Zac,
This is the truth of life:
Everything's disposable, and nothing is.
Whatever you want to point to could be considered disposable.
The Earth could blink out of existence and take every one of us with it, and if there are other folks in the universe I doubt they would much notice or care.
At the smaller level, any individual man, or family, or tribe, or civilization can be wiped out and replaced. When the Romans slew all the Carthaginian men and sold their women and children into slavery and poured salt into the earth there so nothing would ever grow, the world moved on fine without them. When the Mayans and the Khmer abandoned their cities to the jungles and became hunter-gatherer tribes again, the world didn't miss a beat.
The non-disposable aspect of life is our effect in the great web of things. Whether you call that the butterfly effect, the ripple effect, the compounding effect, what have you. The 1946 movie
It's a Wonderful Life is of course the ultimate film example of this.
Without you, we would not be having this discussion. Without you, many discussions here would never have occurred. Countless other ripple effects that came from those discussions would not have occurred. This place would be different. That is only one environment; your presence crosses numerous environments, and you affect all these places in all sorts of ways, many of which you will never know about.
Some random person you smiled at one day brightened up from a bad day she was having, then shared some cheer with a friend of hers who, unknown to her, planned to kill herself, but that cheer she shared (which began with you) stopped her. Some offhand remark you made somewhere got some young guy to think about his life in a different way, which sent him into a different career, which made him wealthy, and led him eventually to a branch of philanthropy where he did all kinds of good for his fellow man.
Life is about more than direct impact. It is also about the indirect ones; arguably more so, because there are so many more of them. And to calculate all the indirect impacts you have, you'd need a computer simulator the size of the universe. Thus life
is the simulation (whether it's actually a computer/intelligently-created simulation or not - I lean toward 'not', but it's not a falsifiable theory, so cannot be disproved; however even if it's a dumb, naturally occuring phenomenon, for our purposes we can still consider it a simulator here); your actions cause X, Y, and Z unpredictable ripple effects through the world.
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At the micro scale, people will treat you with disdain or disrespect. It doesn't matter who you are or what you do.
Walk outside and make eye contact with people. Some girls will smile or look down submissively. Some will roll their eyes dismissively. Many will break their eye contact neutrally to the side, pretending to look at something else. Some guys are friendly. Some are uncomfortable (maybe they think you're gay). A few may be confrontational.
The most powerful people in the world get treated like second class citizens by all sorts of people. Many Americans called Barack Obama a weakling, a homosexual, and a terrorist. Many other Americans now call Donald Trump a bully, a racist, and an idiot. Both these men were/are President of the U.S.A.
People who are
social ladder climbers will treat you with disdain if they see you as beneath them. Likewise, they will either worship the ground you walk on if they view you as above them... or they will smile through their teeth at you, while they plot how to knife you in the back and climb over you.
The easiest way to deal with this at an emotional level is to internalize that you are hiding your power level. e.g. "Ha, this chick thinks I am some ordinary corporate stooge. Shows how perceptive SHE is! I have her totally fooled."
This is easy to do when you are a man with many sides to yourself, only one of which most people ever see.
ZacAdam said:
Because i'm not so well off but when i dress up, i look well off and girls treat me better. Which makes me think all women are pathetic and i really do think women are pathetic, in a sense.
Riddle me this, Zac.
A girl struts in, dressed in a bright red, extravagant, low cut dress. Her tits are popping out of the top of that dress. Her hair is done up in luxurious curls. Huge lashes flank her eyelids. Her lips are the color of her dress. Her back is arched, atop 6" heels. She looks at you, then looks away, in that pouty, powerful sort of way.
Another girl shuffles in, frumpy clothes, average-looking hair, no makeup, wearing loafers. She looks at you and smiles hopefully.
Do you have any different emotions toward these two women, and do you treat them different in any way?
This is what women go through too, when they encounter "average Zac" vs. "dressed to-the-nines Zac." They are not pathetic liars for this, any more than you are a pathetic liar for being flustered and intimidated and excited by the girl in the red dress... and laid back, comfortable, and perhaps disinterested with the frumpy girl. They are just responding to visual cues and display incentives, same as you.
This is how humans have to work in a system of imperfect information. When a girl cannot read you and instantly know everything about you - your full life history, your future, your genetic code and everything it codes for - all she can use instead are the signals you give her: your look, your job, your behavior.
If you don't like the impression those signals give her, change the signals you're putting out there. A big part of this site is about that.
Or, if you don't like it at a more macro level, then help solve the problem: how do you move humanity to a system of more perfect information, where prospective mates can evaluate each other on richer, truer signals, rather than the poor and largely indirect signals they're forced to rely on at present?
The question should not be "I am X. How do I want women to look at me?" but rather "I want women to look at me like Y. What do I need to tweak, change, or become to accomplish this?"
Because, after all - are you really your job? Or your clothes? Is that how you define yourself?
Or are these mere accoutrements - ones you can change, if you wish - and you are YOU, the MAN?
At least for me, I am far more concerned what people think about me once they deeply know me than what they think when they hardly do. And the only women who deeply know me are the ones I've been fucking three months or more. (well, them and some family members, of course)
All the rest of 'em, well... they're just going off the superficial signals I give them.
Same as the men. Same as the dogs and cats and birds and any other living organism that wants to get a read on you (whether you will feed it, kick it, ignore it, etc.). We live in a universe of imperfect information; you're going off her immediate appearance, and she's going off yours.
If you want a different reception, change the signals you put out there.
Chase
