How to stop hating women?

[Whiteheart]

@Blackheart,

You seem to have diagnosed yourself already:



Here's the prescription for that diagnosis:

How to Be an Asshole – and Become Adored by Women

If you've paid much attention to the men that women gravitate towards, they're pretty much all assholes. Yeah, sure... deep down, they may actually be good guys. "An asshole with a heart of gold", for instance. But, they're still assholes. If you yourself are not an asshole though, adopting some...

www.girlschase.com

Every "overly good" guy who tries to leapfrog going through the asshole phase has what you're having happen to you happen to him.

I went through a phase myself where I was constantly telling myself "I'm a bad, bad man." I intentionally did all kinds of stuff aimed at making girls think I was a bad boy (probably a badder boy than I really am). Every time some girl would accuse me of being a bad boy I would laugh and chuckle to myself ("It's working!").

Even today I think of myself as a scoundrel with a heart of gold. I don't want anyone calling me a "good guy" until she already knows me very, very well... e.g., after I've been nailing her three months, she can tell me, "You know what? You're actually a really good guy," and then I will sort of grudgingly accept that remark. Until then she can keep saying, "I can't BELIEVE I am with an asshole like you!" and I will just chuckle. Even if we date for a few years and she sometimes says I am a "really good guy" she is still going to be calling me a jerk and an asshole plenty, because I mean I kind of am. I learned to be it.

Women don't want a totally good guy. No guy is totally good, and if you seem to be really good, they can't trust you. They know they themselves are not pure goody-two-shoes princesses; and they know if all they see is "goodness" from you, it's a false front.

You can trust the asshole. He's being up front with you. Good guys are shady.

@Chase, thanks for the article. I read it.

The great article offers mindset and technical things on being asshole. That is good during courtship and to develop that personality during time.

Respecting your time, I just want to ask if there is faster way to hide/eliminate "good guy" vibe?

The thing is majority of women will look at me/start speaking and disqualify me from the very beginning and no (even perfect) game will help me. Some girls even hate me for this and really try to hurt my feelings.

I know this because few times I did perfect game with women and they still didn’t want me. I pressed hard one or two to tell me why and she mumbled jumbled some things from which I accurately concluded that she saw me as good, honest guy from the very beginning which pulled up all myths about good guys and her unwilling to do anything sexually with someone like that.

Although real and objective things about attraction like VAC, SAC models etc. are core and objective, I believe it would be more helpful for all guys to some articles also reveal assholish female nature. It would be more honest for booh men and women and teach men that women are assholes looking for assholes. On some acceptable way that will help guys to freely accept this female nature. They aren’t silly and cure but assholes and insecure. Simply, asshole will always beat good guy with similar masculinity traits. Maybe not for marriage but for everything other will. And if not, this is only because good guy had other better things in his game and luck that girl choses him although she initially wanted asshole or she didn’t meet any at the time good guy gamed her.

Also, one last prayer to you is to tell me some productive way to get rid of my frustration and anger toward women.

 

[trashKENNUT]

It seems to me like the "female bosses" thing can be real hit or miss, depending on the boss and the employee.

All my female bosses have the tension.
Even the HR.
Even the accountants.

(Trust me. I been thinking about this and really self reflect like a motheffucker. Did I really, Did I really.)

My Female teachers.. Problem. Not all.

Here's the thing.
This is where Asia will suffer the most cognitive dissonance and this goes back to the other post that Chase responded. Once I get all the pieces together, the society, the public have to address it or risk looking like an idiot.

Or they can only say "Sorry sorry".

My female teachers, whether young or old, we had a lot of tension. And I'm not even that guy that ruffles feathers. Actually, I even play ball with the teachers.

I tried.

z@c+

Let's just say that Asia will be better off... taking off my head with a sniper rifle because I'm that kid that is not supposed to survive such 'developmental arrest'.

And I'm not the worse one.

What you guys see today, among the youths. I'm that sample. And I'm not the worse one.

Once I put all the pieces together, on what I experience and what I did, and whether I'm too "sensitive" or "overthinking"... Asian females, especially mothers are going to be pissed off.

Because what I say is true.
There's nothing ego about it.

And The female nature has to protect it's tribe at all cost. They might need to hire someone to take me out before I put all the pieces together and convey my message in better and better ways.

 

[Whiteheart]

Think about it: when you are chasing pussy you are automatically being a selfish bastard. You want to feel good about yourself and validated by the opposite sex through your sexual encounters and conquests. Again, you need to care a bit about what she wants, but you are just using it to seduce her, not as your prime seduction driver.

As a matter of fact, that's the natural state of courtship!
She is probably thinking the same about you (this guy is hot, how can I make him interested in giving me all his attention?).

I want to give girl everything: good feelings, devotion and time for that pussy but they want it freely without having to take off their pants or even to go on date. So, women are much bigger assholes. From my experience they usually end up in bed with someone who don't give them even a half of this, but who is worthless asshole or fool and whom they respect as a man ten times as me for that.
Thank you for your time.

 

[Vision]

I want to give girl everything: good feelings, devotion and time for that pussy but they want it freely without having to take off their pants or even to go on date. So, women are much bigger assholes. From my experience they usually end up in bed with someone who don't give them even a half of this, but who is worthless asshole or fool and whom they respect as a man ten times as me for that.
Thank you for your time.

FYI, women say the same shit about men... "I give him everything but all he wants to do is fuck me and other women and not give anything in return."

Classic nice guy/nice girl problem... if you give a woman "everything" but you don't give her what she wants/needs to move to sex, you're doing way too much work and you'll never get what you want.

Often the problem a lot of people (men and women) have is that we think others value the same things that we value... so you'll see women touting their accomplishments to men because they value men who are accomplished, have passion, and are ambitious.

Then you see men touting how nice they are because they value women who are feminine, caring, and compassionate.

Instead of giving a girl everything... find out what she's attracted to and give her that.

 

[POB]

I want to give girl everything: good feelings, devotion and time for that pussy but they want it freely without having to take off their pants or even to go on date.

What???
No no no, you want to give them your cock!!! Period.
That's why they owe you nothing!
The other things may or may not come in time, but you have no way to know it before spending some time together.

So, women are much bigger assholes. From my experience they usually end up in bed with someone who don't give them even a half of this, but who is worthless asshole or fool and whom they respect as a man ten times as me for that.
Thank you for your time.

Uh, again, no. This is a very wrong world view!
Women end up in bed with the "wrong guy" (a term that I hate BTW) for various reasons
(and none of them has anything to do with what you said)
Also, depending on what you want from her, sometimes IT'S GOOD to be the wrong guy yourself.

Here are a couple of them:
- she is ovulating and any cock will do;
- she is young and wants to experience all kinds of men;
- she is horny and lonely;
- she does not have anything better to do;
- she is needy and wants to feel validated;
And so on...

What you have to do is:
- maximize your chances by presenting yourself as a sexual seductive non-judgmental man;
- trigger her right feelings, emotions and sexual desires;
- and finally follow through on those promises;

Calling women assholes will not do you any favors, believe me.

 

[Starboy]

@Chase how would you view women's tendency to backwards rationalize various situations and come to false conclusions as a result?

For example girl at the club starts grinding and dancing with a guy. Then they make out,he pulls her to the the bathroom and she gives him a bj. The guy tries to pull her pants off to fuck,but she says she can't cuz she has a bf,but she rationalized everything else up to that point as not cheating in her mind. Does that fall under the category of absurd or is still silly because it's very low self awareness?

Or a less extreme example like a guy inviting a girl home after a date where they built a strong connection and the girl is very into the guy. The guy escalates on the girl inside his apartment, she gives him lmr and they don't hook up. Then she goes home and backwards rationalizes that because they didn't have sex that night that he must not truly like her and they never had any chemistry or connection after all because of that she resents him and ghosts. Would that also fall under silly because of her obliviousness?

 

[climbingup]

FYI, women say the same shit about men... "I give him everything but all he wants to do is fuck me and other women and not give anything in return."

Classic nice guy/nice girl problem... if you give a woman "everything" but you don't give her what she wants/needs to move to sex, you're doing way too much work and you'll never get what you want.

Often the problem a lot of people (men and women) have is that we think others value the same things that we value... so you'll see women touting their accomplishments to men because they value men who are accomplished, have passion, and are ambitious.

Then you see men touting how nice they are because they value women who are feminine, caring, and compassionate.

Instead of giving a girl everything... find out what she's attracted to and give her that.

OP, read that last sentence again and again. In the book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People", the author mentions each of us sees life through a lens. The lens is our map of the world and how things *should* be. This map of course includes our cause-effect relationship of the world, "If I do X, it should produce result Y". Your lens on man-woman interaction is wrong. In other words the map in your head of the path on "how to have healthy romantic relationships with women" is false. As you are now coming to understand.

You have got to acknowledge this and then endeavour to learn a new more accurate map. This website is a great resource on learning how to have fulfilling relationships with women. Find out what women are attracted/respond to and begin to model those behaviours.

Be grateful that you are a man. As a man, we can change our behaviours and to become high value and get a high quality/attractive partner. We don't have to worry about getting plastic surgery, BBLs or dread getting older. Our value as men is not determined by our looks or genetics. There was an awesome quote that another poster wrote that stuck with me, I'm paraphrasing but "High value men are built through effort while high value women are simply born". That's why they will be always a scarcity of high value men in comparison to attractive women. High value men are sought out and will always have abundance. You can become one, if you will endeavour to practice the material on this site consistently while reviewing your progress and making the necessary adjustments.

@Blackheart

 

[Chase]

@Blackheart,

Respecting your time, I just want to ask if there is faster way to hide/eliminate "good guy" vibe?

No.

Women are too good at sniffing out your real motives.

You must BECOME an asshole first.

Then you can enjoy the benefits of being an asshole.

I know this because few times I did perfect game with women and they still didn’t want me.

If you did "perfect game" and they still didn't want you, you did not do "perfect game."

"Perfect game" is "ugly, diseased, verminous hobo approaches hot girl and manages to turn her on despite her scruples and disgust."

If you're not turning girls on with it, regardless who "you" are or how you look... then it ain't perfect...

I pressed hard one or two to tell me why

You will never get a real answer this way.

and she mumbled jumbled some things from which I accurately concluded that she saw me as good, honest guy from the very beginning

The single most common let-down reason/framing women give.

The real reason could be anything.

Not saying it isn't that, but that "I asked her what it was and she said this" doesn't give you much at all.

The fact that you do not understand women, are angered by their behavior (which you do not understand), and fail to get results with them (because you don't understand them), should serve as a further indication that you probably should not trust yourself to "accurately conclude" things from women's communication, verbal or otherwise.

Although real and objective things about attraction like VAC, SAC models etc. are core and objective, I believe it would be more helpful for all guys to some articles also reveal assholish female nature. It would be more honest for booh men and women and teach men that women are assholes looking for assholes. On some acceptable way that will help guys to freely accept this female nature. They aren’t silly and cure but assholes and insecure. Simply, asshole will always beat good guy with similar masculinity traits. Maybe not for marriage but for everything other will. And if not, this is only because good guy had other better things in his game and luck that girl choses him although she initially wanted asshole or she didn’t meet any at the time good guy gamed her.

There's a fine line to walk there. The Internet already has so many places where men rant about what horrendous cunts women are. I'm not really interested in "joining the crowd" on that.

It's "Girls Chase" not "Girls Are Cunts."

That said, I could certainly do another reminder article on the fact that girls like assholes / bad boys / guys with a backbone, and are put off by basic "good guy" vibes. We haven't done a piece on that in a while, and guys trying to "good guy" their way into bed with girls is still as common as ever.

Also, one last prayer to you is to tell me some productive way to get rid of my frustration and anger toward women.

Success is the only lasting cure.

Until then, women will continue to be the thing you want, but cannot have.

You will always at least flirt with resentment toward them for that.

However, I can suggest meditation and visualization to help alleviate it somewhat in the meantime:

How to Do a 10-Minute Meditation that Eliminates Bad Emotions

I've been meditating since I was 18 years old. That's half a lifetime ago for me now. I didn't get into meditation as part of any kind of spiritual belief system. I prayed as a child when I was a Christian. But by the time I started meditating, I was an atheist. I'm more spiritual again now...

www.girlschase.com

5 Steps that Let You Visualize Anything into Reality

If you're the kind of hard-nosed, stubborn-headed realist I am, things like visualization usually sound like some kind of hippie-ish New Age flimflam to you the first 10 or 12 times you hear about them. That's how it was for me anyway, and I'd always laugh a little and shake my head dismissively...

www.girlschase.com

Beyond that, learning to be aware of your emotions and release negative ones will be life-changing, not only for women, but for everything:

How to Overcome Depression

Was discussing this on a forum with a guy; I used to talk about it a fair amount, some time back, but it's sort of faded from my life in significance. It just isn't on my mind much these days anymore, but I do remember how big a deal it was for me once, and hopefully my story and process can...

www.girlschase.com

You will need to get to success though.

Very difficult to not resent something you want when you feel like you're blocked from having it.

Chase

 

[DoWhatWorks]

how would you view women's tendency to backwards rationalize various situations and come to false conclusions as a result?

This is a human thing not a girl thing. For example a guy will go to 2 job interviews, get 1 then backward rationalize "I got a bad vibe" at the first place so this was "meant to be". When in reality he just performed better and/or was more qualified.

Then she goes home and backwards rationalizes that because they didn't have sex that night that he must not truly like her and they never had any chemistry or connection after all because of that she resents him and ghosts. Would that also fall under silly

If a girl "resents" you after a date then you either messed up heavily or she's weird lol.

I would argue it's not "silly" but practical. If women want competent lovers then going for a guy who knows how to turn them on, overcome her (token) "resistance" and have sex with them quickly is probably sensible and NOT silly.

After a while you can use backwards rationalizing to your advantage. Nowadays I have "on the edge" girls really liking me because I hit the right escalation windows and know how to make her investment in me in a low effort way.

It's annoying now but you'll reach a point where female nature will work in your favour and you won't want women to change...

 

[Chase]

@Starboy,

@Chase how would you view women's tendency to backwards rationalize various situations and come to false conclusions as a result?

For example girl at the club starts grinding and dancing with a guy. Then they make out,he pulls her to the the bathroom and she gives him a bj. The guy tries to pull her pants off to fuck,but she says she can't cuz she has a bf,but she rationalized everything else up to that point as not cheating in her mind. Does that fall under the category of absurd or is still silly because it's very low self awareness?

For me that is just doltish behavior. It is low self-awareness.

High self-awareness is not going to clubs and grinding on guys in the first place because you have a boyfriend.

Also high self-awareness is going to clubs and grinding on guys and blowing them AND fucking them, despite having a boyfriend, but doing it anyway because you have decided, "You know what? FUCK my boyfriend. If he can't blah blah whatever, then I'm just gonna have fun."

I actually have more respect for the chick who willfully cheats on her boyfriend than the chick who goes halfway and then "Oh no, my boyfriend wouldn't like it if I did that." (I would not knowingly DATE the chick who willfully cheats on her boyfriend, but I can respect it. And look, there I am violating what I just said in the last post about not using the word 'respect' in conjunction with women. I guess I am just as flakey and inconstant as women are! "Chase: Silly and Cute")

Once I was sucking on a girl's tits with her shirt off in bed, and then I went for her pants and she stopped me and said, "No, I can't, my boyfriend wouldn't like it." And I just looked at her, and looked at her tits, and looked at her again, and I asked her, "Well how about this? Would your boyfriend be okay with all this?" and I just started laughing my head off. She gave up resistingx after that point. But I lost all the enjoyment out of it after that because all I could think was, "Damn, this girl is totally lame!"

I think the thing to realize is there are people -- both men AND women -- operating at low levels of self-awareness. We have some of them on this forum These can be very intelligent people, but they just don't really have a clue what is going on, and they run around bumbling into a bunch of situations they don't know how to deal with because they're clueless.

I tend to like high level people, so when I see clueless behavior it is not really something I am going to feel a lot excited by.

(I would add here that certain types of more devious people very much do enjoy low awareness people, because generally low-awareness people are easier to lead into all kinds of situations they might otherwise object to)

However, I am mindful of the fact that clueless, low-awareness behavior is just sort of standard practice for a whole lot of humanity, and if you want to be a humanitarian and a man of the people you have to look kindly on your less aware brethren and sistren.

Or a less extreme example like a guy inviting a girl home after a date where they built a strong connection and the girl is very into the guy. The guy escalates on the girl inside his apartment, she gives him lmr and they don't hook up. Then she goes home and backwards rationalizes that because they didn't have sex that night that he must not truly like her and they never had any chemistry or connection after all because of that she resents him and ghosts. Would that also fall under silly because of her obliviousness?

To me that is actually practical behavior on the girl's part.

It is frustrating for guys losing girls to LMR. It frustrated me for years. But eventually I realized it is actually pretty rational.

We're talking about a ubiquitous behavior women engage in with men all over the world, in every culture. It is not always to the same extent, and not always manifested at exactly the same point of the at-home escalation... for instance, in Japan, girls may put up a mountain of resistance to kissing you at your place, but once you've kissed them, it's all over. In America you will get girls you can get stripped down to their panties without encountering a lick of resistance, but when you go for the panties suddenly you come up against their IRON WILL.

But regardless what point of the escalation to sex you face it at, unless you manage to bypass it altogether (which you can do with tight game or a very willing woman), you are going to encounter it at some point.

Then, if you fail to overcome it, and she leaves, she will backward rationalize that as it being for the best.

The thing to realize is that the escalation to sex is the mating dance of the human species.

The whole courtship ritual is, really, but the escalation to sex is the penultimate part of it, just before coitus, and it is under very heavy evaluation by the girl. Any seduction-killing mistake here is an indication to the woman that this guy probably is not one she wants to mate with.

There are evolutionary reasons why women want to mate with men capable of overcoming LMR. If a man can't overcome her LMR, that says bad things about him... he may not be confident in himself; he probably is not very sexually successful; he may not have clear intentions with women, and is just "going through the motions" with them, abandoning his courtship as soon as he hits an obstacle.

Her read won't always be accurate. I have had girls where I hit LMR, then I stopped, looked at the girl, and was like, "Do I really want this girl? You know what, I just picked her up because she was the only receptive girl available at the end of the night, and now that she's resisting me and I am looking at her face / body I am not really feeling it enough to put up with this." Then I kick the girl out, and she is all flustered, but I'm sure the next day she will have settled on "Well, I doubtless dodged a bullet there! That guy didn't deserve me at all!" which is fine; I don't really care.

If she was a girl I wanted and I failed to overcome LMR... that really is not a thing I have dealt with too much... if I want it bad enough I will pretty much always figure out a way to overcome her resistance... but it has happened on occasion... even then, it is sad, but my thought on it is just, "Well, it wasn't meant to be," which is sort of the mirror image of the girl's thought, I suppose.

However, like the girl, I am also done with her once I've tried escalating on her once and failed.

I think a lot of guys think, "Well, I got so close last time, maybe I can try again!"

My mindset has always been, "If you get right up to the finish line but can't get over it, that's it, you're done. She's gonna think you're an impotent, sterile manlet, and you won't get another shot."

I might throw a few attempts out after her every now and again just in case she bites, but usually it is totally done at that point, which is what I expect.

To me that's not a silly or cute thing, or something to be angry about; it is just a part of the mating dance.

Kinda like if you get up on stage to show your dance routine for the dance off, but then you trip on one of the floorboards on the stage and fall on your face and have to slink off the stage in humiliation. The judges are going to score you poorly and you aren't going to win, even if you're normally an ace dancer, but you screwed up, so that's what happens, you won't win that competition.

You don't get angry at the judges, or the audience, and hopefully not at yourself either... accidents happen... all you can do is try to stay on your feet and make it through your routine next time if you want that award.

Same deal with LMR. If you want the shag, and you want her to think well of you, you have to see the courtship through, and not have an abortive, "fell flat on your face" escalation to sex.

Chase

 

[Rakehell]

One of them I only worked with a month, and allll the other guys there complained was a huge bitch to them. I had no issues with her, but I came in with a bunch of seniority already and she was pretty hands-off with me, so maybe I got different treatment than the rest of the staff did.

Had this once. She was definitely Cluster B. Lot’s of yelling, taking her emotions out on girls and guy’s, her turnover rate was ridiculous, lot’s of people in, and out.

I think you have to have a good amount of resistance to stressful environments to reap the benefits of really emotional people behind the wheel.

Oddly enough she was sweet on me and the times she did get batty i’d kind of look at her funny, and she’d get girly. There was a point where I think she wanted to sleep with me (lots and lots of subtle and sometimes overt touching) and ended up auto rejecting for a little while until she found herself a boyfriend.

When she was over me she was over me though haha, nomore incentives, just straight to the point (although still soft in her communication). Nomore slacking on the job on my end either.

 

[SteelbookCollector]

i think its common for a lot of men to feel this way, because they are jealous of women because they feel women have it better than men do in dating, the human mating game, and men are dealt with the short end of the stick.