How to really develop self-accountability in life

[Spyce D]

Even though I take action but due to having no accountability .... It seems like I am getting lazier day by day .

I used to have an accountability partner ( a girl actually ) during June - August period but she discontinued it cuz of some shit .... And to be honest , I started feeling the effects of having no accountability since then only but currently ... The effect seems to be in full force .

It seems to me that I have a dependency issue with people . I start getting depended on them to get me out of shit . And I don't know why but I
Have a little willpower .

If I feel like it then only I will do stuff ....

Man , it's strange that I have zero hunger currently .

I just want to do nothing in my life rn .

Tbh that makes me feel sick


The thing is I know what I have to do but the problem is without accountability I always slack off .

It feels like no motivation , no raging hunger that I felt till a month ago.

Even I started smoking ciggerates again after 6 months of abstinence .

I want to know how do one actually becomes self accountable so much that even when noone is watching he remains true to himself .

And that's the one thing , I lack , staying true to my self when noone is watching ...cuz I generally end of slacking .


And I am willing to stop it .

I just want to learn how to do it .

 

[topcat]

Even though I take action but due to having no accountability .... It seems like I am getting lazier day by day .

I used to have an accountability partner ( a girl actually ) during June - August period but she discontinued it cuz of some shit .... And to be honest , I started feeling the effects of having no accountability since then only but currently ... The effect seems to be in full force .

It seems to me that I have a dependency issue with people . I start getting depended on them to get me out of shit . And I don't know why but I
Have a little willpower .

If I feel like it then only I will do stuff ....

Man , it's strange that I have zero hunger currently .

I just want to do nothing in my life rn .

Tbh that makes me feel sick


The thing is I know what I have to do but the problem is without accountability I always slack off .

It feels like no motivation , no raging hunger that I felt till a month ago.

Even I started smoking ciggerates again after 6 months of abstinence .

I want to know how do one actually becomes self accountable so much that even when noone is watching he remains true to himself .

And that's the one thing , I lack , staying true to my self when noone is watching ...cuz I generally end of slacking .


And I am willing to stop it .

I just want to learn how to do it .

Don’t try to “become” accountable. Just let yourself go, stop trying until the pain of your reality forces you to act.

If the thought of letting yourself go so badly fills you with terror, congrats you are now accountable, hop back on the bike and get to work.

You’re a man, you don’t need anybody to hold your hand through life.

Do it or don’t, regardless, you’re accountable for the consequences.

Best.

 

[Spyce D]

Don’t try to “become” accountable. Just let yourself go, stop trying until the pain of your reality forces you to act.

If the thought of letting yourself go so badly fills you with terror, congrats you are now accountable, hop back on the bike and get to work.

Yes , It is filling me with terror ..

You’re a man, you don’t need anybody to hold your hand through life

My biggest flaw is this only .

Maybe , that's why I find it hard to do solo game , lead women on dates , and any other thing in life that puts me in a leadership role .

I have got to be a man .

( Actually , that's what 'she' said on our last date , )

And maybe , just maybe , if I become a MAN , lot of my " problems " will be solved.

 

[topcat]

Yes , It is filling me with terror ..






My biggest flaw is this only .

Maybe , that's why I find it hard to do solo game , lead women on dates , and any other thing in life that puts me in a leadership role .

I have got to be a man .

( Actually , that's what 'she' said on our last date , )

And maybe , just maybe , if I become a MAN , lot of my " problems " will be solved.

let’s typing more acting. that’s part of your problem. asking hypotheticals without doing..

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

Even though I take action but due to having no accountability .... It seems like I am getting lazier day by day .

I used to have an accountability partner ( a girl actually ) during June - August period but she discontinued it cuz of some shit .... And to be honest , I started feeling the effects of having no accountability since then only but currently ... The effect seems to be in full force .

It seems to me that I have a dependency issue with people . I start getting depended on them to get me out of shit . And I don't know why but I
Have a little willpower .

If I feel like it then only I will do stuff ....

Man , it's strange that I have zero hunger currently .

I just want to do nothing in my life rn .

Tbh that makes me feel sick


The thing is I know what I have to do but the problem is without accountability I always slack off .

It feels like no motivation , no raging hunger that I felt till a month ago.

Even I started smoking ciggerates again after 6 months of abstinence .

I want to know how do one actually becomes self accountable so much that even when noone is watching he remains true to himself .

And that's the one thing , I lack , staying true to my self when noone is watching ...cuz I generally end of slacking .


And I am willing to stop it .

I just want to learn how to do it .

It’s tricky because your life doesn’t happen in a vacuum, everything about your life effects everything else

So if you can find the link that is causing you to be in turmoil, isolate and focus on it, drop the others things if you can, and then work on that one thing

you will build a solid foundation

and a byproduct is that everything else in your life will improve dramatically

I know I should leave you to figure it out, but I’d wager it hasomething to do with inner game

I mean you could hypothetically put a lot of pressure on yourself and work on all things you think your lacking in. But the underlying issue will always be there, so even if you get success, it will be success accompanied by the issues. And that’s never the success we envision, nor we will be content with that kind of success.

just my take

Biggus

 

[Toby2030]

You need habits my man. I would recommend you to read Atomic Habits. The book introduces the 4 Laws of Behavior Change - Cue, Craving, Response, and Reward - as a framework for understanding how habits work and how they can be transformed.

• Cue: The cue is the trigger that initiates a habit. It can be a specific time, a location, an emotional state, an action that precedes the habit, or any other signal that sets the habit in motion. Identifying the cues that lead to a particular habit is essential for altering or forming new habits. For instance, if you want to build a habit of daily exercise, the cue could be setting out your workout clothes the night before to signal the habit in the morning.
• Craving: Craving refers to the motivation behind every habit. It's the desire or the motive that drives the behavior. To build a habit, the craving must be associated with the behavior. For instance, if you're trying to develop a reading habit, associating the craving with the feeling of curiosity, relaxation, or gaining knowledge could be the driving force.
• Response: The response is the habit itself—the behavior you perform. Whether it's good or bad, the response follows the cue and the craving. The key is to make the response as easy and accessible as possible. If you're looking to create a habit of drinking more water, you might keep a water bottle on your desk as a response to the cue of sitting down to work.
• Reward: The reward is the outcome of the habit. Rewards are essential for reinforcing habits. They satisfy the craving and make the habit more likely to be repeated. Creating a rewarding feeling after completing a habit, such as the sense of accomplishment, satisfaction, or a small treat, strengthens the habit loop.

The book highlights the importance of designing your environment to support the development of good habits and discourage bad ones. The environment plays a crucial role in shaping behavior because it can either make the desired habits obvious and easy or, conversely, make bad habits difficult to engage in.

For instance, if you're trying to develop a habit of eating healthier, you can make your environment conducive to that goal by:

• Making healthy food visible and accessible: Store fruits and vegetables at eye level in your fridge, and keep unhealthy snacks out of sight.
• Reducing friction for healthy choices: Prepare healthy snacks in advance and have them readily available. Remove barriers to cooking healthy meals by keeping the kitchen organized and having the necessary ingredients at hand.
• Limiting exposure to cues for bad habits: If you're trying to cut down on screen time before bed, keep electronic devices out of the bedroom to avoid the cue that leads to staying up late.

By consciously designing your surroundings to support the habits you want to cultivate, you're more likely to engage in those behaviors consistently and, over time, make them a natural part of your routine.

and more..

 

[Lover]

You need habits my man. I would recommend you to read Atomic Habits. The book introduces the 4 Laws of Behavior Change - Cue, Craving, Response, and Reward - as a framework for understanding how habits work and how they can be transformed.

• Cue: The cue is the trigger that initiates a habit. It can be a specific time, a location, an emotional state, an action that precedes the habit, or any other signal that sets the habit in motion. Identifying the cues that lead to a particular habit is essential for altering or forming new habits. For instance, if you want to build a habit of daily exercise, the cue could be setting out your workout clothes the night before to signal the habit in the morning.
• Craving: Craving refers to the motivation behind every habit. It's the desire or the motive that drives the behavior. To build a habit, the craving must be associated with the behavior. For instance, if you're trying to develop a reading habit, associating the craving with the feeling of curiosity, relaxation, or gaining knowledge could be the driving force.
• Response: The response is the habit itself—the behavior you perform. Whether it's good or bad, the response follows the cue and the craving. The key is to make the response as easy and accessible as possible. If you're looking to create a habit of drinking more water, you might keep a water bottle on your desk as a response to the cue of sitting down to work.
• Reward: The reward is the outcome of the habit. Rewards are essential for reinforcing habits. They satisfy the craving and make the habit more likely to be repeated. Creating a rewarding feeling after completing a habit, such as the sense of accomplishment, satisfaction, or a small treat, strengthens the habit loop.

The book highlights the importance of designing your environment to support the development of good habits and discourage bad ones. The environment plays a crucial role in shaping behavior because it can either make the desired habits obvious and easy or, conversely, make bad habits difficult to engage in.

For instance, if you're trying to develop a habit of eating healthier, you can make your environment conducive to that goal by:

• Making healthy food visible and accessible: Store fruits and vegetables at eye level in your fridge, and keep unhealthy snacks out of sight.
• Reducing friction for healthy choices: Prepare healthy snacks in advance and have them readily available. Remove barriers to cooking healthy meals by keeping the kitchen organized and having the necessary ingredients at hand.
• Limiting exposure to cues for bad habits: If you're trying to cut down on screen time before bed, keep electronic devices out of the bedroom to avoid the cue that leads to staying up late.

By consciously designing your surroundings to support the habits you want to cultivate, you're more likely to engage in those behaviors consistently and, over time, make them a natural part of your routine.

and more..

I am currently reading the book and applying the principles as I read. This is the first material I have read that has made me make significant change in making new habits and deleting bad ones, even though I am not done with it.

Just from that, I will recommend it too

 

[Spyce D]

I know I should leave you to figure it out, but I’d wager it hasomething to do with inner game

It's possible cuz even when I was taking all the action .... There were some things that were holding me back .

And when ( say ) if some shit happened ,. There would be an impulse to stop taking action and just do unproductive/ distractive stuff in life .

The common theme I have found is " something bad might happen " even when I was really productive , and when things don't go well , I am back to distractions.

 

[Spyce D]

@Toby2030

Yup , I will definitely optimize my environment if that's the case.

I think I have to create an environment in which I get small and decisive wins on daily basis.

Ok , so doing it rn.