"I think that we would be better as friends" - Best response?

[avgs30]

A girl texted me this after 2 dates that went pretty well, in my opinion.

In Chase's article: https://www.girlschase.com/content/just- ... -nightmare

He says to "Drop the girl and move on."

How exactly do you do this by text? Just say nothing?

I came across an interesting article - I rarely take dating strategy advice from women but she said that something a guy she friend-zoned said really made her think and respect him forever:

http://datingadvicefromagirl.com/what-t ... ends_1655/

"“Sorry sweetie, I have enough friends. And God knows, I could never look at you and see you as just a friend.”

I'm strongly considering saying this and just leaving it. She also says in her blog post that If "things started off smoothly and there were romantic sparks but then something went awry, what I suggest you do is first ask her what happened… ," which I'm dying to ask since I'm in her situation: I'm the younger guy who got friend-zoned. Then hopefully after she tells me, I'll send her that text, which is true, I don't want her as a friend.

I don't think asking "what happened" is coming off as high value but I really do want to know. Then I'll send that cryptic text which also happens to be a compliment that ends it.

Any thoughts?

 

[Lover]

1. The easiest way is to next her and move on without a second thought (which I would strongly suggest)

2. You could send her a message like the one you found on that blog to end things. Just make sure it's honest and congruent.

If you think it's over between you these two solutions are the way to go. Either way you will both move on with your lives.

As for the "I want to know what I did wrong" thing, don't ask her that. There might be several reasons why, and you cannot expect an honest answer. If you haven't got laid after two dates, you were most likely moving too slow. Instead of bothering the girl with this you should write field rapports and have a journal on the GC boards to analyze your interactions verbally and non-verbally and get feedback from other seducers.

a-jay

 

[HellAtlantic]

It's ok, she doesn't really wanna be your friend either. It's just something to say with the hopes that the other person will get the hint that it's never gonna work out. If you never text her again I guarantee you won't get a "hey where you been?" text from her. Take it like a man and move on. Can't win them all.

 

[mb1]

"Best friends", then kiss her

 

[Anonymous]

This is what I do. It works for me because it's congruent and it's basically a hail mary type of thing to do. You've basically already lost her anyway at this point. I will usually try to get her to meet up in a low key spot, no huge time commitment, because saying it in person is much more effective than over the phone.

Me: "So you know how you said you wanted to be friends? Well, I'd be lying to you if I said I would satisfied with your friendship. I find you attractive and I would like to keep getting to know you better. I am not your friend, nor will I ever try to be. I could not spend time with you under the premise of being friends in all honesty. If you're up to seeing me without these false pretenses, we can hang out. If not, no harm done. I will, however, not pretend that I want to be just you friend. I'm not looking for friendship. That's not what I want. What I value is connection."

Then you walk away. You don't wait for her response. Leave the ball in her court. And then forget about her. Move on.

This is not a tactic. This is honesty. It takes a lot of balls to do this and to present it without apology. It's worked for me and it's also fizzled out. But the point is, you're being honest and straightforward, no hidden agenda.

 

[Estate]

In all honesty, Its happened us all at some point.

Best thing you can do is delete her number and go meet more girls. End of.

I know Chase wrote that good comeback but I think that works more in the context of when you're being playful. Like you both say you should just be friends when the vibe between you is obviously much more than friends. It's teasing, banter.

If she tries to friendzone and she means it. Just drop it is best I feel.
If you try to "win her back" you sound needy.
If you try to accept her friend inviation, you sound weak.

It's ok to be nice if you want but I wouldn't expect it to win her back, so just move on seems the best advice.

 

[avgs30]

J.J-

I thought of using your strategy but I just didn't think there was a good chance I could get this girl out "as friends" so that's why I chose to choose a modified version of that text. If I saw her regularly as part of a social circle it'd be much easier but she's busy (at least acts super busy) and pretty strong willed.

Whether that text works or not (99% chance I'll never see or even text her again) it feels good to leave on my terms, even though I admit I'm still hurt.

NEXT.

 

[Throwaway01]

First of all observe yourself before you observe others so damn much,

Obviously something wasn't exactly on between both of you and what you write in either cases won't even matter at all,
even more if you use;

"“Sorry sweetie, I have enough friends. And God knows, I could never look at you and see you as just a friend.”

That's gonna sound odd as fuck so try acting like your normal self instead and and talk to her, if you use the line
you're gonna come off sounding like an ass and pretty much most of the girls around her will probably hate you or think
you're an idiot instead of some high value guy.

 

[Byron]

For future reference, I'd say the best thing to do right after someone says that is give a sexy smirk, find a way to exit the conversation, and cut contact, or if you are forced to see her, keep the vibe very sexual or aloof. Sorta like an "I'm hotter than you" thing. Don't be a dick about it though, just enough so that she sees what she's missing

 

[avgs30]

I rarely look to forums to see what to actually text, but I ended up saying:

"Sorry Kate, I have enough friends. I don't think I could see you as just a friend."

All of this is genuine. Not just something I found to say that doesn't apply.

@throwaway: Is it "odd as fuck" ? Probably. But being normal hasn't ever helped in these situations.

Anyway, tbh I'm still hurt. Usually I immediately brush these things off like they're nothing. I really tried (maybe too hard) and she really acted like it was going well.

I don't know why but I just can't get over this particular girl. I will eventually.

 

[Dude909]

Rule number 1 in life: always learn from your failures. If a girl says this to you, it means you were too friendly, too nice, not flirty enough, not exciting, not a "sexual threat".

Now you know what to improve with the next girls.

 

[Throwaway01]

Well what happened is she rejected you and you just replied to her like the way alot of guys would respond to her.

You should've just said sure why not and ask if she'd wanna hang out, the friend thing would pretty much disappear if
you had gotten romantic with her in time instead of pushing the whole "I don't see you as a friend" which
basically means something like you were only thinking about having sex and leaving her cold and alone.

Which she clearly isn't interested in. Anyways don't worry about it, we all made similar mistakes.
Learn from this and be warmer more lighthearted and romantic (when the time calls for it) and you'll do better.