- Joined
- Jan 5, 2014
- Messages
- 3,353
I had a vision, almost an epiphany last night, as my blood boiled to the point that I could barely even sleep and had to show up to work tired today. The thought lingers in my head that due to my upbringing and how I did not have the same circumstances as a natural from a wealthy area, no private or high-end public schools, and no fratty college experience; I am paying the price in terms of social life and quality friendships. That because I started to peak after college, I am somehow confined and limited when it comes to social life because 90% of the population got all of the fun out of their systems in college, if not 90% then at least the hot girls and the socially-connected cool guys did.
It is a tough predicament to be in because you can't change the past, you can't change how you were raised, and who you ran into growing up that impacted your life. You cannot change the environment you grew up in which also determines so much of how you turn out outside of genetics themselves.
Then I reflected, I thought about something I read in a book by Jordan Peterson, compare yourself to who you are today and how far you have come, not someone else.
I hate to toot my own horn but I have come pretty far I feel like, in so many ways.
1. I managed to move from a cliquish smaller city full of conservative, close-minded, and traditional people stuck in old times to a world class city while doubling my salary yet somehow not having as luxurious of a living situation. Four years ago in college, I would have not imagined this, at all.
2. I used to not be able to get a match on dating apps, now I regularly match with a girl every other day and can get a date a week, despite not being jacked or shredded or built like an athlete. Some of the girls I have been on dates with are girls most average guys out there would love to meet.
3. I used to have to beg for a job years ago, now I have to ignore recruiters emailing me every day to take an interview with their company.
At the same time I still have ways to go as well to improve. I can work on being more handsome by getting shredded, working even more on my social skills, and continuing to master what goes on in my head. These are things I can control. I cannot control the fact that I didn't have an awesome college experience which is costing me a good social life even now given that people after college seem to stick with their old college friends. What I can control is where my thoughts lie and what I spend time with, what occupies my head, and I can control myself by making myself more thankful.
I can appreciate the fact that I am in a world class city where on every corner, there is a hot girl and something going on.
I can appreciate the fact that I am still in my mid-20s, with at least some time by my side to potentially enjoy great experiences in life.
I can appreciate the fact that I have you guys who have been more than patient with me.
I can appreciate the fact that if I want, I can get a decent looking woman naked with me in bed right now.
I can appreciate the fact that outside of a lot of friends and a cool social life, I have a lot to be appreciative of.
I can appreciate the fact that a past which would have made a lot of guys commit suicide, I escaped and now I am here.
And the changing times, I can appreciate them, because maybe they yield something good for me.
Back 50 years ago a man would be shamed relentlessly for sleeping around with random women in his 20s, now it is more of a norm.
Maybe I am one of many that lacked a cool social life in college and a large social circle to be a part of. Perhaps my tribe, social circle, crew of awesome friends, fulfilling social experiences, brotherhood, and community of fun people in their 20s who make good money, are single, and just want to have lots of fun is out there. Maybe that community is bigger than I initially thought and it is almost a hidden treasure of sorts waiting to be found, who the fuck knows.
Maybe American society lied its ass off when it said after college everyone is supposed to get married, have kids, and settle down into misery, mortgage, and family. Maybe American society lied hardcore about the fact that a fun social life for a single guy is impossible after college. Maybe American society lied its ass off about the fact that there are no fun, single, and cool wealthy people after college. Maybe American society lied its ass off about the fact that there is no fun, excitement, and cool fulfilling social experiences to be had after college with great people. Maybe being older than your early 20s does not mean boring slow paced dinner parties and garbage bland boring friends that bitch about their boss.
Even if it does, even if worst case scenario is the likelihood, there is so much more to appreciate.
The fact that we live in awesome times with so much to offer. The fact that we have a community like this where we can exchange ideas and the site owner, who can deal with a lot of shit and has a lot of tolerance, wants us to succeed. Even the fact that despite the misery, bitterness, stupidity, and unfair life that is out there we live in a society where we have somewhere to finally share our thoughts. A place like this where we can grow and see others like us grow into something.
I refuse to let my loner past of misery make me unhappy even now when we live in such good times, it will not win, as desperately as it wants to. It will be reminded of the fact that despite the unfair shit it threw my way at the start of life, it still could not knock me out. Now I am going in for the counter-punches while the miserable unfair past has punched itself out, sweaty and so tired while being out of stamina. I give it a nasty counter left hook, ruthless kicks to the body, a nice finishing head kick, and it collapses down for the count. I keep pounding it with punches and elbows, the ref pulls me off and I lift my hand up high.
I will win, you will win, and WE will win.
It is a tough predicament to be in because you can't change the past, you can't change how you were raised, and who you ran into growing up that impacted your life. You cannot change the environment you grew up in which also determines so much of how you turn out outside of genetics themselves.
Then I reflected, I thought about something I read in a book by Jordan Peterson, compare yourself to who you are today and how far you have come, not someone else.
I hate to toot my own horn but I have come pretty far I feel like, in so many ways.
1. I managed to move from a cliquish smaller city full of conservative, close-minded, and traditional people stuck in old times to a world class city while doubling my salary yet somehow not having as luxurious of a living situation. Four years ago in college, I would have not imagined this, at all.
2. I used to not be able to get a match on dating apps, now I regularly match with a girl every other day and can get a date a week, despite not being jacked or shredded or built like an athlete. Some of the girls I have been on dates with are girls most average guys out there would love to meet.
3. I used to have to beg for a job years ago, now I have to ignore recruiters emailing me every day to take an interview with their company.
At the same time I still have ways to go as well to improve. I can work on being more handsome by getting shredded, working even more on my social skills, and continuing to master what goes on in my head. These are things I can control. I cannot control the fact that I didn't have an awesome college experience which is costing me a good social life even now given that people after college seem to stick with their old college friends. What I can control is where my thoughts lie and what I spend time with, what occupies my head, and I can control myself by making myself more thankful.
I can appreciate the fact that I am in a world class city where on every corner, there is a hot girl and something going on.
I can appreciate the fact that I am still in my mid-20s, with at least some time by my side to potentially enjoy great experiences in life.
I can appreciate the fact that I have you guys who have been more than patient with me.
I can appreciate the fact that if I want, I can get a decent looking woman naked with me in bed right now.
I can appreciate the fact that outside of a lot of friends and a cool social life, I have a lot to be appreciative of.
I can appreciate the fact that a past which would have made a lot of guys commit suicide, I escaped and now I am here.
And the changing times, I can appreciate them, because maybe they yield something good for me.
Back 50 years ago a man would be shamed relentlessly for sleeping around with random women in his 20s, now it is more of a norm.
Maybe I am one of many that lacked a cool social life in college and a large social circle to be a part of. Perhaps my tribe, social circle, crew of awesome friends, fulfilling social experiences, brotherhood, and community of fun people in their 20s who make good money, are single, and just want to have lots of fun is out there. Maybe that community is bigger than I initially thought and it is almost a hidden treasure of sorts waiting to be found, who the fuck knows.
Maybe American society lied its ass off when it said after college everyone is supposed to get married, have kids, and settle down into misery, mortgage, and family. Maybe American society lied hardcore about the fact that a fun social life for a single guy is impossible after college. Maybe American society lied its ass off about the fact that there are no fun, single, and cool wealthy people after college. Maybe American society lied its ass off about the fact that there is no fun, excitement, and cool fulfilling social experiences to be had after college with great people. Maybe being older than your early 20s does not mean boring slow paced dinner parties and garbage bland boring friends that bitch about their boss.
Even if it does, even if worst case scenario is the likelihood, there is so much more to appreciate.
The fact that we live in awesome times with so much to offer. The fact that we have a community like this where we can exchange ideas and the site owner, who can deal with a lot of shit and has a lot of tolerance, wants us to succeed. Even the fact that despite the misery, bitterness, stupidity, and unfair life that is out there we live in a society where we have somewhere to finally share our thoughts. A place like this where we can grow and see others like us grow into something.
I refuse to let my loner past of misery make me unhappy even now when we live in such good times, it will not win, as desperately as it wants to. It will be reminded of the fact that despite the unfair shit it threw my way at the start of life, it still could not knock me out. Now I am going in for the counter-punches while the miserable unfair past has punched itself out, sweaty and so tired while being out of stamina. I give it a nasty counter left hook, ruthless kicks to the body, a nice finishing head kick, and it collapses down for the count. I keep pounding it with punches and elbows, the ref pulls me off and I lift my hand up high.
I will win, you will win, and WE will win.
