Hugging at the end on an interaction

[lux7]

I often -actually most of the times- hug girls at the end of the very first conversation.

It's not something I'm doing as a "PUA move" but more like a natural thing for me: both when I see and when I'm saying goodbye to my close friends I hug them most of the times.

However sometimes women are not expecting it and for some of them I can feel it's a bit "forced" and only go for it because I've already spread my arms and taken a step forward.

Do you think it could come across as "too much" and make me look as a bit of a weirdo (people don't hug strangers and acquaintances in the street) ?

 

[mkivtt]

I think it's a bit too much.

If you have to do it, then do the "one-armed" hug where you just lightly lean foward, touch shoulders and "tap" them on their back. But a full-fledged two handed hug would be intimidating. I guess you can pull it of if you are super attractive and smooth but if you were you wouldn't be on this board

 

[Richard]

On the contrary, I use this, and so does AsianPersuasion. After deep diving a girl, number closing, and understanding when a girl is into you, you should hug her as a closer, don't simply hug her though. Just, as the two of you say your goodbyes, throw in the simple one word question, "Hug?"

I've yet to meet a girl who doesn't agree to it. Then, as MK was stating, you could do the one armed light hug, or a two armed light hug, I usually do one arm over the right shoulder to the small of the back. Likewise, how she hugs you in response can tell you how interested she is in you.

-Richard

 

[PinotNoir]

I don't know, man. I think it depends on a case-by-case basis.

If you're not on a date with a girl and just met her, I usually do not hug, but it depends on your "style." If you're wanting a James Bond style, then he would never hug on the first meet. Instead he'd hold lingering eye contact and say "looking forward to it" with a nice soft, low bedroom voice I think (and maybe a warm touch on the shoulder). You can say just as much with strong eye contact. However, if your style is more outgoing and social, then the hug makes sense. Also, if you were introduced by a friend and/or everyone is hugging around you, then it may just make more sense to hug at the end of the interaction.

I say don't do it. On a first date, I think it's okay though -- as this may give you a chance to kiss right after the hug as you hold eye contact. But that's for the end of the night. When you first meet, I've had better success with kissing a girl on the cheek than hugging.

But, like I said, if your style is outgoing and social and it's working, then stick to that. Some girls love loveable guys.

 

[Richard]

Agree with Pinot about the first date, but I was referring to a first meet. At the end of a number close I find it does wonders to hug, and I make full use of that hug. But on a first date, definitely close with a kiss!

 

[Estate]

I often -actually most of the times- hug girls at the end of the very first conversation.

It's not something I'm doing as a "PUA move" but more like a natural thing for me: both when I see and when I'm saying goodbye to my close friends I hug them most of the times.

However sometimes women are not expecting it and for some of them I can feel it's a bit "forced" and only go for it because I've already spread my arms and taken a step forward.

Do you think it could come across as "too much" and make me look as a bit of a weirdo (people don't hug strangers and acquaintances in the street) ?

I do this too... but only when it feels "right".
I agree, it's not a PUA move... I have some guy friends that I'd greet with a big and a big pat on the back and I have guy friends I'd greet with a handshake or just a nod... it depends on your level of "closeness" to the person.
Same goes for girls I know... I'll hug some when I first see them or am leaving them or some I don't at all... it's all about level of comfort between you.

So when it comes to picking up a girl or the start or end of a date, how exactly you touch (or don't) them comes down to their level of comfort. I generally find if your pickup goes well the girl will almost initiate the hug goodbye, and even if not fully just extend one arm as if to say "Come give me a hug" and most girls will.
It's usually a sign of a good pickup, especially if she appears to go for a hug when you first meet her the next time.

I've had some girls get a bit awkward though... really it's a sign that she's either not really into you or you may be just ejecting a little early without having built enough comfort with her meaning there is a good chance of her flaking later on. With experience you learn to read the girls body language... if a girl doesn't seem that into you, it's better to just chalk it up, pleasantly tell her to have a good night and eject, if there's any chance with her, she might actually be wondering why you just sort of left it and come back to you later, but generally if you're reading it right then she's not game and you are better spending your time on someone who is. If she seems into you but is not really getting close to you, you probably need to stay with her a little longer before ejecting since she probably likes you but you haven't really made her feel 100% comfortable yet.

It's all about learning to read body language. I notice things now that I'd never have noticed a year ago. Its just experience.

 

[NarrowJ]

I always hug a girl if the interaction went well and she seems into me. I like to say, with sexy eyes a big smile "Well you better give me a hug!" and I don't think I have ever had a girl say no. I like saying it that way. Thinking subliminally here, the very last thing that happened was you making a demand for her to be physical with you, and her complying with it. Huge frame-setter. Additionally, as Zphix stated, what kind of hug and how tightly she grips you is a very good indicator for you too.

 

[Thedoctor]

Hey all,

I hug every chick I know at the end of every interaction I have with em. Friends, co-workers, randoms I just met etc. Just like I'll give every guy a "farewell" handshake. I honestly never thought about how it was perceived. I just do it. If someone doesn't react to it the right way, I don't think it's the hug they don't like. It may have been something that happened prior to the hug, and then the hug is totally uncalled for in their minds. That being said there are some people out there that aren't into touching/ contact. But that's a very small amount of people.

All in all, who doesn't like a good hug, particularly a naked one? Ha ha

-Doc

 

[lux7]

I don't know, man. I think it depends on a case-by-case basis.

If you're not on a date with a girl and just met her, I usually do not hug, but it depends on your "style." If you're wanting a James Bond style, then he would never hug on the first meet. Instead he'd hold lingering eye contact and say "looking forward to it" with a nice soft, low bedroom voice I think (and maybe a warm touch on the shoulder). You can say just as much with strong eye contact. However, if your style is more outgoing and social, then the hug makes sense. Also, if you were introduced by a friend and/or everyone is hugging around you, then it may just make more sense to hug at the end of the interaction.

I say don't do it. On a first date, I think it's okay though -- as this may give you a chance to kiss right after the hug as you hold eye contact. But that's for the end of the night. When you first meet, I've had better success with kissing a girl on the cheek than hugging.

But, like I said, if your style is outgoing and social and it's working, then stick to that. Some girls love loveable guys.

That's exactly what I was thinking about.
Not the Bond's thing, but that it could come off too "juvenile" and "friendly-ish".

Anyway, yes as you say depends on occasions and also how you deliver it..

 

[Estate]

Just to add one last thought...

One thing I HATE about PUA or seduction or whatever you want to call it is that guys always want the "secret formula". Heck, I've been guilty of this too in the past.
Sure, we can break interactions down and see patterns of things which help you to connect with someone or otherwise but there is just no secret formula to this.

It's never a case of "Do I always hug girls or do I never hug girls"... it's not black on white.

Put simply, humans like close physical contact or intimacy from people they are comfortable with. There is no such thing as "does hugging work or not"... there are so many other variables up to the point where this might happen:
Where are you? Who else is around? How well do you know each other? Is she/you naturally flirty and known to hug all people or does it take time to build up that intimacy? How open was she to your approach? What is her body language telling you? Is she already leaning in and brushing against you as you talk? Was your request to swap numbers met with a "Eeeehhh...... suuuuure ok"? And on and on I could go...

You have to learn to read all these signs. As I said, if the interaction goes well and she's REALLY into you, she will almost initiate the hug. In that case, turning around and walking off as you give your "Bond look" and leave her hanging when she wanted the hug makes you look like a dick.
On the other hand, if she is on the fence about you, maybe a little standoffish still, but is waiting to see what you come up with after getting her number, then forcing the hug will just kill it. It's awkward, you clearly didn't read her interest and now you are forcing investment from her. If I was the girl I'd be a little turned off that a guy was too handsy before I gave him the green light so to speak.

So if it felt awkward then either she is not into you or you forced the interaction too much.