How to pass the AGE OLD shit test?

[Calibration]

I met a chic during daygame. Tbh, she wasn't looking very invested. However, I ploughed and got to the point where I told I want to meet her again and this is how the conversation went:
She: How old are you btw?
Me: Take a guess
She: Facepalm! Oh not again
Me: Come on you can do it
She: 28?
Me: Close. (I had seen a post on GC forum where the common consensus was to ask her to guess and say a number close to that)
Me: I'm 30
She: I'm 20 (with an unamused face)
Me: So you don't date 30 y.o?
She: No
Me: What's your upper age limit?
She: 24
Me: interesting, you only date kids
She: smiles
She: Nice to meet you
Me: Same

Was it a shit test? Could I have handled it better?

 

[Rakehell]

Was it a shit test? Could I have handled it better?

The secret to passing any shit test is acting like it doesn’t effect you anyway. Because it shouldn’t, she didn’t outright say that you were too old, she implied it.

The whole purpose of shit tests is to gauge your reaction, so just remain unfazed, play with her answer, but don’t get offended or start to justify yourself. You could even ignore it outright.

 

[Wick]

Me: So you don't date 30 y.o?

You made it really easy for her to say no right here.

She: How old are you btw?
Me: Take a guess
She: Facepalm! Oh not again

This is a common tactic so I imagine girls hear it a lot. I know I’ve used it too lol.

If you don’t already have good rapport it’s going to feel like just going through the motions of a tired routine.

I don’t think she was very sold on you so this was an easy out. In this case, I would say the right way to look at this is not “how to pass this shit test” as an isolated part of the interaction, but instead how could you have built more rapport and attraction so she didn’t care about your age anyway. She’d probably go home with a 45 year old if he made her feel hot and bothered.

Not sure how I would have handled this besides not bringing anymore attention to it and moving on from the topic quickly like it’s irrelevant.

 

[Skills]

You made it really easy for her to say no right here.




This is a common tactic so I imagine girls hear it a lot. I know I’ve used it too lol.

If you don’t already have good rapport it’s going to feel like just going through the motions of a tired routine.

I don’t think she was very sold on you so this was an easy out. In this case, I would say the right way to look at this is not “how to pass this shit test” as an isolated part of the interaction, but instead how could I have built more rapport and attraction so she didn’t care about your age anyway. She’s probably go home with a 45 year old if he made her feel hot and bothered.

Not sure how I would have handled this besides not bringing anymore attention to it and moving on from the topic quickly like it’s irrelevant.

lol i wrote something similar had to delete it, yeah this ^... he messed up "so you don't day 30 y.o? when he did this he failed the shit test..

 

[Will_V]

I met a chic during daygame. Tbh, she wasn't looking very invested. However, I ploughed and got to the point where I told I want to meet her again and this is how the conversation went:
She: How old are you btw?
Me: Take a guess
She: Facepalm! Oh not again
Me: Come on you can do it
She: 28?
Me: Close. (I had seen a post on GC forum where the common consensus was to ask her to guess and say a number close to that)
Me: I'm 30
She: I'm 20 (with an unamused face)
Me: So you don't date 30 y.o?
She: No
Me: What's your upper age limit?
She: 24
Me: interesting, you only date kids
She: smiles
She: Nice to meet you
Me: Same

Was it a shit test? Could I have handled it better?

Yep others already made the point about where you messed up.

However you further banged the nail in the coffin with every response after that.

'What's your upper age limit' is asking her to set a hard limit and stick to it. Unless she says '30' or more (very unlikely, since she already said she doesn't date 30 y/o) you are cementing the barrier between you. That's the opposite of what you need to do. You're inviting her to tell you 'no'.

'Interesting, so you only date kids?' You're basically telling her she's a kid, since she's even younger than that, nukes her sense of commonality with you, and creates all kinds of unhelpful implications. Besides being sarcastic.

It's always good to think ahead and ask yourself 'what is the real obstacle here?'. The real obstacle is attainability because of age difference. That means that in the end you're going to have to do things that bridge that gap, things that steer her away from numbers and rules and toward her spontaneous attraction for you regardless of your age.

There are a million ways to deal with this:

'Age is just a number right?'.
'You come across as someone who's very mature for her age.'
'Sometimes you meet someone and you just connect regardless, have you ever felt that?'
'Have you ever wondered why older guys are so attractive?'
[joke] 'Oh we can't have a real relationship then, you'll have to be my sugar baby'

Instead of trying to force her to change her mind, you divert her attention to something that makes her think about a scenario in which age is irrelevant, either with a question or a suggestion. Or just defuse the whole thing with a ridiculous joke.

 

[Calibration]

Was it a shit test? Could I have handled it better?

This is why I like this forum

There are a million ways to deal with this:

'Age is just a number right?'.
'You come across as someone who's very mature for her age.'
'Sometimes you meet someone and you just connect regardless, have you ever felt that?'
'Have you ever wondered why older guys are so attractive?'
[joke] 'Oh we can't have a real relationship then, you'll have to be my sugar baby'

Instead of trying to force her to change her mind, you divert her attention to something that makes her think about a scenario in which age is irrelevant, either with a question or a suggestion. Or just defuse the whole thing with a ridiculous joke.

I gave it a thought and I realised it's more of my inner game that I have issues with; it's my limited beliefs. Unless I believe that age is just a number or whatever reasons you mentioned above, I can't really come up with such kind of frame in the moment. But since I myself am hesitant or think that it's wrong to hook up with someone much younger, it's hard for me to have that frame. I don't know how I can adopt that mindset.

 

[moom]

My favorite way of handling this:

“I turned 89 yesterday, and I know, I look great for my age” with a cheeky smile on my face then QUICKLY turn it back around on her “how old are you?”

Im hoping at this point she asks me to guess, because its perfect time for me to say “hm, 15?” if she looks old and “88?” if she looks younger.

 

[Chase]

@Shawn,

Couple points:

I met a chic during daygame. Tbh, she wasn't looking very invested. However, I ploughed and got to the point where I told I want to meet her again and this is how the conversation went:
She: How old are you btw?
Me: Take a guess
She: Facepalm! Oh not again

When girls are commenting on your tactics like this, it is generally a sign they are so not into it that there's little hope left.

Best thing to do at that point is get them laughing or having fun so it looks like you're being smooth, then segue into talking to some other girl nearby now that the first girl has preselected you.

Me: Come on you can do it
She: 28?
Me: Close. (I had seen a post on GC forum where the common consensus was to ask her to guess and say a number close to that)
Me: I'm 30
She: I'm 20 (with an unamused face)

It's not really about the age.

She's just trying to end it.

Me: So you don't date 30 y.o?

Like @J Wick and @Skills noted though... not how you want to answer something like this.

Better:

You: I'm 30.​

​

Her: I'm 20.​

​

You: Perfect. You haven't had time to acquire any romantic baggage yet.​

Really though, by this point, where she is not into it, is scoffing at your game, and is asking your age to use that as an objection, your goose is likely cooked.

For whatever reason, she's just not into it (which happens).

She: No
Me: What's your upper age limit?

Now you are just asking her to be rejected.

None of these 'rules' a woman might or might not claim to have mean anything.

If you're 30 and she doesn't want to date you she'll say it's 24.

If you're 30 and she wants to date you she'll say 40.

Don't ask women what their rules are unless you have already framed their rules as not applying to you (e.g., "So what age do you usually tell guys you date?" and then you both laugh at guys buying what she tells them).

She: 24
Me: interesting, you only date kids

There's no saving you now...!

Disqualifying her mate choices like this doesn't help you any. Just makes you look chase-y.

If a woman tells you she doesn't date anyone over 24, the correct response to that is, "Sounds limiting. What's the reason?"

You can't address objections until you draw them out. So, draw them out. Have her tell you why she doesn't date over (whatever age she claims to not date over).

Of course the age limit itself is BS... but getting her to justify herself puts you one step closer to turning things around.

Chase

 

[Teevster]

Her: How old are you?
Teevster: 30! and you?

If being 30 is a problem to her, then it is not your age that is the problem, but something else.... as you point out yourself:

Tbh, she wasn't looking very invested

So obivously, she will use anything (age, hair color, vibe... clothes.. whatever) to disqualify you... until you are able to hook.

This is not the case of a shittest. This is a problem related to lack of compliance. Focus on hooking techniques instead.

Basically... tell her your age... and change topic into something juicy that will hook her in...

-Teevster

 

[StrayDog]

These guys covered a lot of ground on this already. but yeah generaly best to treat an age difference as a non issue. The guessing game can sometimes send a signal that you are hidding your age from her. Can be a good move for some scenarios (like when you know she is not asking as a way to leverage it against you two connecting) but not all.

I usually just tell her outright and the age convo just passes along like water under a bridge. Keep it moving

A line that has worked for me in the past when she seems a bit lukewarm on our connection and is maybe actually concerned about the age difference is "old enough to know a good connection when I see one. How about you?" Often times when I say this she just laughs and says her age. Then I'm like "no sweat, I'm 36" then change the subject. Basical what this move does is highlights that it is really about the connection, and also implies that maybe she is maybe being a little immature if it really concerns her. Like "well I know you're younger than me but are you at least able to see a good thing when it is there in front of you?" That being said she has to actually be invested a bit for this to land.


Here is something to understand. If a girl who is into you is concerned about the age difference she is probably concerned that she is too young for YOU. If A girl is not into you, she is using age as an excuse. While the age difference might be somewhat of a factor. Its not like its the only factor.

 

[Rain]

Best thing to do at that point is get them laughing or having fun so it looks like you're being smooth, then segue into talking to some other girl nearby now that the first girl has preselected you.

During daygame? Its unspecified by the OP if they're in a busy place like a cafe or food court, or a quiet supermaket aisle where maybe, depending on the luck/timing, no one is going to even see him being preselected. Some might wander in, get their food and keep walking and not stick around whilst she laughs. Hence my question were you meaning that for daygame?

You: I'm 30.Her: I'm 20.You: Perfect. You haven't had time to acquire any romantic baggage yet.

Is there a cutoff age where this stops working? 50? 60? 70? 80? 90? You've mentioned age before and I'll quote you

As a fellow Maximizer… I don’t know what I’d do in your position. I’m honestly not even totally certain I can stay with a woman past a certain age. I’ve had long-term relationships where the girl was beautiful and ideal, but past a certain age the wear and tear began to show and it impacted my attraction to her. What do you do once children are involved?

And this from Ricardus in another thread

I think it exists. If you're 80 and she's 21... unless it's a straight up financial exchange, probably not gonna happen. But the situation you described can be overcome.

Maybe its much lower than 82... Maybe its 60? 50? I'm aware there can be some exceptions for some rules, but I'm thinking this discussion is about averages, not 'going for the major exception'. We're talking about the rule here. So if the rule is 82, or 50, no more 21yr olds, have you 'made peace' with the fact that at those ages you won't be getting a fresh 21yr old? How about not sleeping with or having a LTR with an 18yr old ever again?
You're a maxmizer, so what will you do? Lower your standards? How does a maximizer 'make peace' with the fact like this?

 

[Chase]

During daygame? Its unspecified by the OP if they're in a busy place like a cafe or food court, or a quiet supermaket aisle where maybe, depending on the luck/timing, no one is going to even see him being preselected. Some might wander in, get their food and keep walking and not stick around whilst she laughs. Hence my question were you meaning that for daygame?

I'm assuming you are somewhere where other women are watching and the outcome of the first interaction affects the entrance into the second one.

If that is not the case, then it doesn't really matter how you exit, aside from its impact on your own state & momentum. So... adjust accordingly.

Is there a cutoff age where this stops working? 50? 60? 70? 80? 90? You've mentioned age before and I'll quote you

I'll let you know once I'm 90 and have had a chance to field-test it at each of those ages.

Maybe its much lower than 82... Maybe its 60? 50? I'm aware there can be some exceptions for some rules, but I'm thinking this discussion is about averages, not 'going for the major exception'. We're talking about the rule here. So if the rule is 82, or 50, no more 21yr olds, have you 'made peace' with the fact that at those ages you won't be getting a fresh 21yr old? How about not sleeping with or having a LTR with an 18yr old ever again?
You're a maxmizer, so what will you do? Lower your standards? How does a maximizer 'make peace' with the fact like this?

I'll be honest, man: I am never going to be "just your average 82-year-old."

If I'm alive at 82, and I'm not senile in a wheelchair with a drool cup or else monogamously married in my twilight years to some wife who looks pretty darn good for her age, grinning at the antics of my great-grandkids, unconcerned with picking up new strange, and I want to shag a 21-year-old or an 18-year-old, I will have tools and abilities to do that.

Chase

 

[Will_V]

During daygame? Its unspecified by the OP if they're in a busy place like a cafe or food court, or a quiet supermaket aisle where maybe, depending on the luck/timing, no one is going to even see him being preselected. Some might wander in, get their food and keep walking and not stick around whilst she laughs. Hence my question were you meaning that for daygame?


Is there a cutoff age where this stops working? 50? 60? 70? 80? 90? You've mentioned age before and I'll quote you


And this from Ricardus in another thread


Maybe its much lower than 82... Maybe its 60? 50? I'm aware there can be some exceptions for some rules, but I'm thinking this discussion is about averages, not 'going for the major exception'. We're talking about the rule here. So if the rule is 82, or 50, no more 21yr olds, have you 'made peace' with the fact that at those ages you won't be getting a fresh 21yr old? How about not sleeping with or having a LTR with an 18yr old ever again?
You're a maxmizer, so what will you do? Lower your standards? How does a maximizer 'make peace' with the fact like this?

What happened to the idea of just trying and enjoying the ride until the day you die? The only thing any man has to make peace with is his own conscience, everything else is fair game.

There are no rules and cutoff ages, nothing about sexuality is so clearly defined and organized, sorry to be the bearer of such troubling news. The reality is that if you can make a girl want it, regardless of how many wrinkles you've got, she's yours.

The reality of being a man is that you never stop wanting to shag young girls no matter how old you are. I've seen plenty of geriatric guys lusting after 20 somethings, I've never seen them lusting after women their own age. Most guys by that stage have pretty much given up, but it's not because they don't want to. It's because it's not the 'done thing' and it embarrasses them.

But women still give them opportunities. The question is, do they still have the drive to seize what they want from life, and to hell with social norms? A lot of the time, the answer is no.

 

[reeax]

@Chase , I read somewhere that you're turning 40 (maybe I'm wrong?). And that you don't date girls over 30. Maybe you could write an article detailing how your age affects the dynamic with younger girls, how you handle potential objections, etc. I would love to read it.

 

[Warped Mindless]

Some women, perhaps around 25% or so (just a guess) are HIGHLY attracted to older men in their 40s and 50s.

As long as you keep yourself in great shape, dont smoke or do drugs, get plenty of sleep, and take care of your skin you will likely still look great in your 40s and 50s. If not, there are tons of doctors that can use various treatments from surgery to lasers to whatever else to make you look 10 years younger. I’m in my 30s and most women guess I’m around 22 from just my looks. No doubt to me ill be fucking hot 20 year olds well into my 40s and 50s.

 

[Railer]

I found this thread so invaluable, I compiled a list of quotes for my notes:

The secret to passing any shit test is acting like it doesn’t effect you anyway.

The real obstacle is attainability because of age difference. That means that in the end you're going to have to do things that bridge that gap, things that steer her away from numbers and rules and toward her spontaneous attraction for you regardless of your age.

There are a million ways to deal with this:

'Age is just a number right?'.
'You come across as someone who's very mature for her age.'
'Sometimes you meet someone and you just connect regardless, have you ever felt that?'
'Have you ever wondered why older guys are so attractive?'
[joke] 'Oh we can't have a real relationship then, you'll have to be my sugar baby'

Instead of trying to force her to change her mind, you divert her attention to something that makes her think about a scenario in which age is irrelevant, either with a question or a suggestion. Or just defuse the whole thing with a ridiculous joke.

“I turned 89 yesterday, and I know, I look great for my age” with a cheeky smile on my face then QUICKLY turn it back around on her “how old are you?”

Im hoping at this point she asks me to guess, because its perfect time for me to say “hm, 15?” if she looks old and “88?” if she looks younger.

Her: I'm 20.You: Perfect. You haven't had time to acquire any romantic baggage yet.

If a woman tells you she doesn't date anyone over 24, the correct response to that is, "Sounds limiting. What's the reason?"

You can't address objections until you draw them out. So, draw them out. Have her tell you why she doesn't date over (whatever age she claims to not date over).

Of course the age limit itself is BS... but getting her to justify herself puts you one step closer to turning things around.

"old enough to know a good connection when I see one. How about you?" Often times when I say this she just laughs and says her age. Then I'm like "no sweat, I'm 36"

That being said she has to actually be invested a bit for this to land.

What happened to the idea of just trying and enjoying the ride until the day you die? The only thing any man has to make peace with is his own conscience, everything else is fair game.

In my other night out I had the "chance" to try several of these advices on the same girl as she seemed honestly concerned. I first remembered @moom 's tactic and used that. Then went on to just being straight about it (@Teevster / @StrayDog). Finally I actually went online in the moment to finish up with @Will_V 's approach

In the end it really wasn't only about age any more - maybe about relatability. She ended up sitting on the floor outside the club with her group, talking about stuff people that age might find interesting. Often I would find myself with a young crowd, feeling that I don't fit in at all.

How would you tackle that? I was thinking of isolating early next time - but what if the situation arises regardless?

 

[Musicman]

I met a chic during daygame. Tbh, she wasn't looking very invested. However, I ploughed and got to the point where I told I want to meet her again and this is how the conversation went:
She: How old are you btw?

Qualifier question, almost have to shut it down here.

How old are you btw?
How old do you want me to be?

Me: Take a guess
She: Facepalm! Oh not again
Me: Come on you can do it
She: 28?
Me: Close. (I had seen a post on GC forum where the common consensus was to ask her to guess and say a number close to that)
Me: I'm 30
She: I'm 20 (with an unamused face)
Me: So you don't date 30 y.o?

Why would ask that when she didn’t even say anything?

”I’m 20”
”OK let’s go a drink.’

She: No
Me: What's your upper age limit?
She: 24
Me: interesting, you only date kids
She: smiles
She: Nice to meet you
Me: Same

Was it a shit test? Could I have handled it better?

Man, you guys are disqualifying yourselves easily.

 

[Rain]

There are no rules and cutoff ages, nothing about sexuality is so clearly defined and organized, sorry to be the bearer of such troubling news. The reality is that if you can make a girl want it, regardless of how many wrinkles you've got, she's yours.

The reality of being a man is that you never stop wanting to shag young girls no matter how old you are. I've seen plenty of geriatric guys lusting after 20 somethings, I've never seen them lusting after women their own age. Most guys by that stage have pretty much given up, but it's not because they don't want to. It's because it's not the 'done thing' and it embarrasses them.

But women still give them opportunities. The question is, do they still have the drive to seize what they want from life, and to hell with social norms? A lot of the time, the answer is no.

So do you know any guys who were geriatric, or whom even weren't geriatric, in their 70s or more, who slept with or had a LTR with a 21yr old or 18yr old? Do you know any women 18/21 who slept with or had a LTR with a man 70+?

 

[Will_V]

So do you know any guys who were geriatric, or whom even weren't geriatric, in their 70s or more, who slept with or had a LTR with a 21yr old or 18yr old? Do you know any women 18/21 who slept with or had a LTR with a man 70+?

No, but I've seen the interest that women give an old guy who still has the formidable presence of someone who has conquered life. I know at least one guy in his late 60s who rejected a young woman (who was probably 18 at the time and quite hot) who was his neighbor, would come over all the time so he could 'teach' her stuff and eventually came onto him.

From what I've seen though, most guys that age choose to just have a platonic, fatherly relationship with younger girls they meet. By that stage in life you have come to terms with a lot of things, and the idea of dealing with the possible reputation damage, regret and heartache, and the chaotic emotions of a younger, far less mature woman, just for some sexual pleasure, is probably just not worth it. But he told me he was tempted.

And no he was far from geriatric, still building houses, jogging, and holding an iron grip on life.

Why do you even care though? I don't know if you are old or geriatric, or whether you're just worrying about something irrelevant, but if you want something why not get after it? You don't need anyone to prove something is possible before you can follow your desires.

 

[Rain]

I'll be honest, man: I am never going to be "just your average 82-year-old."

That's not what I meant. I meant if your approach to lay ratio as a 40 yr old Chase or other tribal elders on this forum, with 21yr old or 18yr old, is 10approach and 1lay for example, I meant, is that the type of ratio you're going to get when you're 82? Or any 'tribal elder' can get when they're 82?
Because if that blows up to 1 in 200 or 1 in 1000 etc at age 82, thats what I meant with my 'exception' to the rule comment. Don't forget what Ricardus said.

If I'm alive at 82, and I'm not senile in a wheelchair with a drool cup or else monogamously married in my twilight years to some wife who looks pretty darn good for her age, grinning at the antics of my great-grandkids, unconcerned with picking up new strange, and I want to shag a 21-year-old or an 18-year-old, I will have tools and abilities to do that.

What tools and abilities are those? That an 82yr old can, at will, heavily implied "whenever I want to" go and get a 21year old or 18year old? Or are you joking?