- Joined
- Dec 17, 2013
- Messages
- 172
This is a more general question I'd like to ask, hoping some other guys might also identify with this issue.
I noticed recently, after going back to the "intensive" social life after a period of pursued isolation, that I am the kind of person who, in group situations, can very easily become the center of a group and draw people to him, including girls.
I have also noticed that when you do this, many girls feel much freer having an interaction with you and sometimes they're the ones approaching you.
I also noticed that, the more I engage the girl from the perspective of somebody who has fun interacting with her primarily for his own amusement, and not because he's "chasing her", communicating: "I am here to have fun, you're a cool person so I like interacting with you but you're not essential", the more the girl will see you as some sort of center around which she feels comfortable to orbit.
Now, this seems all good and fine, but, unless you dealt before with the dating aspect of your life consciously (which I never did, I had girlfriends and even one-night stands but it was all spontaneous and I couldn't say why some times it worked and sometimes it didn't) it has its drawbacks when coming to isolating girls and bedding them.
What I notice is:
1) When you have played that role (actually it's not a role, it's naturally me) of the independent, charismatic, social man from the beginning, and the girl has seen you as some sort of "Positive Authority", and you switch too roughly to the guy driven by desire for her, then they might lose some attraction and esteem towards you and sometimes get cold and distant.
2) When you are the guy the group is always looking for, it becomes more difficult to find yourself in one-to-one situations.
Because I understand that this natural part of my personality has indeed a lot of potential in the dating world, if used correctly, which suggestions would you give for keeping all the potential of the independent, charismatic, celf-centered, social man while AT THE SAME TIME, WITHOUT AWKARD MOMENTS IN WHICH YOU SEEM TO BECOME A COMPLETE DIFFERENT PERSON, introducing some more specific one-to-one, pick-up skills?
After reading some articles from dating experts, I am starting to think I am kinda of a natural who does many right things but has no conscious mastery of his own potential. Has any of you ever experienced that?
I noticed recently, after going back to the "intensive" social life after a period of pursued isolation, that I am the kind of person who, in group situations, can very easily become the center of a group and draw people to him, including girls.
I have also noticed that when you do this, many girls feel much freer having an interaction with you and sometimes they're the ones approaching you.
I also noticed that, the more I engage the girl from the perspective of somebody who has fun interacting with her primarily for his own amusement, and not because he's "chasing her", communicating: "I am here to have fun, you're a cool person so I like interacting with you but you're not essential", the more the girl will see you as some sort of center around which she feels comfortable to orbit.
Now, this seems all good and fine, but, unless you dealt before with the dating aspect of your life consciously (which I never did, I had girlfriends and even one-night stands but it was all spontaneous and I couldn't say why some times it worked and sometimes it didn't) it has its drawbacks when coming to isolating girls and bedding them.
What I notice is:
1) When you have played that role (actually it's not a role, it's naturally me) of the independent, charismatic, social man from the beginning, and the girl has seen you as some sort of "Positive Authority", and you switch too roughly to the guy driven by desire for her, then they might lose some attraction and esteem towards you and sometimes get cold and distant.
2) When you are the guy the group is always looking for, it becomes more difficult to find yourself in one-to-one situations.
Because I understand that this natural part of my personality has indeed a lot of potential in the dating world, if used correctly, which suggestions would you give for keeping all the potential of the independent, charismatic, celf-centered, social man while AT THE SAME TIME, WITHOUT AWKARD MOMENTS IN WHICH YOU SEEM TO BECOME A COMPLETE DIFFERENT PERSON, introducing some more specific one-to-one, pick-up skills?
After reading some articles from dating experts, I am starting to think I am kinda of a natural who does many right things but has no conscious mastery of his own potential. Has any of you ever experienced that?
