How/ When to Reengage When Text is Unanswered

[SMaol]

Hi all

I've seen @Skills has recommended rebuilding some text rapport/ momentum where a soft close is not acknowledged directly by the girl. But what about when ignored entirely?

Here's a recent example I'd love some insight on (it's pretty much similar to https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/great-vibe-but-now-texting-silence-worth-re-engaging.30658/). My story as follows:

We met on a busy night as I'm on shift at my nightclub job. some teasing and flirting later and this girl's friend is wingmanning her number into my phone. A later night she comes in just to see me before heading to other venues. Late at night she stops by again tapping on the locked door. I open. You look like you still have energy I say.
Yes
So what are we doing now
What do you have in mind? I suggest we go to mine. She looks like she's seriously considering it but her friends, now considerably less supportive is trying to drag her off (We need to catch the last bus now!).

We need to go... sorry.

I smile. You don't seem happy about going...

Not really

I persist. Again she is looking seriously turned on and considering as I stroke her hand. I'm aware her friends are watching us and teasing so I keep the vibe as inconspicuous as possible.

My best friend is staying at mine so I don't really have a choice. Another time she says. Promise.

I let her go with a smile.

2 days later I ping message a short exchange (4 texts each) as follows:

me: Good morning

her: Haha its the afternoon, just wake up?
her: But hey name it's been a hot minute

me: Yes, was lost in some fun dreams
me: Extra busy night yesterday, just missing a little you on the bar

her: Oh really? what makes them fun??
her: I was working to hahaha, too bad for us

me: Well you were part of some of them
me: Working tonight as well. How goes your sat

her: Oh now you have to tell me when we see each other again
her: Not bad, just got home and crashing to sleep. Have a beautiful shift, talk to lots of people for me

(12hr later, after shift)
me: Yess, and sounds good
me: I get my rota soon why don't we grab a bite or something when we're both free

4 days no response. As for proceeding:

- How should I reengage in such a situation? (given the time that has passed). Is it generally better to message sooner or later?
- For future: what in my request may have triggered her to go silent? My instincts say getting food may have be too formal, but conversely inviting over directly would have been too aggressive(?)

 

[Skills]

Calls & Texts - when you soft close and she ignores it and when she soft close and you ignore it

This is something i covered in other post but not quite so i am going to make a kind of clarification/troubleshoot post.... If you soft close a girl and she does not bite, she knows what you are doing and she is playing stupid to save face and avoid an uncomfortable situation, a lot of girls...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[SMaol]

Hey, Skills!

This was the post of yours I referenced.

So if I understand your post you think she is likely uninterested/ unavailable cuz of something I did/ did not do - would that warrant a ping to banter or takeaway here?

 

[Brassfaced_Jim]

Hey SMaol
It’s been like a week now yeah .. I’d ping her with somthing like

((((Bumppp)))

just that. A nudge.
If she replies with “haha blah blah” and some kind of “sorry I been busy with x” she may still be keen . Coulda gotten busy and forgot u tbh. Chicks get busy with all sorts.

and later if no reply u could just text again with

“y u no wanna come hang with me tho? “
or just
“U no wanna hang “

May work…..

 

[Brassfaced_Jim]

When chats fizzle out/go dead for me I just cut to the chase sometimes with

“ soooo… u like me or nah?”

If it’s a nah I’m ok with it. But May still keep the fishing line in the pond so to speak. U never know. She may be seeing someone atm,

 

[Skills]

Hey, Skills!

This was the post of yours I referenced.

So if I understand your post you think she is likely uninterested/ unavailable cuz of something I did/ did not do - would that warrant a ping to banter or takeaway here?

No necessarily... Sometimes you lose momentum or things get cold... sometimes they just don't want to say no and easier to ghost a bit, sometimes they are not that invested...

 

[Skills]

When chats fizzle out/go dead for me I just cut to the chase sometimes with

“ soooo… u like me or nah?”

If it’s a nah I’m ok with it. But May still keep the fishing line in the pond so to speak. U never know. She may be seeing someone atm,

Both of your replies are bad

.

 

[Chase]

@Brassfaced_Jim,

When chats fizzle out/go dead for me I just cut to the chase sometimes with

“ soooo… u like me or nah?”

Sometimes it is useful to back girls into a corner and force them to make a black-white decision.

However, when it is a.) over distance and b.) already with you in the losing / being flaked on position, it puts you at a strong disadvantage.

Most girls will get an "Ugh" feeling, being asked to tell you if they "like you" or not.

Some may be nice and tell you "Sure! You're a really fun guy!" (nice guy treatment)... others will say "Sorry, I'm not dating right now" to call it off... you will get some "Hey, sorry, just been really busy" ones where they don't completely close it off... instead they are apologizing for why they haven't been able to meet while you have been patiently waiting around for them.

Need to be very sensitive of the frames you set, including over text.

Anything that says, "Hey, I have been waiting for you, thinking about you, I like you, do you like me? Because you haven't been responding and have been ignoring me!" puts you hard in the chase position.

If you have a girl who isn't responding, just send her the ball-in-her-court text, rather than trying to get her to pin her down over text. Then you can forget all about her, as if she told you "nah" -- but there is a much higher chance she comes back and it turns into something later.

Chase

 

[Brassfaced_Jim]

@Brassfaced_Jim,



Sometimes it is useful to back girls into a corner and force them to make a black-white decision.

However, when it is a.) over distance and b.) already with you in the losing / being flaked on position, it puts you at a strong disadvantage.

Most girls will get an "Ugh" feeling, being asked to tell you if they "like you" or not.

Some may be nice and tell you "Sure! You're a really fun guy!" (nice guy treatment)... others will say "Sorry, I'm not dating right now" to call it off... you will get some "Hey, sorry, just been really busy" ones where they don't completely close it off... instead they are apologizing for why they haven't been able to meet while you have been patiently waiting around for them.

Need to be very sensitive of the frames you set, including over text.

Anything that says, "Hey, I have been waiting for you, thinking about you, I like you, do you like me? Because you haven't been responding and have been ignoring me!" puts you hard in the chase position.

If you have a girl who isn't responding, just send her the ball-in-her-court text, rather than trying to get her to pin her down over text. Then you can forget all about her, as if she told you "nah" -- but there is a much higher chance she comes back and it turns into something later.

Chase

Awesome thanks Chase I’ll try that next time! cheers for the reply. Jim

 

[Brassfaced_Jim]

Honestly , online is tough.
There are so many girls just using it to browse for giggles, curiosity, validation, and just general messing around etc with no real intention. I’m chatting to a girl atm that’s been on 2 days and already 100 likes. And she is very average looking. I wonder if the best approach is not taking it seriously at all…