- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
Hey guys,
This is a little bit of an "expressing myself" type post. Not really a question so much as it is a way for me to put my thoughts to paper.
So, I hooked up with this girl last night. She was absolutely perrrfect. I don't mean just physically (although also physically...she was a dime). I mean, she had EVERYTHING I look for in a girl (that's a long-ass list btw). And our chemistry was amazing. We stayed up till 7 am and a good chunk of the time was talking and actually hanging out. Not just having sex.
Here's the thing though...I've never dated a girl like this before. Like, every other girl who's actually shown me interest in the past was in my eyes, flawed in one way or another (either she's not THAT cute, or she's got obvious deal-breaker emotional issues, or she's just dumb etc.). My ex-girlfriend was "pretty good", but even she had some things going for her which I didn't like.
Whereas this girl seems absolutely flawless to me. As a result, despite ALL the women I've slept with. All the work I've put in on myself in the past three years...I feel like she's out of my league (even though I already fucked her. It's weird, I know).
Moreover, the whole reason I got into pickup/self-improvement in the first place was to find a girl like this. Like...my original goal was "find a girlfriend of the highest quality". So in a sense, it feels like this IS the culmination of the past three years of self improvement (obviously, that's not true. Self-improvement is a worthwhile endeavor for its own sake. And, I've had plenty of other crazy, worthwhile experiences as a result of my effort. All I'm saying is that it FEELS this way.). This puts even more pressure and anxiety upon me.
As a result of all this,I just feel very nervous about what's going to happen. Like, I really want this to go somewhere. I don't want to fuck up. I have almost zero outcome independence with this girl (whereas with almost every other girl I've met in the recent past, I literally couldn't have cared less about the outcome).
I guess I just have to keep reminding myself of three things:
1. She's not as perfect as she appears to be. There's no such thing as a flawless human being. So I need to understand that my perception of her is actually very inaccurate. I don't yet know enough about her to make any final judgements.
2. No matter what happens, I will survive this and I will be stronger for it. If this doesn't work out, it will definitely be painful at first (especially since I've already kinda fallen for her). But the pain will subside. Because if worse comes to worse, I will have bolstered my confidence that I am indeed attractive enough to hook up with (and inevitably date) this type of women.
3. I actually AM good enough to date this type of girl. The fact that she hooked up with me is proof of that. The only reason I haven't dated a girl like this in the past is because I haven't recently met anyone like her. Not because I'm incapable/not good enough to date them.
If you have any thoughts, feel free to chime in. But like I said before, this was more of an expressive post than it is an actual question lol
This is a little bit of an "expressing myself" type post. Not really a question so much as it is a way for me to put my thoughts to paper.
So, I hooked up with this girl last night. She was absolutely perrrfect. I don't mean just physically (although also physically...she was a dime). I mean, she had EVERYTHING I look for in a girl (that's a long-ass list btw). And our chemistry was amazing. We stayed up till 7 am and a good chunk of the time was talking and actually hanging out. Not just having sex.
Here's the thing though...I've never dated a girl like this before. Like, every other girl who's actually shown me interest in the past was in my eyes, flawed in one way or another (either she's not THAT cute, or she's got obvious deal-breaker emotional issues, or she's just dumb etc.). My ex-girlfriend was "pretty good", but even she had some things going for her which I didn't like.
Whereas this girl seems absolutely flawless to me. As a result, despite ALL the women I've slept with. All the work I've put in on myself in the past three years...I feel like she's out of my league (even though I already fucked her. It's weird, I know).
Moreover, the whole reason I got into pickup/self-improvement in the first place was to find a girl like this. Like...my original goal was "find a girlfriend of the highest quality". So in a sense, it feels like this IS the culmination of the past three years of self improvement (obviously, that's not true. Self-improvement is a worthwhile endeavor for its own sake. And, I've had plenty of other crazy, worthwhile experiences as a result of my effort. All I'm saying is that it FEELS this way.). This puts even more pressure and anxiety upon me.
As a result of all this,I just feel very nervous about what's going to happen. Like, I really want this to go somewhere. I don't want to fuck up. I have almost zero outcome independence with this girl (whereas with almost every other girl I've met in the recent past, I literally couldn't have cared less about the outcome).
I guess I just have to keep reminding myself of three things:
1. She's not as perfect as she appears to be. There's no such thing as a flawless human being. So I need to understand that my perception of her is actually very inaccurate. I don't yet know enough about her to make any final judgements.
2. No matter what happens, I will survive this and I will be stronger for it. If this doesn't work out, it will definitely be painful at first (especially since I've already kinda fallen for her). But the pain will subside. Because if worse comes to worse, I will have bolstered my confidence that I am indeed attractive enough to hook up with (and inevitably date) this type of women.
3. I actually AM good enough to date this type of girl. The fact that she hooked up with me is proof of that. The only reason I haven't dated a girl like this in the past is because I haven't recently met anyone like her. Not because I'm incapable/not good enough to date them.
If you have any thoughts, feel free to chime in. But like I said before, this was more of an expressive post than it is an actual question lol
