How to proceed with this former cancel girl?

[Fluxcapacitor]

Dudes! I was out last night in a club and me and my wing went to approach a couple of girls (one he knew from online) and her friend. Before we opened my approach was interrupted by another one of these girls friends, that I approached months ago, got a date scheduled. She cancelled, I was trying persistence back then, it fell through twice, I gave her a ball in her court. She set something up and I declined (her date suggestion and time was shit), she rearranged and then cancelled. Next!

She stopped, looked at me, pointed at me and remembered my name and where we met. I recognised her but couldn't remember her name. She even told my wing she gave me her number. I playfully called her out saying you gave me your number but we didn't even meet up. She apologised, said she was busy and we.....

At this point some ugly as fuck guy came over, bad posture, badly fitting clothes, not an athletic bone in his body and put his arms round her and just hugged her from behind. This was her date or boyfriend. I can't believe she's most definitely slept with that pathetic excuse of a guy. He had no visible game or social skill at all! he must be high in her social circle cause he was weak, insecure, badly presented and needy.

She had a look of oh no, I continued the chat. And we should meet up? She nodded, I talked close in her ear and asked when she was free. She said she didn't know and gestured towards him while still looking oh no. I said I'd leave her to it and she should text me if she wants to meet up.

I deleted her number but I know I kept the messages cause I sent some good ones I thought I could keep as reference. I don't know whether I should text in a day or two (giving away a lot of validation and making her look important enough I kept her number, but leading an interaction for a meet)

Thoughts? Thanks dudes!

 

[BigPapa]

Well since she is with that guy , I guess it is up to her to text you , as you were already blown off a couple of times .

Some time back I realized one thing , I can not put up with girls that have bad tastes in men no matter how hot she is as I feel that if a guy who is lower value than me can get her it means that she is not as amazing as I thought so I just become meh towards her and just let her do the steps towards me . If she bites she bites , if not I focus on other aspects of life

pussy is good but not that good compared to other things in life

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@BigPapa dude! I relate to girls having bad taste is something that irritates me and lowers the girls value. Half the time the girl doesn't realise her value though and is usually with a guy from social circle. It would be a shame to deprive her from a much better experience with someone she's actually attracted to.

She messaged me a few days later...I try not to start what I can't finish!

Thanks dude

 

[BigPapa]

If she is warm towards you and puts effort in being in touch with you then push to seal the deal , I was just saying that you should not initiate contact with her and let her come towards you

 

[Hiya]

It seems the first time around, you did most of the leg work.

I would put the hint out that your interested in going out, for a drink and see if she bites. Rather than ask her for a date, I would say me and a couple of friends are having drinks up xxx place next Friday, show your face if you want.

Don't go out of your way for her, it sounds like shes already got a boyfriend or is dating... so asking her directly will possibly just lead to her validating herself. You've validated her enough and its possible she was using you for validation that recent night also. Do not validate her again bro, it's a waste of your time.

 

[punisher]

Dudes! I was out last night in a club and me and my wing went to approach a couple of girls (one he knew from online) and her friend. Before we opened my approach was interrupted by another one of these girls friends, that I approached months ago, got a date scheduled. She cancelled, I was trying persistence back then, it fell through twice, I gave her a ball in her court. She set something up and I declined (her date suggestion and time was shit), she rearranged and then cancelled. Next!

She stopped, looked at me, pointed at me and remembered my name and where we met. I recognized her but couldn't remember her name. She even told my wing she gave me her number. I playfully called her out saying you gave me your number but we didn't even meet up. She apologised, said she was busy and we.....

You made a mistake by making her remember that she rejected you long time ago. Thats not how you wanna introduce yourself to her for the second time, you always start a new chapter and act like you cant even remember her (cuz your going out a lot, and forgot her)

When she told your wing that she gave you her number he should have replied
"thats cool, you can give him your number, but im the one taking you home" and smile.
What you really wanna do in this scenario is to make her visualize it happening, in other words give "hints"

At this point some ugly as fuck guy came over, bad posture, badly fitting clothes, not an athletic bone in his body and put his arms round her and just hugged her from behind. This was her date or boyfriend. I can't believe she's most definitely slept with that pathetic excuse of a guy. He had no visible game or social skill at all! he must be high in her social circle cause he was weak, insecure, badly presented and needy.

Your talking about a guy that is clearly a beta that were supposed to be her boyfriend or date, no i dont think so. Its normal for some good looking girls to walk with ugly male/female friend. They love the attention when guys comes and approach them and not the ugly friend. Think about it, 2 hot girls goes out, girl 1 gets approached 10 times wheres girl 2 gets approached 5 times, girl number 2 would be mad once she comes home, thinking that her girlfriend is hotter than her

She had a look of oh no, I continued the chat. And we should meet up? She nodded, I talked close in her ear and asked when she was free. She said she didn't know and gestured towards him while still looking oh no. I said I'd leave her to it and she should text me if she wants to meet up.

You asked her about when she was free? well i know, right now!.. shes out dude!

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@punisher dude! Thanks for the reply. I didn't even consider bringing up that we didn't go out was a mistake. You're right that reminding her of this doesn't paint a good picture. She brought up the fact she gave me her number previous telling my wing she gave me her number. She remembered me, I acted like I vaguely remembered her because I did. Any suggestions in how I could have framed this better?

She didn't give my wing her number. She said where she knew me from and he said he goes there all the time. She then asked if he was there when she gave me her number. Weird question really. That's what prompted me to bring up that we didn't meet.

I believe this ugly beta was her date. Her two female friends were hot, he was the only guy with them and he was just with her. It was just how he was trying to interact with her and the look she gave. It's hard to explain.

She's since text me and gave me her availability. (Who keeps a number for 8 month if you're not using it??) We were set to go out tomorrow night but I've had to cancel and she's followed up reminding me of her availability. It looks like she's starting to chase...

 

[punisher]

Yeah i see, i editied my post as well, but yeah your wing should have said that sentence i mentioned

In that scenario instead of saying "yeah you gave me your number but we didn't even meet up "

i would say "yeah you did, but today we wont exchange numbers, ill take you home instead" and smile

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@punisher thanks dude! That's a much stronger reply and sets a better frame.

 

[Rain]

Dudes! I was out last night in a club and me and my wing went to approach a couple of girls (one he knew from online) and her friend. Before we opened my approach was interrupted by another one of these girls friends, that I approached months ago, got a date scheduled. She cancelled, I was trying persistence back then, it fell through twice, I gave her a ball in her court. She set something up and I declined (her date suggestion and time was shit), she rearranged and then cancelled. Next!

I was wondering, would you feel second best though? eg even if she shows up this time, wouldn't it bother you that you weren't "good enough" the first time around?

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@Rain dude! Yes and no. I'm irritated that she ended up with that pathetic excuse when she acted how she did with me, but she remembered me, my name, everything that went on, kept my number and was obviously attracted when she seen me again. She's proven she's not girlfriend material but if she's going to stray I'd rather be the one to bed her. She'd know I wasn't second best and that's on her.

The aim would be a ONS only.

I'd like to clarify this isn't out of bitterness or spite but to give her a great experience. She's obviously settling, and she won't be used to being seduced and shown such a great time. I think she deserves that

 

[Hiya]

@Rain dude! Yes and no. I'm irritated that she ended up with that pathetic excuse when she acted how she did with me, but she remembered me, my name, everything that went on, kept my number and was obviously attracted when she seen me again. She's proven she's not girlfriend material but if she's going to stray I'd rather be the one to bed her. She'd know I wasn't second best and that's on her.

The aim would be a ONS only.

I'd like to clarify this isn't out of bitterness or spite but to give her a great experience. She's obviously settling, and she won't be used to being seduced and shown such a great time. I think she deserves that

Sounds alot of hassel bro, I can see you want to have her... so ensure that you manage your frame and ego, anytime she starts to loose interest pull back, if the dates going shit, leave early. As that may demonstrate your loosing frame.

It's good you've cancelled on her, gives you power.

I have the feeling, she'll not let you bang her right away, might be a few dates... So I dunno if your aim should be ONS, rather causal sex, don't set your intentions with her. If she asks, your going with the flow of life. Seeing where the universe takes you. She was probably just passing time with him, using him for validation, don't fall into that trap.

Reframe any attempt to gain validation as you being the prize. You want her but you dont need to have her.

I had a similar experience a year ago, she let it die off, I fucked up with my ego and pushed to hard, so pulled back like a ghost.

She started to chase later on, banged her 3 dates after, but managing my frame was hard as my ego was damaged.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@Hiya dude really good insight! I didn't update this thread, the date was rather successful but I couldn't escalate on it. She text a bit but my schedule was pretty hectic. She ended up being out and bumping into me in another club the following week and I was able to fully escalate and finish it. I set the goal as a ONS but I have seen her out and bedded her again since. Possibly going more to the casual sex set up now which might come in handy!

 

[BigPapa]

Really great to read the updates and see things went on the right track

 

[Hiya]

@Hiya dude really good insight! I didn't update this thread, the date was rather successful but I couldn't escalate on it. She text a bit but my schedule was pretty hectic. She ended up being out and bumping into me in another club the following week and I was able to fully escalate and finish it. I set the goal as a ONS but I have seen her out and bedded her again since. Possibly going more to the casual sex set up now which might come in handy!

Mission accomplished , yea casual sex seems good, it's always better when you just randomly meet like that, takes the pressure off and seems easier to escalate.