Iʼm taking an “indefinite vacation” to Africa

ThePhoenix

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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On an otherwise mostly useless thread, Seppuku made an insightful remark which made me realize I had to get the hell off the fence Iʼd been spinning on for months and either (i) desecrate my mind by somehow warping and twisting it into hitting on the non‑black girls that make up 91% of my city, or (ii) move to Africa in order to relieve the scarcity that not doing so is perpetuating.  One way or another, I had to open up to something that could potentially change the course of my life.

Of course, knowing me, (i) is out of the question, so (ii) it is, and Seppuku responded to this into a different thread, ironically about HIV in Africa.  I donʼt want to derail Reeʼs simultaneously hilarious and poignant report, thus the new thread.

Seppuku said:
@Ree,
seppuku can tell u how beautiful our women are
He knows that already! And by the way Ree, your original post is hilarious! I do stand with Phoenix with everything he said though. Nice analysis of him.

@Phoenix
Iʼd like to answer here about your post on the other thread - enough feeding our troll friend Space. Iʼm glad that my post there was useful to you at least, because our friend seems completely closed to any argument from us anyway.

About making the move to Africa. What Iʼd advise you, instead of taking an abrupt leap into the unknown (with potential consequences for your business I think), is to continue to learn game in your current city, but allow yourself to open up your target market. Just donʼt let yourself domesticated by the first woman you eventually get a hold on (which is the case with guys here more often than not)! You could, for example, open up to tourist girls (whatever skin color) - which are usually very open to casual encounters. Or whatever. But open up!

From all your posts, you have the right way of thinking - although not internalized yet. What you absolutely need is much more dates. So you need to multiply the opportunities by any means you can.

For now, just view all this as a learning experience, and put aside the goal of going for your ideal target woman.  Getting your target woman type will be for stage two of your learning. It is at this stage counterproductive to limit yourself to a small target segment. Since there are few of them, you are putting yourself into a frame of scarcity - which is the number one killer.

The reason to learn getting girls where you are, is this. In an African country, you will certainly gather a lot of attention as a middle aged white man, but you will still absolutely need a strong frame - or else a strong African mama will catch you, lock you and make you bleed your money. Donʼt laugh it off! They are very good at that, they know what they are doing, and they are also used to deal with strong dominant males - much more than our western white ladies. Your best antidote to that is a very strong frame.

Another reason is, if you can get somewhat good in a hard place like where you are, you will have it easy anywhere else. But the opposite is not true.

And yes, in the meantime, please get yourself some short vacations there to feel the place and see if you can live there, and get a try at the local girls.

Seppuku
Hey Seppuku, (and anyone interested),

I do appreciate the concern.  I realize it must look pretty rash from outside, but itʼs something Iʼve put much thought into.

First I should clarify that by “move” I donʼt mean it in the usual sense of dismantling my existence here and transplanting it entirely.  Thatʼd be pretty rash indeed!  My actual plan is more of an “indefinite vacation.”  The costs of doing it that way are a bit higher, but more bounded, predictable and controllable.  It keeps open the important option of going home quickly and easily whenever I want.  That also lets me, as you suggest, get a feel for it and see if Iʼd want to be there indefinitely or not.

I have to believe that, while there are some cultural differences, at the end of the day, women are women, so a guy from anywhere should be able to learn game anywhere - assuming heʼs willing to hit on most of the women there.  (That last part is the critical factor for me!)  If youʼre in a 500k+ city and youʼre not getting any pussy, itʼs not the girls, itʼs that you havenʼt learned good game yet.


[ target market ]


My thing is, I wonʼt touch anything other than black women.  Theyʼve been embedded in my personality since late adolescence, and Iʼm extremely stubborn about sticking to them.  I have about as much willingness to hit on other kinds as most guys have hitting on transsexuals - and neither of those aversions is any more or less justifiable.  Iʼve already decided Iʼm not breaking that unless Iʼve first tried every other conceivable option including living in Africa.

I should clarify I do hit on all sorts of black girls who arenʼt anywhere near my extremely picky ideal, so itʼs not about demanding my ideal.  Nairobi is not going to surround me in my ideal.  If anywhere could even approach that, itʼd be Juba; but between the security situation there and having to learn new language(s), that would be reckless!  All Nairobi would do is give me the normalcy that most guys on this board already enjoy, where a decent fraction of the women around you are decently appealing to you.


[ strong mamas ]


I am worried about gold diggers, but not because theyʼll catch me.

To lock a guy, that guy has to believe in monogamy and/or that sheʼs his only option.  Iʼm probably more opposed to monogamy than most anyone else on this board, definitely including Chase; so much so, I actually plan to raise my child in shared custody!  (I seriously, actually researched the legal and developmental implications of sharing custody of a newborn!)  And it will be hard for any woman to convince me sheʼs my only option, living in a city where Iʼm literally surrounded by beautiful African women!  Not gonna happen!  Itʼd be more likely to happen to me here.  And Iʼm so opposed to giving girls money that Iʼve actually more than once let a girl sit there on a coffee date without any drink because she didnʼt buy herself one; how one would make me bleed money is beyond my wildest imagination.  Unless she uses a gun!

Itʼs far more likely that the problem Iʼm going to have is getting blown off because these African ladies perceive me as a cheap bastard when I wonʼt spend one shilling on them.

I also donʼt paint myself as a target by conspicuous consumption.  I think that actually makes things trickier for you, though of course youʼve overcome that with a very strong frame.

And while I am from the West, Iʼve never hit on one of our white women in my entire life!  LOL.  The black women here are used to guys at least as strong and dominant as African guys - and Iʼd venture to say a lot more so.  Hell, I once had a girl from Africa try to scare me with, “my boyfriendʼs Jamaican!”  (It didnʼt work.  I got her fairly open, though I later found out she really did have a Jamaican boyfriend, unsurprisingly.)  I grew up around Caribbean and African women.  Iʼm not exactly naïve to them.


[ learning here first ]


I realize getting good here would make other places easy, but I donʼt see it as efficient.  Iʼd rather have an easier time learning but have more to learn when (if ever) I come back, than to bash my head against the wall indefinitely here just to get the basics.


[ short trips ]


Short trips to Africa really donʼt suit me.  (Short trips within Africa are possibly a different story.)  Thereʼs no economy of scale on the significant time, effort, and costs of preparing for and making the trip, and itʼs not nearly enough time there to make a dent in the problem.  I know this from experience because I actually did do a short trip to a majority-black country a couple years back.  As Iʼd predict, I did open up to women quite a bit more than I had at the time been doing here, but two weeks were like the blink of an eye.  I immediately realized being there wouldʼve benefitted me tremendously, but only if I hadʼve been there for immensely longer.  Also, Iʼve long wanted to spend time living in an exotic place, just for the experience itself.

Itʼs different for you.  You (i) are an on-line guy, and (ii) already have tight game, so you can get in, get the pussy, and get out!  :)  For me, Iʼll have to be there several months before pussy becomes a real possibility.  And Iʼd hate to go all that way just to not get any pussy!  LOL


[ scarcity ]


Iʼm still open to options that would allow me to instead learn game here, but without having to hit on the Eurasians.  However, hoping for that increasingly feels like desperately looking for an impossible “magic bullet,” because as you aptly point out, it means operating in a frame of scarcity.

Now, itʼs almost a kind of imagined scarcity, because in fact, black women arenʼt that rare here.  When I go to a big mall and spend 5h ~ 8h there and only hit on one or two girls, according to demographics and the mallʼs traffic stats, Iʼm probably exposed to another 500 or so young black women I donʼt hit on!!  To me that seems rather high - Iʼd have put it closer to 60, - but go figure.  (I didnʼt determine how many of those are unique from one day to the next.  There certainly are girls I see repeatedly.)  The same stats put the young women I ruthlessly ignore at around 4,500.  [TO SELF: See SDX9251122]  From a psychological standpoint, I think the relative difference in magnitude between 500 and 4,500 is causing my brain to downplay the absolute magnitude of the former.

In truth, Africa is more of a mental hack than anything else.  Kind of a way of shocking my brain out of imagining that black women are scarce.  LOL.  I suspect that after some good experiences there, I could come back here and actually open a lot more of those 500 that right now I canʼt seem to push myself to open.


[ alternatives ]


Iʼve thought about less costly options.  (Hitting on Eurasians isnʼt one of them.  For me thatʼs more costly than Africa.)

We do have Caribbean nightlife, but between loudness, competition, my being a lone wolf, tricky logistics, women being dolled‑up, and bars & clubs being the only place most guys do approach in, itʼs rather loathsome to me as a mainstay.  Iʼve considered on-line game, since in principle itʼs easier to select for a given demographic, but it also strikes me as frustrating and impotent compared to day game, and Iʼm not even sure just how much itʼd solve the demographic dilemma here anyway, given that on-line is a big numbers game.  Iʼve even considered trying to address my endemic failure to sexualize women by hiring an escort to fuck some sense into me, but the risk of being permanently marked by HSV‑2 demands a strong assurance of benefit, and Iʼm not entirely sure just how helpful it would be.

Maybe I should put my money where my mouth is when I say Iʼd rather sleep with a black post‑op trans-girl who started popping titty skittles from early puberty, than sleep with a normal white girl.  I.e., go on-line and actually try seducing one!  XD  Who knows, maybe it would be good practice to get over my fears of escalating!  Or maybe not.


[ business disruption ]


The thing I donʼt like about any of these last‑ditch efforts to avoid a shake‑up, is that if they donʼt work - which seems somewhat likely, - then theyʼve only prolonged the inevitable and compounded the costs even further.

Time I spend struggling with women is costly to me.  Some time ago I suspended most business activities until I have some measure of success with women.  (I know, itʼs extreme, but nothing less was going to work.  Girls would have just been put off ad infinitum.)

Of course, “moving” to Africa does cause significant costs and disruptions, too, but at least it has a very high chance of working.  And that could mean a lot less cost at the end of the day.

I actually can execute many of my business activities from anywhere, so after the initial shake‑up, itʼs not the end of the world.  For all I know, Africa could lead me to new ideas or opportunities, too.


[ other considerations ]


Iʼll admit some issues with Africa we didnʼt mention, such as rainy seasons, UV overdose, more STIs and health risks in general, less reliable infrastructure than Iʼm used to, and venomous beasties.

But there are also some big additional benefits, on top of the eradication of scarcity.  Our hideous winter thatʼs terrible for logistics, goes away.  I may be able to drive a lot sooner.  Daytime street game is likely to work out a lot better, whereas here Iʼve been mostly confined to malls due to locational and demographic factors.  Very significantly, I may also be able to pick a spot to stay in that has much better overall logistics than my home in my city (which itʼs inadvisable for me to change due to business considerations).  Itʼs also liable to work out much better for traveling to nearby towns and countries in order to practice your little scheme.  ;)

I also canʼt overstate what a priceless life experience and a much needed change of scenery it will be.


All considered, I think for me the benefits of an “indefinite vacation” to Africa outweigh the drawbacks, but if anyone thinks there really is a “magic bullet,” nowʼs the time!

Cheers!
Phoenix

p.s.:  Just as a semi-joking aside, your comments to strictlyincreasing remind me Iʼm an even harder target, cuz I fucking canʼt stand girls that wear fake hair, fake eyelashes, fake nails, and tons of makeup, - itʼs so ugly, - and those are in my observation exactly the type that like to gold dig.  XD
 

Indian Race Troll (IRT)

Cro-Magnon Man
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Just come to Atlanta instead, we are known for having some of the best looking black women in the world.
 

Chase

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Phoenix-

Nice. I'm always in favor of moving around a bit so long as you can do it intelligently.

From what I can tell Seppuku's two main points of caution to you are:

  • Get your game tight in your hometown first before the move, and
  • Don't screw your business up

Generally, harder locations are better to level yourself up. Easier locations are better for confidence boosts and for reaping the results of the hard work you've done in the past. So if you're at the point where you're ready to cash in the work you've done on yourself and enjoy easier pickings, going somewhere it'll be easier is a good move. Or if you're just frustrated at home and you're fairly convinced your city can't offer you the sorts of women you want, a move is generally a smart bet.

I don't know what your business is or how hard/easy it is to run remote. You say there's a lot you can do remotely. If you can set up systems to do the rest of the stuff without you before you move (hire someone to manage it, or find some way to systematize it so it runs without you), you'll make this easier.

If you like Africa, you've probably seen his site already. But Naughty Nomad is a guy with extensive seduction-related intel on Africa:

http://naughtynomad.com/africa/

He seems to have mostly stuck to Northern Africa, and especially along the coasts, where I take it it's generally safer than the Southern and more interior parts of the continent.

Chase
 
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