I met someone I really liked and it sucks that it didn't work

[Dragonetti]

This thread has the details. But basically I met someone whom I had instant intense chemistry right off the bat. The first date was great, she was all over me immediately and talked about how much chemistry we had, with a constant smile and giggle on her face as she started into me longingly. We had passionate, wild sex several times, and then she insisted that we see eachother very soon, so we made plans for a couple days later.

Then she said "i think we want different things, goodbye" before the second date.

Anyway I guess I am just venting and in my feelings, which is not an easy place to be as a man. Being rugpulled like this just sucks. I kind of want to ask her for an answer because I hate when things are left unexplained.

Yeah yeah I know the answer is "see more girls." I've bedded two since I've seen her, two more on the way probably, but I still feel frustrated. Occasionally you come across someone rare and special and it's swept away for no apparent reason

 

[ulrich]

Have you considered that she isn’t that special and instead she is very good at showing herself as what you want to see?

It has happened to me.
Girl that look like the perfect catch right from the start, you get quick sex, she says she likes you so much and then she says you two are not compatible.
It hurt me but after careful thinking it once and again, I came to the conclusion that the girl got way more game than I credited her for.

 

[Beck Bass]

It has happened to me.
Girl that look like the perfect catch right from the start, you get quick sex, she says she likes you so much and then she says you two are not compatible.
It hurt me but after careful thinking it once and again, I came to the conclusion that the girl got way more game than I credited her for.

I think what happens is girls like that are just automatically showing their "perfectselves" to most valueable guys but us players sleep with them quick regardless. They realize they lost a lot of power by giving away sex easily and probably have other guys chasing them that haven't had sex with them, so they excuse themselves out and keep on leading on the other guys for money/status/whatever else they want/need.

Also shit just happens, maybe other guy gave in on giving her a LTR and you look like trouble, deff happened with me before. Some girls are crazy hornbitches but still pretty much every girl will prioritize their long term plans of having a stable family with some "great guy" over just sex. Your best bet is to be mindblowing in sex and at least hinting in some long term value/future with her (without being a showboat chode ofc). Many times you really just isn't what a given girl is looking for in an LTR and they'll just move on quick (don't forget how most women are also very good at hiding their sexual past, so it probably wasn't her first "wild ride in the park").

 

[Dragonetti]

I think what happens is girls like that are just automatically showing their "perfectselves" to most valueable guys but us players sleep with them quick regardless. They realize they lost a lot of power by giving away sex easily and probably have other guys chasing them that haven't had sex with them, so they excuse themselves out and keep on leading on the other guys for money/status/whatever else they want/need.

Also shit just happens, maybe other guy gave in on giving her a LTR and you look like trouble, deff happened with me before. Some girls are crazy hornbitches but still pretty much every girl will prioritize their long term plans of having a stable family with some "great guy" over just sex. Your best bet is to be mindblowing in sex and at least hinting in some long term value/future with her (without being a showboat chode ofc). Many times you really just isn't what a given girl is looking for in an LTR and they'll just move on quick (don't forget how most women are also very good at hiding their sexual past, so it probably wasn't her first "wild ride in the park").

Interesting. I thought I did the "hint at a future" part because I said that being monogamous is something we could explore. So is kinky sex not the move on the first date?

 

[orkie123]

The reason you dont ask girls for an answer is because you will never get a satisfsctory answer. Even if they do their best to be honest and blunt, it wont be a helpful answer to you and still leave you feeling "unexplained". By asking, you also kill the chance of her coming back for the D in the future.

Be careful not to blame the wrong thing. One experience is not enough to draw any conclusions. Without a pattern, for all you know her ex came back in to her life and there was nothing you could have done.

The reason you sleep with more girls isn't that it will instantly heal all the pain. Its to maintain the confidence that you can get girls who will be equally or even better than the girl you wanted. It also stops you getting depressed or desperate.

Sooner or later you meet another girl who is probably even better and you lose the fuss about the previous one.

 

[Beck Bass]

So is kinky sex not the move on the first date?

Depends on the girl, but mostly not, if you wanna see her again.
Kinky sex is likely to trigger guilty post sex and her not knowing how to act towards you afterwards, even if she likes you and enjoyed the sex.
That said, you could still give her an orgasm with basic missionary, and be very considerate afterwards, and she would feel awesome about it. Kinky doesn't necessariry translates to better sex (though some girls are really into it)

Be careful not to blame the wrong thing. One experience is not enough to draw any conclusions. Without a pattern, for all you know her ex came back in to her life and there was nothing you could have done.

The reason you sleep with more girls isn't that it will instantly heal all the pain. Its to maintain the confidence that you can get girls who will be equally or even better than the girl you wanted. It also stops you getting depressed or desperate.

Sooner or later you meet another girl who is probably even better and you lose the fuss about the previous one.

All very true, be careful to get too hang up on one thing, when generally it's a combination of things, and it could be something totally different that mostly caused it that you're unware of. And asking girls is indeed mostly useless, you can ask them what they liked in the sex and how they would like it to be next time, but if they are over it, they owe you nothing and likely won't say anything useful