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- Aug 14, 2019
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- 55
People don't respect you if you are unnecessarily nice to them. Applicable to both genders; an example.
Before I can give the example I want to share with you guys, I need to give you a little information about my native tongue. I am Indian. Hindi is my native language. There are two ways people address you in Hindi. One is when you are addressing someone who is your equal or younger than you, for example "tum" meaning "you". Whereas when you address someone who is your elder, your teacher or anyone who you would want to address with some respect, you'd not use "tum" here but "aap". Both of these words mean the same thing, that is, "you" but their usage is different. This goes for a lot of stuff. Even verbs. "Tum ye karo" and "Aap ye kariye", both mean "You do this" but you'd say the latter to someone who you want to show a little respect (Which we should to strangers!)
I hope that's clear so let me give my anecdote. I joined the gym roughly 4 months ago. I am 28 and have some fat I need to get rid of. There is a guy there who is not actually a trainer, I guess you could say he's a "busboy" of sorts, rearranging weights, putting them back on the rack, helping someone with his bench press etc, you get the gist. When I joined the gym, as is my nature, I treated him with respect as well. I'd use "aap" instead of "tum" and shook his hands when I met him. Slowly I started to notice that he became \*too\* friendly with me, like, talking to me as if I am his pupil or something. Doing gym for the first time in my life, I had trouble with the barbell curls and he'd say "Dum lagao..kya khaate ho" (Push it, do it, what do you even eat) and general berating stuff making me feel I am too weak. Point to note here is that he used the "tum" version of words instead of "aap". Whereas others were treating him with a lot of rough words, basically, treating him as a busboy. And guess what? He always addressed them with deference and respect. So I am the one who is being nice to him and he chooses to be nice to those who treat him like his inferior.
So, I changed my behaviour like a switch. Overnight. I started being dry and straightforward, not "deigning" to acknowledge his presence until I needed something like a dumbell. When he'd then stay stuff like "Try harder etc", I would look straight into his eyes but say nothing. Guess what? Now he has stopped addressing me as he did and has become much more soft spoken and does not pass any comments to me about my abilities.
I know it's not a huge eye-opening example of the generalized red pill principles, but for me, it was and, I believe the same principle applies in all the human interactions.
Do nice things for people but don't "be" unnecessarily nice to people. They should feel that they need to earn your respect and it's not something you'd give out to everyone. Only then will people respect you. I wish the dynamics weren't like that but like they say: it really do be like that sometimes.
Before I can give the example I want to share with you guys, I need to give you a little information about my native tongue. I am Indian. Hindi is my native language. There are two ways people address you in Hindi. One is when you are addressing someone who is your equal or younger than you, for example "tum" meaning "you". Whereas when you address someone who is your elder, your teacher or anyone who you would want to address with some respect, you'd not use "tum" here but "aap". Both of these words mean the same thing, that is, "you" but their usage is different. This goes for a lot of stuff. Even verbs. "Tum ye karo" and "Aap ye kariye", both mean "You do this" but you'd say the latter to someone who you want to show a little respect (Which we should to strangers!)
I hope that's clear so let me give my anecdote. I joined the gym roughly 4 months ago. I am 28 and have some fat I need to get rid of. There is a guy there who is not actually a trainer, I guess you could say he's a "busboy" of sorts, rearranging weights, putting them back on the rack, helping someone with his bench press etc, you get the gist. When I joined the gym, as is my nature, I treated him with respect as well. I'd use "aap" instead of "tum" and shook his hands when I met him. Slowly I started to notice that he became \*too\* friendly with me, like, talking to me as if I am his pupil or something. Doing gym for the first time in my life, I had trouble with the barbell curls and he'd say "Dum lagao..kya khaate ho" (Push it, do it, what do you even eat) and general berating stuff making me feel I am too weak. Point to note here is that he used the "tum" version of words instead of "aap". Whereas others were treating him with a lot of rough words, basically, treating him as a busboy. And guess what? He always addressed them with deference and respect. So I am the one who is being nice to him and he chooses to be nice to those who treat him like his inferior.
So, I changed my behaviour like a switch. Overnight. I started being dry and straightforward, not "deigning" to acknowledge his presence until I needed something like a dumbell. When he'd then stay stuff like "Try harder etc", I would look straight into his eyes but say nothing. Guess what? Now he has stopped addressing me as he did and has become much more soft spoken and does not pass any comments to me about my abilities.
I know it's not a huge eye-opening example of the generalized red pill principles, but for me, it was and, I believe the same principle applies in all the human interactions.
Do nice things for people but don't "be" unnecessarily nice to people. They should feel that they need to earn your respect and it's not something you'd give out to everyone. Only then will people respect you. I wish the dynamics weren't like that but like they say: it really do be like that sometimes.
Take the fundamental lessons from Girlschase but adjust accordingly until you know how. Every culture is different. Tread carefully because it's a quicksand.