I can't create sexual tension efficiently

[vox]

Vox here. I've gotten pretty good at conversation and they turn out pretty interesting, dramatic, and emotional. I've always been trying to create sexual tension by talking about sexual topics or being physical but somehow I can never pass the threshold of getting her attracted or aroused effectively. it's always friendly..well most of the time. Probably because I've been practicing so hard with approaching all, getting unstifled, and having an endless amount of things to say that I end up seeming friendly all the fucking time. I would think that a girl would get attracted because of how awesome I am, and the good vibes I give her, but I guess not. I have gotten some girls attracted maybe because I was in-state and congruent, or we had natural chemistry. I rely mostly on creating tension with physicality. But sometimes its not enough. I would do things like hug her early in the interaction, spin-hand shake, play with her hands, compliment her body parts. It's funny how some of the girls say nothing about my physicality, and if I ask if they're single, they may say no; even though they didn't say anything about me being physical. I'm guessing I should be even more straight forward and stop being a bitch about doing more boldly sexual things. I also find myself walking with the girl sometimes, which I think is hardest to escalate with because of the lack of consistent eye contact.

My interactions with a girl would usually look something like this:

Me: Hey! you there! give me your candy (even though she doesn't have candy)
girl: what? haha I don't have candy
Me: you are the candy haha
Her: ahaha uhm okay
me: hi im vox nice to meet you (shakes hand but holds for a bit longer and just swing it casually or spin her or take her other hand romantically)
[I would keep strong eye contact if we weren't walking]
her: nice to meet you haha
Me: i saw you and i was like mmmmmm*sensually* "it looks like she knows how to make a pizza"
Me: are you italian? (even though shes like white or asian or black)
Her: haha no? do I look italian?
Me: no but you do look like a Pegasus
Her: haha
Me: where are you from?
Her: New Jersey
Me: yuckkkkk blahhh
Her: whats wrong with new jersey ahah

My conversations are random as fuck because i try not to care what she thinks, and feed her the sub-communications.
I would do a lot of teasing and jokes and mix in legitimate questions. sometimes during the interaction i'd be afraid to say something sexual or do something sexual. I would stick to the general physicals like romantically touching her hand/arm, moving her hair strands, or hugging/high-fiving her if she says something I like. I have kissed several girls on the cheek. Some of them liked it, some did nothing, and some didn't find it too pleasing.

Any help with how you would be sexual and arouse the girl during day-game approaches?

 

[Mr. oblivious]

Check out Zphix's reply to my question https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=6582 its about sexual framing and this should help in your situation (trying to generate sexual tension)

Also this is a good read as well read the comments https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=26&t=6603&p=30648#p30648

 

[Richard]

Vox,

You're missing the most important part of making a girl feel sexual towards you: comfort.

If your dialogues are largely like this then girls don't feel comfortable with you, the spontaneity and randomness keep her on edge and guarded. You've got to make a girl feel comfortable with you before you can make it sexual.

And the best way to make a girl feel comfortable is by getting her talking about herself then relating back (you're still leading the conversation as you can see).

-Richard

 

[Swordfish]

Vox,

You're missing the most important part of making a girl feel sexual towards you: comfort.

If your dialogues are largely like this then girls don't feel comfortable with you, the spontaneity and randomness keep her on edge and guarded. You've got to make a girl feel comfortable with you before you can make it sexual.

And the best way to make a girl feel comfortable is by getting her talking about herself then relating back (you're still leading the conversation as you can see).

-Richard

I have the same problem actually, would you mind to elaborate further on keeping the balance between making a girl feel comfortable yet maintaining a certain level of sexual tension underneath, as well as inducing the feelings of nervousness and "butterflies" in her stomach?

Although I didn't just talk about random topics like our TS did, usually during conversation I tried to avoid letting the girl from getting too comfortable with me, and used very strong chase frames (to the point of being too blunt, I guess) and it backfires (some girls told me I came across as too strong for them).

Note that I have a very youthful look (as I have also mentioned in another thread) and I get labelled very easily as the 'innocent, friendly' "boy" when coming into contact even with people who've known me for a while. As a result I ended up overcompensating by keeping girls on their toes all the time rather than spending the time to make them feel comfortable (which may immediately turn into a friendzone situation).

I'd greatly appreciate if you can further elaborate/provide examples on this line as to how to make girls feel just comfortable enough but not so much as seeing you as just a friend (which happens quite easily for someone who looks very young)?

 

[Richard]

Sword,

Instead of trying to balance comfort and sexuality at the same time, I'd recommend starting by using them separately until you have a firm grasp on both. My game, and the game of many advanced practitioners consists of using humor and sexual tension at the same time. Like, I say things with a hint of humor in my voice while the content is super sexual - it makes it fun and raunchy at the same time.

Anyhow, comfort with women simply means letting her know that you won't tell anybody what's going to happen and that she can let her hair down and be herself. Communicating discretion has been written about on the site already: here.

Other than that, studies show that people who are allowed to talk about themselves feel more comfortable with the person listening. So, when you get the girl opening up about herself then she'll feel comfortable with you. By "keeping a girl on her toes" I'm assuming that you're leading the conversation with sharp right angles, right? This would mean a lack of flow and fluid connection building.

Whenever you talk to a girl, you can steer the conversation fluidly and still make things sexual (check out any of my LRs or FRs which Franco has kindly compiled here. Check under "Z Vaunswa".) But anyway, you'll notice that things flow smoothly, no need to force sexual tension into things, it's something that should seem natural to the conversation.

So, the two things you should work on are 1) getting conversation to flow naturally and then inject sexuality in there, and 2) getting the girl to open up about herself to build comfort.

Questions?

-Richard

 

[vox]

Thank you for this, Zphix!
I will try creating comfort by getting her to talk about herself more and try to add sexual flares to what she says and what I say, and practice them both individually until they eventually work themselves together.

I usually do daygame since I live in Jacksonville. So l game at department stores, beaches, malls, my community college, or low-traffic town centers.

 

[Swordfish]

Sword,

Instead of trying to balance comfort and sexuality at the same time, I'd recommend starting by using them separately until you have a firm grasp on both. My game, and the game of many advanced practitioners consists of using humor and sexual tension at the same time. Like, I say things with a hint of humor in my voice while the content is super sexual - it makes it fun and raunchy at the same time.

Anyhow, comfort with women simply means letting her know that you won't tell anybody what's going to happen and that she can let her hair down and be herself. Communicating discretion has been written about on the site already: here.

Other than that, studies show that people who are allowed to talk about themselves feel more comfortable with the person listening. So, when you get the girl opening up about herself then she'll feel comfortable with you. By "keeping a girl on her toes" I'm assuming that you're leading the conversation with sharp right angles, right? This would mean a lack of flow and fluid connection building.

Whenever you talk to a girl, you can steer the conversation fluidly and still make things sexual (check out any of my LRs or FRs which Franco has kindly compiled here. Check under "Z Vaunswa".) But anyway, you'll notice that things flow smoothly, no need to force sexual tension into things, it's something that should seem natural to the conversation.

So, the two things you should work on are 1) getting conversation to flow naturally and then inject sexuality in there, and 2) getting the girl to open up about herself to build comfort.

Questions?

-Richard

Thanks for your input Zphix. I'm trying my best not to hijack the thread here...

When I said "keeping girls on their toes" I meant very strong frame that implies they already liked me even with girls I just met (usually through social circle), and I agree it's not as fluid and natural as it should be.

Example: asking for a girl's number just after meeting her and she hesitates, "then what are you going to do when you miss me?" with a seductive tone and a sly grin, or if I bump into a girl that I've briefly met before in class, "so you missed me already?" again in a seductive tone.

When the girl is alone they get nervous and shy, and when their friends are (potentially) within earshot they get really embarrassed (not being discreet enough).

In both cases I turned up the sexual vibe fairly soon after meeting them (prior to asking them out on a date) and I believe this is causing them to become guarded, and are more likely to repel my advances. And I agree that there isn't enough comfort built up prior to this.

Should I save the sexual tension until we are on a date and not in a social situation? In this case, how do I prevent myself from being slotted into "friends" category during the initial meeting (usually in a social situation)? As I've said previously I have a very young and innocent look that girls usually think of as "cute boy" rather than a "sexy guy".

What I've noticed is that girls get very comfortable with non-(sexually) threatening guys and they love to hang out with them! And I've no doubt some see them as potential long-term boyfriends. I'm worried that I'll come across as "too comfortable" with the girls and as a result turn up the sexual vibe very early during interaction to avoid this situation (may end up being perceived as creepy, or come across as too strong to the girls who barely knew me).