IN NEED OF HELP TO ALLEVIATE MY MOST BARREN SPELL WITH WOMEN

[azazel.bizo]

Here's my problem: I can say I'm a fairly attractive guy within a social group of other fairly attractive guys too.

Funny thing about my 'clique' is that alot of people on campus, girls and guys, view us as the 'popular playboys' because at first glance we fit the archetype. I'd say we have most of our fundamentals down to a tee, if not all. The truth though, is that only ONE guy out the group is truly within the archetype I just referenced, the ladies love him and he is also quite popular with the hot girls as well as the coolest guys on campus. People probably even consider him the leader of our pack, which isnt the case cause the guy also happens to be the youngest amongst us.

Now the problem with my group is that alot of females on campus would be interested in socialising with us or whatever, or vica versa, and nothing would come to fruition. I feel I also need to mention that the one popular friend of mine is the only one with a girlfriend and gets alot of action with plenty females than all of us. Meaning that he hardly has time to hook up some girls over. And his preselection is also superior to ours. If we were a boyband, he'd be Justin timberlake and we would be the other guys I cant even name a single one of em.

So this rules out getting consistent lays through social circle.

I myself, try do my fair share of approaches on campus but I'm too shackled by excuses not to approach/approach anxiety, but whenever I do manage to start talking to a girl, it can go either hit or miss as I still have plenty chinks in my game to iron out as I wouldnt consider myself very experienced. Another thing is that I do not have a lot of female friends/acquaintances on campus. Despite the occational cute girl here and there I might be speaking to, it really doesnt help my preselection. I remember even a gay classmate of mine telling me "dude u goodlooking, girls probably wanna hook up with u, but i dont understand why i never see u with a girl".

So to wrap this up, I'd appreciate some nice advice/tips for the following:

1. Getting past that barrier of casually opening/approaching new girls

2. Also socialising with girls who I'm not sexually interested in

3. Being more social in general

4. Being more approachable/socially accessible to new girls (more so in the case of exuding a vibe that attracts girls and makes them less nervous to say 'hello' or initiate some eye contact flirting) P.S. The faculty of what I'm studying is one of the smallest with a handful of pretty girls so its hard for me to gain social entry to the hottest girls on campus

I put in a whole lot of information on here, and I believe I could have made it more cohesive cause I wanted to put alot of info on there, so forgive if some parts are hard 2 understand. I hope to hear from u guys

 

[ray_zorse]

Hey mate, well I'm a postgrad at a major university here in Australia, but I don't set all that much store by college game in general, except to say that I live in the downtown which has several campuses in or near it, so if I go out approaching in the downtown or on public transport or in local shopping malls etc, then nearly all of the girls of a certain age that I approach will turn out to be students, and quite a few of them are at the campus where I work/study.

What has worked for me is just tackle the newbie assignment (here) and just get good at approaching girls while out and about. Initially I wasn't confident to approach on or near the campus (in fact I did do my first cold approach ever near the tram stop outside my campus, and she ran away, my vibe must have been a bit nervous/creepy or scary haha)... but when I got better it didn't seem a big deal.

Reading your post I think you are setting far too much store by appearance and social status, well I have read a lot of guides to college game in the USA and I do understand that it's largely about social status (especially Greek life and so on), however this seems to be slightly out of reach for you (and me) at the present time. Fortunately, getting laid is not about appearance or social status, it's about... well, getting laid. Charming women, making them comfortable with you, isolating and escalating.

There's absolutely no reason why outside appearances need to play a role in this. You can meet girls at the campus... for example you're talking on the tram, asking her a bit about yourself, discover she's at the same campus as you, say "ohh well we HAVE to get a coffee together at the campus this week! here, put your number in here" and number grab... then you can meet her on campus... but I wouldn't try to use this for preselection, just be very discreet.

At the same time you can certainly be working on your social presence at the campus, it's just that I would treat it as a separate issue... if you have classes then you certainly should be cold approaching girls in your classes, just sit next to them and say hi and have some chat before and after class etc, then suggest to meet up for a study date or whatever (or I suppose if you're sexually interested then make it a coffee date and try to isolate and escalate, but here I'm examining what you can do to make yourself more popular and give yourself the necessary social proof, and having female friends would be helpful for this).

I also suggest clubs and societies, and just being a generally good guy and leading (e.g. organizing parties or events... in my case I was running a kind of unofficial birthday club in my office for a time, where anyone on our floor who had a birthday coming up would get dobbed in by their friends and would be surprised with a cake and candles and we'd all stand around drinking juice and chatting for an hour or so)... now I'm on a postgraduate social committee and honestly, it has mainly added hard work and made me too busy at our events to be able to socialize, but it does give me a bit of presence I guess.

Above all I would suggest not to TRY TOO HARD socially, put your main efforts into learning to cold approach girls (outside the campus until you get comfortable that you can do this and come across casual and friendly and non creepy, so you don't burn yourself on campus)... and in terms of the campus social life, just do what you enjoy and hang out with the friends you like, no reason you can't organize a kegger with them and invite some girls if you feel like it.

Ray

 

[azazel.bizo]

Ooh thanks for the response hey. I checked out the newbie list thing and since the weekend is imminent im definately starting on it tomorrow