Franco beat me to the reply, but I'm posting mine anyway since I wrote it up before seeing his haha. Here are my thoughts:
Witcher, you have valid points and this is a good discussion. Actually, if I recall correctly, this has been discussed on the boards before, but I don't have the thread saved.
Everything has pros and cons, and if you feel like the direct opener does not suit your style, then I definitely suggest using indirect-direct. Also, it's not a black & white answer. Sometimes a direct opener is best; sometimes a indirect-direct opener is best; and sometimes it doesn't matter. I wouldn't fret too much about it. The main thing is to approach.
Witcher said:
1. He give the girl the opportunity to quickly reject you.
2. Give the girl the opportinty toi screene you from the start.
3. Give the intreaction a sperfical start, so you talk to her because she's cute, she will do the same with you.
4. Switch the interaction, she is the prize. Note her: i know that going direct doesn't mean that the girl is fully selected (most of the time yes
), but this is what she will believe and hwat the interaction will look like.
5. Its kill abondance vibe- Same note here : Its not the case but this is what she will believe.
6. It make the girl feel that she has to make a quick decision about you. This could be pretty hard for some girls.
I added the numbers for answering purposes.
1.
You're just calling a woman pretty; that's it. True, it gives the girl a chance to immediately say, "Ah, thanks, but I have a boyfriend." But, you can just counter with, "Oh, I'm not saying I'm single. Is your relationship pretty serious?" You can deep-dive into her relationship, and if it seems rocky, you can get her contact details and meet up as friends or be there for the rebound. As for single girls, I've approached a lot, and I very
RARELY get this right after a direct opener: "Ah, thanks, but I'm not interested." It almost never happens. Instead, this comes up when I finally ask for her phone number.
This is a con, but the pro is that you know immediately whether she's interested/single and doesn't waste your time. Again, it just depends on your style, the scenario, the environment, the girl, what you want, etc. Just do what feels best or what your gut tells you at the time.
2. Same as #1 I think. The pro is that she knows right off the bat what your interest is. You're not some orbiter/friendzoned-/platonic- friend. You're a bold man that moves fast; that is best; and that doesn't like to waste his time.
3. This can be a con or a pro.
4. This is a con, but there are ways to switch this in your favor. During the day, so few guys have the guts to approach with a direct opener, I'd say that it comes off as equal. She's a "prize," but you're also a "prize" for being a unique guy. Most guys don't compliment her when sober during the day, and instead hide their feelings or don't approach. Of course, in a place like SoCal, I hear girls are pretty used to this from Chase/Franco, so the "prize" feeling for an aggressive man is less, so depends on where you live a little and on the types of girls you approach (conservative/loner vs wild/outgoing).
5. This can be a con. But, she may also think, "Wow, he's got a big balls. He must be getting a lot of dates being fearless like that." Most guys see a single girl as a limited hot commodity. A guy with abundance mentality knows they're a dime a dozen. So if he approaches with a direct opener and gets shot down, no big deal. It just depends on her viewpoint.
6. I humbly disagree. If you were to say, "Hey, you're hot. Want to go on a date?" Then, yes, you are correct. But, if you just give a compliment, and then begin discussing something and asking her about herself, i.e., having a conversation, then no quick decision needs to be made. She doesn't have to make a decision until you finally ask for her phone number (or, more leader-wise, tell her to give it to you, like, "Let's meet up for coffee. Let me see your phone so that I can put my number in."). Yes, in her mind, she'll be thinking, "This guy is about to ask me out," but you have plenty of time still to have a conversation and create rapport before she has to make
the decision.
Even though I think you have good questions and it's good that you're thinking critically, you are probably over-thinking this. I do this a lot and have had recent questions related to me over-thinking things (see "sex rule" post). It's best to just do and then ask.
I'm not writing this to discredit direct opener totally, i like it but want ways to make it more efficient. I live in a country where ASD is high and where pretty girls are scarce. But going too indrect will not help too. So i want to find a little balance.
I think pre-opening plus indirect-direct is probably the balance. Look at any of the Best of Field Reports stickied posts, especially NJ's. He's a master.
For example, you and a girl are both in the hat section of a store. You stand near her side-to-side where she can see you out of the corner of her eyes (pre-opening). Then you put on a hat and ask her if the hat looks good on you (indirect and compliance). Then you begin talking about whatever. Then you give her a compliment like you just noticed how cute she is (indirect-direct), or a for a true example of indirect-direct, you say that you really just wanted to talk to her and don't care about buying a hat.
Openers are just a way in -- a first step, a beginning. Even if you deliver the best opener in the world, if your conversation/connection/rapport/etc. isn't good, she's going to turn you down.
