How to keep social frame intact when girl will find out about a lie

[samuraijack]

I always lie about my age (33 now) because I can pass for early 20s, and I usually hook up with girls 18-24.

Most girls are just a ONS or we fuck 3-4 times and thats it, so theres never a point of revealing my true age.

There's a girl now that Ive been seeing for a month, weve fucked like 10 times. Shes 23 i think, and i told her im 26 the first night we met.

I feel like eventually theres a point where my age will come up, and I want to get in front of it first.

The only "technique" i know about revealing your age was from a post on this forum where the guy (maybe @Lofty ) said something like "i wanted to see what our connection would be like without the blah blah blah that comes with age"

I was thinking of bringing it up after sex one night and basically saying "im actually older blah blah blah i just turned 33. I didn't tell you the first night because you brought up something about younger girls with older men and (slip in the line from above) i wanted to see if we could have a connection without the stigma that society puts on it (or something like that)"

I want to flush it out tho incase there's any rebuttals.

Help me plz

@fog
@Skills

 

[Vision]

IMO, the best technique is to be honest instead of trying to frame it as some bullshit she's probably not going to believe anyway.

Once you're having sex with a girl, a lot of the pickupy techniques don't need to be there anymore. She's hooked enough that it shouldn't matter. And if she's not, there's something seriously going wrong with what you're doing.

Also, I suggest you try being honest with girls about your age upfront. I've tried both (I'm 40 and date girls in their early to mid-20's) and found that if a girl is hooked, she usually doesn't care that much or will pretend like you said something else. If she's not hooked, it might be an excuse for her to reject.

Just try it and be strong in your response (matter of fact, don't give a shit) and see what the difference is.

And in this situation, if you really want to tell her, just own the fact that you lied to her and tell her that. I did that with this girl who was 21 (I was 38, told her I was 29) and it didn't matter that much to her at that point because we were in a relationship.

 

[Skills]

I always lie about my age (33 now) because I can pass for early 20s, and I usually hook up with girls 18-24.

Most girls are just a ONS or we fuck 3-4 times and thats it, so theres never a point of revealing my true age.

There's a girl now that Ive been seeing for a month, weve fucked like 10 times. Shes 23 i think, and i told her im 26 the first night we met.

I feel like eventually theres a point where my age will come up, and I want to get in front of it first.

The only "technique" i know about revealing your age was from a post on this forum where the guy (maybe @Lofty ) said something like "i wanted to see what our connection would be like without the blah blah blah that comes with age"

I was thinking of bringing it up after sex one night and basically saying "im actually older blah blah blah i just turned 33. I didn't tell you the first night because you brought up something about younger girls with older men and (slip in the line from above) i wanted to see if we could have a connection without the stigma that society puts on it (or something like that)"

I want to flush it out tho incase there's any rebuttals.

Help me plz

@fog
@Skills

Listen I am 47 so unfortunately is too much of a polarizing age so that is why I usually use 38....

At 33 there is no really a need to lie about your age is not a polarizing but attractive age unless maybe if she is 18..

Hb: how old are you?
Samurai: take a guess (and give her a sexual look)
Hb: 20
Samurai: oh shit, you freaking me out how did you fucking know.
Hb: I am good at this
Samurai: I am 22

^ just fuck around and make it close to her guesstimate. Done, after fucking her 3 times you can come clean at that point she is already super invested

 

[samuraijack]

IMO, the best technique is to be honest instead of trying to frame it as some bullshit she's probably not going to believe anyway.

Once you're having sex with a girl, a lot of the pickupy techniques don't need to be there anymore. She's hooked enough that it shouldn't matter. And if she's not, there's something seriously going wrong with what you're doing.

Also, I suggest you try being honest with girls about your age upfront. I've tried both (I'm 40 and date girls in their early to mid-20's) and found that if a girl is hooked, she usually doesn't care that much or will pretend like you said something else. If she's not hooked, it might be an excuse for her to reject.

Just try it and be strong in your response (matter of fact, don't give a shit) and see what the difference is.

And in this situation, if you really want to tell her, just own the fact that you lied to her and tell her that. I did that with this girl who was 21 (I was 38, told her I was 29) and it didn't matter that much to her at that point because we were in a relationship.

Thanks for the advice. She is def hooked now. I let her do all the initiation for sex and meetups. I want to bring it up now before we meet each others friends so it doesn't become a bigger issue later. I am going to tell her I lied, but I think there is an optimal way to do that so I'm looking for a proper way to word it so she can justify it in her head and if her friends bring it up she has a logical response for it instead of letting them influence her.

Listen I am 47 so unfortunately is too much of a polarizing age so that is why I usually use 38....

At 33 there is no really a need to lie about your age is not a polarizing but attractive age unless maybe if she is 18..

Hb: how old are you?
Samurai: take a guess (and give her a sexual look)
Hb: 20
Samurai: oh shit, you freaking me out how did you fucking know.
Hb: I am good at this
Samurai: I am 22

^ just fuck around and make it close to her guesstimate. Done, after fucking her 3 times you can come clean at that point she is already super invested

Really? I wouldve thought 33 is polarizing.

Yeah ive fucked her like 10 times now. Maybe waited too long...So its been a while. I want to find the best way to approach coming clean to her.

What is the best scenario to bring it up? I feel like if I sit her down and say "hey theres something I have to tell you" it makes it too serious and im being counter productive and making it a bigger deal.

 

[Skills]

I always lie about my age (33 now) because I can pass for early 20s, and I usually hook up with girls 18-24.

Most girls are just a ONS or we fuck 3-4 times and thats it, so theres never a point of revealing my true age.

There's a girl now that Ive been seeing for a month, weve fucked like 10 times. Shes 23 i think, and i told her im 26 the first night we met.

I feel like eventually theres a point where my age will come up, and I want to get in front of it first.

The only "technique" i know about revealing your age was from a post on this forum where the guy (maybe @Lofty ) said something like "i wanted to see what our connection would be like without the blah blah blah that comes with age"

I was thinking of bringing it up after sex one night and basically saying "im actually older blah blah blah i just turned 33. I didn't tell you the first night because you brought up something about younger girls with older men and (slip in the line from above) i wanted to see if we could have a connection without the stigma that society puts on it (or something like that)"

I want to flush it out tho incase there's any rebuttals.

Help me plz

@fog
@Skills

I think I remember the lofty post it was with an older woman so he had to addressed it, a lot of orders women don't like younger cause they cum fast and/or they get clingy or cause they are in different life stages and don't see a future... you need to address indirectly those topics with second generation... but some older will not fuck younger no matter what, just a segment... some women like kezia noble love younger.

 

[Skills]

Thanks for the advice. She is def hooked now. I let her do all the initiation for sex and meetups. I want to bring it up now before we meet each others friends so it doesn't become a bigger issue later. I am going to tell her I lied, but I think there is an optimal way to do that so I'm looking for a proper way to word it so she can justify it in her head and if her friends bring it up she has a logical response for it instead of letting them influence her.



Really? I wouldve thought 33 is polarizing.

Yeah ive fucked her like 10 times now. Maybe waited too long...So its been a while. I want to find the best way to approach coming clean to her.

What is the best scenario to bring it up? I feel like if I sit her down and say "hey theres something I have to tell you" it makes it too serious and im being counter productive and making it a bigger deal.

No i sound like a broken record 33 to 38 men prime unlike what Virgin blackpillers think...there are studies on this cientific will post later

 

[Alpha13SC]

Listen I am 47 so unfortunately is too much of a polarizing age so that is why I usually use 38....

Replace 15 with 47. Good genes man.

 

[Just a Man]

This issue is very situational, to my mind. I feel much more on point at 48 than I did at 38. I'm always honest about my age but I've had to drawn a line, really, so the girls are 21+ now, and more likely 28+.

One happy memory of being 38, though, was being practically chased around the office by a gorgeous 23-year-old who knew my age, knew I was married and was herself in an LTR with a guy she married soon after. I think she was just inexperienced in terms of the number/type of men she'd slept with (i.e. probably about two boys her own age) - and there I was, older man flirting.

It's wonderful what you can get away with, even being entirely honest, depending on the situation.

 

[Skills]

Here is the cientific data http://www.theskillsmethod.com/how-you-age-affects-your-success-with-women/

 

[Lobo]

I don't see what's wrong with reframing the lie. You obviously lie about your age for a reason, why not fill her in on that?

Age has this weird ability to create these barriers that make it hard to truly connect with people. Its like you say these magical numbers and suddenly people already have some judgement or perception of you thats not who you are at all. Kills the vibe.

Personally, I'd rather show people WHO I ACTUALLY AM than let them be completely wrong off a number I gave them. Like isn't that just ridiculous? Like just imagine... if all these fun and exciting moments we've had these last few months just went out the window, all because of a number...

Obviously it isnt right to lie, and its not something I ever want to do... but is it also right to miss out on opportunities like these?(maybe not this last part im dying as i write this lmao. I think it could work if your liminal with it, and not too playerish)

Edit:

Also, if you don't put a frame on it when you tell her your age, then she will.

Reading cosys post on second gen verbals that skills linked somewhere opened my eye to this.

As your girl is looking at you as you tell her you lied about her age a lot of things may be happening.

Of those id say its safe to bet that shes wondering on why?

Why has this cool guy lied to me for so long? She might also wonder if there are now some other things your lying to her about.

The lack of a frame in a just-tell-the-truth answer leaves all of these questions unanswered, which is like agony to the human mind.

So she will come up with an answer based on what shes got available, which is you and your delivery.

And then she will take what she sees, and come up with a frame which more likely than not won't be in your best interests(her's neither)

But she doesent need to do any of that, if you just frame it for her.

So instead of her wondering if you're just insecure, or if you're a player toying with her, or you are a liar who will lie again, you give her a direct feed to what's "really going on" behind your actions.

And its a frame with sound logic as well, so it will be easier for her to believe even if thats not what you actually feel.

 

[Will_V]

Just own the lie as if it's irrelevant. If she leaves you because of it, there was nothing going on in the first place.

I've made up my age during daygame approaches but I don't think it helped, I didn't realize for a long time (as Skills pointed out) women are most attracted to guys in 30s or even older. Female psychology in seduction is virtually the opposite of men's.

I suggest you try just saying your real age for a while and see if it really has a negative effect.

 

[Lofty]

Hey @samuraijack! Good to see you back posting again – sounds like you’ve been rolling in pussy. Well done my friend

The only "technique" i know about revealing your age was from a post on this forum where the guy (maybe @Lofty ) said something like "i wanted to see what our connection would be like without the blah blah blah that comes with age"

Hmmm, I’ve used themes like not caring about the superficiality of age and stuff, but never in the context of revealing my true age after lying in-set for social frame purposes. And yep, I definitely have discussed those and topics of maturity with women much older than me as well when it’s very clear that I’m significantly younger.

Not sure who might have posted that specific piece of tech – at first read I did think it sounded like Skills, but if it wasn’t him, dunno. Back in the forum lore (and before a bunch of drama happened with this guy), Velasco also wrote a bit about this subject I think. I know there's also this thread with some good responses, although that's a situation with an older girl and younger seducer who lied about age.

But yep, much of the time I will lie about my age for social frame purposes in a similar manner to how Skills wrote out - just molded a bit based on personal preferences in style. I find it often it is effective to transition it into contrasting frames of her versus other girls that are my age/her age/our age, etc. Or yeah, sometimes just quickly move on to a different topic. Though it seems like you already handle that part really well, and it’s not what your question is about in this post.

Rather, you got the lay, locked her in, got her really compliant (nice!), and now you want to reveal your true age because you believe it could disrupt your social frame down the line when meeting friends and stuff. So you want to find an optimal way to be risk-averse when telling her this.

After all your good work with her so far, and assuming you like her a lot, then that’s very understandable!

Wish I could lend you some personal experience, but I’ve actually never been in this type of situation before where I’ve ever wanted to reveal my real age (or hell, my real name) during a relationship after lying about it originally. For example, my current girl knows neither of those things about me (also similar to Skills, I don’t use social media so that’s not an issue either) and it’s been an awesome relationship so far.

She’s an amazing girl, but I’m also not at the stage of my life where I’d ever consider anything REALLY serious… so I’ve had no issues maintaining (and building) my identity when meeting her friends, and for the most part, the relationship has remained about the intimacy and adventures between just us - which is a big part about why I like to do these things anyway!

Though I see your situation is a bit different – and maybe you’re considering seriously looking to see where this can go long-term?

Not sure what you may want to do in that regard, and like I said, I’m not going to give any specific recommendations because I simply haven’t had personal experience with revealing that kind of info.

But I can still make a few notes and hopefully they can help.

First, seems like you’ve already considered how deeply you want integrate her into your life and decided that you do want to take it to the level of meshing social circles and things like that.

So then we can take a look at this next:

Shes 23 i think, and i told her im 26 the first night we met.

Which is that you’re not completely sure of her age... so are you sure that she remembers what you told her about your age?

For some girls it’s a BIG deal for them social frame wise, and for others it may not be...

It maybe not even be a significant deal for her whether she remembers or not, plus you have her really compliant/invested already. And I'm guessing this wasn't one of the online lays or else your age would have been listed and you'd known hers for sure too? (unless she also lied...)

Regardless, I’d think you could even start screening if she remembers it even, maybe during a post-sex cuddle or something.

So here’s one brainstorming of a potential approach to the situation. This strategy would be predicated on basically just getting into an immersive phase and then popping in a quick question to foremost screen if she actually remembers. Doesn't have to be a process like this of course - just an idea. I also agree with you that it's a good idea to think through how to generally go about this and optimize your approach.

BRAINSTORMING A POTENTIAL APPROACH (during a post-sex cuddle or something)

SJ: Hey HB, you know, a thought just kinda popped in my mind just now.
HB: What is it SJ?
SJ: Remember when we first met? I was thinking back to that night… and now we’re here together and growing closer and closer, and it just feels right you know?
HB: Yeah for sure!
SJ: I think so too because we just kinda get each other at a deep level right? Like for us it’s not just about the sex, but it’s also about how both our minds and bodies kind of click together right?
HB: I agree, I’m so glad we met!
SJ: Same . And hey, so you’re this really intelligent, open-minded girl, and I'm curious about your thoughts on something.
HB: What is it?
SJ: I think that as people grow closer, it’s also important to learn more and more about them so we can really understand what makes the other person who they are today, and then the connection just keeps growing stronger and stronger. Because the more we learn about other people, it’s like the more we connect with them, and the more we can learn about ourselves you know?
HB: That’s really well said, yeah!
SJ: So here HB, I'm really curious... if you could name your your favorite memory... like growing up or even right now, what would it be?
HB: Ohhh good question blah blah blah
[talk about that for a while and if appropriate, what it would be like if you were there, etc.)
(she will probably ask you the same question – keep on the deep convo, then eventually when it’s a calibrated moment…)
SJ: Hey HB, that reminds me, did I ever tell you how old I was? Pretty sure I did but a lottttt happened since then so I want to doublecheck and make sure you know

POTENTIAL RESPONSE 1 (if she doesn’t remember):

HB: Hmm I think you did but I forgot… how old are you again?
SJ: You were 23 right? (you can confirm her age now too)
HB: Yeah!
SJ: Cool, I’m 33. You know you’re actually really, really mature for your age… like some girls your age are so obsessed with superficial things, but you’re not like that at all, like you can see through all the smokes and mirrors in life, live in the here and now, and connect with people really well.
HB: You’re 33? You look so young though! And awwww thanks SJ!
SJ: Thanks, I try to stay really healthy and take care of myself. I think nutrition and being healthy is really important you know?
HB: Yeah, for sure!

Then you’re good and move onto whatever topic like nothing ever happened.

POTENTIAL RESPONSE 2 (if she remembers):

HB: Yeah, 26 right?
SJ: Ah yeah, hold on, you promise not to judge me about anything?
HB: Yeah, what is it?
SJ: It’s that sometimes I do this thing when meeting new people, and if they ask how old I am, I say 26 when I’m actually 33. Sometimes I do this because I feel like sometimes people judge me for my age now, you know, like as if now that I'm a little older that I can't be the same type of person I once was. Like people will tell me just to move out to the suburbs and it's time to put up that white picket fence, but it's not them who decides how we live our lives - it's us right? Like you want to live your own life and not only what people expect of you right? And I don’t FEEL 33, and I don't feel like it's time to change who I am... and especially when I feel more at peace than I ever have before. You've probably seen it too in your life when people stereotype you based on age... and I think it’s such a shame that we live in a world where that happens when people are about so much more than that... like isn't it about what’s inside that actually matters?
HB: Yeah, definitely…
SJ: So I guess I just don’t want anyone to pigeonhole me into any stereotypes because I’m getting a little older now, and people already stereotyped me so much in my life... so I hope that makes sense... and I want you to know that is the ONLY thing that I EVER sometimes change around with people and because of that reason, okay?
HB: Oh my god I completely get it, don’t worry about it!
SJ: Thanks! I’m actually really glad this came up because I value you a lot, and I value honesty a lot, and you should know that I said it just because of some things I’ve had to deal with before… and I just want people to see me for me you know, just like how we see each other beyond just the surface level right?
HB: Yes, totally!!
SJ: Aw thanks baby . You’re honestly really cool
HB: Thanks SJ, you are too
SJ: And also know that you can ask me ANYTHING and I will tell you anything you could ever want to know, okay? I really want us to have that openness between each other, and I think we already do, but I just want you to know that no matter what, communication is one of the most important things to me!
HB: Thank you so much! You can ask me anything too!!

(Keep the liminality moving positively from there)

So that could be one approach. I also think the approach you wrote in the OP is a good option as well. Then of course other guys have recommended being really quick with it, so that's another thing to think about.

Overall, I’m definitely one for manipulating age for social frame as necessary.

Girls have a million different baseline social frames they work out of, so to me it’s best to operate with the most risk-averse strategy for getting the lay first and foremost. And a lot of the time, that can be changing our age up a bit. We don’t have to necessarily take the risk of her knee-jerking if we think she might with our real age, so why would we?

To me, it’s well worth the creation of a new social frame calibrated to the situation, but I understand how others might see differently. Plus I enjoy how it works though and crafting ideal social frames based on each individual girl.

In any case, I hope you find a solution that works well for you!

 

[Will_V]

Hey @samuraijack! Good to see you back posting again – sounds like you’ve been rolling in pussy. Well done my friend


Hmmm, I’ve used themes like not caring about the superficiality of age and stuff, but never in the context of revealing my true age after lying in-set for social frame purposes. And yep, I definitely have discussed those and topics of maturity with women much older than me as well when it’s very clear that I’m significantly younger.

Not sure who might have posted that specific piece of tech – at first read I did think it sounded like Skills, but if it wasn’t him, dunno. Back in the forum lore (and before a bunch of drama happened with this guy), Velasco also wrote a bit about this subject I think. I know there's also this thread with some good responses, although that's a situation with an older girl and younger seducer who lied about age.

But yep, much of the time I will lie about my age for social frame purposes in a similar manner to how Skills wrote out - just molded a bit based on personal preferences in style. I find it often it is effective to transition it into contrasting frames of her versus other girls that are my age/her age/our age, etc. Or yeah, sometimes just quickly move on to a different topic. Though it seems like you already handle that part really well, and it’s not what your question is about in this post.

Rather, you got the lay, locked her in, got her really compliant (nice!), and now you want to reveal your true age because you believe it could disrupt your social frame down the line when meeting friends and stuff. So you want to find an optimal way to be risk-averse when telling her this.

After all your good work with her so far, and assuming you like her a lot, then that’s very understandable!

Wish I could lend you some personal experience, but I’ve actually never been in this type of situation before where I’ve ever wanted to reveal my real age (or hell, my real name) during a relationship after lying about it originally. For example, my current girl knows neither of those things about me (also similar to Skills, I don’t use social media so that’s not an issue either) and it’s been an awesome relationship so far.

She’s an amazing girl, but I’m also not at the stage of my life where I’d ever consider anything REALLY serious… so I’ve had no issues maintaining (and building) my identity when meeting her friends, and for the most part, the relationship has remained about the intimacy and adventures between just us - which is a big part about why I like to do these things anyway!

Though I see your situation is a bit different – and maybe you’re considering seriously looking to see where this can go long-term?

Not sure what you may want to do in that regard, and like I said, I’m not going to give any specific recommendations because I simply haven’t had personal experience with revealing that kind of info.

But I can still make a few notes and hopefully they can help.

First, seems like you’ve already considered how deeply you want integrate her into your life and decided that you do want to take it to the level of meshing social circles and things like that.

So then we can take a look at this next:


Which is that you’re not completely sure of her age... so are you sure that she remembers what you told her about your age?

For some girls it’s a BIG deal for them social frame wise, and for others it may not be...

It maybe not even be a significant deal for her whether she remembers or not, plus you have her really compliant/invested already. And I'm guessing this wasn't one of the online lays or else your age would have been listed and you'd known hers for sure too? (unless she also lied...)

Regardless, I’d think you could even start screening if she remembers it even, maybe during a post-sex cuddle or something.

So here’s one brainstorming of a potential approach to the situation. This strategy would be predicated on basically just getting into an immersive phase and then popping in a quick question to foremost screen if she actually remembers. Doesn't have to be a process like this of course - just an idea. I also agree with you that it's a good idea to think through how to generally go about this and optimize your approach.


So that could be one approach. I also think the approach you wrote in the OP is a good option as well. Then of course other guys have recommended being really quick with it, so that's another thing to think about.

Overall, I’m definitely one for manipulating age for social frame as necessary.

Girls have a million different baseline social frames they work out of, so to me it’s best to operate with the most risk-averse strategy for getting the lay first and foremost. And a lot of the time, that can be changing our age up a bit. We don’t have to necessarily take the risk of her knee-jerking if we think she might with our real age, so why would we?

To me, it’s well worth the creation of a new social frame calibrated to the situation, but I understand how others might see differently. Plus I enjoy how it works though and crafting ideal social frames based on each individual girl.

In any case, I hope you find a solution that works well for you!

Yeah I think it's more important to play with the numbers when she's older. The first girl I slept with was 7 years older and I think I told her I was 24 when I was 19. Told her the truth straight after when I was catching my breath (not just that I was 19 but also that she was my first lol). She didn't really care, probably couldn't think straight after what I'd just done to her. But I can imagine it might not have happened if I'd told her my age at the club when we met.

 

[Gaturro]

Hey @samuraijack! Good to see you back posting again – sounds like you’ve been rolling in pussy. Well done my friend


Hmmm, I’ve used themes like not caring about the superficiality of age and stuff, but never in the context of revealing my true age after lying in-set for social frame purposes. And yep, I definitely have discussed those and topics of maturity with women much older than me as well when it’s very clear that I’m significantly younger.

Not sure who might have posted that specific piece of tech – at first read I did think it sounded like Skills, but if it wasn’t him, dunno. Back in the forum lore (and before a bunch of drama happened with this guy), Velasco also wrote a bit about this subject I think. I know there's also this thread with some good responses, although that's a situation with an older girl and younger seducer who lied about age.

But yep, much of the time I will lie about my age for social frame purposes in a similar manner to how Skills wrote out - just molded a bit based on personal preferences in style. I find it often it is effective to transition it into contrasting frames of her versus other girls that are my age/her age/our age, etc. Or yeah, sometimes just quickly move on to a different topic. Though it seems like you already handle that part really well, and it’s not what your question is about in this post.

Rather, you got the lay, locked her in, got her really compliant (nice!), and now you want to reveal your true age because you believe it could disrupt your social frame down the line when meeting friends and stuff. So you want to find an optimal way to be risk-averse when telling her this.

After all your good work with her so far, and assuming you like her a lot, then that’s very understandable!

Wish I could lend you some personal experience, but I’ve actually never been in this type of situation before where I’ve ever wanted to reveal my real age (or hell, my real name) during a relationship after lying about it originally. For example, my current girl knows neither of those things about me (also similar to Skills, I don’t use social media so that’s not an issue either) and it’s been an awesome relationship so far.

She’s an amazing girl, but I’m also not at the stage of my life where I’d ever consider anything REALLY serious… so I’ve had no issues maintaining (and building) my identity when meeting her friends, and for the most part, the relationship has remained about the intimacy and adventures between just us - which is a big part about why I like to do these things anyway!

Though I see your situation is a bit different – and maybe you’re considering seriously looking to see where this can go long-term?

Not sure what you may want to do in that regard, and like I said, I’m not going to give any specific recommendations because I simply haven’t had personal experience with revealing that kind of info.

But I can still make a few notes and hopefully they can help.

First, seems like you’ve already considered how deeply you want integrate her into your life and decided that you do want to take it to the level of meshing social circles and things like that.

So then we can take a look at this next:


Which is that you’re not completely sure of her age... so are you sure that she remembers what you told her about your age?

For some girls it’s a BIG deal for them social frame wise, and for others it may not be...

It maybe not even be a significant deal for her whether she remembers or not, plus you have her really compliant/invested already. And I'm guessing this wasn't one of the online lays or else your age would have been listed and you'd known hers for sure too? (unless she also lied...)

Regardless, I’d think you could even start screening if she remembers it even, maybe during a post-sex cuddle or something.

So here’s one brainstorming of a potential approach to the situation. This strategy would be predicated on basically just getting into an immersive phase and then popping in a quick question to foremost screen if she actually remembers. Doesn't have to be a process like this of course - just an idea. I also agree with you that it's a good idea to think through how to generally go about this and optimize your approach.


So that could be one approach. I also think the approach you wrote in the OP is a good option as well. Then of course other guys have recommended being really quick with it, so that's another thing to think about.

Overall, I’m definitely one for manipulating age for social frame as necessary.

Girls have a million different baseline social frames they work out of, so to me it’s best to operate with the most risk-averse strategy for getting the lay first and foremost. And a lot of the time, that can be changing our age up a bit. We don’t have to necessarily take the risk of her knee-jerking if we think she might with our real age, so why would we?

To me, it’s well worth the creation of a new social frame calibrated to the situation, but I understand how others might see differently. Plus I enjoy how it works though and crafting ideal social frames based on each individual girl.

In any case, I hope you find a solution that works well for you!

i love this! just one thing, in my country it’s almost like a meme that older guys tell young girls “you’re mature for your age” (of course this comes from uncalibrated dudes BEFORE even talking for 5 minutes) but still this could get an automatic response, i would say the same but rephrasing it differently

Yeah I think it's more important to play with the numbers when she's older. The first girl I slept with was 7 years older and I think I told her I was 24 when I was 19. Told her the truth straight after when I was catching my breath (not just that I was 19 but also that she was my first lol). She didn't really care, probably couldn't think straight after what I'd just done to her. But I can imagine it might not have happened if I'd told her my age at the club when we met.

that’s why, if possible, it’s better to avoid the age topic after you’ve fucked her haha, i also had one girl asking me right after we fucked.. i’m 23, she said she was 25, i said “oh that sucks if you were at least 30 you could adopt me” hahaha

 

[Skills]

I always lie about my age (33 now) because I can pass for early 20s, and I usually hook up with girls 18-24.

Most girls are just a ONS or we fuck 3-4 times and thats it, so theres never a point of revealing my true age.

There's a girl now that Ive been seeing for a month, weve fucked like 10 times. Shes 23 i think, and i told her im 26 the first night we met.

I feel like eventually theres a point where my age will come up, and I want to get in front of it first.

The only "technique" i know about revealing your age was from a post on this forum where the guy (maybe @Lofty ) said something like "i wanted to see what our connection would be like without the blah blah blah that comes with age"

I was thinking of bringing it up after sex one night and basically saying "im actually older blah blah blah i just turned 33. I didn't tell you the first night because you brought up something about younger girls with older men and (slip in the line from above) i wanted to see if we could have a connection without the stigma that society puts on it (or something like that)"

I want to flush it out tho incase there's any rebuttals.

Help me plz

@fog
@Skills

Bro reading this again there is no need to bring it up by you... If she ever does then address it.... And women are weird, like mrs. skills knows my fake name is not my name, she still calls me and introduce me as my fake name, go figure.....

 

[Skjöldr]

Girls have a million different baseline social frames they work out of, so to me it’s best to operate with the most risk-averse strategy for getting the lay first and foremost. And a lot of the time, that can be changing our age up a bit. We don’t have to necessarily take the risk of her knee-jerking if we think she might with our real age, so why would we?

Bingo.
I lie about my age like 80% of the time. A rule of thumb is that if a girl is older than me (im 21) i say im 24 and if she is younger than me, i say my real age. Before if a girl was older i would tell her im 23, 24, 25 or 26 but it became a mess, because i forgot which girl i had told what. So i kept it simple: A) im 21 if she is younger or B) im 24 if she is older.

I have only revealed my real age after lying two times before (besides one time where she found out on her own after sleeping together) and ofc it didn't go positively, but i didn't lose them over it, which is the key thing. If i had been straight up before the lay, i would have lost them, now i lost some points with them, but it didn't lose me them. So, i suggest after sleeping with a girl like 4-6 times. That is kinda the sweet spot. Before that and she might not be hooked enough. Longer than that and the feeling of betrayal will be greater.

I disagree with @Vision. It isn't a matter of framing. For some girl it will literally cause a knee jerk rejection, no matter how kek and funny you try to reframe it. I have tried that dozens of times before. Doesn't work. Just do it the easy way and lie to her.

 

[Just a Man]

I think the reason that Vision and I incline to be honest about age is that it just matters less as you get older. When you're 30, a 28-year-old woman doesn't care and (in my experience) neither does a 20-year-old. So no need to lie either way.

Then as you move up from 30 to 50, you stretch the acceptable age gap by very very slowly recalibrating the age range of women you're interested in. (This will likely happen naturally anyway because you hit a point where teenagers are really quite boring.) If you're still chasing 20-year-olds after about 40, you mostly have your work cut out. But a 28-year old woman will often have no issues with 40s at all. So again, no need to lie.

 

[Skills]

I think the reason that Vision and I incline to be honest about age is that it just matters less as you get older. When you're 30, a 28-year-old woman doesn't care and (in my experience) neither does a 20-year-old. So no need to lie either way.

Then as you move up from 30 to 50, you stretch the acceptable age gap by very very slowly recalibrating the age range of women you're interested in. (This will likely happen naturally anyway because you hit a point where teenagers are really quite boring.) If you're still chasing 20-year-olds after about 40, you mostly have your work cut out. But a 28-year old woman will often have no issues with 40s at all. So again, no need to lie.

Yeah I have made that point, actually I mention that in the link I posted. But for example in online dating if I were to put 47 I would be invisible to woman I may interested in I would be automatically filter out... in clubs a lot of women don't go to clubs...

 

[Vision]

I disagree with @Vision. It isn't a matter of framing. For some girl it will literally cause a knee jerk rejection, no matter how kek and funny you try to reframe it. I have tried that dozens of times before. Doesn't work. Just do it the easy way and lie to her.

I'm not saying that it's a matter of framing or being funny or whatever else you're saying here... I'm saying that it's a matter of power. The more power you have in the situation, the more you can do whatever you want and she'll accept it. The less power you have, the more anything that happens outside of what she thinks is acceptable will trigger a rejection response.

If she's hyper attracted to you and you tell her you're a 40 year old, what I've seen girls do in the past is either start going, "wow, I'm attracted to older men" or even pretend like you said something you didn't ("You said you're 30, right?"). Girls may have rejected me in the past for my age but it's hard for me to know whether that was age or her level of attraction when I told her my age... I'm guessing it's the latter but I could be wrong if there is a "no go" age for her... but it'd be hard for me to believe she wouldn't make exceptions if she was attracted enough.

That's why you can usually just tell her your age after sex and she doesn't care anymore (IME), you now have most of the power (assuming she does really like you and you aren't fucking everything up post sex).

 

[Just a Man]

But for example in online dating if I were to put 47 I would be invisible to woman I may interested in I would be automatically filter out... in clubs a lot of women don't go to clubs...

Yes, it's an issue with online filters for sure. But I think once there's a 1-1 rapport IRL, it's good to resolve the lie (or shall we just call it a fib?) asap.