- Joined
- Sep 13, 2013
- Messages
- 2
I’ve known this girl for a few years now since we met at uni. We’ve always been friends, and have lately become closer. I always thought she was attractive, and a nice person, but that was it. Maybe that’s cause she had (and still has) a bf, so I didn’t allow myself to go any further in terms of feelings. She never told me she had a bf and I only found out through online.
When we graduated, we worked on a project together (I still only saw her as a friend, we just work well together). While working, we told each other some big secrets and consequently, I felt like we were now very good friends who knew a lot about each other.
I introduced her to some friends of mine and I overheard her telling one of my friends that she has a bf. Later when she had left, my friend said that he thought ‘we were getting together and that we were a perfect match’, then said ‘shame she has a bf’.
This outside perspective made me look at her in a different way, and it also made me question why she has never mentioned her bf to me, but almost immediately mentioned him to my friend.
My mind set really changed when she spoke to my sister on the phone. When my sister got off, she said ‘I think she likes you…’, I replied ‘No, we’re just friends, she has a bf’ and then my sister said ‘I’m a woman, I think she likes you’.
I suddenly felt more attracted towards her, and I started contemplating on the chances I could make her my gf. When talking to her on the phone I tried to get her to mention her bf but she wouldn’t. I also noticed that she was no longer referring to me as ‘buddy’ like she did when we were at uni, and was now calling me ‘darling’ or silly nicknames. I also mentioned other girls to see how she would react, and she seemed to go really quiet.
The project has done really well and it has allowed us (just her and I) to go to another country for a few days in the next couple of months (it’s not a holiday, the project has been selected for something). She is really excited but still hasn’t mentioned her bf at all, and doesn’t seem too bothered about spending so much intimate time with me in another country.
To end this rather long post, I would like to ask for some advice on what I should do? She is in a serious relationship (I’m guessing she has been with him for three-four years. I don’t know much about it as she never says anything and I haven’t met him. I occasionally see online posts of them together), I want to be respectful of that and not upset her (I may also just be looking too much into this and she just sees me as a friend). On the other hand, I am attracted to her and to be honest, I would like to be with her. Should I stay friends and move on? Or should I suggest things to her subtlety while we’re in another country? Should I just ask her questions about her bf explicitly and see how she responds? (I have no desire to get her to cheat, that’s not what I want to do).
I would really appreciate any advice and many thanks,
James
When we graduated, we worked on a project together (I still only saw her as a friend, we just work well together). While working, we told each other some big secrets and consequently, I felt like we were now very good friends who knew a lot about each other.
I introduced her to some friends of mine and I overheard her telling one of my friends that she has a bf. Later when she had left, my friend said that he thought ‘we were getting together and that we were a perfect match’, then said ‘shame she has a bf’.
This outside perspective made me look at her in a different way, and it also made me question why she has never mentioned her bf to me, but almost immediately mentioned him to my friend.
My mind set really changed when she spoke to my sister on the phone. When my sister got off, she said ‘I think she likes you…’, I replied ‘No, we’re just friends, she has a bf’ and then my sister said ‘I’m a woman, I think she likes you’.
I suddenly felt more attracted towards her, and I started contemplating on the chances I could make her my gf. When talking to her on the phone I tried to get her to mention her bf but she wouldn’t. I also noticed that she was no longer referring to me as ‘buddy’ like she did when we were at uni, and was now calling me ‘darling’ or silly nicknames. I also mentioned other girls to see how she would react, and she seemed to go really quiet.
The project has done really well and it has allowed us (just her and I) to go to another country for a few days in the next couple of months (it’s not a holiday, the project has been selected for something). She is really excited but still hasn’t mentioned her bf at all, and doesn’t seem too bothered about spending so much intimate time with me in another country.
To end this rather long post, I would like to ask for some advice on what I should do? She is in a serious relationship (I’m guessing she has been with him for three-four years. I don’t know much about it as she never says anything and I haven’t met him. I occasionally see online posts of them together), I want to be respectful of that and not upset her (I may also just be looking too much into this and she just sees me as a friend). On the other hand, I am attracted to her and to be honest, I would like to be with her. Should I stay friends and move on? Or should I suggest things to her subtlety while we’re in another country? Should I just ask her questions about her bf explicitly and see how she responds? (I have no desire to get her to cheat, that’s not what I want to do).
I would really appreciate any advice and many thanks,
James
