How trustworthy are girls who ‘cheat’ to get with you?

SpeedZone95

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Nov 28, 2018
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Hello
So I’ve had this question for a while now and I wasn’t able to find an exact article that addresses it.

Long story short, I’ve been hanging out with this girl as friends for a good two years, but two months ago something happened that made us admit to each other that we liked each other all along and that *bummer* she’s been talking to a man for around a year.

At that moment I couldn’t imagine leaving her be so I told her that she should choose and to my surprise the next day she chose me. So at that point I asked her to tell the guy shes been seeing that she’s leaving but she told me it’s hard as he’s only ever been good to her and she doesn’t want to break his heart.
Now fast forward two months of us thinking we’re doine then going back and I’m still confused and anxious about this whole relationship.
I don’t want to be the cause for her to end her relationship with the man ( mind you they only went on dates and talked endlessly on text but did nothing else ) and at the same time we like each other a lot and we think we have potential for a successful relationship.

All that’s running through my mind atm is that if she can cheat with her emotions on this man she might do that in the future to me, I’m not sure how likely that is and how to proceed with my thoughts or actions

And I would really appreciate professional insight
 

Hue

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
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Sep 21, 2016
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To answer your title, the words of a close friend of mine deep into self improvement, "If she cheats once, you better believe she'll do it again".

Basically, if she cheats, it's taught her / reinforced the idea that cheating is okay some of the time. If you're looking for an exclusive relationship with a girl like that, I'd be cautious.


So at that point I asked her to tell the guy shes been seeing that she’s leaving but she told me it’s hard as he’s only ever been good to her and she doesn’t want to break his heart.
Now fast forward two months of us thinking we’re doine then going back and I’m still confused and anxious about this whole relationship.
I don’t want to be the cause for her to end her relationship with the man ( mind you they only went on dates and talked endlessly on text but did nothing else ) and at the same time we like each other a lot and we think we have potential for a successful relationship.
Then she isn't that into him. She feels bad about breaking up with him because she doesn't want to hurt his feelings. Very common for women to be nonconfrontational like this.

If you seduce her it would probably (and swiftly) put an end to their "relationship" as it currently stands. She may still have bad feelings about it though, which is bad, but would eventually resolve itself assuming you continue to have maintenance and grow your relationship with her.

If you stick around and keep presenting yourself as the better option she may eventually confront their problem (sounds like no arousal or real intimacy if they're just dating & texting - as in no sex) and then you'd still have her / have bedded her without the potential buyer's remorse from sleeping with her while they're still seeing each other.


Either way, be sure to try and bed her quickly given an opportunity you're okay with so you don't end up in the same hole he did of texting and dating without real intimacy. Sounds like he took it slow and is seeing the backlash from doing that. Don't be him.

Hue
 

SpeedZone95

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Even if she only cheated to be with me? And the idea is that there’s nothing official binding them other than their future plans together, so I’m still skeptical to call it cheating or not

And I like your answer regarding their problem, as it gives us a legitimate cause to end their relationship and gives me an important notice not to forget so that our relationship wouldn’t end up like her old one

Thanks
 

Jakeroviks

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Oct 27, 2018
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If your friend was a bank robber and you robbed banks together, would you trust him with your wallet?
 
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