Insight from men on this guy’s behavior needed

[Lilly]

I hope this is the correct category to post this in.

Some recap about me: female, 28, virgin, has been going out alone a lot more to find a long-term relationship.

I need some input from experienced men here about what happened today.

I went to the local spa and I immediately got creepy vibes from a guy upon first seeing him and instinctively knew he was attracted. I ignored him and focused on swimming, then went outside where he circled me twice from different directions. He deliberately looked sideways each time, but the weird vibe stayed

Before entering the spa, I’d booked the pool and the sauna—my first time at a mixed non-textile sauna (meaning everyone is fully naked). I chose to do this to see how I’ll hold myself in such discomfort, being naked around strangers.

So to avoid the creepy guy, I went upstairs to the sauna and entered one with two women, who promptly left however. A minute later the guy arrives (!) and also enters the sauna I chose. My stress level is through the roof by now. Then he steps directly in front of me with a hand covering his dick, sprays some more water onto the bench and then sits right beside me.

I was very close to a freeze response. I stared straight ahead at the clock, not moving a muscle. After 15 mins my system was close to overheating so I left the sauna first, which meant he saw my rear fully naked but I needed to get out of the heat and drink some water. I went to the sauna bar, the workers give me water, and two minutes later I walk back to the changing room when I see the guy step out of the shower.

I put my bikini back on quickly, went downstairs to the pool and immediately looked for a woman to chat with. I clicked with a nice old lady and her grandkids, we had a long conversation, and I see the guy look down at the pool from the upstairs sauna balcony.

An hour later (8PM) I got out of the pool, bid the lady farewell, and five mins later he walks past me again.

At this point I felt a sliding door moment of choice. I’d actually planned to stay at the pool till 9PM, then go to the hotel bar and have a mocktail, maybe meet a man I’m attracted to. But now I felt like that’d be untrue. I was torn between, “You paid a lot of money for this pool + sauna experience. You wanted to mingle and maybe get to know a guy your age to click with, have a nice Sunday evening and drive back home late. Do you really want to let this creep ruin your plans??” and “Every woman who’s been raped had to choose between staying and leaving at some point. Are you really going to ignore your gut feeling??”

So I left and got back home safely.

What do you guys think?

Maybe he wouldn’t have done anything. But the deliberate entering the sauna I was in alone, stepping up to my face naked and sitting right next to me honestly disturbed me, aside from his whole following me around.

 

[gameboy]

I believe that's what happens when a man desires to be with women, but fears expressing the desire and actually approaching her in a way that actually allows the woman to respond (and potentially reject him). He turns to creepy behaviour like this, since he can't open his mouth and just talk to you in a normal way. It sounds paradoxical, but he's afraid of doing that. It's an irrational fear.

I don't think he would have raped you. Of course we can't say for sure, but I've seen this creepy behaviour myself on the beach lots of times. Guys will just sit close to a (hot) woman and stare, but not be able to approach. Until the woman finally leaves.

 

[KJ Francis]

Agreed. You saw an extreme example of creepiness (his desired intent not matching his actions... which creates a lot of worry about what his actual unknown intent is), and it sounds like an extremely uncomfortable experience. But attraction does kind of operate like this. It's like if you were on the beach during a beautiful sunset, it would be very difficult to turn your back to it. If I am in a waiting room and there's a beautiful girl way on the other side of the room, it is next to impossible to remove her from my peripheral awareness.

 

[Skills]

I hope this is the correct category to post this in.

Some recap about me: female, 28, virgin, has been going out alone a lot more to find a long-term relationship.

I need some input from experienced men here about what happened today.

I went to the local spa and I immediately got creepy vibes from a guy upon first seeing him and instinctively knew he was attracted. I ignored him and focused on swimming, then went outside where he circled me twice from different directions. He deliberately looked sideways each time, but the weird vibe stayed

Before entering the spa, I’d booked the pool and the sauna—my first time at a mixed non-textile sauna (meaning everyone is fully naked). I chose to do this to see how I’ll hold myself in such discomfort, being naked around strangers.

So to avoid the creepy guy, I went upstairs to the sauna and entered one with two women, who promptly left however. A minute later the guy arrives (!) and also enters the sauna I chose. My stress level is through the roof by now. Then he steps directly in front of me with a hand covering his dick, sprays some more water onto the bench and then sits right beside me.

I was very close to a freeze response. I stared straight ahead at the clock, not moving a muscle. After 15 mins my system was close to overheating so I left the sauna first, which meant he saw my rear fully naked but I needed to get out of the heat and drink some water. I went to the sauna bar, the workers give me water, and two minutes later I walk back to the changing room when I see the guy step out of the shower.

I put my bikini back on quickly, went downstairs to the pool and immediately looked for a woman to chat with. I clicked with a nice old lady and her grandkids, we had a long conversation, and I see the guy look down at the pool from the upstairs sauna balcony.

An hour later (8PM) I got out of the pool, bid the lady farewell, and five mins later he walks past me again.

At this point I felt a sliding door moment of choice. I’d actually planned to stay at the pool till 9PM, then go to the hotel bar and have a mocktail, maybe meet a man I’m attracted to. But now I felt like that’d be untrue. I was torn between, “You paid a lot of money for this pool + sauna experience. You wanted to mingle and maybe get to know a guy your age to click with, have a nice Sunday evening and drive back home late. Do you really want to let this creep ruin your plans??” and “Every woman who’s been raped had to choose between staying and leaving at some point. Are you really going to ignore your gut feeling??”

So I left and got back home safely.

What do you guys think?

Maybe he wouldn’t have done anything. But the deliberate entering the sauna I was in alone, stepping up to my face naked and sitting right next to me honestly disturbed me, aside from his whole following me around.

this sounded like a rape porno plot gone wrong.... made me lol... So his issue is what we a called parking (taking too long too open), he should have gone up to you and open you, and that way he knew were he stand, or he should have thrown an approach invite (i think he did though) but after the fuck off body language, he should have moved on and gotten the hint...

guys that park come across as creepy due to lack of confidence and staring... Same with guys that don't get hints...

But good job getting naked and comfortable doing so in public, that is huge...

P.S, Saunas HAVE ALWAYS BEEN creepy guys breeding grounds... is common knowledge for men and women..

 

[Atlas IV]

First time I've heard of a sauna where men and women are naked TOGETHER.

I know in Japan it's traditional to enter an onsen naked, but they are always segregated between men and women, for obvious reasons.

Even here in Thailand, where saunas, gay saunas and such are common, I do not believe I have ever heard of an establishment where both men and women are naked together.

That sounds like a terrible idea, a place that would naturally attract the worst sorts. I would not be comfortable with the idea of a woman I care about ever going somewhere like that.

So to avoid the creepy guy, I went upstairs to the sauna and entered one with two women, who promptly left however. A minute later the guy arrives (!) and also enters the sauna I chose. My stress level is through the roof by now. Then he steps directly in front of me with a hand covering his dick, sprays some more water onto the bench and then sits right beside me.

This sounds like a nightmare. A situation like this should not be permitted in a properly regulated society.

Is this one of those places that has gone full woke LGBTQ++ and thrown all safety rules out the window?

 

[Will_V]

I hope this is the correct category to post this in.

Some recap about me: female, 28, virgin, has been going out alone a lot more to find a long-term relationship.

I need some input from experienced men here about what happened today.

I went to the local spa and I immediately got creepy vibes from a guy upon first seeing him and instinctively knew he was attracted. I ignored him and focused on swimming, then went outside where he circled me twice from different directions. He deliberately looked sideways each time, but the weird vibe stayed

Before entering the spa, I’d booked the pool and the sauna—my first time at a mixed non-textile sauna (meaning everyone is fully naked). I chose to do this to see how I’ll hold myself in such discomfort, being naked around strangers.

So to avoid the creepy guy, I went upstairs to the sauna and entered one with two women, who promptly left however. A minute later the guy arrives (!) and also enters the sauna I chose. My stress level is through the roof by now. Then he steps directly in front of me with a hand covering his dick, sprays some more water onto the bench and then sits right beside me.

I was very close to a freeze response. I stared straight ahead at the clock, not moving a muscle. After 15 mins my system was close to overheating so I left the sauna first, which meant he saw my rear fully naked but I needed to get out of the heat and drink some water. I went to the sauna bar, the workers give me water, and two minutes later I walk back to the changing room when I see the guy step out of the shower.

I put my bikini back on quickly, went downstairs to the pool and immediately looked for a woman to chat with. I clicked with a nice old lady and her grandkids, we had a long conversation, and I see the guy look down at the pool from the upstairs sauna balcony.

An hour later (8PM) I got out of the pool, bid the lady farewell, and five mins later he walks past me again.

At this point I felt a sliding door moment of choice. I’d actually planned to stay at the pool till 9PM, then go to the hotel bar and have a mocktail, maybe meet a man I’m attracted to. But now I felt like that’d be untrue. I was torn between, “You paid a lot of money for this pool + sauna experience. You wanted to mingle and maybe get to know a guy your age to click with, have a nice Sunday evening and drive back home late. Do you really want to let this creep ruin your plans??” and “Every woman who’s been raped had to choose between staying and leaving at some point. Are you really going to ignore your gut feeling??”

So I left and got back home safely.

What do you guys think?

Maybe he wouldn’t have done anything. But the deliberate entering the sauna I was in alone, stepping up to my face naked and sitting right next to me honestly disturbed me, aside from his whole following me around.

Sounds like a weird dude, whether he had bad intentions or just couldn't figure out how to say hi, I'm not sure anyone can tell you. Sounds like you took care of yourself, keeping other people around and leaving when your instinct told you so.

This being a seduction forum, I'm not sure where the seduction is? Except maybe as an example of how not to do it lol.