I've been approaching a lot of girls lately which I haven't put up because I wanted to experiment with something. See, last monday, when thinking about how this used to be fun and is no longer, I came up with a sentence, I thought at the time a magic sentence: "What matters is that you have fun" My game instantly leveled up and for the whole week I was projecting good vibes and didn't have a single mood swing. Until last night. And today. And probably for a long time in the future. My "magic effect" depleted and now, no matter how many times I say it, it has no power.
I approached a bunch of girls today, feeling worse and worse and being treated worse and worse but refusing to give in to my negative feelings and still approached. So, I ask a friend of mine who likes to do this too occasionally(he's black, of course) and he is my wingman for one approach. There are two of them plus a guy. The girl I talk to doesn't even give me her name until I ask and even scoots and turns away from me. Realizing that my approach is kaput, I turn to my friend to see what he's doing. He's joking around with the guy! The girls asks him: do you two know each other? My friend says "We go way back. We used to do this and that." They've never met before. I pathetically piggyback on his joke. "Yeah, we go way back too". We leave.
I realized how stiff I had been. I see him talk to one more girl:
"How you doing?"
She smiles. "Good!"
"Late for class?"
"No, Haha"
Two lines and he's made her more comfortable than all my pitiful deep-diving does. (I think that I'm deep diving wrong too. Should I do it when we first meet or on the date? Not that I get dates
He's as short as me, skinnier than me, not dressed as well, and with a goofy haircut and beard, but all this time I'VE BEEN THE AWKWARD ONE. I just don't feel like a man should feel, confident, smooth, and powerful. I'm just a dorky boy, overreaching and trying hard.
I've asked this question before in various ways: what is the right vibe? How should I come across? But the answers I get are unhelpful. Or maybe I'm just not interpreting them right. I feel like the solution is STARING ME IN THE FACE but I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong. Do you guys understand what I'm saying? Can you help in some way?
I sobbed in my car while driving home, I was so tormented. I'm going to take a break for a while because the stress from this is killing me.
I approached a bunch of girls today, feeling worse and worse and being treated worse and worse but refusing to give in to my negative feelings and still approached. So, I ask a friend of mine who likes to do this too occasionally(he's black, of course) and he is my wingman for one approach. There are two of them plus a guy. The girl I talk to doesn't even give me her name until I ask and even scoots and turns away from me. Realizing that my approach is kaput, I turn to my friend to see what he's doing. He's joking around with the guy! The girls asks him: do you two know each other? My friend says "We go way back. We used to do this and that." They've never met before. I pathetically piggyback on his joke. "Yeah, we go way back too". We leave.
I realized how stiff I had been. I see him talk to one more girl:
"How you doing?"
She smiles. "Good!"
"Late for class?"
"No, Haha"
Two lines and he's made her more comfortable than all my pitiful deep-diving does. (I think that I'm deep diving wrong too. Should I do it when we first meet or on the date? Not that I get dates
He's as short as me, skinnier than me, not dressed as well, and with a goofy haircut and beard, but all this time I'VE BEEN THE AWKWARD ONE. I just don't feel like a man should feel, confident, smooth, and powerful. I'm just a dorky boy, overreaching and trying hard.
I've asked this question before in various ways: what is the right vibe? How should I come across? But the answers I get are unhelpful. Or maybe I'm just not interpreting them right. I feel like the solution is STARING ME IN THE FACE but I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong. Do you guys understand what I'm saying? Can you help in some way?
I sobbed in my car while driving home, I was so tormented. I'm going to take a break for a while because the stress from this is killing me.