I'm a Narcissistic fucking Sociopath. What can I do?

[Cacc]

If I had to describe myself, in a way I'd say, I'm like water. I take the form of whatever helps me to best achieve my goals. I don't have anything I consider to be my "congruent" self.

For awhile now, I've been molding myself into a man who is both strong and fierce, yet sincere and warm. This serves the purpose of being a persona that's good for seducing women yet is also likable, which allows me to make friends easy and I like the validation. People tell me how much they like me all the time.


But, every once in awhile, I let loose. It usually happens when I'm angry and I end up not restraining myself, and I will let loose the most heinous evil things you can ever say to a person, all while cracking a smile.

Sometimes, It'll get physical. I've hit girls before. I drew blood from her lips with a slap and smiled psychotically at the watching bystander.


When these things happen, the people, 100% percent deserve it. It's like poking the bear. It takes a certain degree of abuse for me to say fuck it and let loose and ultimately destroy them, the thing is, when I do let loose, there's no going back. The shackles have been broken and I can no longer restrain myself.


I'm pretty sure if I kill someone I won't care emotionally. There's a certain person I hate enough to kill. The only reason why I don't do it is because I don't want to go to jail.


In these last 2 weeks, 2 of my family members died, and when I was told, in each scenario I was completely unflappable. I had to fake giving a shit. In fact, I had to restrain myself because I was about to laugh.

You know those people that fake like you? And it just shows? That's me except, I fake acting like a decent person. Except that being a sociopath makes me very good at being believable.



In a sense, I'm glad that I found the girls chase website. Following Chase's reading, I have been able to develop a persona that is good. I have developed certain rules or morals if you want to call it that.

It's made me a better person because I'm forcing myself to be one. And for the most part... It works. I only ever let out what's inside me maybe... once or twice a year. But it still happens. And when it does it's bad.


I don't know if there's anything I can do though? I've managed to restrain myself and fit a good-natured persona only because it benefits me. I enjoy the perks. It's better than being a douche.


Even so, I feel like if I'm ever in the wrong place at the wrong time, I'll kill someone. And probably laugh about it.


I've always read that psycho/sociopaths can't really change because there is no incentive for them too. But I've changed and restrained myself more than most ever have.

I don't know if it truly is possible for me to change who I really am deep inside, I've been reconstructing myself for like 4 years now which is why I very rarely lash out psychotically.

But can I ever truly change? I don't want to murder someone. I don't want to rape someone. I'm a bad man and I relish it.

I make up rules to stand by and guide my actions but I don't really have morals. When push comes to shove I will probably disregard those rules and let go.


If I really wanted to I would kill you, rape your corpse, dump your body, and play some video games after. Not that I would(I don't have an incentive to kill anyone), but I know if I were to do that I'd be just fine.



My question is, how are your sociopathic or psychopathic friends like? What dictates their actions? Do they stand by certain beliefs they have implanted in themselves, merely as a way to live within society?

Are they evil? Are some of them warm and good?

 

[andersen09]

You're the type of guy who reads on google that women love men with dark triad personalities. So he starts thinking about why he's a "psychopath" or "narcissistic" and come up with reasons to think of himself as a dark triad. Whether to feel cool or whatever the reason.
It's not bad or good, it's just what it is.

If you really were a sociopath, you wouldn't be on here writing about why you think you're a psychopath.
I've ran into plenty of em and when I worked in Mental Health in the military. You're not one of em.

And if you still believe you are, great, go use it to get good with women

 

[Cacc]

o he starts thinking about why he's a "psychopath"

First off, I said socio not psycho. They're similar, except psychopaths don't actually know right from wrong where as sociopaths do. So, comparing me to psychopaths who wind up in the mental hospitals is laughable. Especially, since most sociopaths have been known to live in society just fine and aren't serial killers nor rapists. SO you might be watching too many movies.

Now that I derailed that, moving on.

If you really were a sociopath, you wouldn't be on here writing about why you think you're a psychopath.

Did you know there's a subreddit for sociopaths? Cool huh? Looks like they do post on forums

I have grandiose sense of self, no real morals, lack of empathy, lack of remorse. This is why I believe I am or at least have some strong tendencies.


If you can provide some info on why you don't believe I am, I'll be happy to hear it.


P.S: Some other cool info. Psychopaths are born that way. Where as Sociopaths have the gene to become sociopathic but it has to be triggered by series of events in their life. I've had those happen to me.

 

[andersen09]

I know you want to be psychopath/sociopath/narcissistic/whatever you want to call it, but here's a proper term to describe your own self, disillusional conspiracy theorists. Did you know there's a forum for that too? I know it's quite the evidence.

1. "Las Vegas Shooting is fake"
viewtopic.php?t=17228

No explanation needed lmaooo

2. "Did you know there's a forum for sociopaths?"

Of course there is. These are the same types of people that jack off together to call themselves a "sociopath" or "psychopath" or "dark-triad men" and fantasize about how much women love them. l o l.

Did you know there was a forum for pua haters who got together to say pua is for idiots? I had no idea pointing a finger to a forum for "sociopaths" served as an evidence.

3. No I said mental health, not psychiatric hospital. It's where people come for counseling. l o l .

You say I watch too many movies when I made no mentions of any movies what-so-ever.
Matter of fact I think it's you that idolize characters such as Joker and fantasize about how you'd be a lady killer when you imitate him and call yourself a "sociopath"

lol.

I think you're funny man. Probably cause you're a "socio-path" thats a lady killer.

Quit trolling. Go get women. "sociopath" since you feel no empathy. lmaoo

 

[Cacc]

1. "Las Vegas Shooting is fake"
viewtopic.php?t=17228

No explanation needed lmaooo

I guess you missed the part where I admit I was wrong and show evidence. It takes a man to admit he was wrong, but it takes half a man to use a half truth as a means of somehow furthering their argument.

Especially when it has nothing to do with the topic. You're simply using it to convey i'm somehow crazy in order to signify my arguments are no longer valid - thus making your arguments more valid. Nice try lol.

Of course there is. These are the same types of people that jack off together to call themselves a "sociopath" or "psychopath" or "dark-triad men" and fantasize about how much women love them. l o l.

Did you know there was a forum for pua haters who got together to say pua is for idiots? I had no idea pointing a finger to a forum for "sociopaths" served as an evidence.

Did you know there's a forum called girlschase boards? It's full of losers pretending they're actually good with women but all the lay reports are actually fake.

See what I did there? Same thing you just did.

You took something I said and swung it to the extreme end of the spectrum with absolutely ZERO evidence. Let me ask you a rhetorical question, did you check out the forum?

No I said mental health, not psychiatric hospital. It's where people come for counseling. l o l .

Thanks for clearing that up. I don't see how this in anyway adds to your argument but ok. Let me get this straight,

Are you saying that you know me in real life and can conclude that I am indeed, not a narcissist, and I am indeed, not a sociopath with at least 100% conviction?

If you are saying that, then are you saying that,

everyone with sociopathy has the same degree of it, and all people with sociopathy have the same traits, with 100% conviction?

Can you say these things?

I'm guessing since you actually don't know the difference between sociopathy and psychopathy, that you in fact, can't say these things and neither are you a licensed psychiatrist capable of giving a diagnosis. Much less online.

"sociopath" since you feel no empathy. lmaoo

Definition of Psychopathy by Wikipedia:

Psychopathy, sometimes considered synonymous with sociopathy, is traditionally defined as a personality disorder[1] characterized by persistent antisocial behavior, impaired empathy and remorse, and bold, disinhibited, egotistical traits. Different conceptions of psychopathy have been used throughout history. These conceptions are only partly overlapping and may sometimes be contradictory.[2]

Definition of Antisocial Personality Disorder(medical term for socio/psychopathy) by Wikipedia:

Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD), also known as sociopathy, is a personality disorder characterized by a long term pattern of disregard for, or violation of, the rights of others. An impoverished moral sense or conscience is often apparent, as well as a history of crime, legal problems, or impulsive and aggressive behavior.[1][2]

Many of these things I explained I have.



Yet, you still failed to answer my previous question:

If you can provide some info on why you don't believe I am, I'll be happy to hear it.

I wasn't looking for an argument, simply, for you to explain your reason.


Instead, Andersen attacks me and rather than answering my question and explaining his thoughts, he decides to instead, try and beat the man rather than what the actual discussion is about. Because it's all he can really do. He has no basis of which to stand upon. Just some guy shouting at his keyboard.


Then again, I didn't expect to have a proper discussion with a man who acts nice towards others and becomes hurt and angry when they don't act nice towards him back and repeatedly gets called a bitch by women(seriously, read his posts. They're golden).

So much for attacking the man right? Just fighting fire with fire.

 

[andersen09]

Alright, you are the ultimate socio-path. In fact you are the leader of all leading socio-paths.

You are the one who Joker looked up to.
You are the one people looked to when they needed an inspiration for all the psychopath roles in the movies.
You are the Hitler, of all sociopaths and narcissists.
You are the one authors write about when they write a book called "How to deal with sociopaths and narcissistic boyfriends"
You are the one all women fall for as the "Bad Boy Sociopath/Psychopath"

All hail. The most "narcissistic fucking sociopath" lady killer, and the only.
The only true alpha dark-triad man alive up to date.

I bow down to you. all hail, Cacc, the one and only, sociopath.
I apologize for not recognizing your greatness, oh almighty sociopath.
Please teach me the ways, of the narissistic sociopath lady killer.
To seduce any women without empathy, mercy, and remorse, just like you.
Waving their panties as flags to express their loyalty to the only one.
I humbly beg you, o almighty one, teach me the ways of the dark side.

 

[Cacc]

good girl

 

[andersen09]

good girl

So when does our lessons begin on how to be a sociopath my master?

I'd like to get bitches like you, I too want to be the almighty sociopath.

 

[Richard]

I feel, based on reading this, that you're purposefully trying to portray yourself as a narcissist/sociopath.

Just feels way too try-hard and doesn't have any of the tell-tale details of how narcissists and sociopaths actually write.

There's even irony in your title.

-Richard

 

[Sandman]

.

There's even irony in your title.

-Richard

Haha only noticed it now

- Cacc

Being a sociopath isn't something to inspire. I don't have any training in this so I might be completely off the mark here but I suggest trying to imagine other people's pain if you want to change. A man needs to have principles, a moral fiber.

 

[andersen09]

Then again, I didn't expect to have a proper discussion with a man who acts nice towards others and becomes hurt and angry when they don't act nice towards him back and repeatedly gets called a bitch by women(seriously, read his posts. They're golden).

So much for attacking the man right? Just fighting fire with fire.

I just read this. Oof you got me there, some women do call me a "bitch" and still calls me a bitch after I fuck her and she finds out my number is in double digits.
Now that I think of it, I think it's cause I'm a sociopath too!

But wait, you're a sociopath too but you can't even get a girl to text you back?

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=17299&p=86119#p86119

What's going on? I thought sociopaths were lady-killing machines.

Come on professor!
You're supposed to help me the ways of the sociopath. :'(
I look up to you.

 

[Drck]

Beware of what you wish for

They say, Nothing better than own experience. Try to kill somebody or rape somebody. You’ll go to prison for years, if not decades. Simple as that.

Little room with filthy shithole in the corner. No tv, no google, no chasing girls. Crappy food. If you get lucky you’ll get to fuck some fag once in a while. If unlucky, bigger and stronger baba will be breathing on your neck while raping your ass. Your biggest excitement will be when guards beat the crap out of you, but that only when you get really bored and chose to disobey stupid orders of some frustrated meathead. You’ll never know which day somebody will try to stab you with rusty fork or screwdriver. Remain positive though, at least you’ll have plenty of time for philosophy and bible studies.

Think anybody will give a damn about you, perhaps feel sorry? Think twice

 

[Cacc]

Richard,

Well I do love me some attention. I really do.

Maybe I'm not full blown as in "my life is regularly impaired because of it."

However I did some stuff as a kid. I killed a lot of animals and loved causing them pain. I constantly hurt my sister too and I'd rub my dick on her at night. I was 6 and she was 12.

I did a lot of bad shit growing up, and ok maybe im not truly narc/socio I'd have to get a diagnosis but I do have tendencies. I think the fact that I'm talking about it means im not 100% full blown.

But I do exhibit a lack of empathy, no morality, and grandiosity.

However I don't exhibit traits like believing Im perfect and never wrong like a narc would. I also don't manipulate and see others as just tools for me to use like a sociopath would.

 

[Richard]

The fact that you're even aware of these things without a diagnosis or professional input means you're not a narcissist or sociopath.

You're also trying to explain to me why you are or are not a narc/socio based on symptoms you're familiar with: which is why you referenced the grandiosity, no morality, manipulation, etc. That's not how real narc/sociopaths act.

Even the way you're approaching this is all wrong. I said you're not a real narc/sociopath and you submitted to my frame with "Maybe I'm not full blown as in "my life is regularly impaired because of it." Again, with real narcissists and sociopaths that shit doesn't happen.

Keep in mind, though, that EVERYONE has traits of psychopathy and sociopathy. Typically, the better a leader you are the more highly you would score for psychopathy and sociopathy in personality inventories. Every president the United States has ever had would score highly but that doesn't make them terrible people; having these traits/tendencies doesn't MAKE you a bad or evil person.

 

[Cacc]

Even the way you're approaching this is all wrong. I said you're not a real narc/sociopath and you submitted to my frame with "Maybe I'm not full blown as in "my life is regularly impaired because of it." Again, with real narcissists and sociopaths that shit doesn't happen.

All I am, is a kid trying to discover who I really am and why I am the way I am. What I want, is someone who can come in and explain to me why they believe I'm not the things I proclaimed to be.

Just because I say something doesn't mean I believe it 100%. It may just be that I want to entice discussion so that I may put the pieces together and know with certainty if it is, or it is not.

If someone discusses with me, I'll listen.

Keep in mind, though, that EVERYONE has traits of psychopathy and sociopathy. Typically, the better a leader you are the more highly you would score for psychopathy and sociopathy in personality inventories. Every president the United States has ever had would score highly but that doesn't make them terrible people; having these traits/tendencies doesn't MAKE you a bad or evil person.

You think it is normal that I don't feel empathy for my 2 family members that died? One of them fell down a ladder and hit his head. As my father told me this I wanted to crack up. My mother calls me to tell me my grandpa just died of cancer, and I was just blank. Literally felt nothing. How exactly is that normal? Why don't I care that people I know die? What does it mean Richard?


I do bad things sometimes and then go on like nothing happened. I don't feel bad when I hurt people that don't deserve it. Wouldn't you say most people feel bad about the bad things they do? Well, why dont I care?

 

[GeneralFap]

I have a B.S. in psychology and I agree with Richard youre probably not a sociopath. First of all, a sociopath would almost never admit to having sociopathy. Second, he would not be asking for advice to alleviate or cure his symptoms. You probably have some other issue going on that needs to be dealt with. Maybe youre glorifying these traits because you are feeling a lot of pain inside, and embodying them is your way of numbing yourself. But i dont know you personally so I cant say for sure.

 

[Richard]

Probably means you weren't close to your family members, I have the same attitude as you. I've had people around me die and I refuse to go to a funeral service because I didn't feel any significant emotion about it. That's not to say I don't have empathy, I have very high empathy but I'm selective as well; if a person is in my life but doesn't have an impact on me then them no longer existing in my life doesn't do much for me.

However, if my mom died, or my father figure/Karate teacher or his daughters (who are like my sisters) died then I would absolutely 100% mourn. I'd also say that I'm a bit of an outlier because I think about death/dying/living from an existential and humanistic point of view so my thoughts/opinions/views don't reflect mass society. So, I may have sociopathic/psychopathic because I see things that way or I may see things that way because I have some sociopathic/psychopathic traits.

If anything, it seems like you're comparing your individuality to a mass society and you're afraid because you're not fitting in. If society does X, and you do Y then you assume it means you have a problem but it doesn't.

Also, if you're really trying to discover who you are then you have to do that yourself. Nobody has the credibility to come in and explain to you who you are because nobody except you lives your life. It's literally impossible for anyone to credibly explain YOU to you and nobody is responsible for your life except for you, either. It's not somebody's responsibility to explain YOU to you, is what I'm trying to say.

Anyway, to answer your question, yes; the things you're doing aren't all that abnormal, just seems that way because you're looking at things through society's lens - they say you "should" be sad when someone dies but that doesn't mean you have to, it's just societal programming. The only thing that really stands out to me as atypical is hurting people that don't deserve it, probably related to why you don't feel anything for the family members that died, provided you didn't feel close to them (and I'm assuming you didn't). There's usually an overarching theme in the things that stand out in our lives so, if you don't feel bad about people dying AND you're hurting people who don't deserve it then what's the underlying theme there? These are the kinds of questions I was asked/that I asked myself when I was going through my self-discovery journey.

-Richard

 

[Cacc]

Oh ok Richard. Thanks.

Thing is, I've never felt close to anyone in my life.

I've been an island for a long time now. I havent had a friend for like 3 years or so and even then they were just video game friends.

I've never had someone I could speak heart to heart with so everything that happens to me stays inside of me.

 

[andersen09]

We must all bow, to the great Narcissistic "fucking" Sociopath and learn from the, oh the wise one, we must.

 

[Cacc]

Quit making a fool of yourself.

You lost. Now it's clear you're hurt and you want some leverage back, so you decide to make fun of me while I'm being vulnerable.

It's the same way you act towards those people that aren't "nice" to you where you get mad and ask them to fight you.

It's clear your ego is very fragile and you hate losing.

Grow up, and stay off my threads.