I've been trying some indirect game as the situation permits, since it does seem to get me more solid opens and it helps keep my frame. Escalating properly after seems to be a big sticking point.
On the way, I see this girl in all-black, walking towards me from a distance. Monitored through peripherals and made EC almost at the same time as her as we pass. Saw curiosity in her eyes (best way I can describe it).
I think for a second, say fuck it, turn and walk toward her. She's walking fast and we have a lot of distance between us. There are also other people walking between us. I'm still not fully sure I should go for it, walking at a leisurely pace. She looks back once and looks in my direction (thankfully I wasn't directly looking) and I'm thinking this is gonna get creepy if I don't do something quick lol.
She reaches an intersection, crosses and stops on the other side. I cross and see she's on the phone talking, and pass by. Pretend to look at some garden for a minute and start walking back, see she's done with the call. I pass her by (she has her back towards me) and at the last moment turn my head towards her and she turns, gives me a smile and turns promptly back. Very flirty, I'm in!
Sidenote: when going indirect I think I really become too cautious. Not sure if this level of pussyfooting is good. I do want the interactions to be smooth and natural though
I playfully say "hey!"
She turns back towards me, smiles bigger and says "hi!"
She's way cuter than I had originally thought!
I realize that we're well past the hook point and enjoying the conversation. I ask "Hey, what are you upto later?"
"Nothing special I guess, I was supposed to go play tennis but I got no bike lol"
"Haha perfect. Let's get a drink and keep on talking"
"Sure!"
She takes off her coat and sits opposite me. Doesn't wanna drink alcohol, we order some non alcoholic beer.
I notice some tattoos on her arms. We're talking, still playful. I make a small sexual innuendo, she laughs with a bit of suspicion in her eyes. I notice that I'm not in a dominant/masculine headspace, I almost felt apologetic after making the joke, didn't own it.
We start talking about the tattoos. I'm deep diving, about the story behind each. Go into how tattoos are a way for self-expression and owning your story. Get especially curious about her favorite tattoo and cold-read something about her personality which she agrees with.
I'm thinking I should escalate touch. I take her hand to examine another tattoo, she lets me but I sense some surprise and discomfort, so I just let it go and keep on talking.
We keep talking about deep stuff, childhood, culture and all, while I break it in-between with some light teasing. She's witty and playful, but calm. I felt somehow that even though I'm the one teasing her, I'm still the more reactive one.
It didn't feel right to try to touch her again. Normally I also ask a girl sitting opposite to come sit beside me after some point, but the vibe didn't feel right. Its like I've been hiding my intentions all this while, and now my balls have shrunk and I'm afraid of rejection! All in my head?
We talk some more, itts been like 1 hr in the bar by now. She then mentions she wants to leave in 10 mins since she wants to continue with some artwork she was making. <- This I guess was the sign she was done with the thing.
I say cool, refer to an earlier inside joke and say that we should continue that another day. She agrees and we exchange numbers.
I walk her to her busstop which is on my way home, and at the busstop I decide I should try and ask her to come home (super bad timing in retrospect).
She then took a while to reply and wrote that its better we don't meet coz she didn't feel we hit it off. But thanked for the nice conversation.
Sometimes you can tease a girl and still come off as friendly. Teases should be more sexual/chase-framey
The Approach
I was just walking to a cafe near my place to read a book. Didn't have plans to do daygame. I'm in a chill, not-so-social headspace.On the way, I see this girl in all-black, walking towards me from a distance. Monitored through peripherals and made EC almost at the same time as her as we pass. Saw curiosity in her eyes (best way I can describe it).
I think for a second, say fuck it, turn and walk toward her. She's walking fast and we have a lot of distance between us. There are also other people walking between us. I'm still not fully sure I should go for it, walking at a leisurely pace. She looks back once and looks in my direction (thankfully I wasn't directly looking) and I'm thinking this is gonna get creepy if I don't do something quick lol.
She reaches an intersection, crosses and stops on the other side. I cross and see she's on the phone talking, and pass by. Pretend to look at some garden for a minute and start walking back, see she's done with the call. I pass her by (she has her back towards me) and at the last moment turn my head towards her and she turns, gives me a smile and turns promptly back. Very flirty, I'm in!
Sidenote: when going indirect I think I really become too cautious. Not sure if this level of pussyfooting is good. I do want the interactions to be smooth and natural though
I playfully say "hey!"
She turns back towards me, smiles bigger and says "hi!"
She's way cuter than I had originally thought!
Then we get into a general light getting-to-know conversation. I had locked myself in, leaning against a car. Turns out she'd lost her bike and was looking for it, teased her about it. The whole thing is playful, and we also found out some commonalities which boosted the social frame - favorite cities, views about the locals, etc.DJ: So, I saw you like twice while I was walking about
HB: I saw you thrice!
DJ: Oh, did you?
HB: Yeah, once before in the street, and then you passed me, and now here again
DJ: Oh you've been noticing me so much eh?
HB: (playfully suspicious) What are you upto?
DJ: Was going to the cafe to read, too busy there. Decided to check out that garden instead. Saw you walking about and got curious
I realize that we're well past the hook point and enjoying the conversation. I ask "Hey, what are you upto later?"
"Nothing special I guess, I was supposed to go play tennis but I got no bike lol"
"Haha perfect. Let's get a drink and keep on talking"
"Sure!"
Instant Date
Not too many decent spots nearby. I take her to a small Irish pub. Loud music, but this is still more intimate than the cafe I was going to.She takes off her coat and sits opposite me. Doesn't wanna drink alcohol, we order some non alcoholic beer.
I notice some tattoos on her arms. We're talking, still playful. I make a small sexual innuendo, she laughs with a bit of suspicion in her eyes. I notice that I'm not in a dominant/masculine headspace, I almost felt apologetic after making the joke, didn't own it.
We start talking about the tattoos. I'm deep diving, about the story behind each. Go into how tattoos are a way for self-expression and owning your story. Get especially curious about her favorite tattoo and cold-read something about her personality which she agrees with.
I'm thinking I should escalate touch. I take her hand to examine another tattoo, she lets me but I sense some surprise and discomfort, so I just let it go and keep on talking.
We keep talking about deep stuff, childhood, culture and all, while I break it in-between with some light teasing. She's witty and playful, but calm. I felt somehow that even though I'm the one teasing her, I'm still the more reactive one.
It didn't feel right to try to touch her again. Normally I also ask a girl sitting opposite to come sit beside me after some point, but the vibe didn't feel right. Its like I've been hiding my intentions all this while, and now my balls have shrunk and I'm afraid of rejection! All in my head?
We talk some more, itts been like 1 hr in the bar by now. She then mentions she wants to leave in 10 mins since she wants to continue with some artwork she was making. <- This I guess was the sign she was done with the thing.
I say cool, refer to an earlier inside joke and say that we should continue that another day. She agrees and we exchange numbers.
I walk her to her busstop which is on my way home, and at the busstop I decide I should try and ask her to come home (super bad timing in retrospect).
Vibe got a bit awkward, tried to salvage by changing the subject, hugged her bye and left with a neutral vibe.DJ: You really wanna do artwork at 10? I live right here, let's chill with some tea
HB: (looks suspicious) Err I actually wanna go home
DJ: Ok sure, was just asking
Texting
We bantered a bit on text and left it there. 2 days later I asked her to meet.She then took a while to reply and wrote that its better we don't meet coz she didn't feel we hit it off. But thanked for the nice conversation.
Takeaways
I'm pussyfooting hard, and especially when I'm trying indirect. Also feeling less dominant and low-momentum in general. Maybe I should stick to direct till I sort things out. Direct kinda gives me "permission" to be more dominant. I will eventually have to figure out a way to do that while running indirect.Sometimes you can tease a girl and still come off as friendly. Teases should be more sexual/chase-framey
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