I am the prize - how to?

[Bismarck]

I’ve been wondering if the “I am the prize” mindset is a byproduct of you believing in yourself in other areas of life (e.g., having the guts to start your own business as opposed to “checking out” and simply focusing on increasing your employee paypacket) or whether it comes from disciplined approaching and collecting of hot girls (building up a stable) and the attendant abundance.

Can it even be instilled with any level of permanence or is it a mindset that waxes and wanes according to the peaks and troughs of your life?

There are still times when I seem to care too much about the outcome as opposed to being fearless in my escalation, aware that, should I face rejection, there are plenty of other hot girls out there who are attracted to me that I can meet.

 

[Kvothe]

Interesting-I've been pondering this myself recently and think my next major breakthrough will incorporate this heavily.

Things I do to work on it:

• Transcendental Meditation: Two 20 minutes sessions per day
• TRE 2x per week
• Small wins compounding

The other part is training myself to not put the super beautiful girls on pedestals and not overthinking it. I notice that I have a hard time opening the really beautiful girls because I psyche myself out.

 

[topcat]

It came to me, when i had a sizeable number of positive experiences with women to look back on. Kinda hard to refute after you’ve had > 50 girls in your bed soaking your sheets or gasping in ecstasy. Or had girls blow up your phone and not get the hint that you no longer want to see them.

I honestly don’t worry about the viewing myself as the prize. Didn’t when I was a rookie either.

Mindfucking yourself into believing it won’t stick the same way that seeing evidence of it will.

I prefer to focus on providing girls with good experiences.

Once you do that, and the girls validate it, you’re mind won’t forget it no matter what you do.

 

[topcat]

There are still times when I seem to care too much about the outcome as opposed to being fearless in my escalation, aware that there are plenty of other hot girls out there who are attracted to me that I can meet.

And with this, sometimes you just have to fuck up, repetitively till it no longer phases you. There’s no way around it (that i know of).

Just suck it up, put the reps in. Get it out the mud. The gains are far harder to lose when they’re hard earned.

 

[DonGately]

I mean, you generally have to be the prize for that mentality to work well. My urban older rake game is perfect for college chicks because they can see how successful I am without me having to tell them. They see how I dress and immediately imprint 'successful' on their own brains before I open my mouth. Add my natural self-confidence to that and it works very well for me.

 

[Bismarck]

Thanks for your contributions guys, they've given me plenty to chew on.

I'm guessing, specifically with hot girls, that the mentality comes after repeated situations where you provide orgasmic experiences to them, and where such sought-after girls are in a position where they chase you, as topcat wrote above.

I also like to work with the winner effect Kvothe, for momentum boosting. And need to get back to meditating...

 

[Alpha13SC]

If you would ask yourself what do you have in order to be better than others, what would you respond?

This mentality has to be backed up by something. Has to be congruent with who you are or who will you be.

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

I think it’s great to feel like you are the prize, but if your not there yet, having general self esteem is a close second

and I think a good sense of self esteem is being like: “I’ll walk away at any moment if I need to”

 

[Toby2030]

If you know your self worth, then seeing yourself as the prize comes easy. And how do you get to a point where you see yourself as a prize? When you get to a point in your life where you really believe what you have to offer is better than most other men. I believe if people used 3 months of their life and really got their shit together and adopted good habits, their results would be a lot better.

 

[ulrich]

Half and half, I would say.

In my experience you can’t really fool your mind with positive thinking alone.
A new paradigm… a novel way of looking at things may be the fire starter but until your mind can perceive evidence that your mentality is aligned with reality (results), it will never be fully locked into a different way of thinking.

So, in order to be the prize, you have to believe it and experience it.

A chicken and egg thing.

 

[Will_V]

I’ve been wondering if the “I am the prize” mindset is a byproduct of you believing in yourself in other areas of life (e.g., having the guts to start your own business as opposed to “checking out” and simply focusing on increasing your employee paypacket) or whether it comes from disciplined approaching and collecting of hot girls (building up a stable) and the attendant abundance.

Can it even be instilled with any level of permanence or is it a mindset that waxes and wanes according to the peaks and troughs of your life?

There are still times when I seem to care too much about the outcome as opposed to being fearless in my escalation, aware that, should I face rejection, there are plenty of other hot girls out there who are attracted to me that I can meet.

There are two main ways that self-esteem is built subconsciously.

There is the 'absolute knowledge' from experiencing a specific kind of success over and over again, that topcat talks about.

But then there is also the 'rate of change' knowledge that comes from repeatedly, intentionally, and rapidly changing something significant in your life for the better.

It's more abstract and unspecific, but the resulting effect definitely influences all areas of life including women. And it's the best way to stay in a positive frame of mind and maintain the 'winner effect' when you haven't yet got the thing you want. You basically focus on how fast you are moving through the space that's immediately in front of you, and how readily you deal with each obstacle, rather than worrying about how long the path to success will be.

While the first kind is better for establishing self esteem in relation to something specific, the second one establishes self esteem and self knowledge that is more easily transferred across domains and is more resilient to negative events.

 

[Rthm]

eh, it might be just me being pretentious, but I know I'm fucking quality. I've had enough people tell me that, plus I've done a fair amount of work on the personal development side of things to really know in my bones that if a girl I have chemistry for doesn't go for me, it's because she's an idiot.

In terms of experience, I don't get laid *that* much - a few one night stands here and there, one regular girl currently. I did have periods of drought where my self esteem took a hit, but even then, I'd find that doing stuff like nofap would make it more likely for me to be confident in my self worth. I guess there's a point where I just know I can fuck good, I'm kind, I have good social skills, I look pretty (get dudes hitting on me all the time), I'm clever... yeah. I'm objectively quality. If some chick has her head too far up her ass to realize this, it's on her.

 

[Dragon913]

A very honest, direct perhaps brute view of mine..

If you are a dork, doesn't matter if you meditate 30 min under a sacred warterfall in tibet nor shake yourself to oblivion with TRE..

Get into bodybuilding with boxing on the side for self confidence in your manhood

Read good books then try the theory ( I love Richard la ruina books more than chase sry) Develop your own style

Get in a good profession which pays good and you're respected ( I choose airline pilot)

Some girls don't like you because you're a little fish and that's fine keep laying bricks everyday you'll get better ones through the journey

You come first then family, then women..

Is this the answer to everything? no.. but is enough to not have doubts about ' if im the prize or not'

Peace

 

[ElderPrice]

I think it's a function of your beliefs and values. In other words, what is your internal definition of a "prize"? If that is a firm and steady definition, then you should feel like the prize all the time. However, if your definition can change over time, then how you feel about being a prize will change all the time.

You refer to success with women. Everyone knows this is something that has hot streaks and cold streaks. In my opinion, this is a terrible criteria to include in your own, personal, internal definition of a "prize."

Make it more character-based rather than results-based, and you'll always feel like the prize, as long as you're living in accordance to your values.