- Joined
- Nov 7, 2023
- Messages
- 1,102
It was a fun experience to be on the other side of things! Quite a bit to learn from it.
I was sitting on a chair on the street (they have these here instead of benches), sipping at a take-away coffee. Suddently this guy appeared from out of nowhere and said something that sounds like "Is nice!"
I was like "what?"
Guy: "Is nice" - vaguely signalling at my coffee (I think)
Me: "The coffee? Yes, it's good"
Guy "Holodo from" - that's what it sounded like. Took me a while to figure it out
Me: "Sorry?"
Guy "Holodo from" - I wasn't sure whether he wanted to know where I got my coffee or what
Me: "I don't understand"
Guy "You don't speak English?"
Me: "Yes!"
Guy "Holodo from" (lol) Ok I think he wants to know where I'm from.
Me: "I live here. And you?"
Guy "You from here?" (completely ignoring my question)
Me: "Yes"
Guy: "Is nice"
Me: "Yep..."
He also held out his hand/fist at some point, not sure if he wanted me to handshake him or what so I just fist-bumped him with my left hand, as non-committal as possible.
After this weird exchange, he walked away and sat down on a bench close to where I was sitting. Maybe he hoped I would reopen him or something? Lol, not gonna happen.
It took me a while to digest the situation, then I realized that I had just been cold approached. I had a good chuckle, thinking that wow, that's what you're doing with girls! Just that this guy seemed really clueless. But hey, maybe if you're into dudes it's easier? The straight ones will just ignore you, and the gay ones will be on top of you. I'm not gay, but he was not too bad looking, and young (maybe 25-30).
Here's what went through my head:
- At first I was thinking he is talking about my coffee. He said "nice", did he want to know whether the coffee was nice? Then "mumble mumble from", gesturing at my coffee cup... he wants to know where to get a good coffee or what?
- Then I realized he wanted to know where I'm from. I didn't want to tell him so I just said I live here (which was true).
- After he didn't reply to me asking him back where he's from., gave him short answers and stopped looking at him. His communication skills in English were abysmal... and anyway, I'm not into dudes. No chance of having a normal friendly chat with this guy, so bug off
- He walked off and sat nearby... I guess it's a good move to give the other party a chance to reopen you/ check you out from a safe distance or whatever.
Some lessons to be learned here for my own approaches with girls!
Off the top of my head, what he didn't do well:
- Don't appear from out of nowhere (it wasn't a complete deal breaker but it startled me)
- Speak clearly
- If the other party doesn't understand, rephrase what you're saying, don't repeat the same thing over and over (I think he said "Holodo from" at least 3 times)
- Make your intentions known (did he just want a friendly chat, or was it a pickup attempt?)
What he did well:
- If you decide to bail, stay nearby for a while so the other person has a chance to reevaluate their attitude
I was sitting on a chair on the street (they have these here instead of benches), sipping at a take-away coffee. Suddently this guy appeared from out of nowhere and said something that sounds like "Is nice!"
I was like "what?"
Guy: "Is nice" - vaguely signalling at my coffee (I think)
Me: "The coffee? Yes, it's good"
Guy "Holodo from" - that's what it sounded like. Took me a while to figure it out
Me: "Sorry?"
Guy "Holodo from" - I wasn't sure whether he wanted to know where I got my coffee or what
Me: "I don't understand"
Guy "You don't speak English?"
Me: "Yes!"
Guy "Holodo from" (lol) Ok I think he wants to know where I'm from.
Me: "I live here. And you?"
Guy "You from here?" (completely ignoring my question)
Me: "Yes"
Guy: "Is nice"
Me: "Yep..."
He also held out his hand/fist at some point, not sure if he wanted me to handshake him or what so I just fist-bumped him with my left hand, as non-committal as possible.
After this weird exchange, he walked away and sat down on a bench close to where I was sitting. Maybe he hoped I would reopen him or something? Lol, not gonna happen.
It took me a while to digest the situation, then I realized that I had just been cold approached. I had a good chuckle, thinking that wow, that's what you're doing with girls! Just that this guy seemed really clueless. But hey, maybe if you're into dudes it's easier? The straight ones will just ignore you, and the gay ones will be on top of you. I'm not gay, but he was not too bad looking, and young (maybe 25-30).
Here's what went through my head:
- At first I was thinking he is talking about my coffee. He said "nice", did he want to know whether the coffee was nice? Then "mumble mumble from", gesturing at my coffee cup... he wants to know where to get a good coffee or what?
- Then I realized he wanted to know where I'm from. I didn't want to tell him so I just said I live here (which was true).
- After he didn't reply to me asking him back where he's from., gave him short answers and stopped looking at him. His communication skills in English were abysmal... and anyway, I'm not into dudes. No chance of having a normal friendly chat with this guy, so bug off
- He walked off and sat nearby... I guess it's a good move to give the other party a chance to reopen you/ check you out from a safe distance or whatever.
Some lessons to be learned here for my own approaches with girls!
Off the top of my head, what he didn't do well:
- Don't appear from out of nowhere (it wasn't a complete deal breaker but it startled me)
- Speak clearly
- If the other party doesn't understand, rephrase what you're saying, don't repeat the same thing over and over (I think he said "Holodo from" at least 3 times)
- Make your intentions known (did he just want a friendly chat, or was it a pickup attempt?)
What he did well:
- If you decide to bail, stay nearby for a while so the other person has a chance to reevaluate their attitude
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