I have no idea what to do? Pickup more important than education?

[nexus321]

As most of you know I started this 30 day game challenge with my wingman. The back story on him is he's an ex junkie who's 35 and he does nothing except for game. That's all he cares about, all he talks about. I've been gaming so much that I haven't had the time to study (I'm studying animation) a lot of work goes into that.

But what really worried me was, last night when we were running nightgame and I told him that I felt burnt-out and that I really need to prioritize my education. He told me that pickup was more important than my education. That it was all that matters. This kinda shocked me, my plan is to do my bachelors in the states in 2 years, but I need to get my grades up. So spending a portion of the summer studying is ideal for me. But i keep getting flack from him when i mention that.

I don't wanna turn out like him. I feel like I'm neglecting all of my friends. I can't hangout with them when he's around. Because to him life is all about pickup and he's not the social kind....ironically.

I kinda feel like I should dial down the 30 game challenge. Or redefine it to something a lot smaller.
What should I do???

 

[RAFox]

Nexus,

Thanks for sharing your story! I'm thinking about studying animation and modeling myself!

The thing is, when you start prioritizing women, dressing for women, practicing for women, going out for the sole purpose to meet women, and cast aside all your other endeavors and goals for that purpose, you are basically CHASING women.
Seeing that you have other ambitions, you have probably realized this would be bad for you, and you would make the right decision by toning it down a little.

Your friend seems to be the problem here. Think about it:
What would you have to do for this situation to get better? How can I make this work for both of us? Maybe you could call him out on it.
If he won't listen to reason, you might have to cut him off.
Personally, I don't let anyone who could be a danger to my well-being too close to me, if not ignore them completely. It might sound rash, but the one who matters most in any relationship is always you, and your goals. You do have a goal, and you do want to achieve it.

That's all I can think of, for now. I wish you all the best!

 

[nexus321]

Nexus,

Thanks for sharing your story! I'm thinking about studying animation and modeling myself!

The thing is, when you start prioritizing women, dressing for women, practicing for women, going out for the sole purpose to meet women, and cast aside all your other endeavors and goals for that purpose, you are basically CHASING women.
Seeing that you have other ambitions, you have probably realized this would be bad for you, and you would make the right decision by toning it down a little.

Your friend seems to be the problem here. Think about it:
What would you have to do for this situation to get better? How can I make this work for both of us? Maybe you could call him out on it.
If he won't listen to reason, you might have to cut him off.
Personally, I don't let anyone who could be a danger to my well-being too close to me, if not ignore them completely. It might sound rash, but the one who matters most in any relationship is always you, and your goals. You do have a goal, and you do want to achieve it.

That's all I can think of, for now. I wish you all the best!

Thanks for the feedback man, I really appreciate it. You're right! I can't let that guy get in the way of my life. I'm going to tell him that I'm toning it down a little and he should respect that, otherwise I'll have to cut him off.

Cool that you're planning on studying animation and modelling. Here is some advice I wish someone gave to me. Firstly you'll most likely be using autodesk maya (download the student version it's free for 3 years) find basic tutorials on youtube and follow them and download the torrents for tutorials for maya. Next make sure you practice drawing what you see (at-least 1 drawing a day) and buy the book 'drawing on the right side of the brain'. Don't wait to do this until you start your course.

 

[RAFox]

Thank you, mate ; ) I'll be sure to follow your tips.
I wish you all the best in everything you do, Nexus!

 

[Mr.Rob]

The thing is, when you start prioritizing women, dressing for women, practicing for women, going out for the sole purpose to meet women, and cast aside all your other endeavors and goals for that purpose, you are basically CHASING women.

I agree and disagree here. I think it depends on why you're learning pickup. If you learning pickup to get validation, get a hot girlfriend, have sex with 100 girls, or a ten then I think if you make it your sole focus you'll get into a dependency for outcome of results. Though I think if you're in pickup for the self improvement/development side of things I think you can make it a sole focus without getting outcome dependend/chasey. Obviously you could still have a goal of sleeping with 100 girls but it's not your main motivation or focus, just something your aiming for and you main focus is self-improvement social (particularly with women).

I think it's pretty simple Nexus,

what do you want out of life right now and in the future?

If you want to be an animator and that's something you really want to do (your gonna have to do something for a living might as well be something your passionate about, assuming your passionate about the animation field) then do that, and learn game when you're not doing that.

Oh and you can still do school, work, and pickup all in the same day (I do) so that shouldn't even hold you back from your 30 day challenge if you choose to do so.

Then on the other hand if your not really interested in a career of any sort you can also just work whatever 9-5 you can get your hands on and just get really fucking good at game and that's cool too.

Do whatever you want to do to get whatever it is you want out of life. Simple as that.

Based on what you say about you wing I almost get the drift that he's trying to bring you down a notch and hold you back by trying to make you feel like your other endeavors or a waste of time or stupid. Idk for sure he might be very supportive or uplifting but if not I'd keep him at arms length... you become who you hang around.

Cheers Nexus, if you have more questions don't hesitate to ask.

-Rob

 

[StoicMind]

Pick up is not important at all. Pick up is a byproduct of what really is important, which is self development, creating a sense of self, and building confidence. These things transcend pick up and can be applied to all aspects of life. In actuality you getting your education in a field that interest you is part of this self development process. You don't have to forsake pick up all together but it is important that you prioritize and study, but lets say you are studying at a cafe and see a girl you are attracted to by all means go make an approach. I feel pick up is meant to be an asset to a mans life, not dominate it. You need to let your friend know this, part of being a dominant masculine man is communicating your wishes, getting what you want, and attending to your priorities. Don't let your friend turn you into a punk you know what you have to do so do it.

 

[nexus321]

The thing is, when you start prioritizing women, dressing for women, practicing for women, going out for the sole purpose to meet women, and cast aside all your other endeavors and goals for that purpose, you are basically CHASING women.

I agree and disagree here. I think it depends on why you're learning pickup. If you learning pickup to get validation, get a hot girlfriend, have sex with 100 girls, or a ten then I think if you make it your sole focus you'll get into a dependency for outcome of results. Though I think if you're in pickup for the self improvement/development side of things I think you can make it a sole focus without getting outcome dependend/chasey. Obviously you could still have a goal of sleeping with 100 girls but it's not your main motivation or focus, just something your aiming for and you main focus is self-improvement social (particularly with women).

I think it's pretty simple Nexus,

what do you want out of life right now and in the future?

If you want to be an animator and that's something you really want to do (your gonna have to do something for a living might as well be something your passionate about, assuming your passionate about the animation field) then do that, and learn game when you're not doing that.

Oh and you can still do school, work, and pickup all in the same day (I do) so that shouldn't even hold you back from your 30 day challenge if you choose to do so.

Then on the other hand if your not really interested in a career of any sort you can also just work whatever 9-5 you can get your hands on and just get really fucking good at game and that's cool too.

Do whatever you want to do to get whatever it is you want out of life. Simple as that.

Based on what you say about you wing I almost get the drift that he's trying to bring you down a notch and hold you back by trying to make you feel like your other endeavors or a waste of time or stupid. Idk for sure he might be very supportive or uplifting but if not I'd keep him at arms length... you become who you hang around.

Cheers Nexus, if you have more questions don't hesitate to ask.

-Rob

I guess the real reason I'm learning pickup is all of the above. To get a girlfriend,date multiple women, date a ten. But mostly I think it's to get a girlfriend.

The thing is I want to do both. Pickup and school. When I'm at school I kinda think over a lot why I don't have a girlfriend. So that's the reason why I always push myself to do pickup. I know somethings gotta give, I can't keep doing what I've been doing.

I get what you're saying. Guess I have to manage my time better. To be clear I'm not giving up on the challenge. I have to keep going. I'm starting to get better. I can't quit right now, not when I'm so close to the success I crave. I'm gonna tone down the nightgame and focus mostly on daygame until the challenge is over. And I'll be posting in the Field Reports section from now on.

 

[nexus321]

Pick up is not important at all. Pick up is a byproduct of what really is important, which is self development, creating a sense of self, and building confidence. These things transcend pick up and can be applied to all aspects of life. In actuality you getting your education in a field that interest you is part of this self development process. You don't have to forsake pick up all together but it is important that you prioritize and study, but lets say you are studying at a cafe and see a girl you are attracted to by all means go make an approach. I feel pick up is meant to be an asset to a mans life, not dominate it. You need to let your friend know this, part of being a dominant masculine man is communicating your wishes, getting what you want, and attending to your priorities. Don't let your friend turn you into a punk you know what you have to do so do it.

Thanks man, I'll tell him to back off. I really don't want to turn out like him. He has no ambition except for getting good at pickup. Plus he always says how we should be congruent when speaking about ourselves to the ladies. But when they ask him what he does for work, he just lies, and says he does programming.

I've been invited to a party this weekend and I'm gonna go, fuck him if he thinks it's a bad idea. Life should be fun, pickup should be fun. That's something he doesn't get. You're right man "part of being a dominant masculine man is communicating your wishes, getting what you want, and attending to your priorities. Don't let your friend turn you into a punk"

 

[BarryS1]

nexus321,

I think you already made a decision, but I can empathize where you are coming from. When I started last fall, I had serious constraints on my time being in college, yet wanted to do pickup. I quit my social life and threw myself into day and night game every week. I got better really fast, but when the sticking points hit, I felt unsuccessful and my happiness plummeted. I put all my eggs in two baskets - pickup and school. When the bad times hit, it hit hard! After I noticed this, I revamped my life and balanced it with a social life again. By balancing my life, I rode the ups and downs of pickup by having a support group of friends.

Is it worth putting your life on hold? I don’t think it’s a good idea.

I remember Chase making a post about how those starting fast in pickup burn out after a few months in contrast to those going slow and making it a long-term hobby.

If your intention is getting a girlfriend, sticking to pickup in the long term to build your skills is the way to go!