Sometimes due to life , career , job transfers ( where you can't take your whole family due to money issues ) ... A man has to live away from his wife . Also in jobs like army , merchant Navy ( here , you have to be away from home for 6 months ever year ) .
And I have seen that a wife can cheat on his husband even if he lives with her and sometimes a wife wont cheat with him even if he is away for an year .
But there are women who might cheat cuz they were feeling lonely and shit .
And this actually is a bit of a concern for me cuz I am creating a lifestyle where I would be traveling a lot in future ( and also planning to get married by 30 ) . I am 25 rn .
So , one thing I read in gc article is that she needs to believe in your cause .
That may work but I just don't know .
I want to know what I can incorporate things in myself that when I eventually get married and am traveling for year or 2 ... My wife doesn't go around fucking .
And thing is I have big goals in my life and I do not want to sacrifice them either for the sake of anyone .
That's a very good question and one I think about a lot - not just in terms of cheating but also in terms of a relationship breaking down or becoming weaker without my direct influence.
There is a trope in the red pill that I actually think very much applies here: the main thing that holds things together is that she has to
respect you.
The main reason I've come to this conclusion is that the girls I've had the best 'relationships' with post-breakup are girls who respected me a lot. Post breakup there's no reason to put up a facade - she can do whatever she wants, and as long as you have actually broken up it's pretty clear that she's not getting an actual committed relationship from you, nor (at least with me) any sex either.
But what I've found is that even when there's nothing holding you together, the respect she developed for you during the relationship still makes her want to prove herself and be validated by you, almost like a father figure. And the reason is that genuine respect creates a connection of identity between two people. And every person will do far more for the sake of their identity than they would for anyone else, or even for themselves - someone who identifies strongly with an idea will sacrifice a lot for that idea, even their own pleasure or satisfaction, and endure a lot of pain, if that idea is propping up the positive aspects of how they view themselves internally. And as a dominant figure in her life, according to the respect she has for you, you are to a greater or lesser extent an anchor for her identity.
It's important to distinguish real respect from behavioral respect - people might easily fall into the habit of behaving with respect around people they fear or are forced to submit to, but doesn't actually hold when the threat is not there, and a person in this position is very susceptible to outside influences and opportunities to escape. In these cases the respect is at the behavioral level, and goes to no actual depth into that person's identity.
Real respect occurs when you are a dominant figure in someone's life AND you give them a framework in which they can develop and grow and succeed in a way that they find very satisfying. In my relationships, the main things I've found to be useful are:
- Have a lot of conviction in yourself, your principles and beliefs, and be able to explain your position on things very convincingly in terms of things that she understands and values. This positions you as a positive authority figure who speaks her language.
- Create lots of opportunities to reinforce your worldview in her mind with both words and actions.
- Never violate your own principles in front of her, no matter what is at stake.
- Find out the things she really values in terms of who she wants to be and the goals she wants to accomplish, and propel her toward them with encouragement and positivity.
When you do this well, and she has submitted to your position in her life, and you're topping it off by fucking her well and giving her the affection she needs, she internalizes your frame deeply into her identity, and like the sun shining down it makes her feel very happy and secure, and every violation of it brings the pain of violating her own identity.
In this situation, especially if you've set the clear precedent that you won't put up with any bullshit or the sun will be turned off, she really suffers at even the thought of cheating or breaking your trust, and she does not make herself open to outside influences such as advances by other men, lest they find a way to manipulate her into destroying her own wonderful world.
This makes it actually very easy to know when the relationship in danger, because she becomes difficult to influence, opposes you on small things, avoids situations where she has to trust you, does not seek approval or validation from you, and so on. When these things happen you know that she is only a few steps away from going and orbiting around someone else's frame. And it's easy to spot, because it is such a stark contrast to how she behaves when she fully trusts and submits to you.
The problem is that many men have such a messed up idea of how to run a relationship that their relationships never move out of life support, and they begin tolerating and ignoring bad behavior and signals of lack of respect or trust very early on, starting even before they make a girl their girlfriend much less get married. Because they don't recognize what a good relationship looks like, they blindly advance one that is already devoid of respect forward to its inevitable doom. This is partly their own stupidity and partly because of what society normalizes in terms of how you should expect a relationship to operate.
That's about as simply as I can explain my experience and point of view on this. Becoming a person worthy of respect - a great leader and teacher and influencer of people - is not a simple or straightforward thing, and it's something I work on all the time and I think every man should make a priority in his development.
But if you do manage to gain and maintain her respect, I think there's the best possible chance that even when you're not there, she will continue to behave as if you were.
