I haven’t had sex since quarantine

[Mrbolton]

I’ve been depressed recently. I feel like I may never have sex again. I’ve been on all the apps and can’t get a date. Any advice on how to get girls into my life right now? Or how do you deal with being alone for months on end? I’m having a hard time right now and I don’t know where else to go. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[trashKENNUT]

I’ve been depressed recently

You got a bigger problem than the sex problem. You can pay for sex to get that out of your system.

You can't choose. Because unfortunately, you and/or someone else put you in this spot.

I'm giving you a realistic view of what I see from here. Or maybe I'm wrong. You must let us know

 

[Skills]

I’ve been depressed recently. I feel like I may never have sex again. I’ve been on all the apps and can’t get a date. Any advice on how to get girls into my life right now? Or how do you deal with being alone for months on end? I’m having a hard time right now and I don’t know where else to go. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

The quarantine is extremely depressing, guys that have been in the game for years and are some of the best seducers, are in the same boat...

I am seeing 2 women and i had a week were i did not want to see one (due to the period, i don't like period sex)... And the other one behave out of line and i cut contact for a week (we call this soft next, were we withdraw total attention for unacceptable behavior for a period of time)...

And normally ^ this would not get to me, but during quarantine it totally got to me, so i sympathize, and i love being alone most of the time, but still we need that human interaction....

There is no guy i know good looking or not, that has not felt ugly with dating apps.... Dating apps will make you at times feel like unworthy, or that you are not good looking or like you are doing something wrong... there are 10 dudes per girl ratio in dating apps, and most girls do not even get to see your profile or are not hot enough unless you upgrade the membership....


Have you completed the newbie assignment ? https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/newbie-assignment.34/

 

[DarkKnight]

Skills is very right.... online apps can really play with your confidence because even 6's become really stuck up... girls who would not even dare to believe you are a possibility in real life have an attitude... alongside with online drawing tons of broken chicks who can be outright toxic.

For this reason I barely use onlinr and if I would it would just be supplemental or time killing.

I havent gotten laid since quarantaine either and its been getting to me too. My momentum is gone that is for sure. So I have to rebuild that..

 

[Mrbolton]

@DarkKnight and @Skills, yes I agree with you both. @ZacAdam I don’t understand. Could you articulate yourself better?

Apps may be the way people are meeting for the foreseeable future. I know I could improve my experience on the apps. I don’t want to make excuses and throw in the towel. Does anyone have an advice or what kinds of pics to use or how to message? I’m sure there is a strategy that could be employed. Beats me what it is.

 

[trashKENNUT]

I’ve been depressed recently. I feel like I may never have sex again

Well it sounds you have been depressed for awhile, a long while. And 'never have sex again' sounds pretty depressing.

Which goes far beyond the complain for needs. But rather something deep.

I’ve been on all the apps and can’t get a date. Any advice on how to get girls into my life right now?

You don't have any specifics except the indication of 'Fix my life right now'.

Did you just try to read more articles, Google or try something else then what you currently doing?

Well, you can't fix your life right now. And if your life isn't good, it will have to wait. And we have this pandemic. It will take awhile to fix your life.

It's not just you. It's everyone in this shit hole.

Yes, I am being 'Jordan Peterson' to you right now.

how do you deal with being alone for months on end? I’m having a hard time right now

It sounds like this happened way before Covid. Dry spells is normal.

Go fap or pay a hooker. You can't suddenly u-turn your life.

I don’t know where else to go.

You sound like you have deeper issues. I am bringing it to light.

Could you articulate yourself better?

Yes I can. Read again. I hope it helps.

 

[Mrbolton]

Well it sounds you have been depressed for awhile, a long while. And 'never have sex again' sounds pretty depressing.

No I haven’t been depressed for a long while. I’ve never been a player. I’m fine with that. There was always the potential for girlfriends and sex. Now that potential is gone and it is depressing. Of course I’m being somewhat facetious. I’ve had sex before and will again.

You don't have any specifics except the indication of 'Fix my life right now'.

I don’t want my life fixed. But I assume there’s people on here who know more about the apps than I. I would appreciate some advice. If you have any let me know.

Well, you can't fix your life right now. And if your life isn't good, it will have to wait. And we have this pandemic. It will take awhile to fix your life.

Fix my life? I’m not sure what you’re even taking about. Saying my life isn’t good is rude. My life is great. I’m just sexless and quarantined alone. It’s depressing

It sounds like this happened way before Covid. Dry spells is normal.

What makes it sound like that?

Go fap or pay a hooker. You can't suddenly u-turn your life.

I appreciate the unsolicited advise. I could have come up with that on my own. I’m not interested in a prostitute. But if you have any advice to help me meet girls on apps, that’s cool.

You sound like you have deeper issues. I am bringing it to light.

If you have advice I’d love to hear it. But it appears you’re trying to gaslight me when I’m already down. I’m not the person you psychoanalyzed me to be. But if I were the type of person you assumed I am, what help would your response have been?

 

[trashKENNUT]

If you have advice I’d love to hear it. But it appears you’re trying to gaslight me when I’m already down. I’m not the person you psychoanalyzed me to be

Psychoanalysis doesn't work after the fact. Whether you want it or not, you already have been analyzed.

Anyway, It's a tool, like money, to be use for "good" or "bad".

It seems that You read more about me more than I read about you.

I'm giving you a realistic view of what I see from here. Or maybe I'm wrong. You must let us know

Gaslighting doesn't have, this

Anyway, Hope the rest of the members helps.

 

[Sub-Zero]

Don’t worry about the apps. They’re very wishy-washy. I started with many likes and matches, got off, got back on and can’t get near anywhere I was before, and I have no idea why either.

You also gotta realize now I’m sure more men are on these apps, and a lot of women are using it for attention as well.

Women from apps have told me this.

Only advice I can give is either cold approach or social circle if you really want girls.

Or just focus on self-improvement.

Don’t be depressed because everyone is going through this.

 

[LouisVuitton]

Times are difficult for everyone. Something that makes a big difference for me with online is taking the conversation slow and patiently. It is important that she is comfortable with you. I got out of a relationship about three weeks ago. Since then I’ve met only one girl from online (Hinge). It took ten days from the first message to meet. Try to be patient. I know it’s difficult when you don’t have options.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Let it be a reminder that nothing is promised. You should be able to draw happiness from within and not rely on external sources to offer you pleasure or happiness.

What if you went to prison for a number of years? What if you got paralyzed in a car accident? What if you develop a chronic illness that leaves you disabled?

These are all situations where your freedoms are several limited just like quarantine except for longer/permanent durations. These situations are compromises of the physical world but the mind/spirit are within your control.

The reason you are depressed is not because you lack warm pussy or validation from a girl (which are all nice things you should aim to have) but you are depressed because you are resisting what is. You don't want what is true to be true.

Acceptance of reality will free you. If it were me I'd prob just daygame and take a vow of celibacy and focus on more important stuff until bring able to meet girls regularly is an option.

Alternatively if the woo woo stuff doesn't response then you can use your resistance of "what is" to fuel you to take drastic measures and find a way to get laid... But imo that time could be much better put to use on things you can do from home to improve your lot.

Women aren't going anywhere. You could drop off the face of the earth for 5 years without sex, come back and within a month be banging girls like you never took a break.

 

[Mrbolton]

Gaslighting doesn't have, this

That’s not true. That statement in itself is another attempt at gaslighting. I’m not sure what you’re dealing with but I’d prefer you not project it on me. I have a feeling you’re not having sex either. Something about your vibe is off, even over the computer screen.

 

[trashKENNUT]

*facepalm*

 

[LouisVuitton]

*facepalm*

Hey man. Gotta say You’re not being kind. Give the guy a break. You were rude and he called you on it.

 

[trashKENNUT]

I didn't know that trying to fix a deeper problem, is unkind?

how do you deal with being alone for months on end? I’m having a hard time right now and I don’t know where else to go. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I read this.

This statement explains his situation. At least that's how he presented. I mean if this is how bad he says he is in, You can't just u-turn your life JUST LIKE THAT.

I want him to LOWER HIS EXPECTATIONS.

You can't choose. Because unfortunately, you and/or someone else put you in this spot.

I'm giving you a realistic view of what I see from here. Or maybe I'm wrong. You must let us know

Get your self esteem back first.
You can't just go from months of being alone, having a hard time to suddenly get girls.

He gives me the implication that he wants EASY ANSWERS. You can't just go from depression to all the way to suddenly depend on APPS to save your life.

I get it, man. I also depend on APPS per se in other areas of life. Have to breakout of it.

But there is ways to mitigate pain. We all do this.

You either fap, pay a hooker or message old girls contacts and try to get sex from there. FWB.

That's an easy answer per se, while you fix your life.

So yea, To make it worse, we have a pandemic. It doesn't just suck for him. It sucks for everyone, like fucking really.

 

[Skills]

I posted this in another thread from my medical trt forum, a doctor posted this, about guys on "trt" posting like crazy about being depress and no libido:

Can I just say/ask something. (Yes It may piss a few of you off.)
There has been a huge uptick in "my libido has been poor for a month or two" posts.
Can we all think of maybe a few gigantic reasons that might be happening...currently? Like..maybe worldwide...?
just wanted to throw that out there.
PS, I'm not applying this to guys who've struggled with libido for a LONG time.
Carry on

As a practitioner Of sexual medicine I have learned that “stress” is a very significant cause of low libido and this is independent of androgen levels. We forget that libido is driven by numerous levers and androgen/sex steroids is but one of those. As we ramp up stress (and I mean this in the broadest sense) there is a direct reduction in libido. I have seen this clinically for years in the trenches. Whether it be job related, family related, pandemic related, etc. Just as you can’t “testosterone” yourself out of poor lifestyle/behavior choices—no amount of T will bury stresses impact on libido. Sure—there are some (a minority) in whom it will help, but nothing substitutes for recognizing the bigger picture as Jordan Grant says here. The more men perseverate on this issue with libido, the more they stoke the fires of psychogenic sexual dysfunction. Just recognize that Mother Nature always knows what she is doing. In a pandemic, it is not a good idea to be pregnant or to have a newborn—when in doubt, look to biology to explain things. Evolutionary pressures shed a lot of light on how our bodies react...

my point is that you are not alone a lot of dudes, out there depress and stress due to corona...

 

[Train]

What's helped me being alone is keeping busy. Examples:

• Meditation
• Reading
• Working out
• Chatting online
• Video games (solo and with people)
• Netflix
• Youtube
• Video chats or calls with loved ones

It's a good time to work on the non-social or solo parts of life. Doing the above (mix of "work" and leisure) helps me feel fulfilled but also relaxed enough that I don't break. There's socializing there so I don't go crazy.

If you're feeling lonely, try online video chats. For example, I joined a random Star Wars meet up via meetup.com. Met funny, nice people and had a good time!

Playing Fortnite with friends with mics has been fun too. You socialize while playing. Makes things less lonely.

As far as girls, I've been having difficulty as well. I was going to "level up" my online dating by getting killer pictures and a better bio. Chatting with girls online helps pass the time, even if meeting in person isn't feasible.