot for me when I come back.

How I can keep her hot and ready for me while still keeping my frame and not looking like a boyfriend? (And also free my mind to talk to other girls because theres some oneitis creeping in, thankfully she feels similar this time)

 

[Kaida]

Bump

 

[DarkJedi]

Well, the good thing is that she's a virgin, so there's stronger attachment to you (she also seems very invested) and a lower likelihood that she just goes out and fucks some other guy in the meantime and loses the connection. Sex and connection mean more to a virgin than a veteran.

I'd say just keep lightly texting on and off. Keep the fun and tension up. Make sure its fun and less boyfriend-like. You could also spontaneously do a video call maybe once in a few weeks. Spontaneous is key here: say you're texting a lot one day and boom! You call her in the middle of the texting.

 

[TomInHo]

Well, the good thing is that she's a virgin, so there's stronger attachment to you (she also seems very invested) and a lower likelihood that she just goes out and fucks some other guy in the meantime and loses the connection. Sex and connection mean more to a virgin than a veteran.

Yes and No… sure when she’s a virgin there’s a high chance she’ll get very attached to you but there’s no guarantee she won’t go fuck someone else while you’re away

And honestly you shouldn’t give a shit anyways

I'd say just keep lightly texting on and off. Keep the fun and tension up. Make sure its fun and less boyfriend-like. You could also spontaneously do a video call maybe once in a few weeks. Spontaneous is key here: say you're texting a lot one day and boom! You call her in the middle of the texting.

Relationships ain’t built through text. I know you think keeping up with her and bantering will help you maintain the connection but it’s pointless

Just check in once a blue moon for flirtatious banter to catch up. Then when you know you’ll be back in town you can hit her up to let her know and then you guys can set something up if she’s available

A better mindset is to not worry about keeping her hot and heavy and instead focus on the new girls you’ll meet in college. If she’s still available when you’re home just think of it as a nice bonus but don’t expect much

 

[Skjöldr]

Relationships ain’t built through text. I know you think keeping up with her and bantering will help you maintain the connection but it’s pointless

Just check in once a blue moon for flirtatious banter to catch up. Then when you know you’ll be back in town you can hit her up to let her know and then you guys can set something up if she’s available

@TomInHo said it perfectly, @Kaida

I'm in a similar situation as you although the time frame with this girl is less than 2 months. I tried keeping in touch, but honestly, depends how well of a texter the girl is, it's better to just ping every few weeks, flirt, banter a bit, catch up a bit. Then a week or two before you can let her know when you will be back in town. Then you can set something up.

 

[Kaida]

@TomInHo said it perfectly, @Kaida

I'm in a similar situation as you although the time frame with this girl is less than 2 months. I tried keeping in touch, but honestly, depends how well of a texter the girl is, it's better to just ping every few weeks, flirt, banter a bit, catch up a bit. Then a week or two before you can let her know when you will be back in town. Then you can set something up.

That was the plan, but I left her be for a day and then she sent me a good morning text and now we’re in another conversation.

How do I transition into a less frequent texting style without coming off as cold? She obviously wants to text often but thats not sustainable nor practical.

I’ve botched it with other girls in the past with “I’m gonna be busy over here, but we’ll talk when I get back!” which closes all threads and pretty much kills it there. Not tryna ruin it again

 

[Will_V]

I once hooked up again with a girl after a year, we'd been together 3 or 4 times before she moved to another city.

My approach was to text her every 2 or 3 months with a lot of teasing and even a bit of sexting, usually it would span over a day or two and I'd end it on a juicy note - my goal with it wasn't to seduce her so much as have fun (she was very much one of those 'willing victims' when it comes to teasing so it was very enjoyable). Not sure if that's the best way to do it but it worked a treat and she was even more enthusiastic when we met at my hotel than she was previously.

I think the death knell for long term long distance is boredom and bland texts so keeping it short and very sweet seems like a good idea.

 

[Skjöldr]

Regardless what you do it's gonna fizzle out due to the lack of face time. Out of sight, out of mind. There are three roads you can take:

Road A (Funny, this is what I did at first):
Text her every day, keep in touch. But as the days pass all this daily chit chat will go stale, you will both get bored, because it isn't going anywhere (because it can't go anywhere). It's like jerking off without busting. Your dick just gets numb and your balls start to hurt. Depending on the girl and how much she invests, this can work okay, but for most girls and scenarios I prefer...

Road B:
Text her infrequently, ping her, send her a funny meme or a post on IG. Flirt and catch up a bit and then leave it on a high note by liking her text. I suggest you do this like every 2 weeks or so. Then when a week or two before you're back in town, let her know. When you're back in town you set something up or plan it out a few days before, up to you.

Road C:
Don't text her at all, except one or two weeks before you're back in town. Then follow the rest of the procedure from B.

What I recommend is that it depends.
-If the waiting period is less than a month, you can go with A if the girl is a chatty texter. -B is for girls where you're above-average invested in eachother and the wait is over 2 weeks.
-C is what I do with most girls. Usually I approached them, got their contact and didn't get them out on a date before I left. I will drop out of their city and out of sight and hit them up a few days before and say something like "hey " and after they reply I say "guess where I'm going on Sunday" and roll from there.

How do I transition into a less frequent texting style without coming off as cold?

To actually answer your question (lol)
Just start spacing it out a bit. If it's going stale, it's better to let it die and revive later. Like just reply once a day to her and then space it out like that. Leave her on read or like her message and later re-engage on your terms. There is no guarantee with any of these and they all suck ass (Either killing it through boredom or being dismissive). But that's the game when you're away from a girl. I have a shitload of unclosed leads all over the place and for me it's easier to just drop out and then hit them up when/if I come back.

Try to focus on other girls in the area you're gonna be in for those 4 months. Good luck.

 

[Skjöldr]

sexting

Personally I wouldn't do sexting, it has that effect of my jerking off-analogy. I.e. it's gonna be all talk and no walk, it will just accelerate the downfall. In the moment it will seem like a good idea, then you realize you still have 2 months left till you can see her and it's just gonna make things more messy IMO.

I think the death knell for long term long distance is boredom and bland texts so keeping it short and very sweet seems like a good idea.

So true

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

Had a bro from highschool with the exact same problem you have

It was his first year at college and hooked up with a chick over winter break back at home and wanted to see her again when spring break came.

I told him just text her once or twice spaced out a few months while your at school and it’ll be fine

He proceeds to treat her like the gf for a month texting every day and I wonder why they aren’t still in touch ahaha

If you got your favorite drink of choice on tap all the time, it’s not gonna be your favorite drink for long

I gave him the “I told you so”

lol lesson learned by him, hopefully

 

[Will_V]

Personally I wouldn't do sexting, it has that effect of my jerking off-analogy. I.e. it's gonna be all talk and no walk, it will just accelerate the downfall. In the moment it will seem like a good idea, then you realize you still have 2 months left till you can see her and it's just gonna make things more messy IMO.

Yeah it's probably a bit risky but I think it did help in this case. Note that I didn't even plan to see her again, only went to her city because of a cousin's wedding, so I was just having fun making her eat up all the teasing. Was seeing other girls too. So there was zero neediness.

What I would say is to keep a good bit of innuendo in the conversation but don't go sexting unless you just know she's that kind of girl.