- Joined
- Jan 5, 2014
- Messages
- 3,353
I post this after having taking quite a few shots, quite a few really, damn I hope I make it to tomorrow but in case I don't I might as well share this.
I took some time off of Girlschase to write down my own dairy given that I recently got fired from my old job not that long ago, realized I might as well make the most of unemployment. Something happened to me recently and it is weird because I see that I am getting a bit of IOIs yet I have not approached in ages. I catch women smiling at me on some occasions but I just don't feel that need to approach but I feel like this very issue, at its root, is causing me to be a miserable prick in general despite the things I have to be grateful of.
It dates back right to my college days (transferred and did not start out as a freshman) not that long ago, I was actually happy back then to some degree. I remember being somewhat full of life and excited, there was that mindset in me that there are great things to come. Then slowly, it was like a python squeezing the life out of a healthy prey. I approached girls to find how hostile they were, everyone was in their tight snobby cliques and I never fit in. I never had my own crew, clique or community to be a part of and that was the story of my entire life. I never found my tribe, ever.
I never got to be a part of that drama and even though we feel like thats a bad thing, I feel like it is necessary. I never got a chance to be a part of anything there or any of those social cliques at all, I was always a social outcast. No group of friends from my college days that I could ever call to my wedding, ever. No crazy friend to learn from and no crazy fling or ex that was a mistake, its like my college days were all hell......
No group of friends to go out to hit the bars or house party with, to take a ton of shots with or to get wasted with.....
And now, I still haven't found them and I feel like the clock is ticking, or it might just be too late.
Its like hope meet uncertainty meet wtf...
I am going to be approaching my late 20s soon and I feel like soon, its all going to be over.
Everyone around my age is going to be married or getting married, I rather get shot in the back of the head than commit at this point.
They say you are not supposed to really have a social life after college but I tried in college and never had a decent one, damn shit sucks in the south with all of these fucking bible thumpers who think alcohol is the fucking devil.
Its like fuck.
Now those kids who had a good social life in college have moved on and had their fun.
I sometimes feel like getting into an LTR and cheating on her relentlessly just to create drama, no other reason to get into an LTR than that, like that is it. I feel like committing to a girl and even getting engaged just to cheat on her for the drama. Like fuck.......
I took some time off of Girlschase to write down my own dairy given that I recently got fired from my old job not that long ago, realized I might as well make the most of unemployment. Something happened to me recently and it is weird because I see that I am getting a bit of IOIs yet I have not approached in ages. I catch women smiling at me on some occasions but I just don't feel that need to approach but I feel like this very issue, at its root, is causing me to be a miserable prick in general despite the things I have to be grateful of.
It dates back right to my college days (transferred and did not start out as a freshman) not that long ago, I was actually happy back then to some degree. I remember being somewhat full of life and excited, there was that mindset in me that there are great things to come. Then slowly, it was like a python squeezing the life out of a healthy prey. I approached girls to find how hostile they were, everyone was in their tight snobby cliques and I never fit in. I never had my own crew, clique or community to be a part of and that was the story of my entire life. I never found my tribe, ever.
I never got to be a part of that drama and even though we feel like thats a bad thing, I feel like it is necessary. I never got a chance to be a part of anything there or any of those social cliques at all, I was always a social outcast. No group of friends from my college days that I could ever call to my wedding, ever. No crazy friend to learn from and no crazy fling or ex that was a mistake, its like my college days were all hell......
No group of friends to go out to hit the bars or house party with, to take a ton of shots with or to get wasted with.....
And now, I still haven't found them and I feel like the clock is ticking, or it might just be too late.
Its like hope meet uncertainty meet wtf...
I am going to be approaching my late 20s soon and I feel like soon, its all going to be over.
Everyone around my age is going to be married or getting married, I rather get shot in the back of the head than commit at this point.
They say you are not supposed to really have a social life after college but I tried in college and never had a decent one, damn shit sucks in the south with all of these fucking bible thumpers who think alcohol is the fucking devil.
Its like fuck.
Now those kids who had a good social life in college have moved on and had their fun.
I sometimes feel like getting into an LTR and cheating on her relentlessly just to create drama, no other reason to get into an LTR than that, like that is it. I feel like committing to a girl and even getting engaged just to cheat on her for the drama. Like fuck.......
