How to Respond to Tests / Possible Attraction Signals?

[Troy]

Scenario 1: Chit Chat Before Work

Troy : Blah Blah.... ( told a story)

Talicia : You are weird ( ugh facial expression)

Troy : I know right ( smiling)

Talicia : weirdo ( question sign facial expression)

Then the conversation carries on back to normal. I said " I know right " because I feel that is one way to show I don't really care what she thinks about me. In high school, my default way to reply to this statement " you are weird ", I'd get defensive and start explaining myself. However that approach doesn't work. It always led to whatever label sticking to me and everytime I'd see the person who gave me a label, I'd unconsciously prove them correct.

Just to ensure I'm on the right path, what is the right way respond to these labels / tests?

Scenario 2: Hold My Cup Please

I don't think this one falls directly under " tests " however I'll add it. Girls will sometimes approach me and ask " hold my bag for a moment please!"
Today a girl, Shannel at work asked me to hold her cup. She asked nicely.

What I'm wondering is if girls do these things as a opener. They probably don't feel comfortable to approach me and start blabbing so it's probably a excuse, well sometimes. Think they really just want to get to know me?
What's your opinion? It depends too, I had a girl approach and ask me to hold her lunch box and their was a table right behind me. In my mind I said " what the fuck? ". Think I'm being too nice in such situations or should I just roll with it and start seducing these girls? I'm aware that may be a silly question but I want to be sure.

Scenario 3 : Girls Looking Away the Moment I Look at Them

Like seriously? Girl I knew you were staring at me and I looked at you and now you're behaving like you never yet blessed your beautiful eyes on me. My peripheral vision is good. Most who look away will refuse to look at me again so I don't look at them again.
What should I do here?

Scenario 4 : Shy Girls?

I sit next to girls in restaurants all the time and they instantly look at their phones. Busy checking their Instagram / Snapchat / Facebook / Whatsapp / Whatever. Why do girls do that and how should I engage them?

Scenario 5 : I Am the " Talkative Guy " while she Listens...
This one is big for me. I approach a girl and I'm talking talking talking and she just listens and nods and gives short answers. I deep dive and still get short answers. These girls respond best to my flirting. They will just laugh, give short answers and keep quiet. If I tone down talking so much and put more of the talking on her, the conversation stops much faster.

What I don't like is feeling like I'm pushing pushing PUSHING a conversation. Hey some of these more quiet girls may very well enjoy talking to me. I'm not sure! If I'm doing 70 to 80% of the talking I'm going to start feeling uncomfortable and I start thinking

" she probably doesn't want to talk to me "
" I'm probably boring her "
" nope that's just how she is, JUST KEEP TALKING
" SHUT UP AND LET THE CONVERSATION DIE "

All these I think on. Let's say I'm doing everything OK yet the girl's not talking a whole lot should I shut up or keep talking?

PS. I know silence is encouraged on girls chase. I am silent at times and I let the tension build. However at the beginning of a conversation, in those few situations I'm DOING 90% OF THE TALKING, SHOULD I continue talking? It is really awkward to be someone and 3 minutes into talking their is silence. I hate feeling like a entertainer lol, I don't want to feel I'm overly more interested than any particular girl is. However I may lose a girl who may start talking more once she knows me much better. Make sense?


Edit : Lawliet can you link me to where Chase says to be non reactive?

 

[Lawliet]

Re: How to Respond to Tests?

Funny that you mention this.
About tests, Chase said something about being unreactive is the old way and he's no longer that.
I never understood exactly what that meant though.

Lawliet

 

[GoethesFaust]

First post. Literally came on here today to get these questions answered.

Anyone got advice?

 

[Frost]

Scenario 2: Hold My Cup Please

If a girl you don't know approaches you and asks you this, I'm fairly certain she is trying to get your attention. Consider for a moment what we consider to be indicators or interest. They are all very subtle to us men (downright undetectable to the average guy), but to women it feels like they are holding a sign that says "Will you just come over and talk to me??".

I've come to believe that assuming attraction is the right way to go, partly because women expect men to lead, so being uncertain is like shooting yourself in the foot.

Anyway getting back to the point, I think it's an opener, which you can also treat as some sort of test: when she asks you to hold her bag she is somehow testing the waters. A typical nice guy will say sure and hold her bag, not say a word until she finishes and leaves. A better scenario would be a guy who would hold her bag but at the same time open up a conversation. An even better scenario I believe is to treat it as a test (in the way you react to it, like if she said it after you started to talking, or on a date) and tease her a bit. You can say something playful and get her talking to you, then you can say "let me help you with that" if she doesn't ask again. If it's just an excuse to talk to you she might very well forget about the whole thing, but it could be that she really needs you to hold her cup/bag/whatever. So by starting a conversation first with a playful line delivered in a playful way - maybe even getting compliance, like moving her around a bit, asking her to do something for you first - and then later (if necessary) offer to take hold that item you've set yourself apart from most other men out there.

Scenario 3 : Girls Looking Away the Moment I Look at Them

They could be shy or intimidated.

 

[HellAtlantic]

If random girls are coming up to you and asking you to hold something it is most definitely an invitation for you to talk to them. Without a doubt. What I would do, and I'm not sure any expert here would advise to do, is respond with "I can hold it for you but it's gonna cost you." When she replies "what's the cost?" I'd smile sexy and say "your name." Go from there young man.

 

[foggy]

Theres a few different way to respond to these shit tests.

Personally, I like to take the agree and amplify route.

Girl: Are you a player?
Me: Yes I am the biggest player ever! I'm in the Guinness Book of World Records for being a player.

You could also use what's called a pressure flip. You turn things around and put the pressure back on the girl

Girl: I bet you use that line on all girls!
Me: I bet you think everything's a line because you got trust issues.

When the girl was asking you to hold the cup, that in itself was a shit test. It's a compliance test for her to see if you'll do whatever you ask. So yes, saying "hold it yourself" or "no" is the best option.

 

[Troy]

Frost, Lawliet, Hellatlantic and Backstory, thanks!

The one that occurs every now and then is when I end up being the talkative guy. When I'm silent, the girl surely will take long to bring up another conversation topic.

I know silence is good sometimes, however for some reason I don't know what, I don't connect with some girls.

They will just stare at me and act bored and aloof. They will reply to what I said. But they won't talk much. The less I talk is even more so the less they talk.

I'll usually end up doing 70% to 90% of the talking and to be honest I don't like that. I was on the bus home with a female coworker and we had recently met and we don't know each other well. She seemed quiet when I deep dive her.

It was when I was telling stories and giving jokes did she talk up a LITTLE MORE. Still I was doing MOST of the talking. It felt like I was forcing a conversation.

Do you know what I could try when I'm talking to someone and I'm doing most of the talking? How to make it closer to a 50/50% of both of us talking?

Troy

 

[foggy]

Share miminal amounts about yourself while asking thought provoking questions about themselves.. I went to new Orleans recently. I'm always asking chicks where they've been and what place inspired them the most. I'll tell them I've been to new Orleans and talk about m experiences there so it's not an interview. And I'll hint I've been other places too, but won't go into too many details. Make the conversation about them... But talk about yourself too a little bit.