If an old friend contacts you and she plays games with you, are you a provider?


Space Monkey
space monkey
Aug 14, 2019
About 6 years ago, I was friends with a girl. Long story short, I stopped talking to her.

The other day I randomly got a text from her saying 'hey it's been a long time. hope you don't mind me reaching out but I missed you, i realized you were a good friend'
She's about 27 and currently has a boyfriend.

We start talking on the phone and we just update each other with our lives. I'm dating a few girls and she has a boyfriend. She always seemed to get jealous when she found out I'm dating.

Soon, she started playing 'hard to get' with me. I would text her to call me to catch up. And she would be like I'm busy, i'll call you in a bit. I say no worries. And she calls me, but I'm taking a nap so I don't pick up. I text her 'hey i was napping, call me when you're free again'. And she says she's busy again. Then I leave to meet my friend and tell her I'll just talk to you another time. She texts saying I'm busy all week.

I didn't see it til the next day and I just say okay, have a good week. Then she calls me right away saying she was wondering how my night was.

I told her 'you're being annoying as fuck. Why are you acting like you're busy when you're clearly not?"
And she says "You're being insecure. Don't talk to me again, bye"

Why is she playing this stupid hard to get game with me? I just don't get it.


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Dec 17, 2018
Re: If an old friend contacts you and she plays games with you, are you a provid

Jesslee dude! Ya not a provider, ya haven't provided her with anything?? You're actually playing games with yourself more than she is here. Top rule don't persist if she's playing games. She'll soon cut it out or seek validation elsewhere...

Her text is bait, it's testing the waters an it's a reach out. She's remembered ya, remembered good things an wanted to rekindle. She's jealous cause she's interested. Usuall behaviour.

She's not necessarily playing hard to get but could be put off with needy behaviour. She's failed a compliance test, accepting she's busy is cool. Stay cool!

That's why she called ya straight away, ya were outcome independent. Having an emotional vent on her was weak an not cool. Yes call her out on her bull shit but not from an emotional place!! You are insecure, don't talk to her again. Don't let her talk to ya like that an cut contact. If she's interested she'll come back.

For hard to get she's technically off the market yet calling ya to see how ya night was? Chasing behaviour. Enable it an reward it my night was good, look I'm busy but we can talk later, when ya free? We can get a coffee.... ya would then have her out in person dude!!