I don't like when women direct-open me. (yes you read that right :D )

[razir110]

This may sound strange but I really prefer to be the one to approach the girl. I am referring to direct openers from women, not approach invitations.

If I approach, I will be leading and doing things on my terms. I feel I have a much better control of the interaction if I am the one to open.

And its kinda true that girls usually suck at opening. Most have this attitude, "I will just say hi and the guy will do the rest. I am already doing him a huge favor by opening" It's true on one hand, but for guys, at least for me, if she opens then she has to lead the conversation for a while, not just throw this shitty "hello" and stand there waiting for me to handle all the talk. It happened to me a few times that a girl would say "hi" and just stand there, the thing would become awkward fast and the interaction would die because I wasn't leading the talk and she couldn't do it either.

And sure I get that it's also part of being a good conversationalist to be able to turn these thing around, but honestly I would just prefer to do things my way by opening myself instead of fixing bad approaches from girls.

What do you guys think? Do you agree that it's actually better if you are the one to open and lead?

Best!

 

[youngbuck]

If a girl opens you and then just stands there after saying hi, isn't she essentially giving you the room to lead and do things on your terms as you said in your post that you enjoy doing?

In my opinion, a girl approaching me is much easier to translate to a lay because I know attraction must be high on her end to take the initiative like that.

 

[razir110]

No, when she open you, she got the lead. She started and you are waiting for her actions to let the conversation develop. I think this is how any human talk goes. who starts, leads. It's natural, at least for me, to expect whoever started the conversation to get to the point of what it's about and introduce me to the reason of why I am being talked to.

Maybe it's different with other guys, dunno

 

[Hue]

razir,

It depends, but I totally get what you're saying.

On one hand, women directly opening you doesn't happen as often, which makes it less familiar and potentially harder to navigate. And since she began the course of direction, she is sorta leading you. To open someone is to penetrate their cognitive bubble, and she just "penetrated" yours, rather than the origin of social direction coming from you, which therefore gives you more control.

Though in line with what youngbuck said, I think there's plenty of girls that will open you and stand there to "take you in", then let you lead. The tricky thing when this happens is you can't engage quite as hard as you might normally. You have to tone it down a bit, because you're yet to qualify her. Other than her looks, vibe, and confidence she displays (since, she did have the courage to open you), you don't have a "reason" to be all that into her quite yet. You also have girls that are hunting for dick and will take you quite readily, and you happened to be in the right place at the right time. You even have "female players' that want to be in control of the whole shebang and will dislike you leading, but they're pretty rare.

So when this happens I think it's good to show a subtle interest and try to read where she's trying to move it. Once you have a rough take of what kind of girl she might be, or where she stands after her curiosity got the best of her, then I think you should slowly show more interest and start to fully lead. Still ask questions, be friendly, and engage in the conversation of course. Though if you begin leading her too early, it appears that you're already sold on her which most the time doesn't help you. But again, I think it depends.


Hue

 

[Fuck This]

I think if you make eye contact, have open body language, smile and invite a woman to approach, you HAVE taken the lead. Just be ready to direct the conversation.

There was a bar in California one night I must have really been ON. A Filipino girl came up and was touching my shirt but speaking so softly I couldn't understand what she was saying over the music. It was early in the night and I think she was looking for someone to buy her a drink. Before that the female bartender who just got off shift bought me a drink and came around the bar to talk, bitched about her boyfriend then asked me to walk her out to her car. I obliged her but wasn't into her look...I should have told her to drive me back to my hotel and seen what happened.

Went back to the bar for a while, and left a little while later only to have a Mexican girl come out and ask me on the street "Do you have a woman?" She was like a 4/10 but there was something in my demeanor that night that just had women attracted to me. When these moments come along you have to be ready to strike while the iron is hot....