How to manage becoming more unrelatable & an outcast?

[DoWhatWorks]

Will warn you now, this is one of my ramble posts and borderline autistic online journals lol...

I've been self-improvement and business obsessed for a decade now... Game/girls was simply the gateway drug.

What I've noticed though is as I've started to level up & transition from young with potential to someone with traction & a legit chance of "making it"

I feel like an outcast... To be clear I say this as a socially capable person who's in a fortunate position where I turn down friend and/or girl meet ups often...

My Observations

1. I go to business circles & don't fit in because they're either BETAs or simply high earning NPCs

2. I go to seducer circles & they look at me like I'm crazy when I talk about 6 figure online income, multiple passports & leaving a 9-5 because that's "risky bro"

3. I go to my 9-5 and downplay my seducer & small business success (for obvious reasons) & play the role of boring family guy as that's the only reality they can comprehend

4. I interact with some of the cooler red pill guys & they 100% get the business & girl side of things but I find they believe the mainstream agenda's hype too much I.E Looks Money Status is everything & lack solid inner game.

In fact when I talk and give my full opinion on things people look at me like I'm a little crazy so I just stay quiet 99% of the time. Mostly prodding a couple questions to know how they think then just agree with everything but be (acceptably) challenging enough to make interesting conversation.

I accepted this as part of the game with girls and work but surprised myself when I've started having to do this with guys especially with politics/finance related topics... "Yeah bro a lot of the richest people are corrupt" as stripe notifications hit my phone & I very much intend to be rich myself.

My Question

Where do I find people who just want to make 6-7 figures online, be free to travel/do what they want, sleep with beautiful girls, have multiple passports to maintain their freedom, live healthily & don't take drugs/flaunt their success so they can live that way for decades to come??

Any input is welcome but if you haven't had 50+ lays and made at least $25K from your own business online I don't want to hear your advice.

What I think the solution is

A) Suck it up and keep working. I'm in "your pretty cool" stage but when I get to that next "undeniably cool" phase, it will be easier to find people on the same page

B) My mixture of interests is so niche it's unlikely I'll find a group of guys fully like me... Instead I'll just have different circles for different needs e.g. business circles to talk business, cool naturals & a few community guys for game etc.

Writing this out I think B is the obvious answer. Going to still post this as I find reading back on my posts like this interesting to read back on...

 

[DarkKnight]

My mixture of interests is so niche it's unlikely I'll find a group of guys fully like me... Instead I'll just have different circles for different needs e.g. business circles to talk business, cool naturals & a few community guys for game etc.

This.

There is no reason at all to demand these super niche expectations from everyone. Also you are clearly not an outcast. I can relate to you though but I already act through plan B. Basically I compartmentalize everyone into how they fit in my life but there is no reason to get my mma buddies into business

I think this is our strength that we can borrow from so many areas. It makes us more colorful hence charismatic, sometimes I purposely let one area slip into another to influence or impress

 

[DoWhatWorks]

There is no reason at all to demand these super niche expectations from everyone

You're right it's unreasonable lol... Think I'm much more community-orientated than I'm willing to admit

Think my frustration is that when younger a lot of people around me claimed to have similar ambitions but I'm seeing many give up 1 by 1

I can relate to you though but I already act through plan B. Basically I compartmentalize everyone into how they fit in my life

Agreed this is a sensible way forward.

I think this is our strength that we can borrow from so many areas. It makes us more colorful hence charismatic, sometimes I purposely let one area slip into another to influence or impress

Now thisssss is the type of reply I like getting when I share these type of posts... Never thought of it this way especially the "slip" bit, could cold approach & number close a girl in front of a biz guy so he wants to hang out more & give free biz advice ahaha

Could have a lot of fun thinking that way.

Nice - thanks for your comment.

 

[TomInHo]

My word of advice is stop defining yourself based on how much money and girls you get

I love money and I also love women but it's unreasonable to expect everyone to have the same level of interest in those things as I do

Because, although I socialize with other players or entrepreneurs, I also enjoy hanging out with "normal" people because they also offer value and perspectives that other people in those groups cannot deliver

It's just like what i tell girls... heartbreak comes from unmet expectations

Therefore stop having expectation for people to gel perfectly with you, accept them for where they're currently at and meet them halfway

Life would be boring if everyone was the same anyways so I see it as a pointless quest to aim for that ideal

 

[DoWhatWorks]

All valid points @TomInHo

For the record

if everyone was the same anyways so I see it as a pointless quest to aim for that ideal

My angle was more, finding people like me vs wishing everyone was the same.

I also enjoy hanging out with "normal" people because they also offer value and perspectives that other people in those groups cannot deliver

This is something I need to get better at. Have far less patience then I used to, might just be the intense focus/frame of mind that I’ve been in.

 

[TomInHo]

My angle was more, finding people like me vs wishing everyone was the same.

If you want to find people just like you. . . then I suggest looking in the mirror more often

But seriously I have found people with similar interest by accident without looking too much. Have even influenced a few friends & business clients that adopted some elements of my lifestyle

And if I can attribute this to one thing it would probably be my choice to live my life radically transparent.

People close to me know my lifestyle because I have nothing to hide. But it's not about pushing my views – respect goes both ways. If my honesty makes someone uncomfortable, I adjust and focus on common ground. It's like "attainability tech" but on my social circle

This is something I need to get better at. Have far less patience then I used to, might just be the intense focus/frame of mind that I’ve been in.

I see

I used to struggle with this too and I still do to be honest.

But life experience has taught me that if you want people to understand you... then you should focus on understanding them first.

When they feel heard, they're more open to your influence and seeing things from your perspective.

And the irony of all this is when I started putting myself in other peoples shoes more often, I also started making more money and getting sex easier. Because people love doing business and fucking others that they like and can relate too

So funny how the universe works sometimes

 

[Loverboy]

As a guy with less than 50 lays and who's never made 25k from my online business I have to say... you don't really sound that fun to be around.

Sounds like you define your relationships with others based on how they fall short of you, not based on what you have in common with them.
Talk business with your business circle. Talk women with your seduction circle. Talk day to day with your 9-5 job.

But life experience has taught me that if you want people to understand you... then you should focus on understanding them first.

100% agreed.
And here's a little nudge: curiosity is the magic ingredient. There an infinite wealth of human knowledge in the lives of other people. Who are they? What makes them tick? What are their hopes and dreams? Who are their friends? What's their story? How did they grow up?
I've always struggled with connecting with other people, but this little trick has changed my life.

The thing is, people have all sorts of wants and needs and strengths. People are like boxes of chocolate, you never know what's inside. If you're business-oriented, this level of curiosity is actually a big asset, not just a useless conversational trick: down the line, maybe this person could turn out valuable for your projects, or maybe you could end up helping them in their goals, therefore expanding and solidifying the relationship?

A recent example is a colleague of mine who, turns out, is a marathon runner. He sits 3 desks away from me and I find him otherwise dry and boring. But hey, how many marathon runners do you know? He's been at it for years and years, started with shorter runs, and now he loves that sport because he says he can still reliably do it as he's getting older. "It's a sport I can do slowly" he said with a laughter.

The people around you form a Venn diagram. If you focus on where they fall short of who you are, that Venn intersection keeps shrinking down to the logical conclusion of you and yourself. If you focus on who they are beyond just you, that Venn union keeps growing and growing.

 

[Toby2030]

Great to hear it's going well for you.

You are 'breaking' the regular paths and norms on so many levels.
- You are earning more than average
- You get more girls (and are more comfortable talking with girls) than average
- You don't live the 'standard' 9-5 life.
- No drugs (maybe not even alcohol?)

You live a very different life compared to everyone else around you, hence it's harder for them to relate. There's a lot less people that fits into all of those boxes, which makes it quite hard. What works for me is not focusing on being around people that are great in all of those areas at once. But being around people that are very good in 1 or 2 of them, and then having multiple social circles.

Eg. my gym bro has an insane body and are a lot better here than what I am. But he lives a 9-5 job and has an average income.

One of the partners in my company earns A LOT more than average and is one of the smartest people I have ever met. But put him in a group of girls and he wouldn't know what to do.

The same with my closest friends that are over average in social skills and with girls but they drink, some take drugs and they spend their money foolishly.

What have worked the best for me is learning and taking the good thing from the right people (and seeing them because of that thing/in that setting), and then not participating in their bad habits (keeping myself out of the bad settings that don't progress my life in the right direction). However, this require a deep understanding of what you actually want and value.

 

[POB]

Think my frustration is that when younger a lot of people around me claimed to have similar ambitions but I'm seeing many give up 1 by 1 .

You do you my man.
Ppl with the same interestes will come and go from your life, but your core will always remain.

E.g.
I've met countless gym bros/chicks throughout my 29 (and counting) workout years...do you know how many of them kept training regurlarly, without interruptions?
None.

But I've made a lot of friends and acquaintances who share that same interest with me, although clearly not on my level.
And thats fine.
With time some of them became my interest in other areas of life....and we even forgot that we met in the gym.
That's how life works...as outcasts, we just have to be able to not see it using a black and white bias and enjoy what ppl can offer without creating unrealistic expectations about them.

In the end almost everybody conforms to the norm... even a person who you may see as a fellow rebel.

 

[alexlaguma]

I can't help you as I don't really fit into your target market, but I do definitely understand where you are coming from.

Every single one of my male friends (and I have a lot of them) seems to see the world differently to me. They are all early 30s, in stable jobs, and settled in relationships. Not one of them is into 'game' and all of them value security in relationships and work. I on the other hand am a freelance contractor, I'm not sure how much I earn but its around 150k p/year, and I am in no rush to settle until I find an absolute 10/10 woman.

My friends just don't understand my approach, even when it comes to work. They ask how I can cope with the uncertainty of being on short term contracts, but I think to myself how can you cope with waiting 40 years for a pension when there is no guarantee you will be alive?

I guess unlike you I had kind of accepted that I'm just a bit 'different' to most normal guys in terms of mindset, and that is just the way it is. The thought of finding more like minded people had not really occurred to me, I just always thought I'll do my own thing and work things out along the way.

 

[Chase]

@DoWhatWorks,

You're right it's unreasonable lol... Think I'm much more community-orientated than I'm willing to admit

Think my frustration is that when younger a lot of people around me claimed to have similar ambitions but I'm seeing many give up 1 by 1

That's part of the nature of the universe... everyone builds huge ambitions when young (thanks Hollywood!), which become increasingly difficult to hold onto as we age and smash ourselves up against reality.

Sooner or later most folks have to admit they're never going to become Super-Powered Mega-Trillionaire President of the World with a 10,000-woman harem and start scaling their ambitions down (as for me, I still plan on becoming Galactic Emperor... although I will admit it is taking longer than I expected).

Personally, all my closest/best connections even today come through seduction. Guys who got skilled at seduction, we connected off the main forums, and then they transitioned to business and did well there too. Most guys into seduction never make the switch to business, or if they do, they don't succeed... but if they do, then just like they are one of the few folks you'll relate to, you are one of the few folks they will relate to, too, lol.

A lot of these communities you really have to work at building. Or find the guy who is building them and stay in his circle.

Elsewise you need to work at maintaining the individual connections with people.

Every so often I go through and touch bases with good friends I haven't talked to in a few years. Just to see how they're doing, what they're up to, and stay in contact. Sometimes I'll drop in on them in my travels and get really caught up. Otherwise we'll do emails, phone calls, etc.

Worth noting: there's no one who'll ever be 100% synced up with you on everything. Everyone has differing life ambitions, career ambitions, different perspectives on philosophy, spirituality, geopolitics, etc. You just need to find people who can relate to you on the stuff that's biggest and most important to you.

That said, the better you get at more and diverse things, the rarer such individuals become.

Thus, the ol' "it's lonely at the top" wisdom.

It's true. Most folks make it partway up the mountain and declare it's as high as they'll go...

Chase