- Joined
- Nov 20, 2012
- Messages
- 528
"Now, we're willing to go out on a ledge here and say that if you are not currently achieving the level of success you want in your life, you are probably not hearing the word "no" often enough.
But it's not just you. Most people do not fail anywhere nearly enough. Most people spend most of their waking hours doing the exact opposite-spending enormous mental and physical effort trying to avoid failure with everything they have—a strategy guaranteed to produce average results and a mediocre income." - Steve Siebold (Entrepreneur)
Rejection.
Failure.
Dismissal.
Three words that all embody the very thing that so many men in this space seek to avoid.
Yet trying to avoid these things is the very reason you haven't yet achieved the thing you do want....
Success.
Success is made up of many things.
Hard work, learning, having an open mind, positive thinking.
But ultimately achieving success with women, especially with women whom you meet from cold approach, comes from the number of rejections you are willing to endure.
"When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and i know it was not that last blow that did it, but all that had gone before." - Jacob Riis
You can only learn so much from reading (or listening or watching) about seduction. At some point you need to gain real experience that only comes from meeting and attempting to seduce real women.
All to often someone will tell me that have "been at this for a while" and still not having success. When I dive deeper I learn that regardless of their perceived time spent learning this, the amount of women they have actually cold approached is absurdly low. If you want to get good you need to put in the reps.
No short cuts!
Think of your favorite seducer. Could be Chase, Alek, Mystery, the UMP guys, one of the RSD guys.... anyone.
Every single one of them gets rejected by more girls than they lay.
Every. Single. One.
It doesn't matter how good you become....
How funny, how smart, how smooth and charming...
You are going to get rejected. A lot.
The more reps and experience you get the less you will get rejected but it will always be a mainstay of The Game. If you want to meet and seduce lots of amazing women you had better make peace with it.
You must understand that "no" is part of the process of getting to "yes."
Some girls will reject you because you completely fumble it. That's fine! You have to fuck up to learn. Take lessons from it and move on to the next one.
But others will reject you for reasons that have nothing much to do with you.
Doesn't matter. Can you learn something from the rejection? If so, learn the lesson and move on. If not, move on.
Just fucking move!
What if you woke up and a genie told you that today you would meet your absolute dream girl. The catch? You have no idea which women you see today that that girl. What do you do? Let your dream girl pass by? Or do you start approaching?
Put another way, if I led you into a room with 30 boxes and told you that inside one was a million dollars, would you not open a bunch of empty boxes in-order to find the money?
After getting the million would you regret coming up empty with the other 29 boxes? Of course not!
It's no different with women.
Make it a game!
An exercise I used to do with clients:
(Side note: A good way to do this is to find out what your weekly budget is for something you buy every week and don't allow yourself to buy that thing unless you earned that much money from rejections. For example: I had a client that always loved getting coffee and a bagel in the morning. Total cost was right under seven dollars. So when learning day game he would have to get rejected seven times every morning before he would allow himself to stop at the cafe and get his coffee and bagel.)
And there is a good chance that you won't get all 30 of your dollars into your right pocket before having some kind of success and having to take the money out and put it back into your left pocket.
Measure activity, not just closes
If you judge "success" solely on the number of closes you got, you will have a long hard road in front of you. Change the metrics for success.
Every "no" gives you experience and gets you closer to that awesome "yes."
It's for this reason that every no can be conceded a mini-success! You are following the process and that is something to be celebrated.
A day (or night) full or rejections is better than a day (or night) of sitting on your couch wishing you had the balls to go out and meet women.
Have ZERO shame in your rejections because you are doing something that the other 99 men only wishes they had the grit to do.
You can make the approaches, rejection be dammned, or you can lay in your bed regretting your misses opportunities later. It is your choice and no one can make it for you.
FIVE TRUTHS ABOUT FEAR (From "What to say when you talk to yourself" by Dr. Shad Helmstetter)
Everything you want in life is on the other side of discipline and facing your fears.
Are you willing todo what it takes to get what you want?
"I never see failure as failure, but only as a learning experience."
"I never see failure as failure, but only as the negative feedback I need to change course in my direction."
"I never see failure as failure, but only as the opportunity to develop my sense of humor."
"I never see failure as failure, but only as an opportunity to practice my techniques and perfect my performance."
"I never see failure as failure, but only as the game I must play to win." - Morning affirmations from master door to door solar salesman, Taylor McCarthy.
Stop reading. Go get rejected.
But it's not just you. Most people do not fail anywhere nearly enough. Most people spend most of their waking hours doing the exact opposite-spending enormous mental and physical effort trying to avoid failure with everything they have—a strategy guaranteed to produce average results and a mediocre income." - Steve Siebold (Entrepreneur)
Rejection.
Failure.
Dismissal.
Three words that all embody the very thing that so many men in this space seek to avoid.
Yet trying to avoid these things is the very reason you haven't yet achieved the thing you do want....
Success.
Success is made up of many things.
Hard work, learning, having an open mind, positive thinking.
But ultimately achieving success with women, especially with women whom you meet from cold approach, comes from the number of rejections you are willing to endure.
"When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and i know it was not that last blow that did it, but all that had gone before." - Jacob Riis
You can only learn so much from reading (or listening or watching) about seduction. At some point you need to gain real experience that only comes from meeting and attempting to seduce real women.
All to often someone will tell me that have "been at this for a while" and still not having success. When I dive deeper I learn that regardless of their perceived time spent learning this, the amount of women they have actually cold approached is absurdly low. If you want to get good you need to put in the reps.
No short cuts!
Think of your favorite seducer. Could be Chase, Alek, Mystery, the UMP guys, one of the RSD guys.... anyone.
Every single one of them gets rejected by more girls than they lay.
Every. Single. One.
It doesn't matter how good you become....
How funny, how smart, how smooth and charming...
You are going to get rejected. A lot.
The more reps and experience you get the less you will get rejected but it will always be a mainstay of The Game. If you want to meet and seduce lots of amazing women you had better make peace with it.
You must understand that "no" is part of the process of getting to "yes."
Some girls will reject you because you completely fumble it. That's fine! You have to fuck up to learn. Take lessons from it and move on to the next one.
But others will reject you for reasons that have nothing much to do with you.
- She is committed and pair-bonded and not open to other men.
- She is gay.
- Her cat just died and doesn't care about men right now.
- Her jerk BF, Gregory, just broke up with her and stole her shit and she hates men at the current moment.
- She thinks you are too amazing and will just hurt her or that you aren't being serious (yes this is a thing that women reject men over).
Doesn't matter. Can you learn something from the rejection? If so, learn the lesson and move on. If not, move on.
Just fucking move!
What if you woke up and a genie told you that today you would meet your absolute dream girl. The catch? You have no idea which women you see today that that girl. What do you do? Let your dream girl pass by? Or do you start approaching?
Put another way, if I led you into a room with 30 boxes and told you that inside one was a million dollars, would you not open a bunch of empty boxes in-order to find the money?
After getting the million would you regret coming up empty with the other 29 boxes? Of course not!
It's no different with women.
Make it a game!
An exercise I used to do with clients:
- Put 30 $1 dollar bills in your left pocket.
- Go meet women.
- Every time you strike out take a dollar from your left pocket and transfer it to your right pocket.
- Any time you get a number, a kiss, a insta date, or you pull her, all the money goes back into your left pocket.
- At the end of the day/night/session, take whatever money is in your right pocket and go reward yourself by buying yourself something.
(Side note: A good way to do this is to find out what your weekly budget is for something you buy every week and don't allow yourself to buy that thing unless you earned that much money from rejections. For example: I had a client that always loved getting coffee and a bagel in the morning. Total cost was right under seven dollars. So when learning day game he would have to get rejected seven times every morning before he would allow himself to stop at the cafe and get his coffee and bagel.)
And there is a good chance that you won't get all 30 of your dollars into your right pocket before having some kind of success and having to take the money out and put it back into your left pocket.
Measure activity, not just closes
If you judge "success" solely on the number of closes you got, you will have a long hard road in front of you. Change the metrics for success.
Every "no" gives you experience and gets you closer to that awesome "yes."
It's for this reason that every no can be conceded a mini-success! You are following the process and that is something to be celebrated.
A day (or night) full or rejections is better than a day (or night) of sitting on your couch wishing you had the balls to go out and meet women.
Have ZERO shame in your rejections because you are doing something that the other 99 men only wishes they had the grit to do.
You can make the approaches, rejection be dammned, or you can lay in your bed regretting your misses opportunities later. It is your choice and no one can make it for you.
FIVE TRUTHS ABOUT FEAR (From "What to say when you talk to yourself" by Dr. Shad Helmstetter)
- The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow.
- The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out... and do it.
- The only way to feel better about myself is to go out... and do it.
- Not only am I going to experience fear whenever I'm on unfamiliar territory, but so is everyone else.
- Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness.
Everything you want in life is on the other side of discipline and facing your fears.
Are you willing todo what it takes to get what you want?
"I never see failure as failure, but only as a learning experience."
"I never see failure as failure, but only as the negative feedback I need to change course in my direction."
"I never see failure as failure, but only as the opportunity to develop my sense of humor."
"I never see failure as failure, but only as an opportunity to practice my techniques and perfect my performance."
"I never see failure as failure, but only as the game I must play to win." - Morning affirmations from master door to door solar salesman, Taylor McCarthy.
Stop reading. Go get rejected.
