systems are cages and they are smart cages. they are not just bars. they are invisible, dynamically changing emotion provoking bars- galling or insulting or -- enticing and luring -- and all of the above and I'm writing this from a balanced and good mood again finally and I'm sure that matters, for credibility or whatever
systems are cages but they can also be scaffolding. it depends on the constraints - the constraint equations/the architecture and who they are built to serve and one's position in the system
if you were winning in one system, utterly crushing it financially and everything but what you loved was not in that system or available - how good is that, so there must be some amount of abundance. it can't be a desert in other words..
deserts and cages are possibly good for "training at altitude" but it can't be all there is.
"everything is relative" but some things are objectively better, for anyone, any class or any type. that's to say some are universally horrible, at least for one with spirit, depth and libido
cages are smart. they evoke and they distract. some requirements and duties are paper walls- they rely on optics and odds, that some will take them seriously, as well as attrition and noise. there are paper walls, paper tigers as well as invisible walls (glass ceilings), hidden tigers too (crouching tiger), and there are a way to solve these
stay out of debt, keep load down. i expanded my market and shortly after decided I don't want to live here and why- and that was hard ontologically. I'm seeing that's why it went as it did. i invested in a career when i could have got another one or a different education for free in Germany maybe. I'm not sure what i would have done but maybe I'd be married to a lovely woman. I wasn't that radical and always open but i still generally invested mentally in capitalism and conservatism (individual responsibility/self reliance) even when i knew that community was important for me and part of our human origin story
i think things changed when i decided to study or think about sociology. i started buying a lot of books before that, starting with kind of software and math books and then onto history. then it just spread. i felt a need to study sociology. do i study it or any one thing? mostly i tell myself I'm studying it but not formally not linearly. everything is connected, combined and i study to expand my world, my map and model, not to get credentialed (potentially useful) or certified (patted on the head). i do have max Webers books and durkheim and foucault and others. i do study it but i think about it. thought is more important than just reading. thought is generative. reading only and fast puts one in a special kind of stupor
i think these things helped peel back the cage in the last year or two combined with decades of improvement but no corresponding gains in dating. wtf. real gains have not caught up. i know people have erotic natures. i know they attach. what the hell is going on here. i think i need capital, i need social capital. those can be tools for cage management and success in systems.. and everything is a system. the economic system is global, from the smallest village to the biggest city. its all about the money. so there is financial capital, social capital and Yanis V is talking about political capital, how the troika didn't want to blow that even though they knew the plan wouldn't work (EU, France Germany IMF). fuck their political capital but I don't understand it as such. this is something to think about. capital is value in systems. i hardly know what social capital is - i need to think about that but brain state matters too. the family can put one in a cage, installing constraints in the brain and not even hard constraints like "I can't do x" but more like structures or ghosts that produce constraints - like "maybe someone's watching" or "I want to spite this person". sigh - freedom is a journey I suppose, but time is limited too. its worth understanding the nervous system, its modes and its models of people and things. the nervous system is first tuned in a family system.
till you feel free in your bones
till you can manage
systems are everywhere
this is why people are determined
professors in the us are not that free even with tenure
students are made to believe they are the center, the main stakeholder but they are the product
there are layers of governance, a huge stack, in the US University system which applies also to yale and Harvard and the prestigious Ivy League. everyone obsesses over accreditation as they must. I don't see any way out of this system for the group - but for the individual thats a different story.
interest and debt is a big one. it can really capture. graeber convinced me and i read elsewhere, not all debt should be repaid. there may be occasional moral reasons but default risk should be priced into the model. if All debts are guaranteed and there are no lending controls, then creditors would be stupid not to lend to anyone and everyone. this is a distortion of the market, the alleged free market that the neolibs are all big about.. and maybe they agree with me here. different sides can be in agreement on some issues.. but..
interest will crush and slowly capture people - individuals, institutions, nations even and I have a war debt theory of debt inevitably or why debt is inevitable
imagine everyone has equity in their possessions, every nation too..ie no debt. then someone invents the idea. many people don't want it but a few bold ones get it- and can fund armies or business expansion. well then the holdouts will either be captured and conquered or will have to themselves borrow. in this theory, debt is inevitable. i wonder if anyone came up with this theory or if it has a name. it is kind of like game theory and systems theory
fewer people than you think i think are truly free and satisfied- and not coping or signalling - and maybe those who are free are discreet and you wouldn't know it. I've always felt fairly close but then I feel the system attacks. do i talk too much? i think that's an illusion, like the paper wall apparitions, that one is closer than one is. assume always the system wants to pacify- make one feel free, induce optimism etc. slaves smile and grind. Kings are not necessarily free though they're free from xyz. i was just in Split where Diocletian (Roman empero) retired to grow cabbage- literally.
this writing of mine here is worthy of awards and recognition. I don't want it, at least not here now. maybe I'll write and sell some books under ghost name as a path to financial independence. my ideas are golden though and fairly comprehensive. there are some things, domains or tasks where comprehensiveness is required- a fishnet principle, or air balloon, otherwise the thing you want to capture gets out
what was cutting edge one day for me becomes normal in the days following. "of course people make mental models of me and they are usually wrong and that gets me taken advantage of". "of course people, many grown men, especially renters are not capable of carrying load (or they might not be renters)". model updating is important. i am expanding my self model and building a world model - how various things different depending on place AND specific places - as high res as possible- and then also, it doesn't just help with navigation because my blame function will work better and i can improve my own self model- understand what went wrong and why
sounds all good in theory but model updating, as important as it is, is kind of expensive in multiple ways- time, bandwidth, need to travel, to read and also heal and sleep on things. bathing works, for parasympathetic activation and trauma digestion and defragmentation/integration and this is how i am trying to win in systems and better select and get access to systems - and get the cheese without springing the trap
if you can find others you can depend on, keep them close and happy
