- Joined
- Jul 15, 2014
- Messages
- 244
I feel like I'm stuck in a limbo or plateau, and I have many many many many many many many questions. So halp me plis.
So, I've run into this situation numerous times:
1. I open girls direct on the street, in malls, or other day game venues. I usually say something like "Hey, you just passed by me, and I had to come tell you that you're gorgeous" or "Hey, I saw you from over there, and I had to come tell you that you have amazing legs" or whatever. Lately, I've been trying to have them look at me first.
2. Almost all of them respond really well--they're happy and excited.
3. We exchange names and have a short conversation (5-10 minutes). I start off by asking some basic questions like: what she's up to, if she plays sports (if I used the leg opener), what she does for a living, etc. Then using the information from their responses to each question, I try to deep dive a little bit: what made her want to study what she's majoring in, how she feels about LA (if she's a tourist), how long she has played the sport, etc. I ask maybe 2-3 deep diving questions on 2-3 topics. I try to relate, throw some sexual innuendos, compliment, and cold read during the conversation. I'm okay at chase framing only if I'm provided with good opportunities.
4. I try to number close and they tell me they're taken.
5. They're still happy and excited, and they tell me that I made their day and/or they're very flattered.
Is this a normal occurrence for you?
Is there a possibility that this is a test? I was very straightforward and dominant in my opening, so is she possibly looking for me to not give a shit about her relationship status--whether she's actually taken or bullshitting--and persist for her number?
Issues I can see:
1. She knows what I am about because of my direct opener, so she might be evaluating me during the conversation, then tells me she is taken as a form of rejection.
2. I might be talking to her for too long, so I might be dulling down her excitement/interest. If I talk to her less, on the other hand, then I feel like she may not feel comfortable enough to meet up with me at a later time.
Do you see any more issues?
Solutions:
Be more attuned to her emotions. Try to raise it using sexual innuendos or whatever, then go for the close when her emotions are high. I think deep diving dulls her emotions down.
What's your process like?
Any other suggestions for me to explore the next time I'm out?
Also, a lot of my interactions with college-aged girls end up being boring and interview-like. An example from last night:
Me: That's cool. So what made you want to become a parole officer?
Her: I think it's interesting
Me: Yeah? How so?
Her: I don't know.
I thought about saying "That's cool, I like women in uniform", but my mouth ignored my brain and didn't say it. That might have gotten the girl above in a more flirty/open mood. Generally though, with this specific set of girls in discussion, I'm not sure what their body language says: they seem stiff/numb/dead with a plain face, and they usually avoid eye contact. I'm guessing it's a mixture of being shy/nervous, inexperience, and perhaps auto-rejection from low attainability? I also see these girls interacting with other guys, and some of them appear to be pretty social.
Questions:
Better topics to discuss?
What do you do when a girl is making the conversation interview-like and isn't really putting in the effort, but isn't excusing herself either? Sometimes I try to see if I can move her, but usually she doesn't budge, so then I leave. Usually I just leave without bothering to put in more effort.
Also, does this say something about my attainability, or is this a matter of objective social experience?
When I walk around my campus or my college town, I get at least 1 attractive girl check me out every 20 minutes on average. When I try to establish eye contact, most of them usually look away to the side, ground, or their phone.
When I walk around my friend's neighborhood that has a lot of young professionals, I have about 15-25% of attractive girls check me out. Their eye contact is stronger, and fewer girls look away when I return contact.
When I walked around Beverly Hills for the first time on Friday noon, I'd say about 40% of the attractive girls gave me eye contact, and most of them were very strong. They were anywhere between mid-20s to 40 years of age.
I'll definitely need more data points, but I'm usually pretty busy with schoolwork. Also, my school has a missed connections kind of a website just for our campus, so I'm sorta afraid that I'd end up on there with something like "blah blah...Korean guy named fsc who approached me and told me I was gorgeous...blah blah", then have 10 other girls reply to it saying that something similar happened to them too. However, I've been held back by that fear for so long that now I feel like saying FUCK IT YOLO and just approach anyway.
Many thanks
So, I've run into this situation numerous times:
1. I open girls direct on the street, in malls, or other day game venues. I usually say something like "Hey, you just passed by me, and I had to come tell you that you're gorgeous" or "Hey, I saw you from over there, and I had to come tell you that you have amazing legs" or whatever. Lately, I've been trying to have them look at me first.
2. Almost all of them respond really well--they're happy and excited.
3. We exchange names and have a short conversation (5-10 minutes). I start off by asking some basic questions like: what she's up to, if she plays sports (if I used the leg opener), what she does for a living, etc. Then using the information from their responses to each question, I try to deep dive a little bit: what made her want to study what she's majoring in, how she feels about LA (if she's a tourist), how long she has played the sport, etc. I ask maybe 2-3 deep diving questions on 2-3 topics. I try to relate, throw some sexual innuendos, compliment, and cold read during the conversation. I'm okay at chase framing only if I'm provided with good opportunities.
4. I try to number close and they tell me they're taken.
5. They're still happy and excited, and they tell me that I made their day and/or they're very flattered.
Is this a normal occurrence for you?
Is there a possibility that this is a test? I was very straightforward and dominant in my opening, so is she possibly looking for me to not give a shit about her relationship status--whether she's actually taken or bullshitting--and persist for her number?
Issues I can see:
1. She knows what I am about because of my direct opener, so she might be evaluating me during the conversation, then tells me she is taken as a form of rejection.
2. I might be talking to her for too long, so I might be dulling down her excitement/interest. If I talk to her less, on the other hand, then I feel like she may not feel comfortable enough to meet up with me at a later time.
Do you see any more issues?
Solutions:
Be more attuned to her emotions. Try to raise it using sexual innuendos or whatever, then go for the close when her emotions are high. I think deep diving dulls her emotions down.
What's your process like?
Any other suggestions for me to explore the next time I'm out?
Also, a lot of my interactions with college-aged girls end up being boring and interview-like. An example from last night:
Me: That's cool. So what made you want to become a parole officer?
Her: I think it's interesting
Me: Yeah? How so?
Her: I don't know.
I thought about saying "That's cool, I like women in uniform", but my mouth ignored my brain and didn't say it. That might have gotten the girl above in a more flirty/open mood. Generally though, with this specific set of girls in discussion, I'm not sure what their body language says: they seem stiff/numb/dead with a plain face, and they usually avoid eye contact. I'm guessing it's a mixture of being shy/nervous, inexperience, and perhaps auto-rejection from low attainability? I also see these girls interacting with other guys, and some of them appear to be pretty social.
Questions:
Better topics to discuss?
What do you do when a girl is making the conversation interview-like and isn't really putting in the effort, but isn't excusing herself either? Sometimes I try to see if I can move her, but usually she doesn't budge, so then I leave. Usually I just leave without bothering to put in more effort.
Also, does this say something about my attainability, or is this a matter of objective social experience?
When I walk around my campus or my college town, I get at least 1 attractive girl check me out every 20 minutes on average. When I try to establish eye contact, most of them usually look away to the side, ground, or their phone.
When I walk around my friend's neighborhood that has a lot of young professionals, I have about 15-25% of attractive girls check me out. Their eye contact is stronger, and fewer girls look away when I return contact.
When I walked around Beverly Hills for the first time on Friday noon, I'd say about 40% of the attractive girls gave me eye contact, and most of them were very strong. They were anywhere between mid-20s to 40 years of age.
I'll definitely need more data points, but I'm usually pretty busy with schoolwork. Also, my school has a missed connections kind of a website just for our campus, so I'm sorta afraid that I'd end up on there with something like "blah blah...Korean guy named fsc who approached me and told me I was gorgeous...blah blah", then have 10 other girls reply to it saying that something similar happened to them too. However, I've been held back by that fear for so long that now I feel like saying FUCK IT YOLO and just approach anyway.
Many thanks
